“SWO Life – more like No Life Amirite?” – Part 1

by | Jul 27, 2021 | Military, National Security, Rant | 281 comments

“SWO Life – more like No Life Amirite?”

or

“A Sailors Life For Me” Part 1

Stand by for heavy rolls.

 

Why can’t the Navy keep its surface warfare officers? (navytimes.com)

Between this article and a handful of other articles and reports I’ve come across in the past few weeks (links to come), I thought it was time for a squid to enlighten you land lubbers on how the real Navy works.  Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash (don’t get me excited), etc.

Note: the original GAO report referenced in this article and others is worth a read if you want a detailed deep dive on the numbers.  The PDF is about 180 pages, but the primary report is only the first 60 pages and includes a lot of white space and graphics.

For the record, I got permission to break my Army reserve contract to apply for Navy OCS (Officer Candidate School) in late 2008/early 2009 – and attended OCS in Oct 2009.  I originally only planned on applying for Intel (my Army specialty) and Information Warfare (a slightly different specialty in the Navy than in the Army Reserve Information Ops unit I was in at the time) aka Crypto stuff – but my recruiter asked me if I wanted a 3rd option on my application and I figured – what the hell, why not Surface Warfare – they drive the ships, shoot the guns, etc.  I’m not joking when I say that I did less research on picking SWO and going to Navy OCS (aka Hell in Rhode Island – esp in winter) than I did to buy a new audio receiver or region free DVD player.  The board cycle for selections (at the time) was about every 2 months for SWO vice every 6 months for almost all other specialties – so guess which came up first?

Although according to some reports (see above) I’ve read now, there’s apparently no longer a direct OCS commission for Intel or IW – but they have to go through 3 years of SWO life first.

For one Navy lieutenant, there are certain aspects of life as a surface warfare officer, or SWO, that can’t be beat, such as globe-spanning deployments and pulling into exotic ports.

“People join the Navy to see the world,” the O-3 with eight years under her belt told Navy Times. “But that’s only nine months of your entire cycle on the ship.”

For SWOs at her level, even those nine months [ed. note – 9-10 month underway deployments are becoming more common – esp in the era of COVID – also fewer port visits, although the “standard” is still 6 months – which is what my experiences were] deployed are full of endless paperwork, assorted busywork and zero sleep, in addition to the manning shortfalls and frenzied operations tempo that plague surface fleet sailors of all ranks.

“It’s a shitty job, to be honest,” said the lieutenant, who requested anonymity because she was not authorized to speak about her experience. “You see these pilots who get to fly, and they love flying. [ed. note – Pilots also get mandatory “crew rest” where they are “off duty” for long periods of time – which does not apply to *anyone* else on the ship.] (Commanding officers) love driving the ship. But me, as a middle manager on the ship, I don’t sleep. And the CO sleeps less than that.”

SWOs are the backbone of the Navy’s surface fleet. But the sea service is struggling to retain them at the end of their contracts, and women are leaving at especially high rates, according to a recent Government Accountability Office report.

That report found that the SWO retention issue has several causes, with some facets appearing more fixable than others, but it remains unclear whether Big Navy will be amenable to altering the SWO career path, which has steamed along largely unchanged for more than 100 years.

SWOs leave the community earlier in their careers and at a higher rate than those in other type communities, such as the submarine and aviation sectors, the report states.

To be fair, per the GAO report, the difference is 9.8 times more likely for SWO vice 9.6 for Subs (pretty close actually).

All told, just 33 percent of SWOs remain in the community after a decade of service, around their first major career milestone, compared to 45 percent of officers in other Navy communities, according to the GAO.

Generally the first career milestone has historically been considered the mark between 4 and 7 years – not 10.  At 4 years after commissioning, you’re on the edge of finishing your first 2 sea tours, gotten promoted to LT (O-3) and are about to hit your first shore tour.  6-7 years is towards the end of your shore tour when you’re deciding whether you want to go back to sea or not.  10 years comes after your second set of 3 years afloat (2 separate 1 1/2 year department head tours).

However…the real big bonus comes if you decide to do those 3 years to make it to 10.  Back in 2016, if you committed to do those 3 years as a department head, the bonus was something like $100,000-110,000 paid out over those 3 years (IIRC, the upper end is if you actually committed to it before you went to your shore tour – a very difficult choice under the circumstances).  As you may have picked up from some of my previous posts over the years – I didn’t volunteer for that.  I had seen the stress and anxiety and personnel management stuff – just didn’t seem like something I was cut out for (plus some other personal issues).  Then I sat down and talked with my shore tour CO at the time, and he explained to me that I had basically already been playing a department head role as a junior LT in our training command.  I decided to give it a shot – but I’d already submitted my resignation paperwork.  All my supervisors assured me there’d be no issues with pulling my resignation and staying in – ‘they never turn down SWOs’……except it turned out my year group (2010 – my commissioning group) was the one year that was *actually* overmanned because that was when they thought they’d need 3x as many SWOs to man Department Head billets on all the forthcoming LCSs – and look how that turned out….so no-go on staying in and getting a hefty chunk of cash (and stress).

At the same time, just 12 percent of female SWOs remain in the community after that time, compared with 39 percent of male SWOs, according to the report.

Navy officials told GAO they would like to improve SWO retention beyond the mandatory service requirement, and that other initiatives are at various stages of implementation, but the watchdog questions the sea service’s efforts.

“U.S. Navy officials are aware of the SWO communities’ high separation rates but have not used existing information to develop a plan with clearly defined goals, performance measures that identify specific retention rates or determine if initiatives to improve retention are working as planned,” the report states. “Doing so would better position the U.S. Navy to more effectively meet its personnel needs, capitalize on the significant investments made in training SWOs, and retain a more diverse and combat-ready force.”

In order to get more junior SWOs ship-driving time and keep them in the force, the Navy has in recent years revamped career paths while increasing retention bonuses at the critical career juncture when a SWO heads off to department head school around the eight-year mark, according to Rear Adm. Derek Trinque, a career SWO now serving as the assistant commander for career management at Navy Personnel Command.

Bonuses have been restructured so that SWOs who are more highly qualified for department head school get bigger bucks, Trinque told Navy Times.

Career path changes also ensure that division officer and department head tours involve being part of a ship’s force as opposed to serving on an afloat staff, he added.

“We’re always looking to keep our talented officers,” Trinque said. “I think this is the same across all our communities.”

Too many ensigns

Part of the Navy’s SWO retention issue has to do with a glut of junior officers, according to the GAO.

The Navy, on average, commissions nearly twice as many SWOs each year as it needs to fill junior SWO positions on ships, leaving these newbies to compete for ship driving time or other hands-on experience needed to be a good surface warfare officer, according to both the GAO and several SWOs who spoke to Navy Times.

