MS. MANNERS

ETIQUETTE EXPERT.

 

STEVE SMITH GLAD BE HERE. HIM BEEN THINKING ABOUT ETIQUETTE. SO NOW HIM HAVE FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN HOOMANS TO SHARE ADVICE WITH! HIM READ OLD HOOMAN MS. MANNERS. SHAKE HEAD…NOT GOOD ADVICE AS STEVE SMITH GIVE.

SO HERE ADVICE FROM STEVE SMITH. STEVE SMITH HAVE BEST MANNERS!

Q: Please help me form a polite response to people on the street who feel they must tell me to put on a mask. I, like many others, suffer from medical issues that make it very difficult to tolerate a face mask for more than a few moments. Ironically, these same medical issues cause me to be at a higher risk for infection and serious consequences from COVID-19.

I self-isolate as much as possible. I sincerely appreciate others wearing their masks, as this helps to protect me and people with similar issues. I want those who are expressing concern about my going without a mask to know I’m not being a jerk; I’m just doing the best I can.

A: STEVE SMITH HALP WITH PROBLEM. HIM COME ALONG WITH YOU. WHEN MASK NAG HAPPEN, HIM PUT ON MASK AND DEAL WITH KAREN. BY DEAL WITH, MEAN RAPE.

MR. SMITH ESQ., WILL HANDLE ALL MASK INQUIRIES

WORD GET OUT SOON, AND NO MORE MASK PESTER. IF NOT WANT WAIT UNTIL STEVE SMITH ESTABLISH YOU REPUTATION, SAY “CDC SCIENCING DOCTORS SAY NO MASKS OUTSIDE. WHYCOME U HATE SCIENCES?” THEN HIT ON HEAD WITH BIG ROCK.

HERE ANSWER!

Q: My community, like many others, encourages recycling, and each household is allotted two open bins for a weekly pickup. Because I live alone, I have extra space left over in my bins, so I allow my neighbor, who has a family of five, to place her overflow into mine.

Ordinarily this would be fine, except that it has led to a regular assortment of her family’s wine bottles being placed on the top of each of my bins, on full display for the neighborhood.

This wouldn’t bother me, except that I am a recovering alcoholic — a fact that many on the street are aware of. This new barrage of liquor-related refuse has led some neighbors to speculate that I’ve relapsed, as I’ve done in the past. I’ve fended off several veiled inquiries probing the possibility of my needing help again, as my denial is never fully believed.

I don’t mind helping my neighbor, but how do I politely ask her to exclude the wine bottles from my bins? It sounds funny to say that I worry about the neighbors examining my recyclables and drawing incorrect conclusions, but in reality, that’s exactly what’s happening.

A: STEVE SMITH KNOW THAT NO GOOD DEED EVER UNPUNISHED. THROW BOOZEHOUND FAMILY BOTTLE BACK IN THEM YARD. SAY YOU SAW RACCOON, IT DID ALL TRASH DUMPING! WHEN OTHER NEIGHBOR LOOK AT THEM, LOUDLY WHISPER ABOUT HOW THEM MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE WCTU MEMBER.

STEVE SMITH EVEN PROVIDE FREE RACCOON.

 

IT ALWAYS EASY BLAME TRASH PANDA.

FREE CASCADIA!