Thursday Afternoon Links of Mope

by | Oct 29, 2026 | Daily Links, Florida | 74 comments

Man, the Tampa Bay Rays sure did shit up the World Series, didn’t they. With the exception of a Game 4 that they more survived than thrived, the difference between the best and second best team in baseball was huge. Well, maybe once they get over to Tampa, they’ll finally do it. I suspect that like the Houston Oilers, they will be in a different state before they win their first title. Let’s see if we can find a little cheer in the links.

Florida Man, 2:53am, no apparent theft… I’m going to go way out on a limb and guess alcohol and/or drugs factored into this.

It’s not gay if you don’t make eye contact. You can’t tell me they didn’t know

Looks like next year is going to be a good year for heroin.

Man, this seems like a complex relationship. Florida deputy shoots himself in strip club parking lot, after pointing gun at (female) deputy who accompanied him. One wonders if alcohol might have been involved.

In honor of their announced retirement

About The Author

Brett L

Brett L

Brett set out to find America, the real America, the America of strip malls and serial killers, of butthole waxing and kelp smoothies, of cocaine and maggots. He sought it in the most American part of America—Florida: swamp gas and fever dreams, where love arrives on a rickety boat and leaves when it doesn't have the money for its fourth abortion. Oh, where has Brett gone? He’s drinking at the neck of America’s wang, chewing its foreskin and working its shaft. Brett is becoming legend. Brett can never die. Brett can never die. Brett is America, facedown in his own patriotic puke: the red his blood, the white his stomach lining, and the cold, cold blue his gas station slushie, spiked with coconut rum and tetracycline.

74 Comments

  1. Threedoor

    There Sugar Free and I were.
    Holding hands inside the popcorn bucket.

    • R.J.

      Takes double fisting to a whole new level.

      • Timeloose

        So now you can DP your PC while thumping your Mr. P

    • Tonio

      There’s a “Sandworm Thumper” with a “working Thumper design” (that’s the device used by the Freman to pound the desert sand and attract giant sandworms)

      So, a vibrator. LOL

      BTW, is “Freman” the singular of “Fremen?”

      • Not Adahn

        People called Fremani, they go the sandworm?

      • bacon-magic

        OH MY.

      • rhywun

        Fremyn.

    • R.J.

      Patrick Stewart died?

      • Not Adahn

        Isn’t that Brian Blessed?

      • UnCivilServant

        He delivered the line originally.

        I just find it useful at times.

    • Not Adahn

      Locutus has joined the great Collective.

    • Necron 99

      Sad day. Fly high, Captain Picard.

    • Gender Traitor

      😢️
      As iconic as his portrayal of Picard was, I was even more fond of his role on American Dad! It was the kind of off-the-wall character an actor can take on when he’s accomplished enough to no longer have to give a shit.

      • Nephilium

        He was great on American Dad! and Robot Chicken. He was enough of a geek himself that he wrote the forward to one of my Transmetroplitan graphic novels, saying that he always wanted to play Spider, and knew that Spider would hate the idea.

      • Sean

        Did you ever watch Blunt Talk? He was great in it.

    • Beau Knott

      Truly one of the greats. He will be missed.

    • rhywun

      Oldtimers? Shit. RIP

    • rhywun

      Was the “Muslim” thing a red herring – I wonder if anyone can vouch for anyone else?

  2. The Late P Brooks

    “You’d be sending kids to school in the dark,” said South Dakota Sen. Mike Rounds.

    Don’t their snowmobiles have headlights?

    • Tonio

      Alaska, Canada, and Scotland laugh at you, Senator.

    • Threedoor

      Shit up senator dumbass.

      DST forever.

      I have little kids this 72 year old does not.

      • kinnath

        Fuck DST 😉

      • Nephilium

        I care not for which way it stays, just stop changing it twice a year.

  3. Not Adahn

    My favorite Stewart line:

    “Like a wild ass in the desert, go I forth to my work.”

  4. Plinker762

    Devil’s three-way pocket pussy?

    • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

      if you and a friend are making an Eifel Tower with that, you are doing life wrong.

      so wrong

    • Aloysious: Evil Dark Lord of Wonderful Smooches

      That’s explosive news.

  5. rhywun

    From the poppy tale:

    poor farmers have no alternatives to feed their families

    How about… planting food?

    • DrOtto

      That sounds like smack talk to me.

    • Aloysious: Evil Dark Lord of Wonderful Smooches

      thank heavens. nobody linked to that horrible pop chik.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        Rik Astley?

  6. The Late P Brooks

    Resistance is futile.

  7. The Late P Brooks

    Shoo. G’way!

    A massive shark spooked surfers off Pismo Beach along California’s Central Coast Wednesday when it swam close enough to splash one surfer.

