If you have anger issues, this one is a great tool (h/t mindyourbusiness)
This week’s book:
Disclaimer: I’m not your Supervisor. These are my opinions after reading through these books a few times.
Picking up where I left off with Seneca’s letters to his friend and student, Lucilius Junior, an official in Sicily.
I am summarizing a part of the letter in italics and then responding in normal text.
On Festivals and Fasting
It is December and people are celebrating Saturnalia and to Seneca it seems there is no difference between the festival and a normal day because the festival has extended through the years. Seneca is curious what Lucilius’s opinion would be, if they should join the celebration in order to blend with the crowd or would he think they should keep their own routine.
I had the same questions sometimes when I was younger. It was a party every weekend in the Marine Corps and I let myself get dragged to many strip clubs even though that was never a good time to me.
It took longer than it should have to decide that I was not going to go to them any more. None of my good friends complained, we started going to pool halls and Irish pubs instead.
The ones who insisted on strip clubs were not really the type I liked to hang out with anyway.
According to Seneca, it shows more self control to be out among the partiers without losing your self control as many of them do. It is OK to celebrate without extravagance.
I used to drink with my friends a lot. I can count on my fingers the number of times I have gotten blackout drunk. Being a confirmed beer drinker helped and the few times I got really drunk were when I mixed the beer with hard liquor.
Seneca then gives Lucilius a challenge: to impose hardship on himself for a set number of days in order to strengthen his spirit in case fortune deserts him and he winds up destitute. In the same way a soldier trains and toils in peace time in order to prepare for combat, Lucilius will be ready for a trial which he has grown accustomed to.
I do not do this, maybe I should, but I grew up poor and spent the first 20 years of my marriage without many luxuries. I think I have practiced enough. If fortune should turn against me, I believe I have the muscle memory to endure. Maybe this is wishful thinking, and I hope it never gets put to a real test.
Seneca reminds Lucilius that just because he is doing this self imposed poverty, do not be impressed with himself, for a great many slaves and poor people live this way every day. In comparison, it is easy to do it by choice for a few days. If he does this Lucilius will appreciate what he has even more and feel more well off than before he practiced poverty. Seneca then gives another quote from Epicurus, who would also practice self denial, saying he managed to live on less than a penny a day, while another practitioner that was not as advanced needed a whole penny.
If you get used to a certain level, anything above that feels heavenly. I realized this one day in 29 Palms. For those of you who don’t know, that is in the Mojave Desert in between Los Angeles and Las Vegas. I was in artillery and we were in the middle of a 6 week field op in July. It was over 110° and we had not had ice for a few days.
After another brutal day of setting up, shooting the howitzers a few times, then tearing down and moving 5 or 6 times, we had a little break for evening chow and got ice. After dinner I was sitting on the ground, leaning on a five ton tire and drinking my Gatorade powder with ice.
I was very happy to be doing this. I still remember that feeling of pure bliss. Then it hit me, this is how the Marine Corps keeps us going. It gives us just enough to make us happy just often enough so we enjoy those little moments.
Seneca says it takes a high character to enjoy the lowest quality food, but none to enjoy fancy food. Also those who scorn wealth are close to the Gods. Having wealth is not a problem, but being unable to live without it is. The only way to do this is to learn how to live happily without it and understand that it could all disappear quickly.
I enjoy simple food, but not necessarily poor food. It is a running joke with one of my wife’s friends that I don’t enjoy fancy restaurants. So maybe I have a middling character. I do agree that not being dependent on a lavish lifestyle is better for your soul and try to keep the mindset that all of my current lifestyle is not guaranteed to me.
Seneca ends the letter with another quote from Epicurus, “Ungoverned anger begets madness” He the reminds Lucilius that anger can come against people you hate as well as those you love. it can come just as easily from a serious situation as it can from joking. Anger is like fire, it doesn’t matter where it starts, it matters more what it catches a hold of.
This has been one of my biggest struggles and the one thing Stoicism has helped me with the most. I have learned to keep my anger under control even when it rises in me as a great conflagration, I do not give it an easily burned material anymore.