“This is taking limited underway training opportunities and spreading them thinner than can be sustained,” one SWO told GAO investigators. “This is a huge problem that no one wants to address because SWO retention is so difficult.”

When a bunch of junior officers are all crammed into the same job, it’s hard to convince them that what they’re doing is worthwhile, according to one midgrade SWO, who asked to remain anonymous because he was not authorized to speak.

“What kind of rewarding opportunity do you have in the surface fleet if there’s three ensigns to a single billet?” the SWO asked. “If three ensigns are all (auxiliary officer) at the same time, all three of those ensigns feel stupid,” he said. “None of them are actually AUXO.”

From fiscal 2017 to 2021, GAO found that the Navy commissioned an average of 946 SWO ensigns a year, exceeding the number of required ensigns by about 85 percent.

For example, the destroyer Mustin averaged 18 SWO trainees aboard the ship when it only required six during the first quarter of 2020, while the cruiser Monterey averaged 21 such trainees when it only had eight slots, according to GAO.

This seems absolutely nuts to me – and as I’ve mentioned my year was overmanned already.  I think we had 1 extra Ensign on my first ship (an Oliver Hazard Perry class Frigate – 2010-2012) – she got to play “CE Division Officer” (Combat Electronics – radar techs, etc) – where the Division Officer was normally a prior service LDO (Limited Duty Officer or Warrant Officer) – the EMO (Electronics Maintenance Officer).  To be fair, that did free him up a bit – since as a more experienced, prior-enlisted junior officer, he was given lots of other collateral duties – particularly when we went in for maintenance, etc.

Imagine these are actually officer coffee mugs – and a lot more of them

On my second ship (an Aegis Destroyer – DDG, 2012-2014), we may have had as many as 2 or 3 surplus ensigns at one point – but I can’t recall interacting with that many – I wasn’t in competition with the Ensigns for ship driving time or anything else at that point.  My responsibility was in the Combat Information Center (CIC).

The numbers mentioned above are absolutely nuts – and I would attribute it to a couple things.

SWO billets, especially at the Ensign level are extremely limited by ships. The Frigates are gone, and other than Cruisers and Destroyers, I can’t think of too many ships that have SWO positions for Ensigns.  Aircraft Carriers have a lot of officer billets but extremely few SWO positions.  Amphibious ships have a few more….but that depends on the specific class and billet.  A lot of it also comes down to the rotation periods – OCS commissions officers year-round, the Academies and ROTC only put them out around the end of the school year.  I was commissioned in Feb and had a pretty big slate of ships to choose from – along with the other officers in my group.  I can’t imagine trying to compete for slots at the end of May/June.

Historically (when I was in at least, I think it’s tweaked a bit since then), your first tour was 2 1/2 years (30 months), followed by a second tour of 18 months (it sounds like that was changed to 24/24 – I think in 2014-ish, and now back to 30/18).  Sometimes you could do back-to-back tours on the same ship – but those opportunities were pretty limited – normally there are only a few “2nd Tour” jobs on most ships, ie, Navigator, Training Officer, Fire Control Officer (my job) on an Aegis platform.  *If* the stars aligned on your rotation schedule (and the XO/CO liked you), you might have the opportunity to “Fleet Up” and move up to a 2nd Tour billet on the same ship rather than transfer to another ship.

My timing wasn’t as good as I would have liked, so I didn’t even get to stay in the same port.  Big Navy decided it was worth their $$$ to ship me (and my car) to Hawaii for an 18 month tour – even though I would be deployed for 6 months of that period.

———-

To be continued….

About The Author

LCDR_Fish

LCDR_Fish

LCDR Fish is a service-queer veteran. Some days they identify as a grunt and some days they identify as a squid. Just don't call them a jarhead - that's triggering! Currently on reserve status as a filthy contractor.

281 Comments

  1. Brochettaward

    Jesus died only once for your sins, but I’m here Firsting on the regular to save you.

  2. Yusef drives a Kia

    I was going to shill, then I saw him, hard pass

  3. westernsloper

    Interesting LCDR Fish. Thanks. I never could keep up with all the ship classes the navy had.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I listen to Drachfiniel on YT, the guy is a Naval genious, and interviews other Naval genious’
      Highly recommended

  4. Sensei

    Thanks. I’m always interested in any insider view of an industry.

    So reading this several times and doing my best McKinsey analysis… Is the Navy creating too many Ensigns in general or just for SWO? You’ve essentially got almost 2x as many as you need here. Is it the same for other billets?

    • LCDR_Fish

      Think it’s covered in the later part of the original article – due to default attrition and other issues they need at least that many up front…but there needs to be a better way to organize it.

      • LCDR_Fish

        In terms of Ensigns – SWOs and Pilots (and Subs) are the two big communities. Most others are secondary – through other commissioning means – like Doctors, JAG, etc.

        https://www.mynavyhr.navy.mil/Career-Management/Detailing/Officer/

        You can transfer to any other community if they have openings and will take you – but almost never *if* you haven’t gotten your SWO letter/qual. Includes SEALS, Civil Engineering (Seabees), Information Warfare, etc.

      • Sensei

        Thanks, that was my expectation.

        Of course if they made the work more meaningful they wouldn’t need as many because there would be less attrition. Rinse and repeat.

    • pistoffnick

      “…always interested in any insider view…”

      I agree.

      I could never have been in the military (I like rum, never tried sodomy, and hate the lash). I REALLY don’t like being yelled at.

      It is interesting to live vicariously (without being yelled at, lashed, or sodmized).

      • Brochettaward

        To be fair, sodomy is more the Navy’s domain than that of the other branches.

        I’d like to see an article on that really gay tradition they have when they cross the equator for the first time. I don’t know the name of it. Just had some guy who was former Navy in my unit briefly explain it to me.

      • LCDR_Fish

        “Crossing the Line”? I’ve still got my signed certificate from King Neptune, but no pics ;p

        It was a funky thing to do – but pretty low-key/modest compared to what some of the older guys had done. I could probably put together a piece on it in the future.

  5. pistoffnick

    “…it was worth their $$$ to ship…my car to Hawaii…”

    *wonders what it costs to ship a car from Long Beach, CA to Hawaii*

    answer: about $1,600

    Huh, I would have guessed higher.

    *wishes he was back in Long Beach chasing taco trucks for tongue tacos*

  6. Brochettaward

    I mean, how much of the issue is that there is no real accountability or incentives to retain SWO officers that matter to the people who make the decisions? Our admirals aren’t here to win wars. They are there to push paperwork around and acquiesce to the whims of politicians in DC and higher ups at the Pentagon. To them it’s just numbers on a spreadsheet and there’s always fresh meet to throw into the grinder.

