IFLA: The “Still Early Fall” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of September 13

by | Sep 13, 2026 | IFLA | 68 comments


The problem with casting these on an “as needed” basis is that sometimes I discover things that would have (potentially) been really useful to know a while back. Like this week: It a very auspicious time to get married, especially Monday, Tuesday and Friday. Other than that, the stars don’t have a whole lot of advice.

Virgo: The Moon reversed – Instability, inconstancy, silence, lesser degrees of deception and error.

Libra: 5 of Cups reversed – News, alliances, affinity, consanguinity, ancestry, return, false projects.

Scorpio: The Fool – Folly, mania, extravagance, intoxication, delirium, frenzy, bewrayment. 

Sagittarius: 6 of Coins – Presents, gifts, gratification, attention, vigilance, present prosperity.

Capricorn: This card printed without a face.

Aquarius: King of Wands – Dark man, friendly, countryman, generally married, honest and conscientious. The card always signifies honesty.

Pisces: 10 of Cups reversed – Repose of the false heart, indignation, violence.

Aries: Ace of Wands – Creation, invention, enterprise, the powers which result in these; principle, beginning, source; birth, family, origin, money, fortune, inheritance

Taurus: Strength reversed – Despotism, abuse of power, weakness, discord, disgrace.

Gemini: Justice reversed – Law in all its departments, legal complications, bigotry, bias, excessive severity.

Leo: 4 of Cups reversed – Novelty, presage, new instruction, new relations.

About The Author

Not Adahn

Not Adahn

Despite all my rage, I am still just an impeccably dressed rat.

68 Comments

  1. The Late P Brooks

    It a very auspicious time to get married

    Can I get a Ukrainian mail order bride shipped overnight?

    • Threedoor

      You should have your pick of them considering the last four years.

      I bet more of them want out cause rumor has it the women are about to start getting drafted.

  2. The Late P Brooks

    Sagittarius: 6 of Coins – Presents, gifts, gratification, attention, vigilance, present prosperity.

    Sounds like I oughtta gird my loins.

  3. Sean

    Uhh…where’s mine?

    I’d like to speak to a manager!

    • Gender Traitor

      Don’t be so crabby!

  4. SarumanTheWoefullyIgnorant

    “Leo: 4 of Cups reversed – Novelty, presage, new instruction, new relations.”

    Not applicable.

  5. The Late P Brooks

    Poster boy

    With candidates like Texas’s Democratic Senate nominee James Talarico calling for the “dismantling” of capitalism as an “oppressive system,” Newsom finds himself needing to cater to the mob. He has now declared that “nostalgia is not working” while adding that “capitalism as we know it doesn’t work either.”

    He should know. The poor fellow barely has two nickels to rub together. His entire existence is a desperate struggle to make ends meet.

    The American “grand experiment” has been a dismal failure in its entirety.

    • EvilSheldon

      He’s right, you know. Capitalism as we know it doesn’t work.

      So maybe let’s try capitalism as it’s supposed to be – that is, without the rent-seeking, regulatory capture, transfer payments, and state corruption.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Your newsletter, subscribed.

    • rhywun

      That’s rising star, totally not a weirdo James Talarico to you. Communism is what plants Democrats crave now.

  6. Threedoor

    What do the stars say about my wife accepting my new bride?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Now I’m pondering a Muslim LDS mashup…

      • Threedoor

        I can see a Nation of Islam LDS mashup.

      • Mojeaux

        Now I’m pondering a Muslim LDS mashup…

        LOLno

        Book of Mormon: The Musical

        Church response on Times Square: “You’ve seen the musical, now read the book.”

        Any given Mormon’s response: *yawn*

        ======================

        “We made a cartoon of Muhammed!”

        Any given Muslim’s response: We will kill you. And now you are dead.

        ======================

        We are not the same.

      • Threedoor

        Kill you, and take your wives and sheep.

  7. The Late P Brooks

    Those wily Finns

    Trump’s memorandum incorporates several aspects of the Finland model. It requires that foreign shipbuilders building U.S. military craft establish a robust presence within the U.S., building shipyards and hiring U.S. workers even as they build ships abroad. They must also license their “proprietary shipbuilding techniques and technologies” to U.S. shipyards and create U.S. supply chains “for construction and maintenance of all ships” they build in the U.S.

    That sounds more like the Chinese model.

    • Threedoor

      Why are they building ice breakers?

      I had thought that Al Gore solved the need for them.

