SAN JOSE – After analyzing their successes from the 2020 election season, Jack Dorsey and the rest of the Twitter executive team have announced a new fact checking feature will be rolled out to Twitter over the next week.
The feature, called the Consensus Empathy, Nicety, and Science Orthodoxy Reminder, fact checks all types of content on Twitter, and, like during the election, provides a helpful reminder highlighting the acceptable facts and conclusions, as decided by a panel of experts. The CENSOR panel includes a rotating cast of representatives from the AP, CNN, Washington Post, New York Times, the SPLC, MoveOn, Greenpeace, and The Department of Education’s Office of Civil Rights.
@Jack also announced a specialist hire to the CENSOR panel. Jeffrey Toobin started this week in his new role as Explicit DM Tsar. He will personally review all pornographic and sexual DMs and flag the inaccuracies or exaggerations. His name aroused great interest in the Twitter boardroom over the past few weeks, and he hopes to parlay that exposure into the erection of a framework of rules that will improve DM transparency and accuracy. Already, Toobin has planted his flagpole at Twitter, implementing a diversionary program where he conducts video calls with frequent violators for a hands on session.
While the reminder messages are a good start, experts have expressed concerns that they’re not enough. @Jack has shown yet again that he has his fingers on the pulse of the world, simultaneously announcing the rollout of the next generation CENSOR technology. Called CENSOR Spin, Heresy and Intemperateness Purger, the new technology removes hate speech, lies, bigotry, and other wrongthink. CENSORSHIP is still in a public beta, and @Jack has addressed some of the hiccups that come with any ambitious but necessary program like this. After the Girl Scouts’ account was wrongly suspended for racism for advertising Samoas, @Jack tweeted a heartwarming apology: “So sorry #girlScouts, we are still tweaking our user whitelists and blacklists.”
In contrast, Dorsey also circulated a particularly dangerous tweet that was caught and disposed of by CENSORSHIP. Kimberly Pennington of Balls Ford, Virginia posted a despicable picture of her kids playing soccer maskless and non-socially distanced, potentially killing thousands. Pennington and those who retweeted her were all removed from Twitter and automatically reported to the Department of Homeland Security on suspicion of domestic terrorism. A spokeskin for the DHS would not comment due to an active terrorism investigation.
UPDATE: Since the publishing of this article, @Jack has been deleted for racism and all Twitter posts from @Jack or referencing @Jack have been removed. Further, all information about Jack Dorsey has apparently been scrubbed from the internet. No person named Jack Dorsey has ever been affiliated with Twitter.
UPDATE 2: Twitter has contacted us and requested that we remove all mistaken references to the person held out as the founder of their company from this article.
The initial rollout of the CENSORSHIP technology has been a great success, with an increase in user base by 40% to a new high water mark of 1,724 users. A highly secure, scientifically infallible user satisfaction vote has shown that 100% of the users have a positive impression of the new changes to the platform, with 114% of the users registering responses.
Another announcement by Twitter Truth and Reconciliation, Inc today confirmed the glorious acquisition of Northern Suffolk railroad company as a subsidiary of the CENSORSHIP business unit. CENSORSHIP business leader, T’taleigh Naughtabot, explained that the newer, better Twitter will be able to move triple the number of Deplorable Adversaries of All Good and Right to reconciliation facilities at half the previous cost. Naughtabot also stressed that there are no more DAAGRs in the country and never were. Peace and prosperity have been the eternal truth in the United States of Twitter.
All please rise, remove your hats, place your favorite emoji over your hearts, and sing along with the national anthem of the United States of Twitter.
Please report to barracks 24 for your daily ration of potato and rice.
“Twitter Brings Fact Checking Feature To Non-political Content”
They have already been doing that.
That’s their secret, Count. Everything is political.
The National Anthem would be better if she were naked.
We laugh but this shit isn’t as far fetched as we think it is.
Biden voters are complete useful idiots and have no idea what they have done. Their children will find out, that is for certain. The present crop of useful idiots will watch this country descend into a socialist hell and be oblivious to it.
It looks like we are headed for Soviet level horrors at breakneck speed. Damned right it isn’t far fetched. It isn’t far fetched at all.