    When has America ever really had the officer corps it wanted in peacetime when war broke out? In damn near every war we’ve been in, we’ve had an initial series of clusterfucks and people getting shit canned until people who were actually competent at the military’s primary function were actually promoted into positions of power. And then when the war was ended, those people were shown the door for the political creatures once more.

    Military service sucks and isn’t worth the pay. More females leave than men? Color me shocked. It’s almost as if they aren’t built for it or something…

    • LCDR_Fish

      I think there’s a lot of mess in the Pentagon the last few years.

      Seriously, if you look at what happened in 7th fleet in 2017. If we had proper oversight – the Destroyer Squadron (DESRON) leadership in Japan would have been fired for the Antietam grounding – before the McCain/Fitzgerald collisions. That half of 7th Fleet wasn’t out on their ass after the first collision – for gundecking quals and redlines – is a big indicator – rolling over from 2008-2016 IMO.

      As I’ve said elsewhere – Nimitz ran his first command aground, but they gave him a second chance and we got the guy we needed in WWII. These days, they’ll fire you for something really minor but expect you to get underway and “you can’t say no” – ie. Riverine craft in the Gulf.

      • Brochettaward

        I think my favorite part of the GAO report (I only read news articles on it) was the line about the admirals who won WW2. They were drunks and womanizers who likely would have run afoul of the modern military’s puritanical bullshit.

        The guys who win you wars usually aren’t the guys the military wants during peacetime.

      • Gustave Lytton

        You can up and out to that as well. Same as with the Army.

      • Fourscore

        As an old army guy that used the opportunity of the VN War build up to go to Infantry OCS, I had all my EM time in Signal Corps and was the only one in my Inf class to get a branch transfer to Signal. I was able to ‘up’ rather than ‘out’ and got to finish as an officer.

        I was going to the Advanced Course (for captains) when OPO (Office of Personnel Operations) swooped in, we each were interviewed, about a third came back to class, picked up their gear and left the class room. Gone, no notice, 30 days more service clearing post, personal affairs, etc. They got a small buyout, like 20K and a handshake.

  7. rhywun

    BlackJack, if you’re around.

    Switch from Monocle to Eyepiece. I think it’s more current and problem-free.

    • blackjack

      Thanks. Imma try and figure out how. I don’t really see eyepiece anywhere. I also just noticed that when I hit reply, it opens the dropbox under the comments button up by my name. Then, when I close that and hit reply the page refreshes and resets the counter. Strange.

      • blackjack

        I found eyepiece and it looks like I’m back where I was. Thanks.

      • rhywun

        ?

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      Monocle should be stable, but the feature set is limited. Eyepiece is more feature rich, but there are some bugs that I know about.

      Generally, anything wrong with replying or posting is outside the purview of either tool.

      The comment count thing is weird, and I’ve encountered it in rare instances, but I’m relying on WordPress to flag them correctly. Essentially, I just count the number of comments flagged with the “new-comment” class by WordPress. If you have “unread comments persist” checked, I simply add a site cookie with a running list of comments to add that “new-comment” class to beyond the ones flagged by WordPress.

      All this to say that if you’re seeing a blue comment that isn’t being counted by the unread comment counter (or isn’t accessible via clicking the unread comment counter) that’s a bug I haven’t seen. That part of the code is super simple, so I’d be very curious the specifics if your count is off.

      • Mojeaux

        FWIW, I have noticed that if I go to another tab (say, in Safari on my iPad or on Firefox on my PC), then I come back to Glibs and it “refreshes” or whatever it does, that it really refreshes instead of just flickering a little. That has never happened before, and it started last night or this morning. What I mean is, if I tabbed away and came back, I would have to physically hit the refresh button to refresh it no matter what it does. Now, it does it itself.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I just saw a tampermonkey update get pushed, so it’s possible some changes in functionality may happen. I also know that there are some Chromium changes that have recently been rolled out, which would impact Chrome, Edge, Opera, and Brave among others.

        It’s such a moving target that its practically impossible to figure out why a certain thing changed. Web dev and I don’t get along because of that. I’m used to being able to see through the layers of abstraction between the code I write and what’s happening in memory and on the processor. That’s downright impossible with web development.

        I’ll say generally that clearing cookies is the fastest way to make Monocle/Eyepiece behave. Its akin to a factory reset. You lose all your preferences, but you put the tool in a known working state, and can evaluate whether the problem still exists.

      • rhywun

        Web dev and I don’t get along

        Amen to that.

        I’ll happily stick to backend/database stuff. At least career-wise.

      • rhywun

        PS. I’m on Edge and my TamperMonkey was last updated in May.

        But yeah, Edge updates all the time so who knows.

      • blackjack

        Yeah, I have seen that and a bunch of other stuff. the biggest thing was, every few times I would hit reply, it would open the dropdown box under the message button to the left of my name. I would close that and then hit reply again and it would refresh and lose the count. Eyepiece put me back where I was. I was having new comments appear without changing the counter and all of the blue disappear while the counter stayed the same. Then a little while later the counter would zero by itself. It was getting hard to stay up on what’s happening. I thought maybe it was a stuck input, because i have a convertible laptop, but it’s fine with eyepiece, so…

      • blackjack

        I spoke too soon. It just lost all the blue on the new comments, and then maybe 30 seconds later erased the new comments. Weird.

      • blackjack

        Yup, did it again, except this time the number lingered for longer. It’s erasing the counter by itself.

      • blackjack

        I clicked “avoid page refresh” we’ll see if that handles it.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Don’t use “Avoid Page Refresh”. I need to remove that function.

        Something’s clicking on your screen. Either the touchscreen driver is messed up, there’s something physically causing clicks to happen, or the browser is registering clicks. Everything you’re describing sounds like the touchscreen equivalent of a stuck key.

      • blackjack

        Btw, there’s not any problems anywhere else. It’s just at Glibs.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        every few times I would hit reply, it would open the dropdown box under the message button to the left of my name

        To me, that screams browser issue, especially if you’re using touchscreen. Sometimes my touches on my phone will register in weird places on certain browsers. Maybe a WordPress issue if not the browser. Monocle and Eyepiece don’t touch the reply button, so “not I” on this one.

        What browser is this? Sounds like you’re issuing click events all over the page without actually clicking.

      • blackjack

        I’m in chrome. It is a convertible laptop, so there might be an inadvertent input. dunno.

      • blackjack

        And, I really don’t use the touchscreen much, maybe sometimes to scroll, but clicking is too vague for me so i use the cursor and touchpad for that.

