OK, I’ve been super-ranty lately, salty about all manner of things. Sleeplessness, chronic pain issues, not enough recreational drugs, the usual stuff. But I feel like I’ll be fine once everyone STOPS BEING A FUCKING IDIOT!

Oops. I slipped again. Damn, SugarFree, get your head in the game, son!

One of the many outrages of the week is Fox News making fun of this phone call by Joe to Hunter.

 

Of course, the Democrats have focused on how mean it is that anyone would dare make fun of a father supporting his son during drug addiction. But maybe it is because in 99.99% of similar scenarios the father is not the co-sponsor and supporter of drug law that have thrown MILLIONS OF PEOPLE IN JAIL FOR BREAKING THE SAME LAWS AS HIS JUNKIE SON!

(See, I got ranty again.)

 

Biden Proposal Could Lead to Employee Status for Gig Workers

The Labor Department on Tuesday unveiled a proposal that would make it more likely for millions of janitors, home-care and construction workers and gig drivers to be classified as employees rather than independent contractors.

Companies are required to provide certain benefits and protections to employees but not to contractors, such as paying a minimum wage, overtime, a portion of a worker’s Social Security taxes and contributions to unemployment insurance.

The proposed rule is essentially a test that the Labor Department will apply to determine whether workers are contractors or employees for companies. The test considers factors such as how much control workers have over how they do their jobs and how much opportunity they have to increase their earnings by doing things like offering new services. Workers who have little of either are often considered employees.

The new version of the test lowers the bar for that employee classification from the current test, which the Trump administration’s Labor Department created.

The proposal would apply only to laws that the department enforced, such as the federal minimum wage. States and other federal agencies, like the Internal Revenue Service, set their own criteria for employment status.

But many employers and regulators in other jurisdictions are likely to consider the department’s interpretation when making decisions about worker classification, and many judges are likely to use it as a guide.

As a result, the proposal is a potential blow to gig companies and other service providers that argue their workers are contractors, though it would not immediately affect the status of those workers.

As our dear Contributor Nephilum put it: This worked out so well in California. Let’s roll it out nationwide.

Terrible ideas just work better when scaled up. Then it’s everyone failure and the people trying to avoid blame can say “It’s not like we had small scale implementation in a single state to show us this was a bad idea on the national scale.” Then the circle of responsibility gets narrower and narrower until the people that didn’t want it at all are to blame for not wanting it to be implemented just didn’t support it enough.

 

Anyone else find this image disturbingly sexual? No? Just me? Fine.

 

Cow’s heart, liver… and filtered water! Erling Haaland reveals his unusual diet which has helped take his game to another level, having hit his 20th goal of the season already for Manchester City

Manchester City’s star striker Erling Haaland has revealed his bizarre diet of heart and liver that has helped him take the game by storm.

Haaland has had a remarkable start to his career at the Etihad, scoring 20 times in just 12 games.

He has 15 in nine Premier League matches and five in three Champions League games since joining City for £51million from Borussia Dortmund this summer.

His start to life at City has been hugely impressive and the Norwegian has lifted the lid on his Hannibal Lecter-style diet in a documentary called Haaland: The Big Decision.

Showing off huge chunks of heart and liver from his butcher, he said: ‘You (other people) don’t eat this, but I am concerned with taking care of my body.

‘I think eating quality food that is as local as possible is the most important.

‘Or the local cow eating grass right over there? I eat the heart and the liver.’

Hannibal Lecter? Bizarre? Liver and heart have been human staples since we first learned to beat an antelope to death with a rock. I mean [checks article] these are beef organs we are discussing, not human. Fancy pâté is often liver-based, as is highly-priced and coveted foie gras.

Is it the heart that is supposed to be weird? Beef heart is delicious. It’s some of the beefiest beef that ever beefed. Grilled beef hearts feature in many cuisines. And I’ve even had cœur de beuf tartare. It was amazing. A peak food experience. (I’ve eaten chicken and lamb hearts as well.)

What the fuck, British press? You are a culture that eats kidneys, you know. Steak and kidney pie? Besides, if you’ll eat an eel from the Thames, you might as well eat out of the medical waste dumpster behind a dermatology clinic.

 

Apparently, Lump is on the back of a lot of people’s necks today.

 

Song: “Ballroom Blitz”
Artist: Sweet
Album: Sweet Fanny Adams (1974)

Are you ready Steve? Uh-huh
Andy? Yeah
Mick? Okay
Alright fellas, let’s go!

Oh it’s been getting so hard
Living with the things you do to me
My dreams are getting so strange
I’d like to tell you everything I see

Oh, I see a man in the back as a matter of fact
His eyes was as red as the sun
And the girl in the corner that no one ignores
‘Cause she thinks she’s the passionate one

Oh yeah! It was like lightning
Everybody was frightening
And the music was soothing
And they all started grooving
Yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah

And the man in the back said, “Everyone attack”
And it turned into a ballroom blitz
And the girl in the corner said, “Boy I want to warn you”
It’ll turn into a ballroom blitz
Ballroom blitz, ballroom blitz, ballroom blitz, ballroom blitz

Oh reaching out for something
Touching nothing’s all I ever do
Oh I softly call you over
Then you appear there’s nothing left of you

And the man in the back is ready to crack
As he raises his hands to the sky
And the girl in the corner is everyone’s mourner
She could kill you with a wink of her eye

Oh yeah! It was electric
So frantically hectic
And the band started leaving
‘Cause they all stopped breathing
Yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah

And the man in the back said, “Everyone attack”
And it turned into a ballroom blitz
And the girl in the corner said, “Boy I want to warn you”
It’ll turn into a ballroom blitz
Ballroom blitz

Oh yeah! It was like lightning
Everybody was frightening
And the music was soothing
And they all started grooving
Yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah

And the man in the back said, “Everyone attack”
And it turned into a ballroom blitz
And the girl in the corner said, “Boy I want to warn you”
It’ll turn into a ballroom blitz
Ballroom blitz, ballroom blitz, ballroom blitz, ballroom blitz

It’s, it’s a ballroom blitz
It’s, it’s a ballroom blitz
It’s, it’s a ballroom blitz
Yeah, it’s a ballroom blitz