IFLA: The “Very Suspicious” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of June 7

by | Jun 7, 2026 | IFLA | 41 comments

Why would someone leave a wig and plain black hat on a fencepost, with an undecorated black jacket a few yards away? This set Lily into guardian mode too. Interestingly enough, it was still there nearly a week after it first appeared, so I guess nobody wanted to get involved with it.


Very little going on this week. Two days of bad luck on Thursday and Saturday — the first being more of a depressed/sickness bad luck and the latter being more violence/accident oriented. Other than that, you’re on your own, sky-wise.



Gemini: The Emperor reversed – Benevolence, compassion, credit, confusion to enemies, obstruction, immaturity.

Cancer: 4 of Swords reversed – Wise administration, circumspection, economy, avarice, precaution, testament.

Leo: 10 of Coins – Gain, riches, family matters, archives, extraction, the abode of a family. 

Virgo: Justice reversed – Sometimes these cards are amazingly straightforward. This is one of those times.

Libra: 8 of Cups – This card shows someone leaving his treasure. This is usually read as one of two things: either about the man being modest, or the treasure no longer being of value to the man. That’s where the analogous reading of a problem or opportunity not being as important as it initially seems comes from.

Scorpio: 4 of Cups – Weariness, disgust, aversion. It can also mean not falling for bullshit.

Sagittarius: 2 of Coins – News, games, excitement.

Capricorn: 9 of Swords reversed – Imprisonment, suspicion, doubt, reasonable fear, shame. On the good side, you’ll be aware of the problems.

Aquarius: The Sun reversed – Material happiness, fortunate marriage, contentment. But not as much as if the card would have been drawn upright. Still better than any card with swords on it.

Pisces: 5 of Cups reversed – News, alliances, affinity, consanguinity, ancestry, return, false projects.

Aries: 6 of Coins reversed – Desire, cupidity, envy, jealousy, illusion. It can also refer to landlords, tax collectors, or those that make their wealth from people poorer than themselves.

Taurus: 10 of Swords reversed – A success but one that comes at too high of a cost, or that lasts much less time than expected.

About The Author

Not Adahn

Not Adahn

Despite all my rage, I am still just an impeccably dressed rat.

41 Comments

  1. Gender Traitor

    Why would someone leave a wig and plain black hat on a fencepost, with an undecorated black jacket a few yards away?

    “The Goth party is here,” maybe?

  2. Tres Cool

    whaddup doh’

    I’m not sure what to make of Virgo.

    • Evan from Evansville

      You’re fucked.

      • Threedoor

        So The Usual

  3. The Late P Brooks

    Sagittarius: 2 of Coins – News, games, excitement.

    Los Angeles: betting it all on red.

    • Evan from Evansville

      California gov, latest from NBC. Cali is fucked.

      Xavier Becerra (D) 1,825,409 27.0% –> No clue why this fuck already has an assured check mark; Hilton doesn’t.
      Steve Hilton (R) 1,760,640 26.1%
      Tom Steyer (D) 1,439,225 21.3%

      That’s not many votes for a state of ~40M. Plenty of recounting to be done, I’m sure! Must synchronize the Top 2 Dems!

      • UnCivilServant

        Because the fake ballots are all being printed to push only (D) candidates into the top two. Can’t risk the voters running away with an upset over the machine.

  4. The Late P Brooks

    Thanks for explaining that photo. I had absolutely no clue what it was supposed to be.

    • Fourscore

      Black cat? Porcupine?

      • Aloysious

        I thought it was Swiss’ toupee. You know, the one he wears when he is disguised as

      • Aloysious

        … STEVE SMITH.

        stupid fat fingers.

  5. SarumanTheWoefullyIgnorant

    “Leo: 10 of Coins – Gain, riches, family matters, archives, extraction, the abode of a family.”

    Nothing being gained other than interest in bank account, have enough to live on, have a family reunion coming up, am working on an archive, am extracting data from downloads for that archive, and I’m in my domicile.

      • Tres Cool

        I tell people Im a venture capitalist- I play lottery

    • Fourscore

      I’m too lucky. If I bought a lottery ticket I might win.

  6. Sean

    “ Cancer: 4 of Swords reversed – Wise administration, circumspection, economy, avarice, precaution, testament.”

    I’ll be sure to give thought to where I place the camera.

  7. Evan from Evansville

    “Taurus: 10 of Swords reversed – A success but one that comes at too high of a cost, or that lasts much less time than expected.”

    Huh. May be true. Got a lead for a proofreader gig for “Dr Berg Nutritionals,” where I’d be checking video and short-form content to maintain accuracy and a consistent voice for the brand. It’s full-time and remote, which seems the current trend. It’s also “contract to hire,” another consistency, though one where the transition(!) is smoke ‘n mirrors. (Another consistency w (alleged) transing!)

    I applied and added the two mandatory video answers which, as discussed here, are likely just to ‘prove’ I’ve got the right look and voice for the part. On paper, my resume is kinda a slam dunk for this gig, but I’m many things on paper. Test scoring paid $18/hr, a figure that’s my baseline figure for ‘If I consistently earn it, I can get my own place (somewhere cheaper than here, but a place) and move upward. Walmart was a measly $14, current fall-back Meijer pays a chipper $16.30.

    This place is offering $25-$30 (based on experience), and still, $25 is a stellar hurdle for me to (possibly) attain. No news yet on how long the proposed contract would be, but even if it’s short, I’d certainly jump on it. Keeping in the Meijer system was/is wise of me. (If I worked there instead of Walmart for the 10 months I did, I’d have $2,000 more than I do now.)