      • rhywun

        FWIW, I have seen no bugs in Eyepiece in a long time but I don’t have any of the options selected so there’s that.

        Other than the digit button, the only button I use is “Hide/Show Old Comments” and sometimes the top/bottom arrows.

        But I can’t live without those so thanks!

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I have a list of a few bugs in some of those options, but nothing remotely like what blackjack is describing. I have everything except “Avoid Page Refresh” turned on. I need to get rid of “Avoid Page Refresh”.

        Thanks for using it and thanks for helping me find bugs and test out functionality over time!

      • rhywun

        My pleasure.

        I’ve considered the Mute buttons…… but most of the other options go against my workflow.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I use mute buttons as “time out” for commenters that temporarily annoy me and nuke to hide content that I try to avoid clicking/participating in.

        I’d like to improve the latter functionality so that I can see when certain commenters contribute in other ways.

      • rhywun

        I have custom stylesheets that strikethrough Twitter and lots of other derp, but keeps them clickable in case I’m feeling masochistic.

  8. Yusef drives a Kia

    At some point in the very near future, we will need the Navy we don’t have, and the CCP Will take every advantage, they play the long game.

    • LCDR_Fish

      I’m worried about that on one level. On the other hand, I do know that our training is getting better.

      The bigger issue – is that our junior guys do have an excellent maintenance system (see my next article). If we go through so much pain to keep our boats afloat and running…..the Chinese may be chunking those boats out on the regular, but I doubt they’re in for the long haul. Heard some stories from folks who toured Russian ships during port visits the last 10 years. Material condition and corrosion is a helluva thing when you’re dealing with salt water.

      After 2 weeks of inspections – Amphibs – our ships need the work – esp need the shipyards to get off their asses and finish stuff on schedule. The backlogs for real work is what’s killing us.

      And get rid of the LCSs that NOBODY WANTS and are ABSOLUTELY WORTHLESS. 100% political BS.

      • blackjack

        The real concern is people losing the desire to fight and die for a country they can’t even recognize. The left has no love for America and the more traction they gain, the more they chip away it. Eventually, it’ll be hard to find anyone who doesn’t have at least a slight distaste for the government. Who’s gonna fight and die for that? If we transform into just shithole number 107 from the last bastion of freedom in the world, then we are done for.

      • The Hyperbole

        people losing the desire to fight and die for a country

        I got no problem with that.

        it’ll be hard to find anyone who doesn’t have at least a slight distaste for the government

        As it should be. Better yet, everyone should have a strong distaste for the government.

      • blackjack

        Yeah, I get what you’re saying, but would you sit by and allow China to overtake our government and enslave us all? Then ask, would let them if we are obviously on track to be just as bad anyway? That’s the point I’m trying to make.

      • straffinrun

        How do you get people to want to fight for the community outside their inner circle of family and friends? Dunno, but selective enforcement of law, demonization of political opposition and deep corruption are not the way.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        How do you get people to want to fight for the community outside their inner circle of family and friends?

        High social trust caused by worldview homogeneity and certain types of pluralism, along with a healthy respect for boundaries (i.e. rights) widely inculcated across a shared culture.

      • straffinrun

        Sounds good. How do you get THAT? This is where I split ways with conservatives (whatever the hell that even means today). Muh social fabruck is fraying! Must enforce it with law!

        The only real hope is decentralization. Succession is the ultimate goal. The only thing worse than a local bully is a federal one.

      • blackjack

        China want’s the whole country. If it splits into, say two or three smaller entities and then bickers over who gets what, they can just waltz in and take it all. Who’s going to stop them? Fucking France? The most powerful nation in the history of the world is tying it’s own noose right now. Our enemies are planning on watching us hang. We’re at the crossroads and the devil might not show up this time, basically.

      • straffinrun

        China is gonna Waltz in and take over North America?

      • LCDR_Fish

        China’s walking a thin line.

        Covering up thousands of folks dead from disease, flooding, genocide, etc can only last so long – even with the great firewall. They lose the Mandate of Heaven and it’s over.

      • blackjack

        China is going to play the part of divorce lawyer. We’re so busy hating each other, we couldn’t mount a decent defense if we wanted to. They’re already pushing trans rights all over the military and 1619 bullshit. Those guys won’t sit around for much of that. Half the country is mentally preparing to go to war with the other half. Our commander in chief doesn’t even know what day it is. Starting to seem like the iron is getting hot enough to consider some serious moves. I doubt we are up to the challenge, as a nation. I really do.

      • straffinrun

        Yep. China isn’t immune from the rot that opppressive govt causes.

      • rhywun

        I’m hoping that China turns out to be as much a paper tiger as the CCCP was.

      • J. Frank Parnell

        High social trust caused by worldview homogeneity and certain types of pluralism, along with a healthy respect for boundaries (i.e. rights) widely inculcated across a shared culture.

        RACIST!

      • blackjack

        Good luck with that. We’ve been pouring billions into China for decades and they have not been using it to build affordable housing for Uighurs. Well, they have, but not in the way we use the term.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Totally argee on the LCS, We are a Blue water Navy first,

    • Penguin

      I’ve watched a few videos on their ‘modern’ aircraft carrier. If they’re accurate, it’s a piece of shit.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Not sure if they’ve lost any aircraft over the side like the Russians in the Med a few years back, but they’ve got a long way to go.

  9. Bobarian LMD

    The Ensign problem…

    The Army handled this thru Branch detailing and career fields. The Combat Branches require lots of Junior Officers but very few Senior. A Armor Battalion has 14 Platoon Leaders, who compete for 4 Company Commands who compete for 2 Major billets and one Commander.

    So the Army takes some guys and says Do Armor for 3 years then we’ll make you a logistician. The loggy-toads don’t have lots of LT jobs but they have a lot more CPT jobs.

    Then at CPT, you can put in for career field designation, or stay in your operational branch.

    If you stay operational, you compete for the sexy jobs and stay on the track that will get you General.

    Or you can request a functional area/career field. That’s what I did, serving as an Armor/Cav guy for 8 years then becoming a FA49 — ORSA, which I then did for another 18+ years. Basically being a systems analyst/data scientist working in the personnel area.

    Other jobs in my field are combat modelling, budgeting, systems development.

    I went AGR (full time reserve at 13 years for stability/promotion) and worked for Recruiting and Human Resources (not like civilian HR, it is mostly manning the Army).

    • Brochettaward

      and worked for Recruiting and Human Resources

      You weren’t one of the assholes running MEPS, were you?

      • Bobarian LMD

        Nope, but I worked for an Army guy who commanded them all in his next job.

        They are a bane to my existence in my current job.

