“You guys also got the Johnson and Johnson shot?” Seresto asked.
“Yeah,” Kaylieburrow said glumly, her voice wandering around the ceramic spaces of the bathroom.
“I don’t want a blood clot in my brain,” Asterix said, gnawing at the skin on the side of them thumb.
“You be fine,” Seresto said. “It only affects women.”
“I’m a woman, dammit,” Asterix said in an angry whisper, slapping them LUPA.
“Stop deadgentialing yourself,” Seresto and Kaylieburrow said in unison and giggled.
“Everyone shut up!” Kamala said from the stall. “I’m trying to Willie Brown over here!”
“Does that mean, you know, or pooping?” Kaylieburrow asked, almost mouthing the words, miming clicking a mouse.
“Both!” Seresto wrote on her phone and thrust it at Asterix.
Asterix opened them mouth, stuck a finger in, and mimed vomiting.
“What are you doing out there?!?” Kamala demanding, groaning.
“Nothing, ma’am!” Kaylieburrow sang.
“How is the gun control campaign going? You’re supposed to be following that!” Kamala grunted.
“There’s been an uptick in support for gun violence prevention measures since the recent shootings,” Seresto said, “But not enough to go forward with legislation.”
“Then we need more shootings, dammit. Activate the next set of shooters!” Kamala growled.
“But, ma’am, they aren’t supposed to come online until late April,” Kaylieburrow said in a high, frightened voice.
“After that Nation of Islam idiot, we need more white shooters,” Kamala said.
“The riots in Minnesota are going well,” Asterix said.
“The what?” Kamala demanded.
“Sorry, ma’am,” them muttered. “The Righteous Citizen Uprising in Minnesota is going well.”
“I need that money to run in 2024,” Kamala said. “BLM honkies love forking over money. Are we sure Chavin is going to get acquitted?”
“I think we are headed for another summer of rage no matter what happens,” Asterix said.
“Excellent,” Kamala muttered and then groaned again, a groan that went on and on.
“Ma’am?” Kaylieburrow asked.
“Get out, get out, it’s the big one!” Kamala managed.
Asterix, Seresto, and Kaylieburrow scrambled for the bathroom door, shoving each other like they were in a nightclub fire.
Kaylieburrow was pushed to the sticky floor and lightly trampled.
“Help! I’m being lightly trampled!” she cried as Seresto and Asterix shot out into the hallway.