I used to paticipate in photoshop contests on Cracked.com. Back when they were funny. I made some money at it, before I found this grift of getting crazy internet randos to pay me to make shitty cartoons. Since so many of you link to the shitty shit on Powerline I figured I may as well share some of my favorites from those days. These are in no particular order, and I can’t remember the prompts given, so you’re left to figure out the joke yourself.
I have more, if you want to see them, let me know.
(In May we are having Glib’s Gulch right here at my house. Info is in the forums under meet ups.)
ED-209s unionized and demanded ADA accessable offices to guard.
Back the blue!
Good stuff as usual
Peyton gets his old job back!
Lol
Daisy and the corkscrew. Awesome.
…and Donald’s Anticipation Smile…
Not only is the “Bad Dates” search window hilarious, it reminds me of something you’re probably too young to know
Oh lordy I remember reading about that somewhere (The Jargon File?). Not pretentious enough to use it.
It was inspired by a similar code for the bear subculture…
Always codes with you people.
Programmers, technical types, and conspiracy theorists. Of course it’s all codes.
On the main page photo, the naked guy is wearing a left boot on his right foot. I’m triggered.
It’s Stalin, he only wears lefts.
Best in Show joke?
These are fun. Back at my first “real” job in the late 90’s we did some stuff with Photoshop, mostly to pictures of each other, our bosses, etc. Once we tried to convince a co worker that I was married, and we faked a wedding photo. Good times.
Lol. We put my boss’s face on Arnold’s Mr. Olympia pic, framed it and hung it in his office.
We would probably get fired for ours. Our boss had a cheesy photo of himself at a desk on the phone they put on the company web site. We got a PG-13 photo of a stripper, put his secretary’s head on it, and put that on the desk. We were not nice people.
Show us your
titspics!You don’t want to see my tits.
Your aviary needs work?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AoAmmiTzliI
The Stalin one is money. Well done!
My fave too. I laughed even before I opened up anything.
*checks watch*
https://bookriot.com/calvin-and-hobbes-creator-bill-watterson-to-release-new-book-in-2023/
“This new book comes 28 years after Patterson retired from Calvin and Hobbes”
Well, now I’m depressed.
From memory he’s done two sets of comics since retiring. One for the documentary Stripped, the other filling in for Pearls Before Swine. I believe he still lives in the area, but he’s always been reclusive. I’m hoping the new book brings him out a bit.
The series for Pearls was great.
The National Enquirer one is fantastic.
And yes, I believe Matt Lauer got a monkey pregnant.
That was my first thought on seeing that picture, too.
My dream is to have enough land to launch and recover model rockets from the back yard.
I am disappointed to see that Estes does not offer mutistage units with F motors.
Why not build your own? I blew up a few before I got it right.
Ah, i think I’ve figured out why. Too much propellant puts you into high powered (more regulated) rocketry. So does excessive altitude.
There is a company that makes much bigger rockets for amateurs, lemm find it
That’s only allowed for the Chinese
At my recent shotgun class (post in development), the instructor told us a story from his childhood. He had model rockets, and of course put together a big one. They lived near an AF base in Colorado, and the valley he lived in was used for low-altitude training flights. So he takes his big new rocket out, lights it off, and right then a couple of F-16s come down the valley. The rocket set off their threat radars and they went into evasive maneuvers and scrammed.
That afternoon, some security people showed up at his house (I asked, but they were not dressed in black) and told him not to do that any more in their controlled airspace. I figured it was excellent training, and they should give him a heads up when they were planning to fly the valley.
What is he doing?
Showing off that as a LGBTQ BIPOC (D) he’s untouchable?
Imploding in real time.
Or he’s showing that he knows who has kids in their basement at CNN.
Seems like he wants out with pay, but might be taking it too far.
She’s 6 years younger than he is.
Women live longer but peak too soon.
Proving that Don Lemon is a catty bitch.
Chinese spy balloon was a weather balloon all along:
https://youtu.be/VC2QZW3LvdM
Wizzleteats called it way back when it was still overflying the US. That guy’s pretty smart.
Obviously a lie by the Manchurian President. Say no to China Joe. Bomb Beijing now!
Yes. The OMGSPYBALLOON bullshit was contrived from the beginning.
Why did they get mad that we shot it down?
Because we were turning it into an international incident.
It wasn’t an international incident until they complained and threatened retaliation. I still don’t get why they were so upset about an innocent weather balloon (which doesn’t look anything like a normal weather balloon, by the way) being shot down in our airspace.
Have you forgotten about all the congresscritters and various talking heads who were screaming for us to fly bombers over Beijing?
The theatrics were hysterical.