    • LCDR_Fish

      This is already in use kinda – IW and Intel used to be direct commission but I don’t think they are any more.

      The main thing is the board system that’s used – not just for promotions, but for qualifying to stand watch – OOD, EOOW, TAO, AAWC – the CO and other department heads will quiz you – sometimes for hours – on technical, legal, weapons, tactics, etc issues to determine whether you’re suitable to stand the watch. TAO, AAWC, etc include “weapons release authority” which is a MAJOR legal issue.

      And so, you can apply to switch from SWO – AFTER you’ve gotten your SWO pin (which I cover in more detail next time) – it’s not just a matter of doing your 2 years and being done. There’s a LOT more pain ;p

      Forgot that Supply is one of the large branches.

      Aviation, SWO and Subs are “Unrestricted Line” – they can command ships, other major commands…technically speaking in a wartime situation, a “Line” ENS would outrank a Supply LT for the purposes of commanding a ship if the CO and senior officers were killed. Mostly for technical, experience, but also for legal purposes.

      Restricted commands include Supply, Medical, Intel, etc.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Oh yeah…and because it’s a board – these can be *extremely* biased – if you’ve got a good CO, it makes all the difference. If you get set up for failure or don’t get along well….very hard even if you’ve got the knowledge, skills down.

  10. Trigger Hippie

    OT: Shallow Thoughts by Jackoff Hippie

    The old phrase “I’d bet dollars to doughnuts” is no longer applicable. Have you seen how much a single glazed costs these days?

    *hits bowl*

    I’ll read the article in a few, Fish. Promise.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Stoner….
      /hits pipe in Smokaderity,

      • pistoffnick

        “…Smokaderity…”

        Is that like butt chugging but with weed? Smokaderrierity?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Smoking Solidarity, what, are you channeling SF?

    • blackjack

      How about “balls to the wall?” Airplane throttles no longer have balls and neither do the whole latest generation of man-bun wearing men.

    • rhywun

      Still under a buck near me – though granted they are small like the Dunkin garbage donuts that’s further down the block. But the donuts at my shop are sublime.

      But I’m cutting that much sugar out of my life.

      *raises vodka & diet 7-up*

      • Penguin

        Personal taste and all that, but I found DD’s hash browns to be excellent.

      • rhywun

        Ah, I’ve never eaten anything other than a donut product from them.

        And a couple sips of their disgusting donut-flavored coffee.

      • Chafed

        Their coffee is terrible but don’t besmirch their doughnuts. They are a blissful oasis.

      • KSuellington

        If you wanna get even healthier Rhy, swap that out for a vodka club soda with lemon or lime squeeze. I’m not convinced that diet sodas are any better than regular ones.

      • rhywun

        I still have a “sweet” craving. I dunno.

        I do like gin & tonics and might switch to that. I guess there’s less sugar.

        I don’t think I can choke down a vodka/seltzer mix just yet.

      • KSuellington

        I drink tons of soda water, it’s my alternative to just drinking boring old still water. I don’t drink a lot of mixed drinks, but when I do, I prefer vodka sodas if it’s not straight whiskey on ice. The vodka sodas have the advantage of being the least hangover inducing beverage you can drink. This is tested and confirmed over many a drinking night.

      • Zwak, jack off, all trades

        The wife and I have done that with sodas. She is very happy to use them as mixers also, while I am just a beer guy for the most part.

        Although, I have started drinking leprechauns; Irish whisky with tonic, and a lemon twist.

      • KSuellington

        For some reason I have a deep aversion to quinine. It just tastes wrong to me. Funny, cause I have very few tastes that I repel from, I eat everything and I enjoy bitter type tasting things.

      • rhywun

        Interesting, I’ll check it out. Thanks

  11. Tulip

    It’s an interesting problem. The Navy wants trained officers in surface warfare, but so many leave, they have to recruit extra. That creates more competition for the upper ranks and means the junior officers don’t necessarily get to do job that trains them for the upper ranks. So, more leave, meaning they have to recruit more, etc.

    • LCDR_Fish

      More of that in the 3rd portion – need to let people focus on specialties inside SWO, not just generalists.

      • Tulip

        I think the interesting thing about military labor is that they must grow their own. They can’t run a nationwide search for an admiral or captain. So they always have to recruit more and whittle them down. So many perverse incentives. It’s a perennial struggle to define who you want to keep and make it happen.

      • Fourscore

        And it pretty much subjective as to who gets to stay and who gets ‘fired’. Reserve officers (Army) have a 2 year commitment initially, many leave, some voluntarily extend their commitments through other programs.

        I was a reserve officer on”Voluntary Indefinite” status and my status was good ’til I reached 20 years service.

  12. Tulip

    OT but somewhat related – thanks l0b0t for recommending Raven rock.

    • Brochettaward

      I read that as Raven cock and laughed like Beavis.

  13. Yusef drives a Kia

    I’m watching the Tomorrow War on Amazon, and I don’t like that future at all,

    • blackjack

      That’s what I would have said two years ago about today’s news.

    • blackjack

      That’s what I would have said two years ago about today’s news.

      • Plinker762

        You could have just said 4 years once. But that would have been racist math.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Yeah, but You’re a Towel….

      • Plinker762

        Wanna get high?

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Dammit, I haven’t even got started and decided the plot, no Aliens, jus som elaborite plot, Lets see how it plays out,

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Well, I was wrong, the Aliens are from a nightmare, and Michael Bay apporoved effects

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      It was a good flick, cool effects, the plot was good enough and the cast definitely carried their wieght.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Somehow it seems preferable to our present.

  14. straffinrun

    That was a fun read. Different universe.

  15. OBJ FRANKELSON

    For Combat Support and Combat service support officers in the Army, they had a somewhat similar problem.

    I’ll speak from a military intelligence perspective because that is what I know, although I think it is roughly applicable to most of the non-combat arms branches as well. There are very few Second Lieutenant (2LT) positions in the intel branch, each brigade has two or three, at most (if there wasn’t a Warrant Officer camping out there already). a few more and scattered around the division staff, Even at the intelligence agency units there is not much of a call for company-grade officers (2LT-Captain), let alone butter bars. For MI Branch, the need for officers really expands at the Captian and above when they are need as staff intelligence officers at the Battalion and above.

    The solution the Army came up with is actually reasonably smart (as Pentagon personnel management goes), they take all of the excess junior officers and have them serve in branches that have a greater demand for Lieutenants. In the Army’s case, the Infantry always needs Platoon Leaders and Executive Officers, the same goes for the other combat arms branches, so they would spend few years wearing crossed rifles, swords, etc. and then come back to the intelligence world as Captians with a better understanding of the needs of the shooters and, idealy, more well-rounded officers overall.