  8. Evan from Evansville

    “Taurus: Strength reversed – Despotism, abuse of power, weakness, discord, disgrace.”
    —–
    Okay, okay, we’re all out of sorts, here. I’m starting my new professional quest tomorrow, fairly well timed after getting let go from escrow processing Aug. 3. As of now, I’ve not been told about my background screening or drug test, only the latter is of concern, cuz I take Rx “Amphetamine Salts” every day and the lab hasn’t called to check on anything.

    So I’m technically still “pending,” though I’m not too concerned. (I’m not NOT concerned, but *shrug*) Now, if they were to call off my upcoming employment, today’s roll of the bones would click more, but we’re not thinking about such now.)

    I’m kinda thinking I should get new shoes. Don’t need ’em, but ‘want’ tied in as well. With my now 14 and 12yo hips replacements, that really are still doing remarkably well, I’m (nearly) all-in on modern slip-on tech, Skecher’s, so far. They’re comfy and no bending down! Not bad lookin’ either, now. Profound victories. (Well. Tiny ones, but accept the ones that come.) Many tiny decisions to make.

    Dear TV: No, I don’t want to know about Baby Safety University.

    • Threedoor

      Sketchers.
      Trendy in 2000
      Old people shoes in 2025.

    • Ted S.

      Do you know that you are indeed supposed to show up at the office?

      • Evan from Evansville

        *stairs narrow*

        When have I implied I wouldn’t be? I’m still “Pending,” so I’m told, and I’ll still be there bright, early tomorrow morn. I’m torn on wearing my brown ‘nice’ shoes, or my darker, made for walkin’ slip-in sneakers. I’m guessing I’ll be sitting most of the day with paperwork, orientation vids, etc, but they may want me to walk along and shadow to start. *shrug*

        Shoes I’m eyeing are kinda in the middle, ‘my’ generation kinda accurately getting ‘mullet’ shoes right. Top for business, bottom for pleasure, eh? Or is that those in the anal persuasion? (May add UCS, here.) https://www.skechers.com/skechers-slip-ins-burkett—lonzo/199252073464.html $85 in store. I think discounts can be had.

      • RAHeinlein

        Where the comfortable slip-on Skechers – not a problem. At this point, unless there is a formal dress code, even S&P 100 corporate often where sneakers even at higher levels.

      • Gustave Lytton

        With dress pants or a suit. 🙄

      • Evan from Evansville

        Ya see RA, apparently there is a dress code and they were gonna send it to me. This has not yet been done, so I’m kinda makin’ shit up as I go.

        Am I concerned they haven’t gotten back with me? Well. Not really, but yes. Background check will be fine, THC isn’t tested, and my Rx Amphetamine Salts likely will, but they’re surely used to that. And I *do* have an Rx.

        So. Mostly muddying things up further in my own head, am I. Meh. First day working in a new place is always goofy. Gotta remind myself I’ve kinda done this many times, in much more difficult environments, continents, etc. I’m always okay once I’m in the batters box, but I hate waitin’ on deck. (‘He keeps foulin’ ’em off! Been a really long at-bat! I got reservations, man!’)

    • Sean

      I tried on the slip ons. Yech. Not for me.

      • R.J.

        I like Olukais. They fit my twisted , broken feet quite well.

      • Evan from Evansville

        What do y’all *do* in shoes that make ’em uncomfortable? Running? Rock climbing? How does normal use make shoes uncomfortable? Dress shoes are uncomfortable, we all know, but they look good. Trade off. Slip in ‘sneakers’ are just as comfy as any other, just not as tight. (Kinda a win, unless you’re running or rock climbing… See my previous quandary.)

        Y’all have goofy feet, I suppose. My feet should be crafted in marble. I’m settling for sneak’s for sneakin’, cuz stompin’ ain’t polite. Rejoice!

        (I may not buy shoes before tomorrow. May depend on how long the Cubs game goes. Curious, this.)

      • Threedoor

        Stand
        Walk
        Don’t have feet shaped like skies.
        Have bits of bone where they are not supposed to be.

        It’s amazing how narrow so many shoes are.

      • Sean

        I’m a race car driving ninja. Floppy shoes suck.

      • Ted S.

        What shape is the sky?

      • Threedoor

        I spel like Government schol.

      • Evan from Evansville

        The sky is the shape your perception allows or you wish to imagine. *big vape rip continues*

        I think I’m gonna buy ’em just as a little, for fun ritual. ‘Dressing up’ is an oddly ‘important’ part of getting my Game Face on, in my own head. Might as well prime those buttons. Look part, be part; fake ’til ya make it, those little things.

        I’ll pick up some food while I’m over there, likely.
        Whoops. Thought I sent this 30min earlier.

  9. The Late P Brooks

    Speaking of weaponized emotionalism

    “Convict Clancy. Also Repeal the 19th Amendment!” one user posted on X.