This is about Truth and Reconciliation, comrade. Now, have you congratulated president-elect Joe Biden on his glorious and in no way questionable victory. I would Hate to have to put you on the list of those that will, shall we say, require a bit more observation by the party.
This video has more diversitee, and sounds more like a soviet anthem.
I…dont know what to think
I like both potatoes and rice. Bring it on.
Bread lines bring communities together. That is when there is bread to line up for.
bread lines will be extra long with everyone standing six feet apart.
Hah hah, silly virgin capitalist running dog. Line up regardless if there’s bread or not. In fact, if you see a line, just join in because it must be something worth standing in line for.
Coffee! coffee! coffee!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VHIcmoY3_lE
Same-same military transport. See a line, get in line. Must be to eat, PX (ship’s store?), head, shower? Where ever it’s going you need whatever is there or will by the time you get to the front.
Ahem, that is potato, singular. And not one of those decadent capitalist russets, a rather small new potato.
Jeffrey Toobin started this week in his new role as Explicit DM Tsar. He will personally review all pornographic and sexual DMs and flag the inaccuracies or exaggerations. His name aroused great interest in the Twitter boardroom over the past few weeks, and he hopes to parlay that exposure into the erection of a framework of rules that will improve DM transparency and accuracy. Already, Toobin has planted his flagpole at Twitter, implementing a diversionary program where he conducts video calls with frequent violators for a hands on session.
You are going to give Swiss a heart attack.
It’s going to take a team of doctors 6 hours to pry his gaze open.
You had me till you started Toobin.
Go ‘way, toobin?
That just kinda whipped it out there for the whole world to see.
Why does anyone care that last night’s NFL game was reffed by “an all black” squad? Does their skin color inform how they call the plays? America is supposed to be having a discussion on race; how can we move beyond skin color if skin color is constantly being thrown in our face as some kind of important factor?
NFL game was reffed by “an all black” squad
I didn’t notice.
Me either….. but the announcers pretty much gargled Brady’s balls the entire game…. right up until he tossed the game ending interception. Brady time indeed…. hahaha.
During the Westwood One radio broadcast they said, ‘first time in professional sports’; to me that sounds like the people who claimed Black Panther was the first ‘Black Superhero’ movie.
Who is claiming to be beyond or wanting to be beyond skin color other than libertarians?
Identity politics is naked racism and bigotry. It is a bald-faced strategy of divide and conquer. The party of slavery, segregation and Jim Crow are never going to shut up about it. In fact, given their success at identity politics they are hitting it harder than ever.
I linked to this before but well worth another look, especially for those that missed it.
https://ussanews.com/News1/2020/11/15/jason-whitlock-tells-tucker-carlson-how-the-media-left-use-language-to-control-black-americans/?__cf_chl_jschl_tk__=fada7da60c181dcd9414430d37d30b0f1953b09c-1606241045-0-Afqf03l7QR2O80FA7U-n_Tqrj1-wjg0HFUCPae3wVX5qeiL1PtXGEAPVYzMuHgcESCgh1qYT1HtkOjygUgOJ8NMJWXy1f0f0O6lVN-Q2XChLHRllqbNFmSfRCbK8jz-Kp77PWpwLVJiyehzkNK0tEoteQCwynnNcBHYfLMARv-BTwgt_02c39lUUPuGPjBucHF0h76SpH9rtpoNdSTmtbnum9LfD3IGLHJ8S0VotYd6_jrS1o1iOatwcOayay7Wv_brj31XdPf6hNiV8iZ3eMThdnM3bhY8xlvVnc6dnn56bAYo9yGjiDM7LIntidrQWJKGw13PMP3C4PCu2ESPrLN7cRK5a6BnKiPqGUnmGBYXl5QQrvZlU7BJjeLuGfmaBubRTeecLd7v9P_a4yh4-TK29Str5J5nmenNXKduBbKfDW0D2pGsZ-i50a7GXQ-Jr6WgSBU3OpNwbotQWDWW4jJM
I suspect everything in that URL past -americans could be stripped.
What do rugby players know about football?
Why were Kiwi ruggers officiating an NFL game?
Anyone else remember Emmett Ashford? He was a First, very flashy and showboat-y, quickly became popular with fans.
Unfortunately, he was shitty at, you know, umpiring.
