Last Week

This is the book I am following.

Another good read.

I like this one also.

Working on this book currently.

Disclaimer: I’m not your Supervisor. These are my opinions after reading through these books a few times.

Feb 5

“Don’t be bounced around, but submit every impulse to the claims of justice, and protect your clear conviction in every appearance.”
—MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 4.22

Think before you act. I know what I want out of life, so I try to make decisions that will take me in that direction. Right now, getting back in shape is a priority.  During my 7 weeks of being stuck on the couch, I was not as vigilant as I should have been about my diet. I need to balance my impulses and be more restrained. It is important that I am in control of me.

 

Feb 6

“I don’t agree with those who plunge headlong into the middle of the flood and who, accepting a turbulent life, struggle daily in great spirit with difficult circumstances. The wise person will endure that, but won’t choose it—choosing to be at peace, rather than at war.”
—SENECA, MORAL LETTERS, 28.7

I hate drama. I strive to never be one of those people with unnecessary unrest in my life. If something happens outside of my control that creates a crisis I will handle it the best I can. I’ve had friends with drama filled lives and it looked exhausting. Today it comes back to who I married and how I spend my free time. Neither of those creates any drama in my life. Before I let myself get wrapped around the axles of anything, I try to determine if it’s necessary. If it is, then I try to figure out if I can actually do anything about it or would getting involved be counter productive.

 

Feb 7

“Many are harmed by fear itself, and many may have come to their fate while dreading fate.”
—SENECA, OEDIPUS, 992

Never let fear hold you back. Especially fear of something that hasn’t or might not happen. If I fear screwing up a project, so I have trouble finishing, that’s worse than if I did screw it up and then being able to fix it. I used to have crippling shyness because I thought people wouldn’t like me. It took a long time to learn not to care what people thought and then I discovered I could talk to people. The fear was actually causing the condition I was scared of.

Feb 8

“You cry, I’m suffering severe pain! Are you then relieved from feeling it, if you bear it in an unmanly way?”
—SENECA, MORAL LETTERS, 78.17

 

Remember, nobody really cares, so I gain nothing from complaining about problems or setbacks. I didn’t tell anyone at work I was having surgery and probably wouldn’t have if I didn’t get infected and need extra time off. While I do talk to my wife about things, I try not to complain just for the sake of complaining. My mother is the opposite, she makes sure everyone knows she is having chemo and keeps a list of the people who didn’t support her enough. I use this as an example of how not to be.

 

Feb 9

“We have the power to hold no opinion about a thing and to not let it upset our state of mind—for things have no natural power to shape our judgments.”
—MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 6.52

I don’t have to care about things which do not really effect me. My co-workers love to gossip about whoever isn’t in there that day. I don’t know if any of them realize what goes on when they’re not in. I figure they make fun of me also, but I could not care less, so I have no opinion of their opinions about me. I got yelled at once for open carrying my pistol by a teacher looking lady. I held no judgement of her opinion of me and simply told her to have a nice day as I completed my shopping.

 

Feb 10

“There is no more stupefying thing than anger, nothing more bent on its own strength. If successful, none more arrogant, if foiled, none more insane—since it’s not driven back by weariness even in defeat, when fortune removes its adversary it turns its teeth on itself.”
—SENECA, ON ANGER, 3.1.5

I hate anger, it comes on me so suddenly, it seems like by the time I try to think rationally, I’ve already snapped. Ever since the VA hospital refused to give me a scan since I wouldn’t cover my nose, everytime I go in there I end up with high blood pressure because I rile myself up wondering if they’ll kick me out because I don’t cover my nose. Nobody has said a word about it since that one time, but I still upset myself.

 

Feb 11

“Our soul is sometimes a king, and sometimes a tyrant. A king, by attending to what is honorable, protects the good health of the body in its care, and gives it no base or sordid command. But an
uncontrolled, desire-fueled, over-indulged soul is turned from a king into that most feared and detested thing—a tyrant.”
—SENECA, MORAL LETTERS, 114.24

I need to take care of myself, and not let my impulses keep me lazy. I was doing very well at this prior to my surgery. 8 weeks on the couch and not being especially careful about my diet and I am starting over again. The tyrant in me just wants to watch TV and eat whatever. I will be a king and start running and then go back to the gym. The tyrant is a lazy fat fuck, screw him.

 

Feb 11

“Keep constant guard over your perceptions, for it is no small thing you are protecting, but your respect, trustworthiness and steadiness, peace of mind, freedom from pain and fear, in a word your freedom. For what would you sell these things?”
—EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 4.3.6b–8

I try to be honest in everything. I have been told by my mother that I am “painfully honest” She has also said she knows not to ask me a question if she is scared of the answer I might give. At work, I don’t go out of my way to discuss things, but they know if they ask me a direct question, they will get a direct answer. I hate 2 faced people and deal with them as little as possible. I don’t understand how you could live like that. As long as I am honest, I have nothing keeping me awake at nights and if I hurt someone’s feelings, at least it was truth and not an attempt to hurt feelings.

 

My theme song.