“Dad, all the women have their boobs out. And the villain looks like a giant penis head. You have to post this! The Glibs will love it!”
Truer words were never spoken. Now, raise a hand, everyone who has heard of Gandahar! Anyone? Maybe one person. The main reason this is so forgotten is that it was a French film, based on Jean-Pierre Andrevon‘s 1969 novel Les Hommes-machines contre Gandahar (The Machine-Men versus Gandahar). French stuff is not popular here in the states, even if it was directed by René Laloux, who made the stoner classic Fantastic Planet. This was redubbed into English at tremendous expense by everyone’s favorite pervert Harvey Weinstein, who normally crapped gold! Look at the star power in this list:
- Glenn Close as Ambisextra
- Christopher Plummer as Metamorphis
- Jennifer Grey as Airelle
- John Shea as Sylvain
- Penn Jillette and Teller as Chief of the Deformed and Octum, respectively
- Bridget Fonda as Head/Historian
- Paul Shaffer as Optiflow
- Earle Hyman as Maxum and Chief of the Deformed
- David Johansen as Shayol
- Terrence Mann as The Collective Voice
- Kevin O’Rourke and Ray Owens as Metal Men
That is some expensive dubbing! And I only listed part of the crew. But did this pay off for ‘Merican audiences? Any guesses? The answer is “No.” From Brave AI:
The 1988 US theatrical release of Gandahar was a shortened, redubbed cut titled Light Years, which grossed $370,698 domestically against a production budget of $5.5 million.
That is painful! Overall, this does get good reviews from IMDB members, if they bothered to see it. See example below, from DonaldDooD:
René Laloux never did make another movie as intriguingly bizarre as Fantastic Planet. But Gandahar comes close. It provides not only a sci-fi world, but one with no relation to our planet Earth. Its culture, environments, and fauna are quite foreign.
Sadly, Gandahar doesn’t have the artistic tone to make it truly stand out. Fantastic Planet’s use of color, stop motion, and music emphasized the alien feeling. Gandahar doesn’t particularly amaze in any of these areas. It has more focus on plot, but it isn’t very strong. The protagonist has little character to him, and some elements were cheesy. The robots look like they came from the 50s, and the “rebellion” at the end has been seen dozens of times after Star Wars.
Still, there are some cool, weird scenes and concepts in the movie. If you don’t expect something as great as Fantastic Planet, its a fun distraction.
Fair review. He omits that the evil mastermind is a giant penis head, and that most of the women are topless. That is important to know. Overall this is short and entertaining and makes a great movie night for post-election Thursday. Is California done counting votes yet? Is Texas blue? I am sure all of this will be topics in the comments. Remember, there are no rules on Thursdays! Bust out the first comment with rage over elections, etc… Or talk about your garden.
So watch, or don’t. Everything is voluntary! Next week, the movies continue. Not sure which ones yet. It’s been a hell of a summer and fall so far, and this is keeping me from making a solid list.
Before:
Tour De France with 46 yo Rustoleum Paint
After:
Oh no! The links are missing!
That cast is ridonkulous.
About a half hour in that is a very fair review.
“Dad, all the women have their boobs out. And the villain looks like a giant penis head. You have to post this! The Glibs will love it!”
Excellent. Diving in.
I hope that is a real quote. Gives me some faith that our future is in good hands.
Screwed that up
Before:
Tour De France with 46 yo Rustoleum Paint
After:
Tour De France Powder Coated in Illusion Red Velvet
Turned out much darker that the image at the website
https://www.prismaticpowders.com/shop/powder-coating-colors/PMB-10729/illusion-red-velvet
But, it is quite striking in real life. Can’t wait to see it in full sunlight.
The color selected looks great – hard to see how the final product looks in real life.
Nice. You need some glamour shots for your next post.
That is a nice color.
The decals that go on the bike are from the “foil era”. So, ink on silver foil. That is going to so very fucking sharp on that dark color.
Nobody puts Airelle in the corner.
I forgot and thought you were talking about a somehow ‘redesigned’ France that looked really cool. That seemed unlikely. For the real pics: That new paint is subtle and very nice. Fun project continues. (Also, that bike scares me. The way I rode bikes as a kid, those skinny-wheeled bikes would’ve bucked me off, one way or another. Often, user-error, but those bikes have no give to ’em.)
Looks good
“Gandahar doesn’t particularly amaze in any of these (visual effects) areas. It has more focus on plot, but it isn’t very strong.” Ha! That’s very funny.