LOL, Deblasio hasn’t killed the housing market dead enough so now he’s pouring salt on the ruins.
I’m assuming my fatcat landlord will just pluck a few gold coins out of their swimming pool to pay for this and will not even think of passing the cost along to the tenants.
Your landlord’s a leprechaun?
either that or Scrooge McDuck
What are property taxes like in NYC?
*rhetorical, I dont really want to know.
Most of my relatives are in Mississippi and when I told them how much I paid in property taxes, they nearly fucking fainted. And to them the crazy part was that I wasn’t even upset about it. Living in a blue state, you are trained that getting raped in the ass in the form of property taxes is the privilege of living in the state.
Anywhere in the Tri State area is nuts. My grandfather’s old house on Long Island is much the same as mine – a small Cape Cod, around 1300-1400 sq ft – and his property taxes were almost as high as a year of my mortgage payments.
All land lords are millionaires that exploit their tenants.
/Checks bank account, sighs.
If NYC democrats set out to deliberately destroy the city I dont know what they would do differently. I have little empathy as they were elected and I have seen lots of ‘man of the street’ interviews in the city where people support these socialist policies and think having a commie mayor is just spiffy.
My favorite was the one where New Yorkers were asked if they had any conservative or republican friends. The interviewees would curl their lips and say they did not even know any conservatives or republicans. One, when asked why not, answered “Because I am open minded”
It’s got to be something in the water. My guess would be lead.
*apologies to the NYC glibs, but you have to understand what this looks like to people like me. Where I am gun purchases happen in ten minutes and you walk out of the store with your gun. Guns are as common as pig tracks. We have the lowest property taxes in the nation and our state income tax is paltry. Most people here have a ‘fuck off and mind your own business’ attitude. In most of the rural parishes if y ou want to build a house you go to Home Depot and buy hammer, nails, and lumber. Etc., etc.
Louisiana is a hell of a lot closer to Libertaria than the free state project state. Watching the socialist madness in NYC leaves me with my jaw dropped.
Apparently, there’s about 10,000 people in Catahoula Parish (I think that’s where you said you live). Part of NYC’s problem is density but I think the number of people all ruled by one government is an issue too. Split NYC up into semi-autonomous districts of 10,000 and you’d at least some more variety.
“…there’s about 10,000 people in Catahoula Parish…”
…and here I am being an idiot telling people how great it is here.
*I live in Grant parish. We have a whopping 18,000 people and it is rising. People are fleeing here from urban areas. I own timber land in Catahoula. That 10,000 in Catahoula is dropping. All of the young move out as soon as they can and the old are dying off. If I were not married I would move to Catahoula and build my lair there.
Man, I live in a town with more than 18,000 people (like, 3-4 times as many). The county… more than half a million. Compared to what I’m used to, 18,000 is still a ghost town.
The county my Mom grew up in has 6000 people. It is not the smallest population county in the state, but I believe it is the lowest (or 2nd lowest) density. Just over 24 per square mile.
I still don’t know why the FSP didnt pick Wyoming.
Wyoming is under 10k people per state house district.
The FSP original goal was 20k people. Without spreading out at all, they could have been 2 entire state House districts.
Twenty thousand dedicated voters become a major player in that state.
Just to clarify, my Mom was from KY. Those two paragraphs were entirely unrelated points.
there is about 17500 people in my county and has been around that number for 30 years or so. I’m a quarter mile from my nearest neighbor. I love where i live. Nobody messes with anybody. we mind our own business. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
We would definitely consider moving to Louisiana if it weren’t for the climate. Alas….
I haven’t had the pleasure of visiting your state but it too sounds strange from here. Parishes? Civil law? Can’t disinherit your children? Strange pronunciations?
But yes, I sympathize with that sort of frustration, personally or civically. “Scarlett, you’re throwing away happiness with both hands.”
apologies to the NYC glibs, but you have to understand what this looks like to people like me.
Trust me, no apologies necessary. I’m on the less than 24 hour mark to getting the hell out of here. Once the workday and packing are over (that should be about twenty minutes after the movers show up tomorrow morning), my degree of happiness is going to go through the roof. I think for a lot of sensible people, New York never really held the attraction. It was the work that happened to be held hostage to New York. Fortunately, that seems to have changed. For me, at least.