Last week, my wife went to visit her fiends in North Carolina, about a 3 hour drive. She came home at around 6 and had no plan for dinner. I was hungry and felt a flash of anger.
I would not have yelled at her, and would have tried to hide it in years past, but she would have known and we might have been both upset by the end of the day.
Now I was able to laugh at myself and suggest a Peruvian chicken from Charcoal Chicken. She was tired, and now she didn’t have to cook, I was tired and no longer angry to add to our tiredness. It also helps that the chicken and the side dishes are delicious. Progress!
Music this week is Suicidal Tendencies.
They have a few really good albums and some excellent songs.
This is one of my all time favorites, the video quality sucks, but it is the only uncensored version I can find.
Can you say feel like BEEP just doesn’t work.
This is the first song I ever heard from them:
I’m not crazy!
You’re the the one that’s crazy!
You’re driving me crazy!
There’s nothin’ wrong with this brain:
Great music!
I love ST. Great choice!
Also those who scorn wealth are close to the Gods.
It is interesting to me how wealth is treated similarly by the Stoics and Christians. Not inherently bad, but can be a serious impediment to redemption/success.
Thanks as always Ron!
Agree with your observation, but I don’t fully agree with the sentiment expressed. If wealth is earned honestly, through enterprise and trade, then it’s not only acceptable but good and honorable. That’s how an economy grows.
But if it’s taken through graft, fraud or force, (see: Biden, Hunter) then it is inherently bad, and wrong, and beyond redemption.
I think it’s not wealth or how it’s earned that is the issue.
I think it’s more of a love of money, luxuries, and status being so important that living at a poverty level would be an unbearable ordeal.
Had a business professor who talked about little ‘g’ greed and capital ‘G’ greed.
Little ‘g’ = having the ambition to work hard enough to feed and house your family, live a decent lifestyle, maybe retire eventually.
Capital ‘G’ = ignoring morals and ethics to earn far beyond what you would need to lead a normal life.
There are very successful people who I have known who have built successful businesses all on the up and up, but are still so ambitious/driven that I wouldn’t consider them to be healthy people.
They created a ton of wealth for themselves and others, didn’t break any rules/laws. But they have never attended their kids’ games or recitals. Their home life comes in a complete second to their work life.
It just seemed to me to be a sad life to live. They really could care less about what they could do with their wealth. To them wealth was just a measuring stick to see how they are doing against their competition.
Good call Sir, we should never forget…..
The premise is your spirit isn’t fed by wealth – that is your material being talking. The difference in pagan philosophers and pious believers is all the difference in the world.
I can see that, but I’m thinking that the latter would likely put you out of the running for either Stoicism or Christianity regardless!
Hell, abject poverty isn’t really needed to appreciate the little or big luxuries. Earning something is where the value lies. If you earned or worked for something and had to take trade offs to obtain it it means much more.
Case in point, it’s taken us nearly 15 years to buy the land next to our home and build the garage we wanted since we moved in. We had to save and forego a lot to be able to get both. This week the structure was built and next week it will be finished.
This means so much more to us than buying the house with both already included.
The “I Have Made It” purchase. My dad talked about that a lot. His purchase was a new shotgun he really wanted. All his previous guns had been hand me downs or used purchases. He was so proud of that shotgun.
For me it was the first computer I bought new (not from parts, not floor model, etc.).
Yeah it was special because I had spent the previous years dirt poor. So finally graduating college, getting a decent job and saving up finally got me the thrill of unboxing a new computer.
Neeeeeerd!!!!
we enjoy those little moments
I still treasure being able to take a dump on the porcelain throne. Luxury.
And at the same time, I’m grateful for the experience of field hygiene. I was driving through nowhere in a NF last fall, dozens of miles from any available toilet when I had a sudden attack of needing to go right then. Find a spot to turn off, grab a shovel, and one cat hole dug and covered. Better than the alternative by a country mile.
I’ve left a few woods-cookies buried in various places around the country myself.
[Looks at avatar, shrugs]
Guess that answers that question.
Age old question answered definitively.
I’d call that a win.
