Merry Christmas goyim! Wherever you are, whoever you spent it with, whatever your beliefs, and whatever your personal circumstances, I hope it has been a great day for you. I don’t imagine many of you are going to see this since you will be with family and/or watching football.

No one wants to discuss fitness today. Instead, I’m rolling with this week’s ongoing theme of posting Christmas music. As all of you know, I am a huge fan of hard rock and heavy metal. When I went looking for Christmas music within those genres, I expected to find a very limited number. I was wrong. Very wrong. To my great surprise, I had to cull the list to keep this post manageable.

Fair warning: most of these are original songs, faithful renditions, or outright comedic. None of them are deliberately sacrilegious. Having said that, this all hard rock and heavy metal. If you are expecting choir music, then look elsewhere.

 

 

Without further ado, here is my nonexclusive list of some of the best hard rock and heavy metal Christmas songs:

MikeS’ favorite Christmas song. I recently learned this was written by the lead guitar player after reading about some of then-multimillionaire, playboy Donald Trump’s extracurricular activities.

The Christmas song Tundra is singing to his wife tonight. It was well received by GlibFitters last year so it’s no surprise.

These guys put out an entire Christmas album. In this one they look ridiculous but do a traditional rendition of a classic. This one is comical.

Metal? Goth? Both? You be the judge.

These guys wish they were as funny as Steel Panther. It’s still a fun song.

Was this their tryout for Trans Siberian Orchestra? I have no other explanation.

Satchel played with him in Fight! I never expected a Christmas album from him but here we are.

The pairing is completely unsurprising. However, I would never have expected this from them.

More outlandish costumes than KISS and a head scratching song.

How on earth do these guys not have a Christmas album? They need a Jewish manager.

I want the backstory on how this was made. He was 90 and a knight when this was recorded. Even crazier, his follow up Christmas album produced a song that hit number 18 on the Billboard chart, making him the oldest performer to chart.

I can’t believe there is a video for this song. Only there are so few music videos made in the 70s.

This is not a Christmas song, but it does involve Jesus. Cut (((me))) some slack. It’s Christmas.

For anyone who didn’t get to watch all the Christmas movies they wanted too, here is a two minute highlight reel.