So, it’s dinner on Thursday in DE with my mom, brother and SIL and then the final run down to SC on Friday. Yay!
Hey, congrats!
Thank you. If I can make it out of here with my sanity intact….
Moncks Corner, right?
A big chunk of my neighborhood is NY/NJ transplants. The neighborhood is a mix of houses and townhouses. The townhouse section is almost entirely yankee retirees.
Yup! Although my area is considered a more rural section than it sounds like your neighborhood is. I’m off Dr. Evans Road (Swimmin Hole Lane, to be exact).
Dont swim in it. It **will** have gators.
Isn’t that sort of the point? Arsehole disposal system right in my backyard.
“Governor Cuomo, why don’t you come down and take a walk by the pond?”
Landlords will be flush with cash after rent control, deferred rent, no deferred property taxes, and the depressed NYC property market, so I’m sure this will be easy for them to afford.
We going to see the Yankees playing in a smoky stadium this summer as landlords burn their buildings down?
Just wait til the historical preservation folks wade into that and block replacing single pane windows and do on.
This season of This Old House is dealing with exactly that. Every third thing out of their mouths is “historical commission”.
I’d live in an HOA 10x over before ever living in a historical district.
I can distinctly remember one season that aired when I was a kid that had them fighting over which shades of yellow they could paint a house.
Not which color.
Which SHADE.
I live in a historical dist. And yes, it can be more onerous than an HOA, but mine (the largest in the state!) isn’t so bad.
The key is you have to want to live in an area like this, with the double-hung windows and whatnot.
Dead thread, but: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mills_Act (CA). Disclaimer: have never known anyone living under its auspices.
fuck twitter. i have never used it and am better for it.
‘Tis a gift to be middle-aged (I know you are but a wee babby though). I lived fine for several decades without SM; why start now?
I love it when a plan comes together.
I successfully preserved the detail work I spent so many hours on while spray-priming most of the model. The unprimed areas are needed to glue future assembly. What will be left will get covered with brush on primer.
That is Gorgeous! Preparation meets execution!
Thank you.
I want to get as much of this done by thanksgiving as possible, but I think I don’t have all the bits to make the pilot.
I just spent I don’t know how long painting the area under the turret, including meticulous freehand hazard stripes…
and they almost invisible with the turret on. Though the little details do pop when you look for them.
Only the pilot and cockpit canopy needs assembly now, because I haven’t built the pilot, so I can’t attach the canopy, but that is otherwise ready.
Interesting Ideas Discussed In Boston
So all the snow birds can expect to come back home with their properties utterly destroyed.
Pruitt-Igoe would have worked, if only the City of St. Louis had put the right people in charge.
The CCPV didn’t kill all the homeless?
Yeah, there’s a long history of just grabbing shit. That’s why the founders wrote the 3rd and 5th Amendments. GFY commie.
we are still tweaking our user whitelists and blacklists
Shitlord! The proper terms are allowlist and denylist, because anything related to color must be racist.
Yeah, I’m assuming that was what got him unpersonned.
Ah-ha, yes.
Shouldn’t blacklist be capitalized?
I get here too late to participate in the Morning Links, but I do read them (and the comments) and I want Sloopy to know how much I appreciate what he does here for us.
However, I think he should turn over the fag ball reporting to this guy.
https://mobile.twitter.com/DamCou/status/1329029707782885377
Guns, defending the home and squirrels! https://youtu.be/9cISL-gnXw8
It’s finally snowing, accumulation! and STEVE SMITH!
https://photos.app.goo.gl/Cdo1MJKY4EMxV89C6
Nice job, trashy!
Thanks for the laughs on a cold, dreary day. Here’s another little day brightener:
Larimer County restaurant owners: New COVID order a death sentence; we will not shut down
Time for some old school civil disobedience.
The city of Pasadena is doing the same thing here by refusing to enforce any of this lockdown and curfew BS.
very nice, I get a beer subscription box and have had their blood orange hefeweizen, it was good stuff.
That seems to be what it will take. Either they will arrest/fine everyone or just drop the damn order that isn’t worth anything it is written on.
that is the only thing that will stop this nonsense
It’s spreading!