    Video shared with FOX Weather showed the large shark swimming directly at a man on a longboard before darting away and splashing him.

    Eek! Video in link.

    • creech

      Mr. Wonderful not interested in investing in longboard business.

    • Gdragon

      “The person who took the video, identified the predator as a great white shark.”
      ————–

      That sounds a bit insensitive, how did the shark identify itself? Maybe it was harmless.

      • Aloysious: Evil Dark Lord of Wonderful Smooches

        I ring the gong of racism.

        It’s Shark of Pallor, not Great hWite Shark.

      • R.J.

        Better to call it a Great White Shark than a Lame Beige Shark.

      • UnCivilServant

        Great White Loan Shark?

    • rhywun

      The surfer was heard to reply to the cameraman after filming ended, “Go ‘way, baitin’.”

    • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

      Ha! that is where I am from-ish

  8. The Late P Brooks

    Maybe it was harmless.

    Any self respecting Australian shark would have bitten that guy in half.

    • RAHeinlein

      I think Carney is jockeying to be replacement – hence the Canada a special member of the EU nonsense.

      • Sensei

        Oh that would be a hoot! See how well things worked in GB!

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        its already a clown show, a Carney won’t hurt it any more.

    • B.P.

      “Subscribe to Reuters to continue reading.”

      It must be tough out there.

  9. Aloysious: Evil Dark Lord of Wonderful Smooches

    Music is good. Psalm 69 is a banger.

    That being said, ol’ Al is looking really rough these days.

    • Nephilium

      Recently read he’s announced his retirement (as well as that of Ministry).

    • rhywun

      We’ve been clear that policy shapes this market.

      Call it the Child Cobalt Miner Protection Act.

      • UnCivilServant

        YAMI – the Youth Artisinal Minerology Initiative.

    • RAHeinlein

      The WSJ had a piece about new EV sales being down but USED selling like gangbusters (to that point Carvana earnings were excellent). Apparently, a lot of people purchased during the last round of credits but didn’t really “like” the EV.

  10. The Late P Brooks

    Fair’s fair

    “If we can prove that you’re not paying your fair share, and to me, that’s pretty basic. If you’re a billionaire and you’re paying at a lower tax rate than a firefighter or a teacher or a nurse, you’re not paying your fair share,” Becerra said.

    Becerra rebuffed the idea of taxing assets, which he noted is in Prop 40.

    “Having done tax policy for over 20 years in Congress, you want to make sure it’s something that’s fair, predictable, and stable,” he said.

    You don’t want those geese to pack up their golden eggs and fly away. Then you’ve really got trouble.

    I think I just saw something like three per cent of taxpayers (teh evil billionaires) contribute nearly half of the state’s tax receipts. Those skinflints.

  11. R.J.

    Alright,
    Alright,
    Alright!
    Gird them loins, Glibbies, it’s time for the GlibFlicks Halloween Extravaganza!

    What’s in it? You gotta open it to see!

    I jest. I wouldn’t leave you in suspense. Tonight, we have SEVEN films to choose from! Yes! SEVEN!

    Our double feature is “All Hallow’s Eve” and “The Blob (1988).”

    And I added enough bonus content to get you through the weekend! More movies! A short feature! And more! So grab a beverage and I will see you at 7:00 CST!

      • R.J.

        I won’t lie, when I saw that short feature I thought of you. That is something you might write.

      • R.J.

        Oh staaahhp.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    We’ve been clear that policy shapes this market. Killing the $7,500 credit is the main reason US EV sales collapsed. Consumers didn’t suddenly decide they hate EVs. So we’re all for bringing incentives back.

    Are we sure about that?

  13. The Late P Brooks

    With concerns that the state’s gas tax may soon be unreliable to fund roads and bridges, California officials are set to complete a report by the end of this year studying the possibility of a tax for drivers based on the number of miles they travel in their vehicle.

    When asked if, as governor, he would support the new fee, Becerra said “Everything should be on the table.”

    “Our roads aren’t maintained just by some magic wand. We have to pay for it. Do I want to tax people more than necessary? No. Should we pay a gas tax? Yes. Should people who drive electric vehicles, who don’t need gas, pay for those roads to be repaired as well? Absolutely.”

    Pay and pay and pay some more.

    • rhywun

      So pay a mileage tax and get rid of the gas tax but that has some obvious problems. Not “everything” has to be on the table, though.

  14. Trigger Hippie

    *flips through the old people channels, stops on Three’s Company for a minute*

    Ya know what? I would’ve banged peak Joyce Dewitt.

    • rhywun

      And then you hit a dozen Medicare commercials.

      • R.J.

        Yep. I just saw a damn campaign ad for some douche in Michigan. WTF? I am in Texas.

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