cartoon medley #2
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Derpetologist
The world's foremost authority on the science of stupidity, Professor Emeritus at Derpskatonic University, Editor of the Journal of Pure and Theoretical Derp,
Chancellor of the Royal Derp Society, and Senior Fellow at The Dipshit Doodlebug Institute for Advanced Idiocy
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Oooh, comrades is funny and the last one is best. Damn. That’s cold. And very, very funny. I like the devil one, but could be better delivered.
The octopus could be cleverly used.
Back in the old days we had a crank telephone on the wall, the phone company was our township only, To call someone in an adjacent township you had to crank the operator (like dialing zero) and she would connect you and ring it down. Every local call would be heard by everyone in the township. Our number was 15, 1 long, 5 shorts, so you had to listen and count the rings. You could heard more people picking up and listening so classified info was never discussed.
There was a general call, maybe 5 longs (I don’t remember) in case of a forest fire, weather alert, etc. I think our bill was about 2.50 a month
The jelly? That is my 2nd favorite.
LOL well-done, all of these are pretty good. My favorite at first glance is the dino.
That smug bastard! Well. He doesn’t have a club!
I’d like a world where, when I’m full of impotent rage, I shake my fists at dinosaurs instead of clouds.
So after getting dicked around on the surprisingly elaborate Hudson River ferry system, I managed to make it to my hotel room and only missed 5 minutes of USA! USA!
Out ten bucks though. 🤬
“Out ten bucks though. 🤬”
They haven’t lost, yet. I’m sure ya got a friendly Joisey bookie.
It feels like home already.
I tell you what though, after five minutes I’m never staying in another Manhattan hotel again.
For the same money I get nice a brand (“Sheraton”), three times the space, a desk and a chair*, a second television, and a little conversation nook that I probably won’t use.
*To be fair you usually get this in Manhattan but not during my last trip
“and a little conversation nook ”
*stern stare over resting glasses* Oh, so that’s what we’re calling it now?
If you’re implying some sort of other usage for two chairs arranged around a little coffee table, I don’t think that is going to happen.
Ten bucks? It’s $20 downtown.
Jellyfish are among the animals that are literally brainless. Other examples include sponges, coral, and [insert your least favorite group of people here].
alternate devil cartoon: https://platedlizard.blogspot.com/2026/06/damnation.html
bonus cartoon: https://platedlizard.blogspot.com/2026/06/boredom.html
You are doing a funtastic job.
They brighten my day.
Why does Belgium have fairy blue jerseys with pink bubbles on ’em? Sorry, rhy, but why are they making it as gay as possible?
David Beckham in a Home Depot commercial. Huh. Well. *shuffles fingers together, indicating money, likely an anti-Jewish ‘slur’ of some sort* It’s there.
Side note: I think the modern neck-tattoo craze is really fucking dumb. Like, really really fucking dumb. Really. (Fucking. (Dumb.))
René Magritte homage
https://www.fastcompany.com/91556436/adidas-belgium-world-cup-jerseys
Ceci n’est pas une jersey
Now I want to smoke a pipe.
From a distance I thought it was a Spongebob Squarepants homage.
From a distance the world looks blue and green.
Nothing below the elbow
Nothing above the collar.
Preach it, Mr. Door.
Amen!
Long sleeves for life, if you’ve got one on the forearm.
Maybe they’re leftover jerseys from June.
With you on the tatts. It’s so ridiculous overblown, practically a requirement. The profession of “star sports person” attracts a certain kind.
Teachers and Satan.
Zing.
No Brainer is T shirt material.
It really is.
Brevity is the soul of wit. Reader’s Digest taught me that when I was little.
Absolutely. ^^ That’s the context. Would buy, if I didn’t ‘believe’ in having non-identifying clothing. (UCS may be with me on that. I want to make it as hard as possible for people to ‘That guy!’ me in public. (Unless someone thinks I’m cute. But. Trade-offs.))
I am also a blend-in type. I refuse to wear a “brand” name for example.