    It sounds like there is something of an inversion of that problem in the Navy, the officers that are going to be fewer opportunities at junior ranks for those that would become flag officers, whereas in the Army there is a serious demand for junior-grade officers in fields that are infinitely more likely to reach flag-grade. Perhaps the solution is for the Navy is to have the glut of Ensigns do something in the Logistics or Electronic Warfare world where there is a bigger need for those officers (I have no idea which fields need or don’t need junior officers).

    Just a thought, take of it what you will.

    (An aside, if I had went officer, I would have done my damnedest to go into a Combat Arms field, I felt for the Intelligence officers I served with, signing leave forms and/or getting ritual beatings from their commander looked miserable).

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      Apologies for the wall’o-text, there are a couple of empty tall cans near my computer right now.

      • straffinrun

        No worries. Can’t read it anyways cuz this site is all screwy right now on my phone.

      • rhywun

        To be fair, it looks like somebody didn’t turn off the sidebar.

    • LCDR_Fish

      Yeah, I was enlisted Intel, and my buddy at UNC was ROTC – MI, branch detail Chemical (every combat arms BN has the one junior chemical officer who gets the shit list details). Of course, after his MI company command, he transferred over to Foreign Service…or whatever the attache duty is called. Can’t remember.

      My S2 for deployment was MI branch detail infantry – which worked out pretty well since I think he messed up his knees doing jump school too.

    • Gustave Lytton

      My second PL was MI branch (OCS prior service). That compass device and about 10-15 years older than his peers set him apart. That and he had an NCO’s sense of humor. Gentleman by an act of Congress.

      Unfortunately, his career hit a rough patch on a CPT that had no business being in uniform.

    • rhywun

      We’re getting very close to “I will not comply” territory. Which is a position I don’t want to be put in because I avoid that shit.

      • Q Continuum

        I know for a fact that place around here won’t go along even if Governor Shit-for-brains reinstates the mandate. I am not putting a fucking mask on again.

      • blackjack

        Masks? They want to forcibly inject me with weird assed drugs they invented on the fly. I ain’t doing it.

    • straffinrun

      “Fully vaccinated”

      Words mean nothing.

      • Chafed

        Not to the CDC. And they are very busy making a mockery of getting vaccinated.

    • Brochettaward

      I mean, they are losing their number one incentive to get people to vaccinate with this mask crap short of avoiding full on lockdowns.

    • Trigger Hippie

      Yeah, I’ll turn around and walk right out of any business that insists I madk up again. KC area people have quite enough of this shit. Push back will be more pronounced this time around.

      • Mojeaux

        I hope so, but I’m not holding my breath.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Luckily I’ve managed to find enough non compliant businesses over the last year plus that I can still do my regular shopping without putting up with this shit. On the business/job end, I’m going to force the businesses to do a “no contact” transaction. Which basically means they’re going to have to roll out my materials and products and load them into my car while I sit there and smoke a cigarette.

      • Mojeaux

        I can’t wait for season 6 of The Expanse.

      • Mojeaux

        Fuck a duck.

    • Chafed

      Sorry Moe. I’m sure I’ll be complaining about the same thing after the recall vote.

    • Mojeaux

      YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!

    • Brochettaward

      How many times do you think he practiced raising his voice when he got to the “it’s disgraceful!” part of his little speech?

      • blackjack

        With his DNC coach? Until he got it just so, I’d imagine.

    • straffinrun

      Drama Queen Bitch. No wonder fuckheads like him shoot Pugs.

      • Plinker762

        Pugs for pigs?

    • blackjack

      Hell is for children.

    • The Hyperbole

      Was he the guy who got dragged down the steps and beaten with a flagpole?

      • straffinrun

        If so, violent thug gets beat up by violent thug. ?‍♂️. Got any ??

      • blackjack

        No. He “was dragged down some steps and zapped with a stun gun, triggering a small heart attack.”

        “I experienced the most brutal, savage hand-to-hand combat of my entire life, let alone my policing career, which spans almost two decades”

        I experienced more violence than that at the age of 8. He’s a liar and a pussy.

      • Fourscore

        I guess he’s never been a combatant in the parking lot of a bar.

      • blackjack

        Government workers have very generous IOD policies. They are basically like soccer players. They will cry and whine over the slightest tap and take weeks off at full pay. I have seen it. This time, it helps to shore up the bullshit story the dems want to paint, so it’s front and center. Dude is lying to help the hacks from his political party.

      • J. Frank Parnell

        Yes, and then the insurrectionists turned him into a newt.

      • Plinker762

        He was probably the guy beating off after the chick got shot.

    • Shpip

      The defenders of the Alamo got nothin’ on that guy.

      /wipes away manly tear of admiration

    • Chafed

      That’s good.

  16. straffinrun

    Turn on tv and can watch the Olympics or the select committee on Jan 6. Hope a javelin takes an errant path.

    • rhywun

      Is DC closer eastward or westward?

    • Brochettaward

      The 1/6th shit is even dominant in Japan?

      • straffinrun

        Only on CNN. Japan DGAF about these kind of things in the US.

      • Chafed

        Neither does a good part of the US.

  17. The Bearded Hobbit

    In the fall of 1971 I was flunking out of college and my deferment was in danger. I really, really did not want to get drafted with a ticket to Viet Nam. Particularly frightening to me was an article that I read about “tunnel rats” who dove into the VC network of tunnels. I’m claustrophobic as hell and that was terrifying.

    So considering the “good offense is good defense” I decided to enlist in a branch that *wasn’t* burrowing into tunnels. My first choice was the Navy and I went to the recruiter early one afternoon. He was laying on the couch in the office and said, “I’m taking a nap, kid. Come back later.”

    The Air Force guy was next door.

    (humblebrag) The recruiter called my mom a few days later and said that my score on the Armed Forces Recruitment Test was the highest that had been recorded. (/humblebrag)

    • Plinker762

      So they made you an SP?

      • Q Continuum

        They made him a Top. Man.

      • J. Frank Parnell

        They got rid of him as soon as possible so he wouldn’t upstage any of the officers.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      My grandfather joined the navy because he figured he’d rather sleep in a bunk than in a foxhole. But then his ship got sunk by the Japs and he ended up floating around on a liferaft in the South Pacific for a few days, which was probably a major factor in his skin cancer issues when he was in his 70s. But OTOH he didn’t get killed in Normandy in his 20s like my great uncle, so I guess that’s a win.

  18. pistoffnick

    Negative: The latest rainstorm took out half of my front yard apple tree. It only produces apples every other year. This was an apple producing year.

    Positive: We needed the rain.