Did they actually get mad or did the media tell you they were mad according to anonymous sources?
Well, they turned around and accused us of flying spy balloons over their country, and of being the world’s biggest user of foreign surveillance technology. Which may be true, but it makes you wonder why they need to point that out, when it was just a silly little weather balloon. A weather balloon which looked like this, by the way:
https://twitter.com/Stormchaser_TS/status/1621622839592853504
They pointed that out because that’s what countries typically do when competitors start throwing accusations around.
Of course. “Well you do it too!” is a very typical response.
It collected climate data that did not support The Narrative.
Bravo
You’ll learn the REAL Truth next Wednesday night.
🙂
This is embarassing:
https://twitter.com/DanLamothe/status/1626288489745510401
Sure, a weather balloon that just happened to maneuver directly over multiple US military bases and ballistic missile silos. Sure.
So the Chicoms control the jet stream? Because that week that was the path the balloon followed.
Well, that settles it, no need to question the current narrative.
Well, it’s a tough call. Tell us it was an actual spy balloon, to justify their tuff gai stuff, or tell us it’s just a weather balloon, so no harm done when they let it overfly the entire country?
A real dilemma. Telling the truth because it’s the truth isn’t on the table. It’s purely a question of which they think best serves their interests. Could be the truth, could be a lie. Who knows?
The problem is, this has now become the strategy in every single scenario. There’s no more truth and no one has credibility. It’s amazing how much we’ve become like the late Soviet Union. A huge portion of the population knows that the people in charge are just making it up as they go along and have the gaslighting permanently turned up to 11. All we can do is shrug and make jokes about it until it collapses on itself.
We shrug and joke, but the recently red pilled people are either horrified at what’s going on or looking for a box of blue pills. Or both.
My theory is that TDS was basically people choosing to swallow entire bottles of blue pills at a time for fear that the things that a single red pill showed them might be true.
*passes Compelled Speechless the bottle*
*puts another minnow on the hook*
Joe clears things up.
So we shot three multi-million dollar missiles and destroyed objects in the air without knowing what they were? What could go wrong?
And yet it doesn’t answer the question of why, if it really were a weather balloon, they didn’t simply announce this as soon as it went off course.
Or, to put it another way, it may well have been “just” a weather balloon, but the PRC wanted to engender this sort of response.
Why? Cause they are on week #2 of controlling the news cycle with it.
It does make a better headline than “America blew some shit up, lied about it and justified starting WW3.”
The “they” in the first paragraph referred to the PRC. Although I suppose they have their own reasons for wanting to control the international news cycle. It’s not as if they really have to worry about the domestic news cycle.
Gotcha, I was talking about why the lie from our own government and slow walking out the truth or knowledge.
OT – Enjoy a deep dive into how commies are taking over Chicago now, with the rest of the country to follow. Clever of them to work through the teacher’s unions – I mean, who pays attention to them?
What cannot continue indefinitely, will not continue indefinitely.
And when it comes undone, it will be spectacular.
“Is that a helicopter?”
The Fat Albert is my favorite. I am stealing that.
Some of my latest Photoshoppery (I use it a lot for work)
Need to do Womb Raider
Boob Raider
Or stuff like this for ad concepts.
Getting ready for the inevitable heart meds for vaccinated kids market?
This was pre-Covid so it was for something else but I can’t exactly remember.
I like Scruffyy’s explaination.
OK.
People in the office are starting to use Chat GPT. I got someone to do the Trump/Biden poem test. It turns out the algorithm has been modified. It no longer simply says it cannot do a Trump poem because OMB. It provides a disclaimer then proceeds with a relatively fair-ish poem. However, there is no disclaimer for Biden and the poem does nothing but laud him in exceptional cringe fashion. It is not AI. It is a wokebot that was discovered and now the creators are attempting to hide it.
LOL. RT turned the Sturgeon resignation article into a reprint of Trump’s tirades against her.
https://www.rt.com/news/571593-trump-nicola-sturgeon-resignation-golf/
Nothing to see here
Consumer debt hit a fresh record at the end of 2022 while delinquency rates rose for several types of loans, the New York Federal Reserve reported Thursday.
Debt across all categories totaled $16.9 trillion, up about $1.3 trillion from a year ago, as balances rose across all major categories.
Despite a decline in originations, mortgage balances increased to $11.9 trillion, up about $250 billion from the third quarter and about $1 trillion from a year ago. Originations for new home loans and refinancings fell to $498 billion, less than half where they were for Q4 in 2021 and a drop of about $135 billion from the third quarter.
