It’s weird to look back at what were sideshow freaks in the past. I spent an enraging amount of time in a small town Walmart this past week and I saw at least 30 people that fat or far fatter.

Bearded lady? Dipshit dude in a dress. Alligator boy? Eczema. Little people? There are Mexicans all over the place now.


 

Cracked manages to write an article that doesn’t suck and isn’t wholly retarded. This is straight-up amazing.

5 Reasons Why ‘Batman Beyond’ Has Endured All These Years

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Batman Beyond Has the Best Mr. Freeze Story Ever Told

Mr. Freeze is the story of an unfunny joke being continuously improved upon on TV, not unlike Friends in reverse. In the comics, the character started out as your run-of-the-mill mad scientist named Mr. Zero, which alluded to how many craps people gave about him back then. He was later renamed “Mr. Freeze” in the Adam West Batman show and given a tragic backstory featuring his terminally ill wife in Batman: The Animated Series. But the McGinnis Batman show took Mr. Freeze even further. I mean completely above the super high standard set by B:TAS. Just totally outside the scope of what we already considered a great character. Yonder? (SYNONYM DEPT. NOTE: Stop …)

In the Season 1 episode “Meltdown,” we find out that Mr. Freeze is one of the last surviving original Batman villains because, thanks to his Elsa biology, his cells are incapable of letting go, making him effectively immortal. Although, by 2039, he’s been reduced to just a talking head inside a glass jar. In a weird coincidence, “Meltdown” premiered a month before the first episode of Futurama.


 

Even I can’t follow this and I have a Masters in Retard and 100s of hours of post-bacc research in Drunk Studies.

 


 

“Why do they always send the poor?”