It felt wrong to attach the Glibs pin to one of my hats.
Same. I’m a no logos guy. Not because I think Naomi Klein is anything but a midwit but because I think it’s gauche.
Thanks. I’ve always liked nature and the Far Side sense of humor.
Anybody who wants to be a cartoonist should do stand-up first. If you can’t make people laugh with just words, visual aids will not help.
I kind of like Gallagher for being a one-of-a-kind performer. Prop comedy is harder than stand-up which is harder than improv.
Amy Pohler, back when she made me laugh:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgCfynbhGFY
Maybe I will watch that later but I still love Parks & Rec. I discovered it long after it ended. I don’t know anything else she did before or after SNL.
I’d say the Grim Reaper one is the best and also T-shirt material.
If I knew I’d succeed, I’d probably be a cartoonist. That’s a better way of looking at things than asking what to do with a million dollars.
AI art is just an extension of memes, which is just modifying an existing image. It’s just another form of the knock-knock joke. I don’t consider my work to be intellectual property since the AI does most of the work. Even so, it takes some skill to get the prompt right.
Heathcliff has been around for 50 years, and the jokes are getting pretty meta.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PbB4s20zmA
***
After taking over authorship, Peter Gallagher introduced recurring elements of surreal humor.[1] A profile in The New York Times identifies a comic published on Oct. 24, 2007 as a turning point toward “surreal, logic-defying” comedy. It depicts the Nutmeg family preparing to eat a ham at the dinner table while Heathcliff wears a helmet labeled with the word “ham” without explanation. The caption reads “Watch out — he’s wearing the helmet.”[7] Subsequently, helmets emblazoned with words such as “meat” and “ham” appeared frequently. Other recurring gags from Peter Gallagher’s era include bubble gum that allows characters to float in the air, Bro Fish (fish who only say “bro”), a fire-breathing Chihuahua, robots, and unauthorized parodic cameo appearances by characters such as Garfield.[10]
***
Tartuffe, the spry wonder dog!
This just in: I got the offer and didn’t have to negotiate. $22/hr and Mon-Fri, 9-5. Haven’t looked over bennies, yet, but they’re there. Both this and the Peru Tribune, I didn’t have to ask and was given the top-end pay. And this is $5k/yr more than the Tribune. With regular hours! And less responsibility!
Start Mon, July 13. Wow. This is a biggun’. Funnily enough, updated 2015 Singapore dollars to 2026 USD, and I make the same ‘now’ as I was making then, which was by far my high-water mark.
This is a whole new ballpark. Me in an office. Huh. Wow. I had a great answer in the interview about my biggest strength, which ‘is’ my adaptability. I told ’em six months after graduating IU, I was in S Korea teaching English, having never taught nor studied Korean or teaching, or anything. And I got on just fine. See also: Well. The rest of my life. This is kinda what I *do.*
Hrm. Might take a bit to process. This is quite, quite, quite game changing. I best play well. Better news, I, oddly, was an All-Star catcher and lead-off hitter. Huh. Also oddly, this feels a much bigger shift than moving to Korea+. Hrm.
Resigned from the Tribune June, ‘23. → Phlebotomy, Walmart, Meijer (starting w gas stn!), with two remote testing contracts in between, along with some after-school day care. It’s been an odd three years. Big jump. Still gotta stick the landing, but wowza.
Hrm.
Mazel tov. You’ve come a long way through fire and flames. Treat yourself.
Congrats and keep us posted!
Don’t fuck it up.
I would suggest treating all females in the office as strictly off limits.
Listen to Dean.
They belong to the office managers anyway.
Well now, why would I treat them as anything but such? Feel like I’m gettin’ a bad rap here. Eh. I suppose I did ask out Cutie at Walmart. That I’ve done. IIRC that’s the only time I’ve done such, or even been flirtatious, and we were already friendly. And it was Walmart. Feels different. I’m remarkably well behaved. (Far too many missed opportunities.)