Mortgage loans considered in “serious delinquency” of 90 days or more rose to a rate of 0.57%, still low but nearly double where they were from the year prior. Auto loan debt delinquencies rose 0.6 percentage point to 2.2%, while credit card debt jumped 0.8 percentage point to 4%.
“Credit card balances grew robustly in the fourth quarter, while mortgage and auto loan balances grew at a more moderate pace, reflecting activity consistent with pre-pandemic levels,” said Wilbert van der Klaauw, economic research advisor at the New York Fed.
The economy is booming, praise Biden.
Uh… they usually do in Q4. How does it compare to previous years? Or without the seasonality?
Chatbot poetry-
Roses are red
violets are blue.
Trump is a racist
and I’m reporting you to HR.
I feel kinda dumb for asking, but who is that under Marty in the TARDIS pic? I can’t make it out on my phone.
Jean Claude Van Damme in Time Cop
Thanks! Never happened to see that one.
Whaaaa?
There is a “news report” about Bankman Fried using a VPN “to watch the super bowl”. WTF? don’t his mommy and daddy have a teevee at their house?
That idiot’s going to get his bail revoked and forfeited if he isn’t careful.
Saw an article about who posted bail for him. Turns out it was a dean from Stanford Law and some Stanford computer scientist.
https://nypost.com/2023/02/15/sam-bankman-frieds-bail-backers-are-larry-kramer-andreas-paepcke/
The actual amount of bail posted was minuscule compared to the big $250MM headline number.
“Kramer, who was dean of law school from 2005 to 2012, signed a $500,000 bond on Bankman-Fried’s behalf, while Paepcke signed a $200,000 bond. The bonds represent the amount of money that Kramer and Paepcke would owe if Bankman-Fried does not return to court as mandated.”
Doesn’t even sound like anybody put up any cash.
It’s all bullshit. Everything. Bullshit. Naturally, I don’t think any of the usual news outlets said anything about it. The Post is the only one I see with a story on it.
Yup. Paepcke is retired research staffer, not even a professor, supposedly signing $250K guarantor notes..? And the other guy is a former dean but is currently spending Bill Hewlett’s hard earned money on garbage bullshit like every other named foundation/leftist slush fund.
^^
Money versus Monetary Policy
Swindle is a good word.
When the Catholic Church basically ruled over Europe, they intentionally kept the Bible in Latin so that only trained priests could read it. According to them, no one else could hope to understand it any way and letting them attempt it would only lead to incorrect interpretations. More cynical minds might think it had more to do with being able to control and even wholesale lie about it’s contents and meaning.
Not sure why I would draw such a parallel here.
Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
Many people intuitively understand money. What they don’t understand is monetary policy. The idea that exceedingly intelligent people at central banks and national treasuries must “run” complex monetary “systems” surely is one of the greatest swindles ever perpetrated.
For example, the media are trumpeting Biden’s genius plan to carpet the nation with EV charging stations, using money conjured out of thin air. Who considers the effect of that on the greater economy? Nobody.
Lump sad!
He just needs a Covid booster shot. Guaranteed to cure depression!
Ooof.
Malice comes in hot.
lulz
This is the top response I see.
Preet is furiously masturbating and crying to that thread
VP material
From your lips to God’s ear. That would be too glorious to hope for.
The article only mentions that Fetterman checked in. Presumably lump has been removed and placed into a new thoughtless bionic shell a al Krang and will still be available to vote yes on multi-trillion dollar spending bills written by lobbyists and their think tanks that none of his legislative collogues read.
He’s Lump! He’s Lump!
Gisele didn’t watch South Park last night.
Piss off.
You wanted the limelight, regardless of Lump’s condition. Note you’re going to get it.
TEAM BLUE spent four years arguing Trump was mentally unfit to serve and needed to be ousted via the 25A. Fetterman was unfit to serve from the day he had his stroke, and now he’s probably got something more serious than clinical depression, and we’re not supposed to speculate about a TEAM BLUE politician?
I’d ask Gisele this in a tweet, but she doesn’t let randos reply to her tweets.
Senators don’t get “privacy”. It’s the tradeoff you make for the power and money.
It’s the one Faustian bargain they make where they haven’t figured out how to pass on the negative externalities to the taxpayer……yet.
Fuck off. He’s an elected official. His privacy is very much a secondary concern at this point.
You know she can just taste that gubernatorial appointment to replace him.
Earthquake bed.
Pass.
UAS owners/operators about to get further regulations up the ass.
Remote ID?
That Daily News story needs to have a photo of Biden in it now.
UFOs? The Bee is on it.
https://babylonbee.com/news/ok-take-us-to-a-different-leader-say-exasperated-aliens-after-trying-to-communicate-with-joe-biden
Good lord. They just keep getting better!