    Positive: I now have a lot of green apple wood which can smoke a lot of salmon and pork.

    Positive: The rain storm did the pruning I should have done.

    Neutral: Biden is an idiot. Come on, THIS is the best you’ve got?

  19. Zwak, jack off, all trades

    OT/Covid time!

    We, the undersigned Indian Doctors for Truth, want to bring to your notice certain scientific
    facts about immunity achieved by Indian population among adults and children, alike, in the
    light of the latest sero-survey done by AIIMS along with WHO, for immediate action.
    Looking at the evidence, we urge you to immediately stop the drive for vaccination of the
    entire population and limit it to voluntary vaccination of only those above 60 years and/or
    people with severe degree of comorbidity.

    https://awakenindiamovement.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/Letter-to-PM.pdf

    I hope Scruffy sees this, as it is up his alley.

  20. Yusef drives a Kia

    OK the Tomorrow war turned out pretty good, 4.5/5

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Oh God No! please!

    • Chafed

      Some of us respect other people.

    • Brochettaward

      It is a very gay word. To the point where I question the sexuality of anyone using it. Gustave…you used it. Hm…

  21. Yusef drives a Kia

    So, i left my job, started a music production venture and stepped up a big level in my golf game, not a bad wek so far, and it’s barely Wednesday, Yippee!

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      or a week,

      • Shpip
      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Hell yes! Yummy!

    • straffinrun

      I’m about ready to walk away from everything. But then again, I’ve felt like that for decades.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        After Wendy, I walked away, but I still need to eat, either food, or a bullet, I like food,

      • straffinrun

        Give a man a bullet and he eats for the rest of his life.

  22. Yusef drives a Kia

    I really don’t do well alone, kinda scary, oh shit,

    • straffinrun

      I can count on one hand the number of things I can do alone.

      • Chafed

        Does one of them involve your hand?

  23. straffinrun

    Those clips of grown men in uniform crying over their holy site being defiled is the cringe peak I’ve been waiting for.

      • straffinrun

        Nice.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        His Avatar Rocks!

      • Shpip

        Coulda used that in Animal’s Allamakee County story yesterday.

  24. Yusef drives a Kia

    I talk of a new life up here, but ultimately, without my Wendy, I’m a broken Man. There are a few Persons that have helped me get by, but I’ll never get over my Wife, in Life, and in Death, I’m still lost.

  25. Yusef drives a Kia

    OTOH, I’m a Psycho Drunk Disc golf HVACR mechanic who will blow your mind!
    /Pull it it together

  26. straffinrun

    Some people sure do love slathering their hands with sanitizer as they enter a store. Then spend a minute getting it into every crevice. Neurotic freaks.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I’m immune, i grew up with dirt and a spoon literally, go play, and it was fun,

      • straffinrun

        Spoon? Mr Humblebrag.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Stainless, not Silver

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Seriously, 1966, Dad is stationed at El Toro MCAS in Tustin CA we lived in a shit apartment and played with plastic cars in the dirt, good times in America!

      • straffinrun

        Cut offs, 25 cent inner tubes, the Chippewa River and The Doobie Brothers on a transistor radio. The 70’s rocked.

    • Chafed

      I didn’t think Japan permitted ass sanitizing in public.

    • Mojeaux

      I absolutely despise that stuff.

      A couple of times during the lockdown, employees of whatever store offered it (more like tried to press it upon me). I just went, “That stuff is disgusting and I don’t want to touch it.” That’s something you don’t hear every day about hand sanitizer.

  27. Yusef drives a Kia

    I’m glad to have grown up when I did, wendy and i grew some tough kids, like us, they didn’t have that much, but at least mine looked good, Wendy made sure of that.
    /Memories

  28. straffinrun

    Deep Purple or Blue Oyster Cult?

    • blackjack

      Stop with that. BOC is like 5 different bands in one and none of them are anywhere near as good as Deep Purple.

      • blackjack

        Yeah, really.

      • Brochettaward

        Neither is Limp Bizkit.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Oh… no! There goes smoke on the water. Go go, lunatic fringe!

      • Penguin

        Eric Bloom spoke (allegedly) fluent Japanese. When BOC toured Japan, he’d sing (all the songs he actually sung) the sets in Japanese.

      • Penguin

        cunnilingus? Don’t you mean anal?

      • Chafed

        Both actually.

      • Chafed

        There 3 or 4 versions of Deep Purple. But yes, they are better than BOC.

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      Deep Purple actually did a lot of great albums but what do you hear on the radio today? “Smoke on the Water” and maybe a few other hits off of Machine Head.

      BOC actually did a lot of great albums but what do you hear on the radio today? Crickets.

      BOC had the great cuts that never got airtime (“Hot Rails to Hell”) and more solid bone-crushing tunes than Deep Purple at their best.

      Disclaimer: I’ve seen both bands like and BOC blew the roof off of Civic Auditorium.

      • Chafed

        Rock radio in most cities is awful. But in its glory days it was wonderful. I heard this quite frequently in Boston during the 80s.

        https://youtu.be/G7GERh0sQzY

      • Plinker762

        I was in New England in the 80s and now the PNW. Are you stalking me?

      • Chafed

        Yes?

      • Plinker762

        OK, just checking.

      • Brochettaward

        In a way, since I’m always First, people are always coming after me. You’re all stalking me. Hunting me. It’s the fate of all seconders. But I can take it. Because I’m not a hero, but not your hero. I’m a silent guardian. A watchful protector.

      • Chafed

        Good tune

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        BOC had a clever sign-off. For the finale song the musicians would, one by one, abandon their instrument and pick up another. Sometimes is was drums, sometimes bass. The night that I saw them it was 5 guys tearing up the guitars.

        Yeah, got a bit of a soft spot for “The Cult”

      • Shpip

        My roommate freshman year at Big State U had the stereo, and I didn’t, and his musical tastes were:

        Rainbow
        Deep Purple
        Dio

        Needless to say, I had my fill of it by the time that year was up.

        But let me ask you this, did Purple ever have an video that was an epic mash-up of a hit song, a timeless SNL skit, cooking equipment, and Antifa thugs getting brained?

        Didn’t think so.

  29. Gustave Lytton

    Continuing with Grace Jone from last night

    https://youtu.be/eQopdEwzRj0

    In Living Color slays me. Apparently Kim Wayans broke her ankle during the sketch, not only finished it but, well you can see for yourself.

    • KSuellington

      I haven’t seen her in anything recent, I imagine she is just chilling at this point. She was one bad ass when younger. I liked the character she played, I wonder how much of it was real.

      • Brochettaward

        Juwanna Man is one of my favorite feature films.

      • Plinker762

        A movie about a female impersonator? Sounds kind of gay.

