Good!

Alrighty then, I hope everyone enjoyed yesterday. Whether you were at home dealing with three wound-up kids or were at work watching the Virginia protests rather than getting anything done, it’s nice when a federal holiday rolls around. Unless of course you’re not from here. In which case, how dare you people not celebrate MLK Jr. Your countries are racist.

Looks like the Australian Open is underway. That’s nice. I hope the place doesn’t burn down. I didn’t notice any big upsets, but I’ll be honest, it’s kinda hard to tell what’s going on with the women’s side, and on the mens I’m still of the mind that there are only a few names that can win a major tournament. When something big happens in week 1, I’ll be sure to mention it. I’ll just stick to hockey and do my daily reminder that the Red Wings are a freaking disgrace. The Avalanche doubled them up yesterday. And the Wild also went down to the Panthers. Β And those were the only games.

I WANT ONE!!!

Confederate General Stonewall Jackson was born on this day. Β He shares it with gunmaking legend John Browning, Russian rat Rasputin, hockey heavyweight Georges Vezina, fashion designer Christian Dior, acrobatic patriarch Karl Wallenda, slapped actor Telly Savalas, comic legend Benny Hill, (the greatest) golfer (of all time) Jack Nicklaus, tenor Placido Domingo, presidential wingman Eric Holder, gazillionaire Paul Allen, actress with big teeth Geena Davis, basketball player Hakeem “the Dream” Olajuwon, Spice Girl Emma Bunton, and soccer player Phil Neville.

And now we come to…the links!

Good thing the cops were able to dedicate this manpower to solving the really big crimes.Β Graffiti is an eyesore. But isn’t this a bit selective as far as prosecutions go?

Here we go again…

I’ll paraphrase the real meaning of what she’s saying:Β I want all poor people in developing countries to die because I’m an idiot.Β Because, you know, that’s the only way those people are going to get power necessary to heat their homes, build infrastructure, get things to market and each other, have potable water, develop sanitation, produce more food, and a shitoad of other things. Β But nobody will point that out to her from the media.

Maybe its time to quarantine China.Β Oh well, at least it’s happening when travel there is lo…oh shit, it’s happening when millions from around the world are going there. Β That’s just great.

If this surprises you, you don’t know much about Chicagoland politics.Β Maybe the solution is to stop implementing programs and getting the government so involved in every single facet of your lives. Β Or maybe it’s a MOAB.

“I am so fucking high right now”

This is the New American Dream.Β It’s a touching story about a single family overcoming all obstacles to strike it rich. Well done!

There was no encore.Β Too bad he didn’t have the foresight to have played Happy Trails earlier in the set.

Just in case you thought only American intel agencies were corrupt at the top,Β It looks like Interpol has a similar issue.Β Gee, how surprising!

Enjoy the Remoaners’ theme song.

Now have a great day, friends!