“He omits that the evil mastermind is a giant penis head, and that most of the women are topless.” That last part is a huuuuge omission. Giant penis-headed evil mastermind?! Pssh. Look who we’ve got for president! *slaps thigh, massive applause from my family and more*
(What bothers me about that joke? One, it’s remarkably unoriginal. It’s childish, but I repeat myself. The cheers show piety to the team you know to root for, so laugh at the thing that should be laughed at. Gotta be part of the IYKYK crowd, ya know?
Fantastic Planet should be on streaming. No idea how anyone make money not having it on streaming.
Most likely it is tied up in licensing hell, like “Rocky and Bullwinkle.”
Hey Rocky, watch me pull this IP out of my ass!
Wrong ass.
The voice cast tells me they really liked the original flick. Some of them have titties, too, so that can’t be the only reason, though it could be.
I bought two pork loins.
I’m girding them.
Checking tit status: still flappy from Tuesday.
Mine are calm but flappy. Gonna get some GLP-1 and work on that.
I prefer subs.
Even in anime where it really dosent matter. I’m weird like that.
I do too. But I deal with the hand I am dealt.
I’ve been dealt a hand with a bunch of rows and jokers.
Wait what?
Weird plant pod baby insect thing gets picked up by a blue naked chick who starts nursing it…
I have seen part of this and a couple of previews.
AND NOW…
You will watch at least thirty minutes of it and then run away.
I will watch the rest of it this weekend.
Nice gif, R.J. – every once in awhile when I am scrolling through comments I’ll come across your avatar and still be startled.
I gotta give that old mask some airtime before it crumbles. It’s from 1992.
Ambisexterity would be a useful skill to have.
Isn’t it one of the alphabet people?
Was anyone involved in this film involved with either the Heavy Metal magazine or movie?
That’s a good bet. Very similar animation styles to a few of the shorts in the movie. And French sci fi was big back then. Very possible. Tater, any thoughts? I am a tab underpowered for research on the phone tonight.
Ok, Brave AI came through:
“Philippe Caza, the production designer and character artist for Gandahar, was a veteran of the French comics anthology Métal Hurlant, which was republished in the US as Heavy Metal magazine.
Director René Laloux initially discussed adapting Gandahar with Moebius (Jean Giraud), another legendary artist associated with Métal Hurlant and the 1981 Heavy Metal film, though Moebius ultimately did not work on the final production. “
Makes sense
Les maîtres du temps 1982 animated feature film directed by René Laloux
On archive.org and youtube
I need to see the one in archive. I feel it was probably better without American editing.
I’m bonding out Butters on the 13th. He is reportedly a bit…messy. On top of everyone avoiding him like he’s a little monster.
Can I point out just how stupid and ass-cover-y it is to hold that dog for 10 days in isolation when it’s legally possible for him to ‘quarantine’ at home (this is all nominally about rabies, that’s the legal pretext). Whatever issues the dog has they aren’t going to be helped by being locked in a cage for 10 days and kept away from his person while being surrounded by a bunch of people who think he’s a dangerous threat.
The fuckers didn’t even know if he was hurt at first. They just assumed they’d get the OK to put him down so not worth treating him and wasting resources.
I don’t want to complain because it’s a mini-miracle if I get him back without any stupid designations attached in this state but like fuck what purpose does this serve outside some people covering their ass?
I don’t even know how getting him out of that place will work. He’ll need a bath, but I can’t see any way in good conscious I can make the first thing we do together something he despises.
Maybe I’ll give the little fucker some surf and turf. He loves shrimp and steak.
A) if he needs a bath, he gets a bath
B) He’ll be over the moon when he sees you around the corner.
C) not to diminish trauma and experiences, but fur balls are general resilient and get over things. Usually
I had never heard of this one. I may gear it up later after my exciting night shift at work.
It has themes of individualism, AI, and time travel. It’s not bad.
“Is California done counting votes yet?”
No. It’s still validating signatures on mail in ballots. And they still have a week to be delivered. I went to the courthouse in Oakland to see how it’s done. It will be part of my upcoming post on my experience working the election.
I have been…tuned out this week. Even more than normal of late. I’m somewhat skeptical that black voter turnout really rivaled 2008 levels in a midterm election.
Regardless it’s a bit hard to just dismiss this genuine blue wave as just shenanigans. This was a referendum on Trump 2.0 and he fucked up royally. The guy pissed on his entire domestic agenda to (poorly) play world statesman. He lost all of his political capital even before this election fucking around in Iran. And there’s almost nothing of real lasting value to point to in 2 years of near complete GOP control of the federal government.
Yep.