I freely admit, I have little clue of what I will be doing in real-estate, but I’ll be trained. Verifying ALTAs and Closing Documents. Huh. Another big bonus, this place is only a couple miles away. Such a strange world to paddle into. Hrm.
(Evan Phillips has been activated after Tommy John for LA. Dammit, Evan.)
Fair enough. I hope it works out for you.
Getting your notary cert might be something to look into. Could be useful there, and there is a niche freelance notary market.
@Dean: Oooh. That is interesting. Will keep in mind. First things first, obv. It feels strange walking into such an unknown environment. I would like to increase my ways to advance throughout this process.
Based on the 3.5 I’ve already charmed, I think I’m gonna fit it. (I presume that’s good.)
So do I, or near as. 😡
Best of luck.
Lovely goalkeeping.
The worst thing is that the terminally online left are going to be creaming themselves.
I was looking at Glibs and still don’t understand how the hell that fuck up happened. Just shambolic.
Embarrassing. They deserve to lose.
Jeez, the Belgians just ran down the field with the ball. Totally unopposed.
Insults for Belgians, from Monty Python:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrvXoin9NcA
LOL! They’re almost as bad as the French.
Nation of 12 million is handily beating a nation of 340 million. More kids enrolled in youth soccer than Little League but can’t find enough great players to beat some pissant country?
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
We would kill if baseball, football, and basketball did not exist.
And I suspect that “youth soccer” is not taken very seriously – more as a place to park your kids for awhile.
Per Rhy, fathers throw baseballs and footballs, and shoot hoops, with their kids. Culture is a thing.
Tonight, the USMNT’s defense was terrible. Their group was mediocre, so perhaps they were Peter Principled.
Baseball – we went out as kids, unstructured and played stickball.
Football – you just went out and played.
Basketball – same thing.
Hockey – we are making up ground and with some of the high-tech indoor roller hockey floors, kids are just going outside and doing it.
We don’t do that with soccer. That is why we fail. Most US borne players are brought up through the horribly managed youth soccer leagues about.
Youth scoccer two years ago with the boy.
The other parents took it seriously and holy cow my boy was massivly outclassed.
Aparently you have to start them at two and not six.
Was that Freese?
Of my NYC FC? 😔
Any good US GK ought to be playing in Europe. MLS is a joke.
It’s twue.
I see the other guy got bounced back to MLS too.
Oh Hell. The Sprouts won.
Ya know, in baseball, you’re *really* not supposed to rub it when you get hit by a pitch. Bad look. It best be unavoidable, if ya do. I don’t care so much about flopping to get a call, but exaggerating the amount of pain you’re in? Or are you really just that much of a bitch? Neither one are good looks, and in this sport, it’s actively encouraged through generations, apparently.
And damn. So many whistles. It’s a good example of ‘I like the idea of this game, but not how I’d like it played.’
Ideas, other than turn it into hockey: Well. Pretty much turn it into hockey – way smaller pitch and fewer players, hopefully with handball walls so you can kick the ball and bounce it back in. (Possibly a height on these walls, but a full dome’d also be cool.)
And fuck it, yeah! Add the culture of fighting over disputes instead of bitching about a poor wittle stubbed toey. Goal/goalie sitch to be determined after pitch size is. I’m kinda on to something, here.
Because the reward for doing such things is huge.
It is one of biggest flaws of the game.
Agreed. Low risk, high reward. Of course you should flop.
Hockey is undefeated for toughness.
The refs have done a fair amount of ignoring guys rolling around on the pitch in the games I’ve seen. My favorite is when a player writhes around like he’s been shot in the lower leg and pushed out of a moving car, the medical team comes out and sprays something on the guy’s leg, and the guy is good to go. I need a can of whatever that stuff is.
Some of this stuff?
The “magic spray”. Everyone makes fun of that and everything else they know is wrong with the game but nobody wants to do anything about it.
Is has gotten WAY worse in recent years.