Police say it would be ‘unsafe’ to shut down Adamson BBQ due to large crowds
Seriously. Anyone who spends about 30 minutes outside of mainstream/deep tech media can learn that this is all bullshit. The virus will do what it will do, masks, lockdowns and ‘experts’ be damned.
I live in something of a bubble of people who can see through most bullshit, and this covid nonsense is no different. There is not a single person in my social circle that thinks the reaction to the virus is anything less than insanity. I can’t wrap my head around the fact that more than half the country is scared to death because they are dumb enough to listen to the lying liars on the TV and believe that this virus is really a threat to them.
Consensus Empathy, Nicety, and Science Orthodoxy Reminder
Most excellent.
Just got back from my local Lowes…. starting to see more acts of defiance. The county I live in has a mask mandate and Lowes requires masks to enter. I encountered two men browsing the aisles with no masks. I only saw them for a few seconds but it appeared to me that other people they passed by really didn’t give a hoot. No remarks, no moving away in terror, not even a stink eye.
I’ve been going into places without a mask, Lowes and HyVee amongst them. My kid works at Walmart so I don’t want to make trouble there (just in case) and CVS is a drugstore, so obviously I’m going to wear a mask there.
I saw one guy at Lowe’s. I saw a lady at HyVee yesterday and a dude the time before that. I saw a lady at the thrift store. Both ladies who were not wearing masks were old and looked like they gave no fucks.
I wish I saw more. I feel alone.
I’ve picked up prescriptions seven or eight times at CVS since June. Only once I was asked to put on a mask. My CVS is in Harvard Square.
Well, you’re a grizzly, I wouldn’t ask you to do anything if I was a snot-nosed punk manning the cash register either.
I see more elderly buck the mask than I do my age. Usually grouchy too, but I like grouchy, they ain’t got time for this BS
I don’t like bringing attention to myself… I’m on the introverted side. I also don’t handle confrontations with random assholes very well either. I figure it’s easier to wear the stupid mask than risk an altercation. For now, anyway. When I venture over to St. Charles county, 10 miles away, no mask mandate and wearing them in most businesses is optional, I shed the stupid mask. Having the law on technically on your side makes telling someone to fuck off and mind their own business much less problematic.
I was recently at Cabela’s and I think the only people in there wearing masks were employees.
It’s good to see.
its been about 50/50 around the town I work in for months now. The only place I know of that enforces the mask wearing is Wal-Mart.
“Lives certainly take precedence over private property interests, especially when private property owners will be compensated,” Beletsky said. “This could also apply to all the hotels that are sitting empty.”
*thinks sadly of all the lampposts with no communists dangling from them*
DaFuq?
Suzette Kelo can explain things to them.
Indeed.
One reason I didn’t like Trump was because he agreed with that decision, never mind him stiffing his contractors all those times.
My FIL has run his own construction business for 40 years. He voted for Trump (both times), mostly because of team loyalty I think. But he grappled with it in 2016 because of Trump stiffing his contractors.
Yes, that was my refrain in 2016: A man who will cheat WITH you will cheat ON you.
One of the things that have run through my mind ever since 2017 is that nothing reported on Trump was true. So, was that true? Or, was it one person’s feels that were magnified, and BSed about? I know some people in construction who also voted for him, so it wasn’t some sort of one-off thing, your FIL.
No, those were reported on years ago, when they happened. I want to say late 80s, early 90s. He was the original “too big to fail.”
He had borrowed so much money that the banks would go under if they didn’t give him more. Then, twice after that he went bankrupt.
Gotcha ‘Mo.
Oops, what I meant to say was that the banks gave him more money in order for him to be able to dig himself out of the hole, which he did.
That time.
The next few…not so much.
“Wearing a mask and not getting the disease is the best way for you to protect your personal liberties,” Remy says. “Your personal liberty won’t matter to you when I put a breathing tube in you, and then you die.”
https://twitter.com/DrKenRemy1/status/1330125769461424128
-1 Patrick Henry
Fuck off, lying slaver.
God, I’m getting tired of the medical profession. What a bunch of pussies.
My Mom works at a hospital and someone was gushing about how much a hero she is. My Mom was like…it’s my job to come in and work. If they stopped paying me, I wouldn’t come in. A hero to me is someone who went above and beyond to help someone and you going to a job albeit potentially dangerous in some cases don’t make one a hero because you’re getting paid.