    “The female jurors in the Lindsay Clancy trial are speaking out about their deliberations and disagreements with the sole male holdout. The more they speak the better they make the case for repealing the 19th Amendment,” another user posted.

    Cooke warned that calls to strip women of the right to vote, largely coming from accounts identifying as conservative, risk alienating female voters from the Republican Party.

    “When you have these fringe activists online talking about repealing the 19th Amendment or alienating women, it really doesn’t help,” Cooke said.

    But when you have nutcase women tying themselves in knots to excuse a grotesque crime you have to take them seriously.

    • rhywun

      “Shitting all over men and trying to turn them into women risks alienating male voters from the Democratic Party.”

    • Evan from Evansville

      Many questions, do I have. Most importantly, how dare they not get a pic after she was detained upon landing.

      “…the lead flight attendant reported that a female passenger in seat 9D had completely undressed and engaged in indecent acts in view of nearby passengers. .. [The flight was] nearly two hours behind its scheduled departure time..

      “It remains unclear what specific measures cabin crew took during the flight to manage the disturbance.” *mischievous face affixed* Ya huh! Ya see. She simply couldn’t wait! That’s why I’m aboard, to assuage matters. Depending on her– proportions, natch.

      • Threedoor

        Right?!

        Pics or it didn’t happen.

    • SarumanTheWoefullyIgnorant

      Obviously she was so hot that using a fire extinguisher on her might be applicable.

  10. kinnath

    Apparently there are consequences to researching history of a 55 year old classic steel bike on the internet.

    So, now I have a relatively rare and collectable bike in pristine condition coming from Germany in 3 to 4 weeks.

    The wife asks: “are you going to just fix up the old one and sell it then?”

    The only rational response is “of course not”.

    • kinnath

      I’ll fix the old one up and ride both of them. Duh.

      • UnCivilServant

        At the same time?

        Interesting feat.

      • Fourscore

        If it doesn’t come with training wheels I’m not interested.

      • kinnath

        interesting feet

      • Gustave Lytton

        The tweakers around here often ride two bikes at a time.

      • Evan from Evansville

        ‘Cause these damned blue-collared tweekers
        They’re runnin’ this here town!

        /heavy bass slappin’

    • R C Dean

      The wife asks: “are you going to just fix up the old one and sell it then?”

      I don’t think she was really asking you a question, there.

      • kinnath

        Well . . . . I did tell her about the new bike right after she explained the awesome deal she made on the brand new thousand dollar electric spinner she just brought into the house.

    • Threedoor

      I bought a 1961 German bike at a yard sale for $5 a few years ago. It’s pretty cool but missing a couple of the origional tools and headlight. I started looking for an origional headlight for it just for it to be complete and then came to my senses and shoved it in the corner with the other old bikes.

  11. Shpip

    Repose of the false heart, indignation, violence.

    I get to pay my quarterly estimated taxes to the feds on Tuesday, so I’m a little indignant. I’m only doing it because they’ll use violence against me if I don’t.

    • Threedoor

      Don’t remind me. I ‘got’ to do that as well.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    I’m suffering from an overdose of righteous indignation.

    Naomi Klein has another featured screed at the Guardian. Holy shit that woman is angry. How do people like that manage to put one foot in front of the other? I got nowhere near the end and I’m exhausted.

    • Evan from Evansville

      Worth the wait.

  13. Mojeaux

    As of today, I have been married to my husband (first, only) for 24 years. 10/10 would marry again.

    • SarumanTheWoefullyIgnorant

      Congratulations. 35+ years with my wife and never regretted it.

    • Threedoor

      Nicely done.

      I’m coming up on 20 here in a little over two months. Time flies.

    • Raven Nation

      Woohoo. We got to 10 this year. I’m still moderately surprised she puts up with me.

    • Gender Traitor

      Mazel tov! 👏😃

    • Evan from Evansville

      Congrats! Remarkably impressive. I think my parents’ 50th is sometime soon. Colin and SiL for.. 21 years? Damn.

      Hope ya got something special to celebrate with.

      • Mojeaux

        The Alchemy exhibit yesterday and unfortunately subpar Mexican food at a new-to-us place.

        He was happy I asked him to come with me, although I didn’t think he’d like it because he doesn’t like the art gallery or symphony, but he did and I was happy he came and he super-enjoyed it and so we were both very happy.

        Except the food.

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      Congratulations!

      We rolled over #54 last month.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Huzzah!

      We celebrated 15, would not get 10/10 from both parties but we’re still chainedhitched.

    • Contrarian P

      Congratulations!

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