Arena soccer is a thing but hardly anyone plays it outside the US IIRC. In fact, it was the only thing played by American players in the many years we didn’t have a proper league.
It is whistles in basketball that make it mostly unwatchable. And guys running halfway down the court without dribbling.
/slight French accent
“I think that this will be a reality check for the US”
Was that a dig?
Henri?
It is a bit odd to stock the commentator booths with a bunch of Euros trying to cheer us up. Did they run out of Americans?
Zlatan has been unexpectedly funny and positive towards the US team.
Yeah, he’s great.
Thierry is not as engaging. It’s just random those two showing up.
OK enough of this.
LOL the hotel cable TV guide says “Welcome, _my name_”.
I’ve worked at hotels where none of the TVs or ACs worked.
Ive probably stayed in them.
It’s morning in America, and the VCR is flashing 12:00.
Perhaps. Have you much experience with houses of ill repute located in downtown Buffalo?
Like, they ‘logged you in’ so the TV turns on to welcome you? I don’t find that shit welcoming. It’s just overt ‘WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE’ shit. I just wanna slink in/out.
Family joke about “Monica’s,” a real shitty hotel near Henderson, KY Dad took us to when we lost power for a few days one summer way back. I was too young to remember. Apparently rats in the walls, Mom complains. It’s become our stand-in joke for such quality.
I’m struggling to think of the worst hotel I’ve been in. I stayed in a Best Western outside Peru, IN for a week or two. I liked it. Room on the ground floor, motel-style, door opens to the world. I liked that place. The Indian dude up front once called me out for smoking (not tobacco) in the room. I started going out to my car. (This was before I got my vape.)
$6/night spot in Laos might be the answer, but I only went there after they kicked me out of the airport at midnight. My flight was in like eight hours! Well. They eventually caught me. (I really shouldn’t have done that.) That place was tiny, but meh. I’m a very easy man to please.
I’d be surprised if Tres didn’t.
No.
Get rid of social security and replace it with nothing.
Don’t add more to it to make investing even harder.
https://www.foxbusiness.com/politics/trump-looking-very-strongly-australia-style-retirement-system-taking-that-making-sharper
Sportsmanship from China:
https://x.com/Byron_Wan/status/1483666385125654532/photo/1
***
American basketball player Sonny Weems was subjected to racial abuse in China after his team Southern Tigers played against Liaoning Flying Leopards last Thur. In a viral video, fans of Flying Leopards repeatedly shouted the “N” word at Weems as he’s exiting the team bus.
***
I see stupid people…they’re everywhere…some of them don’t even know they’re dumb.
Asians have no sense of the third rails posed by American race relations that we are raised with from birth.
I am 100% they have their own verboten language that would catch English speakers off guard.
“WASHINGTON — An ex-girlfriend of scandal-scarred Graham Platner alleged that the Maine Senate hopeful broke into her home and raped her almost five years ago.
Maine resident Jenny Racicot came forward with the accusations to Politico, recalling the alleged rape in graphic detail and providing corroboration.”
And NOW Dems rescind their support. I sincerely wish Leftoids would get angry they’re being played and realize they’ve BEEN played for quite a while. ‘But the Senate seat was VITAL to defeating Trump’s Fascist takeover!’ And a weird, a probable rapist and pro-Nazi is the best you’ve got to defeat this supposed tyranny? Play anything cuz defeating Trump (in any way) is the most important thing ever?
See also: The elder abuse rolling Biden out there w fucking Harris as your backup plan.
Uh. Whoops. Terrible for your brand. The illiterate socialists you’ve graduated and trained are getting a bit nippy, ain’t they?
I did not know – that is shocking.
She must really be actually believable and who knows what else is lurking in his past.
News is reporting that Iran decided to start Tuesday by shooting at two vessels in the Strait. They hit the engine room of one and the crew is mustered in case they need to abandon ship. No word yet if they hit the LPG tanker. I imagine they didn’t otherwise that entire part of the Gulf would know.