“And the war is going well?” Joe asked.

“Very well, sir,” Karine said. “Gas prices in Europe should have the entire continent shivering all winter.”

“Well, that’s what Europe gets for invading Afghanistan,” Joe said, turning to look out the fake window in the Oval Office set.

“And your approval ratings are way up after your speech,” Karine said.

“What are they now?”

“73% You’re the most popular President ever!”

“More popular than Barry?”

“Way more popular, sir. Beloved. I’d say you are beloved.”

“But not too popular, right? I don’t want Hillary to kill me.”

“I’ll double the Secret Service shifts, sir.”

“Good. I don’t want anyone getting into the White House.”

“Daddy!” Hunter squealed from the shadows.

“My son! My beautiful son!” Joe cried, holding out his shaking hands.

Hunter pranced into the light, his jockstrap gleaming, his Adidas shoes whiter than his father’s porcelin teeth. He stopped to strike a pose.

“I need more Ukraine money,” Hunter said, pouting. He walked up to the replica Resolute desk and lay across it. “A few billion, maybe? Ten, at most.”

“I shouldn’t be hearing this,” Karine said, her eyes wide.

“Executive privilege, honey,” Hunter said blithely. “It’s just us girls here, after all.”

“No, I have to go,” she said and trotted off stage left. But she stopped, gasped, and screamed. “What is that?” she asked, pointing.

With a few adorable grunts, a huge rodent walked into the studio.

“That’s Finnegan, my capybara,” Hunter said.

“Finnegan?” Joe asked. “Bring her over here. I want to kiss my granddaughter.”

“This is a pet?” Karine asked again, moving away from it.

“Yes, they are all the rage right now,” Hunter said. “The Insta-Animal of the moment.”

“Does it bite?” she asked.

“Only lesbians,” Hunter said and laughed.

“Lesbians?” Joe asked excitedly.

“It’s just a joke, Daddy,” Hunter said. “Finnegan doesn’t bite anyone. She’s a very good girl.”

“And you named it after your daughter?” Karine asked.

“Why not? It’s a perfectly good name,” Hunter replied.

“That’s a funny-looking dog,” Joe said, peering over the edge of the desk.

Finnegan threw back her head and yawned, showing her huge buckteeth.

“Are you Daddy’s girl?” Hunter asked. “Are you Daddy’s good girl?”

“Bring it up here,” Joe said. “I want to kiss it.”