Kaylieburrow coughed loudly. And then again when no one looked up from their phone.

“You’re not sick,” Seresto said as she doom-scrolled through Instagram.

“My lungs hurt, and I’m feverish. I think I’m feverish? Can someone come feel my forehead?”

“You’re not sick. You’ve had all your vaccines,” Seresto told her.

“But Madam Harris has COVID! Mine could be a breakthrough case!” Kaylieburrow said and coughed dramatically.

Astrid stalked over from her cubby and shot a laser thermometer at Kaylieburrow’s forehead. “98.1,” she said. “You don’t have a fever.”

“But Missus Harris…” she began.

“She’s not sick, you moron,” Astrid hissed. “It’s to get her out of the Correspondent’s Dinner. Haven’t you seen her…” She mouthed the words no one was allowed to speak: “Poll numbers?”

Seresto dug her kitten heels into the carpet and dragged her rolling chair over to Astrid and Kaylieborrow. “Sixteen percent,” she said and covered her mouth to giggle.

“We need to get off this sinking ship,” Astrid said. “Go work for someone smart and popular.”

“AOC!” Kaylieburrow squealed. Seresto stabbed a finger into her ribs sharply and she yelped.

“Or we get out of this business entirely,” Astrid continued. “Who knows for how much longer Twitter is even going to be around.”

“Musk man bad,” Kayliebourrow said, clenching her face like a fist. “Free speech is so dangerous. Free Vijaya!”

Astrid pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes until bright stars exploded in the darkness.

“I’m adding a Vijaya flag to my Twitter handle!” Kaylieburrow said excitedly.

“I thought you were leaving Twitter,” Seresto said drily.

“I am, but not before I add that flag!”

“I think we are going to have to stick around at least until the midterms,” Seresto said, pulling Astrid away.

“Yes, we use the chaos of the election to leave,” Astrid said.

“And leave her behind,” Seresto said, cutting her eyes at Kaylieburrow, now in tears and wailing that she couldn’t find a national flag for the non-existent nation of Vijaya.

“No, yeah, that ho has got to go,” Astrid said, her Bronx accent bubbling up. She snapped her mouth shut to stop it, but Seresto seemed not to notice.

“You might end up having to find a job on your own. I’m out of here when my OnlyFans takes off,” Seresto said.

“OnlyFans? My God, what if she finds out? She’ll explode!” Astrid said in an urgent whisper

Seresto waved her concerns away. “It’s OK, you can’t tell it’s me. I only do butt stuff.”