Buy mom a beer for me. She is a hero for telling the truth.
I think it’s her Southern Baptist background that taught her that receiving praise and adoration for simply doing your job was not at all godly. If you’re paid to perform a service, it’s your duty to do it and do it well.
My dad is a 72 year ER doctor who caught the fucking virus from work two months ago. He has the same attitude. That’s his job and they pay him well. If he was working for free, then maybe a little hero worship is in order, otherwise, he is no different than me going into the plant everyday.
Right? Look at how the media blacklists anyone who doesn’t speak like this man-child. They practically slobbed all over that nurse that said all her patients thought it was a hoax and they all died without even checking her story.
Real medical professionals don’t do this. This is someone who is hoping to capitalize on media attention whoring.
I could also see the warbling lights of emergency vehicles before I pass out after a car accident. Does he make this plea for everything that carries risk in life?
He doesn’t get any of those sweet sweet virtue signaling points for that.
And in case you didn’t notice, we’re back once again to pretending the masks protect the wearer less than a week after the Danish mask study was released.
You try to put a breathing tube in me, I won’t be the one dying you piece of shit.
I had that on my mind. I thought intubation was now considered a no-no and only if things are really crashing. Not like in March where people that had no reason to be in that condition were probably given their death sentence when docs were shoving everyone and anyone on them with nurses and PA that had no experience on how to monitor/use them.
Like what they did to my Wife in Vegas in February?
Cause thats what they did, you know the rest…
I liked Remy better when he was doing the song parodies, this doesn’t even rhyme.
One of favorites: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azqKG6zqAbU
I’m not gonna lie
Your gonna die
You had only one task
Just wear your mask
You write for the Ad Council?
I wish people would pay attention. I just do not understand why it’s not mandated everywhere. We are a spoiled nation , some of us. You’d think everyone would take this serious by now. Thank you for your hard work
“Please enslave me.”
I’d feel so much better if the people with a burning desire to be told what to do would just find themselves a terrible, godawful, controlling, abusive man or woman to scratch that itch for them.
The thing is that they want everyone else to be miserable lest they are forced to come to grips that they are perhaps wrong.
I think it is because they never got the belt or a switch as a child. They want a mommy and daddy forever to guide them through life, to keep them forever safe from the ills of the world because since they have aged, they have realized that it is a damn cruel place even in the best of nations.
My daughter just turned one and one of the things I’ve made clear to my wife is that while we are here to protect her, we are also here to teach her how to become a functioning adult in a what can be at times a fucking brutal world. You teach that there will be adversity and that you’re gonna fail but the most important thing is to always pick yourself up, learn from your mistakes, and keep on trucking. Oh and also, no one is obligated to give you anything or sacrifice their comfort to make you comfortable.
For some reason that I do not completely understand, the medical profession is full of collaborators.
The average doctor spends nearly a decade and a half in post grad education. By the time they’re actually able to practice on their own, they’ve spent 15 years going to class, taking tests, and following orders.
My wife is all shaken up. Guess she was doing eye-scoops on a dog and it freaked out and she nipped it near the eye. We are hoping it only grabbed the eyelid. Luckily good customer but good customers when faced with financial setbacks don’t care if you are the best groomer.
Yikes! the Eye does heal pretty well though, Bon Chance to the Wifey,
So, the dog is 18 yrs old and already blind, but still, my wife is hard on herself and she has reached out to the customer. I told her not to yet, but I can’t stop her.
It will get worked out, there are honorable things afoot,
That is the hope
YouTube Suspends Pro-Trump News Network OANN, Completely Demonetizes Channel Over COVID-19 ‘Cure’ Video
Another Brick in the Wall…….
So half the country will be on Twitter/YouTube and the other half on Parler/Rumble while the few in-between will continue on with life.
When did reporting on a story start being a two sentence headline followed by tweets?
When they realized they can still get clicks through to the ‘article’ and still get paid.
That is very common these days.
I thought it was some COVID WFH related action.
The trend for the last decade (accelerating in the last few years) is for journalists to talk about what people are talking about.
Twitter is just the short cut to what people are talking about.
“Please enslave me.”
Give me infantilization, or give me death.
LOL
People who are too lazy to cook for themselves, and can’t wipe their own asses properly.