    @Shout-out to Muzzled! I’d love to hear (hopefully upbeat) news of your landing at Publix. I forget the ‘origin’ background, but I’m well aware how important a sliver of stability is. Congrats! It’s a big deal. *high five*

    Directly on that front, I’m gonna work on my Test Scoring write-up for here. I also think I’ll separately post some better (or worse, or interesting) student essays I took note of. (Those could be fun filler pieces here.) I want to write that before I lose memory immediacy, but I’ve been thinking of how to structure a piece about my skull being restructured in ’19. The pics are, legit, wild. The pics of me then, compared to now, truly highlight my Wolverine-healing abilities, ‘sadly’ better than the x-rays showing my titanium hip/ femurs.

    Time for my daily, 50 rapid fire push up warm-up, a shower and a walk. Doing quick workouts in the morning is a ‘new’ Must Do for me. It’s remarkable, and predictable, how those endorphins and ‘accomplishment’ hormones change the flow of your brain.

  8. Evan from Evansville

    Glad I didn’t add this bit to that lengthy recap: After two weeks with 5yo nephew, we’re having dinner together with his family, who just returned from a France/England vacation. (I’m curious as to what they saw and showed the two older boys, other than the Big Tourist spots they highlighted.) They’re True Blue, and I wonder how the Euro Scene makes my brother feel, as he studied in England for a year in 2000.

    Oldest nephew turned 13(!) on the trip and my bro’s 45th is tomorrow. I’m quite positive Measured Colin timed it (with his obliging, lovely and AWFL wife) so he’d turn 50 when his oldest turns 18. (He also got a vasectomy to end w three kids. Another example of his focus and pre-planning. Damn him.)

  9. DrOtto

    Is that how the kids are announcing a successful weave snatch these days?

    • Evan from Evansville

      I thought a snatch weave was traditionally called a “Brazilian.”

      • Evan from Evansville

        “Save the trees! Save the bees! Save the whales! Save those snails!” you mentioned earlier. Already, two horses in harness, you and I. I believe we’re both well familiar with President Merkin Muffley. (God, that extra bit is extra fun. Forgotten about that.)

        Were I a teacher, I’d use Carlin’s “Football v Baseball” as mandatory reading. Certainly for English, but can also be used in (recent) history and culture. It’s spectacular in every way. Could fucking use it for Greek /Roman oratory.

        Interesting, Kubrick draws so much criticism and applause. (I suppose that’s a solid metric for ‘interesting.’) I’ve only seen Strangelove, which is certainly in my Top 5, and with Clockwork Orange.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        I could see clean Carlin going over well with Asian students of English.

        Not The Shining or Full Metal Jacket? 2001 I found mostly dull, occasionally hypnotic.

        Nutella ice cream is aMAZing 🎶 ! I’m glad it’s too rich to finish the pint. 🌰 🍫 🍨 🤤

      • Tres Cool

        “Save the fucking planet? We havent even learned to take care our ourselves yet.”
        “The planet is doing fine…..the people are fucked.”

      • Evan from Evansville

        I think “Save the Planet” is from 1993 Live in NYC. Early fucking 90s and Carlin was on top of it. And he’s right! Tremendous.

        Of ‘In My Lifetime’ folk, he’s high up on my list of People to Hang Out With. (All time? Assuming language is a factor? Ben Franklin. Come on!! Favorite FF and also as just a fun, important and influential dude. Invented an instrument, much legit science was done, was a great time and fucked his way through everywhere as a political ambassador.

        Nutella, eh? Well. I’m thrilled you enjoy it! It’ll be used as a clear delineation of Our Sides in the fridge.

      • Threedoor

        My dad would mock the late 80s environmentalism with “save the homeless, starving, gay baby whales.”

        I’m not sure if he made that up or picked it up somewhere but it tracks for the time, and now.

      • Threedoor

        Sometimes he would add “for Jesus” on the end of it.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        So many haters here of the hazelnut, the One True Nut.

        This more your speed, Evan? 🥜 (Please tell me you’ve seen Better Off Dead.)

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2WDx-tMhbQ

      • Threedoor

        I’m on team hazelnut.

        Screw the walnut. Those suck.

      • rhywun

        OMG yes, walnuts are the worst.

        Cashews are objectively the best nut. I’ve never had hazelnut in any form that isn’t Nutella.

  10. PieInTheSky

    I am begining to think this horoscope may not be all that accurate

    • UnCivilServant

      Given the picture, I think they’re Horrorscopes.

      Note, I don’t generally read the horoscope section.

      • Evan from Evansville

        Threedoor is correct. Their first (with ‘Inside Out’/ Heart in a Blender) is pretty good. Kinda underrated? That second one, is consistently, surprisingly good. Tremendously underrated. It’s been a long while, but I’ve gone to bat for them before. Not the greatest musicians and not the biggest goals, but that’s a fun, tight, interesting album.

    • Fourscore

      Sometimes people just make stuff up and then make it sound all sciency.

      My mother would make an annual trek to a local Fortune Teller, come home brimming with things from the past that the Fortune Teller had reverse predicted.

  11. The Late P Brooks

    2001 I found mostly dull, occasionally hypnotic.

    That movie puts me to sleep every single time. I have never maintained consciousness to watch it from beginning to end.

    As I recall. Barry Lyndon is what they call a visual feast.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    Nuke the whales.

    Time for the taxicab race.

      • Threedoor

        I did a little diggin.

        Nuke the whales looks like it was a lyric and a bumper sticker in 1979.

        Variations of nuke the gay baby whales for Christ was a bit later.

        Looks like my dad threw in starving Ethiopians for more flavor.

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