What should I do? Bitch about the heat? It’s 103 today. Being up at 5 am for this shit? Meh, have to go to work anyway. At 5 am. Notice that the lawn needs mowing? I’m too old for that shit. Way too old, and we have no kids left here. Observe that none of you have the slightest bit of sympathy, what with all your privilege? Shit, I do that daily. Take complaining away from a Jew and what you have is a very, very quiet Jew.

Speaking of not-quiet, there’s many interesting birthdays today, including a guy who is not well known today but was… interesting; one of our true spiritual fathers; the last of the skilled editorial cartoonists; the one true god of jazz piano; a comedian who was more notorious than actually, you know, funny; one of the pioneers of Langmuir-Blodgett films and one or two other things; the one true god of jazz bass; a pop singer who actually managed to make interesting music; the reincarnation of the mummy of Amenhotep; a prolific cookbook author whose dishes were at once earnest and remarkably bland; a woman whom I taught about oral sex; the finest wide receiver I ever saw- or am ever likely to see; a guy whom I can’t decide is more funny or tiresome; and a walking punchline and a doppelganger of Mr. Ed.

Now for the meat course. Oh wait, I don’t eat meat. So there’s nothing here for me. Just news.


One more thing I didn’t have on my 2020 checklist: Trump coming out as bi.


Man, I just cannot keep up.


Now, I admit, this is not a topping that SP and I had ever considered.


Adventures with Uber.


Silly Negroes don’t know what’s good for them. Thank god there are journalists around to enlighten them.


Not the Babylon Bee. This time.


Old Guy Music today features a birthday boy being, on the one hand, a bit out of character, and on the other, awesome. Gripping hand: it’s Art Fucking Tatum. He play what he want.