      • Brochettaward

        It’s a timeless romance.

  30. Penguin

    Watching women’s water polo – US vs. Hun. I’ve a thing for water polo, since it’s the only Olympic sport I’ve ever seen live. My dad just got a hair up his ass and decided to go to Montreal in 1976. So, as a young kid, I went along.. We were looking for tickets, but everything was sold out. Finally, some scalper produced 4 tix for a water polo game (I think it was between Romania and USSR). So I got to see that. Yay.

    • Penguin

      Ah crap, we lost.

  31. Yusef drives a Kia

    This life is getting old, 33 years and then it all went Poof! gone, now I am wondering arouund like lost fool, why bother….
    Out!

    • Brochettaward

      No…No…please don’t go….

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I’m never gone Bro, I am the Glibs, maybe not TPTB but I’m a Homeslice around these parts,

      • hayeksplosives

        Fucking Yusef, snap out of it!! You have everything going for you.

        Look yourself in the mirror, slap yourself in the face, and pretend it was me.

        Your back is fucked, you’re single, you’re unemployed. But you are in a golden, sweet spot.

        Embrace it.

      • Brochettaward

        Yusef needs to find out where the white bitches be at.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The government is actively pitting people against each other now. I sincerely despise our current crop of pols and bureaucrats with every fiber of my being.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Holy sharing of genetic information with the authorities on the sly more like it. It’s good they caught this douchebag in particular but be careful who you give those cheek swabs to.

      • Brochettaward

        This is old news. Most high profile instance was when they used it to catch the East Area Rapist/Original Night Stalker/Golden State Killer several years ago. It doesn’t matter who you give your DNA to at this point. If you have even distant relatives who used some genealogical testing site, they can find you. You have no real privacy when it comes to your DNA at this stage.

      • Gender Traitor

        ???

      • Festus

        She was a Happening Chick, Daddy-O!

      • Ghostpatzer

        Thanks for that, I don’t drink and I need some crazy jive to adjust my attitude.

    • Gender Traitor

      Because of the movie being shown at the time? Maybe…but I don’t know what the movie’s about so… I don’t know. ?

      Good morning, Sean! (Meant completely unironically!)

      • Sean

        Good morning!

        I’m in a *slightly* better mood than yesterday.

        We’ll see how that progresses…

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Yep, put the needle in your arm or get shitcanned and businesses are so risk averse that a large majority will require it. Meanwhile the lawsuits will go nowhere because of coopted judges. This isn’t a free country anymore because if they can force you to take experimental meds they can force you to do anything.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Mass noncompliance is the only way out of this.

        I feel fortunate that I run my own business, but I can see that this isn’t the end point. Vaccine passports are coming unless we stop it now. They will try to restrict travel and everything else.

        And this is no longer about health and risk in any way, shape, or form. This is about driving a wedge between people and establishing absolute control.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Things were looking up but there’s always another variant around the corner and they’ve grabbed onto it like a drowning man grabs onto a life vest. Anyone who thought this was resolved is a sucker and you’re correct about the implications of the policies they’re pushing. It needs to be stopped now not only because of Covid but also to head the measures that’ll be taken to fight the public health crises of climate change, gun violence, and racism off at the pass.

      • Sean

        Moderna, a company who never had a product approved by the FDA…

        JFC.

        And then Pfizer…

    • rhywun

      I guess it’s game over, then.

      • Brochettaward

        By the time it reaches the Supreme Court, it’ll have been approved by the FDA and they’ll rule the matter moot. Just like with the challenges to the 2020 election.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        This was a foregone conclusion. Either get thee to a red state where you’ll be protected (for now anyway), get the shot, or get in the unemployment line.

    • Gender Traitor

      Anyone happen to know if there’s a Circuit Court of Appeals (i.e., NOT the Ninth) likely to put the kibosh on this, to at least buy us some time?

    • Sean

      We have no vaccine mandate, and will not as long as I’m in charge.

      /still hiring!

  32. UnCivilServant

    Morning, Glibs.

    Evidence suggests I’m fine with normal food. Now If only these incisions would hurry up and finish healing so I can pick up heavy objects and I’ll be back to normal.

    • Brochettaward

      You’ll be seconding like your old self in no time.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, U!

      Normal food? Like mac & cheese?? That’s great news! As for the heavy lifting – all in good time.

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, I had fried chicken and mozzerella sticks yesterday without issue. Haven’t made mac and cheese yet.

        I am going to stick to the smaller portions I’ve been on, just because it’ll help me on the weight loss front.

      • Gender Traitor

        A wise precaution for the digestion, too.

      • Gender Traitor

        I’m out of frozen lunches, so I have to go out for lunch today.

        I wonder where – close to my office – I can find mozzarella sticks…

      • UnCivilServant

        *shrug*

        It takes a while to figure out the local restaurants and which ones are worth the cost.

      • Gender Traitor

        The quickest and most convenient place is Tim Horton’s, and by the time I take my late lunch (c. 2 p.m.) they’re often out of most lunch items. On the bright side, last time I was still able to get a breakfast wrap with bacon.

      • Fourscore

        Mornin’ in America, UCS, GT, even Bro (much to my chagrin) and all ‘others.

        Your plan sounds like the right one, UCS, I see you are out walking when weather permits, you’ll be the same old UCS but a smaller one. Keep up the good work.

        I’m almost back to my old fighting weight, appetite is returning but no heavy lifting for me either. My body keeps saying no…

      • Gender Traitor

        Good morning, 4(20)+(?)! ♥

  33. Tres Cool

    suh’ fam

    whats goody

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, homey! Getting hot out there yet?

      • Tres Cool

        Not yet. No Tall Cans® for me this am….The Dozer gets to see the vet and get shots in his butt.
        That and he has a weird growth on his ear that needs inspected.

      • UnCivilServant

        It’s called a head. Most ears have one growing out of their root.

    • Festus

      “Swengin! San Francisco Cocksuckah!” I just reached for my 10th beer from the fridge and saw a notice hanging on the freezer door about renewing my insurance tomorrow… tomorrow…tomorrow… Gonna have the shut ‘er down. Have fun without me, I need to sober up for obvious reasons.

      • Festus

        Sorry for that. Was supposed to be the last minute or so of that video.

    • Ghostpatzer

      That evil camp imposed a maskless mandate on those poor kids. Cali DOJ will strike a blow for mask choice in short order.

  34. Sean

    So, I have a vacation planned for next month.

    Odds on everything going sideways before I get to go away?

    I’m thinking it’s currently at 50/50.

    • Ghostpatzer

      Quite the optimist, you are. Things have been sideways for quite some time, upside down is coming soon.