Chinese fat. This has nothing on People of WalMart.

Enter the Fat Dragon

I write this on my phone while camping in a field full of ants, cactus and horse crap. My daughter just told me she would rather pee her pants instead of face a spider in the bathroom on the campsite. Which by the way, is a compost toilet with slat walls*. There Will Be Nature. And I Am Tired of This.  Other girls have been screaming and crying over the heat (95F) and otherwise things have been less than pleasant. Is this camping with ten year olds? God give me strength.  The one joy I had on this camping trip is I taught all the girls about enacting labor.  They spent a good part of the remaining trip asking each other “Are you enacting my labor?  Shouldn’t YOU get your own water?”

I snuck in a Bota box of white wine, which I chilled in the ice chest. I normally hate white wine, but it is fantastic at this moment. At least I go home tomorrow (This was written Saturday – R.J.). 

So what are we doing here? Posting Enter the Fat Dragon? Let me ramble first. Modern kung fu films seem to follow two paths:

  1. CGI festival of kung fu and creatures from Chinese legend
  2. Stunt and humor heavy films following the Jackie Chan formula.

This film falls into category #2!  Very Jackie Chan-like in stunts and humor. An entertaining movie overall.  A cop eats everything in sight to get over his emotional problems and becomes the Chinese version of fat.  It is hilarious to see people slinging fat jokes at a guy who has a basic USA dad bod.  A little GilbFit and he’ll be fine.

You may have come here thinking this was the famous Enter the Fat Dragon with the great Sammo Hung.  It is not.  I am still striving to find newer films right now so I am showing this, which is of no relation to the original save for the title and the inclusion of fat jokes. Never you mind what Wikipedia says, it’s run by commies.  I included a link to the 1978 Sammo Hung film in the link above. You can watch both and decide if you think this is a remake, or it just shares a common fat-phobia.

So watch!  Or don’t!  Everything is voluntary!  Next week is… Audience Choice!  I need some B movies!  I have played too many new films lately. Pick something from the stack below:

  • H.G. Wells Shape of Things to Come:  This is a disco-era version and NOT the 1936 classic.  Spandex and space battles abound!  It has Jack Palance in it so you know it’s quality.
  • Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity:  It’s a Charles Band classic that surprisingly few people have seen (or remembered).  It has bikini babes in peril and a guy playing The Most Dangerous Game.
  • The Lost Empire:  Holy Blue Balls Batman!  Angus Scrimm as a wizard! Bikini babe warriors! and… Big hair!

*I handed my daughter the Harbor Freight Bug Racket and she carried it into the compost toilet.  I heard the sound of it discharging, over and over for about five minutes.

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