@Bro- Well said. My further cents: If DeSantis or Rubio or Red in general listen and follow through on this domestic agenda? Trump will be known for the boisterous NYC fuck he’s always been, but the one needed to slap Team Woke to bring *some* fight to their child genital mutilation agenda, etc.
It was necessary, and I think (or really hope?) many have been shown they don’t have to sit and quietly take the cultural bullshit. Even when Blue’s soon back in charge, I think people will continue to be outraged at the Democratic plan for child leering. People needed Trump to show it was okay to stand up to the Wokistanis. *shrug*
Outrageous.
Mail-in is complete shit to begin with. but if they’re going to pretend that this is an acceptable way to vote they need to set the deadline so that the counting can be finished on election day. Your lazy ass couldn’t be bothered to put the mail in the slot a week in advance? Sorry not sorry.
*would subscribe to newsletter*
Of all the shit this state does at least the law says that all ballots must be received at the county offices no late than 7p HST on election day.
I hate giving them credit for anything, but if you all going to mandate mail in voting, then this is reasonable.
That’s surely not enough time to count them on “Election Day”.
If we did that then we couldn’t watch Nithya Raman’s vote count continue to increase over Karen Bass.
I tapped out. It wants to be Heavy Metal but there wont ever be another if only for the soundtrack.
Plus I just paid a bunch of Jugsy’s bills (dont ask) and Im not in a good mood.
Current titty status has changed from calm a few hours ago to “deeply annoyed”. More at myself than anyone else.
I shall seek council in more beer.
Sorry to hear it.
Or counsel.
w/e
Would it help if I posted Blubberella next week or something?
/quickly googles
Maybe a little small for my taste but I can work with it.
https://media.gettyimages.com/id/131779122/photo/actresses-lindsay-hollister-and-kirsten-lea-arrive-to-the-after-party-for-walk-a-mile-in-my.jpg?s=612×612&w=0&k=20&c=Uxy3jS1ysqIQX8j8l4RabrttI6w2Hu1usAhIiMV7E-s=
“Safiya Kaygin is a/an actor known for: BloodRayne 3: The Third Reich and Blubberella.”
She’s German. Would heil.
That’s two votes. You deserve a movie, Tres.
“Blubberella”
🤣😂
Yes!!! Uwe Boll is the Ed Wood of our generation. Hopelessly terrible at his craft to the point of brilliance. He also challenges and boxes his film critics. Plays Hitler in that film. He’s completely off his rocker. I love it.
“Brave warrior: You must kill the penis brain with this Jalapeño of Death.”
It came with a holster.
The best jalapeños do!
No idea how the deformed turned into giant crab robots, but they are way over doing the music.
They didn’t, it was another defense attempt from the topless Gandaharians. Really poor editing made it look otherwise.
OK, I see they are back now.
1980’s polyphonic synths were the new hotness, but it’s 40 years later.
All the kids are into bitchip music now.
I love chiptunes. There is lots of (semi-)recent interesting and fun work being done in that area.
This was different. I agree with the review. Not much of a plot. I liked the visuals. But, I’m a Heavy Metal fan.
It had some great themes going in that are pretty relevant today. I am going to hunt down the full French version on Archive to see how badly the Americans wrecked it.
That could be interesting.
Lord of the Flies is the worst novel of the 20th century.
Change my mind.
Behold.
https://a.co/d/08aPvyUc
I thought you people ate cats. Like Alf.
I liked it. I don’t remember if it was assigned or referred to in class, but I read it when I was 14~15. I felt bad for the pudgy conch kid. It’s a fun idea for a What If civilization, and it obviously resonated, however so, still talked about some 80yrs later. Mission accomplished, *searches* William Golding.
I don’t remember the writing style or voice. Most assuredly, I liked reading about kids making their own clan from ‘scratch.’ The Simpsons take on it was *at* the end of their Good era.
Yeah we had to read it I guess in 5th grade? I liked it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Enough to finish it unlike much of our assigned books. (I loathed English class.)
I liked the TV version: https://youtu.be/PAs9ftEx77M?si=cilwmDHg1CR8QTJI&t=103
Of the ones I’ve read, I vote for Time Enough For Love. Terrible book.
Ready Player One so far for 21st Century. Awful. The Spielberg film was a bit better.
Fantastic Planet scarred me as a child, watching it on HBO and not realizing I was too young for it.
I thought surely the word Gandahar had to be a deliberate mashup of Gandamak (see Battle of) and Kandahar, both famously Afghani, but evidently not.
So I assume James Cameron saw Gandahar before coming up with Avatar?
I just assume he has seen every movie ever made.