The twist is he’s actually burying woodworking buiscuts and really relieves himself in an indoor bathroom.
porcelain throne. Luxury
Even just the difference between a clean porto and one that’s been filled and stewing in hot weather.
That implies the existance of the former. I postulate that they do not exist.
I can personally attest to the existence of such, and the immediate ensuing need to enjoy it’s brief circumstance.
If she was driving 6 hours round trip, why would you expect her to have a plan for dinner in the first place? Maybe I misread, but damn, dude.
I’m usually in charge of dinner, but in our case, the person at home would do the cooking.
I got home from work about the same time she got home.
Usually when she goes on day trips like this she has left overs in the fridge or something easy set up.
I admit she has spoiled me.
Ah, I see. Leftovers are awesome.
It didn’t help that I was hungry as well.
On demand sandwiches are part of the marital contract in most cultures.
I think those pages were missing from my contract.
Same.
Look under the “Do it yourself, Shitbird” addendum.
Clearly Bobarian read the fine print.
You just gotta know how to say it the right way
We would have discussed, before she even left, expected time of return; eating dinner together or separately; eating at home or meeting for dinner when she returns. Text messages are used when things go sideways and plans need to be updated.
As would we, but that’s in large part because my wife’s people discuss what they’re having for the next meal or two while they’re in the middle of eating their current meal.
Not us.
We are just two old people with independent hobbies resulting in independent circles of friends combined with jobs that occasionally require non-standard work hours.
Typical would be the last beer club meeting, I had to go into the office for several hours, so I fed myself in town and my wife was on her own that night.
my wife just handles things.
Like I said, I am spoiled.
I rarely cook.
Hello Ron,
Thanks for continuing to run this segment reach Friday. If you ever run out of content from MA or Seneca you could probably repeat some lessons with a different reaction or personal reflection.
Take a lesson from the Catholics who reused the same content with different interpretations for the last few hundred years.
Friday is a good day for reflection, as I’m usually at my worst right before lunch and prior to the weekend.
We’ll see, I don’t really have a long-term plan, but so far this seems to be working, as long as I don’t bore everyone to death.
That was my plan too. It works! And I like your current direction.
Being in the field with the Marines and Army really does make you appreciate small comforts. I remember getting back the barracks in Camp Geiger once after weeks in the field in August. Walking around after a hot shower and a hot meal wearing clean clothes felt truly amazing.
After a long field op, that first shower was heavenly.
I remember how bad the bathroom smelled after the showe once I left the room and came back in a few minutes later.
I remember how bad the bathroom smelled…
An MRE shit will stain the walls.
It wasn’t that, it was the BO from weeks in the desert in the summer.
Although those are pretty bad also.
Once after a field op I was in line at the MCX holding my baby son.
I had a horrible fart, not too loud, but the smell, MY GOD THE SMELL!
I did what any self respecting man would do.
I held my son at arms length and said I had to get him changed while we ran to the bathroom.
I remember going to Fort Chaffee for field training in July. As the exercise progressed the OCs kept increasing distance from us. By the end you could probably smell us 50 meters away.
I saw your mommy.
Also Ron. Good call on the music.
I’m wearing my Suicidal Tendencies flannel today.
Was it you I had the discussion with re: the punk/vato crossover aesthetic they had going on?
Sounds like me, but I don’t remember the conversation. ST definitely formed in the environment where identity was needed for protection. ST also had accusations of gang affiliation for quite a while.
Thanks Ron.
I just finished carrying in a wheelbarrow of wood. I’ve been able to use wood heat all winter, not because I need to but because I want to. I did that as a kid and for the past 30 years (except last year). Some things are hard to change.
I too am happy to have the conveniences I missed as a kid. I still can’t break some of the old habits though, I’ll wear a shirt or t-shirt until it’s not even rags for the shop. We do enjoy a meal out now and then, usually on a shopping day, but nothing extravagant, though the middling can surprise me these days.
Well, my brain doesn’t want to read any more documentation today.
It is time to write documentation.
(._.)
( . ) ( . )
TCIF!
I was guessing Cthulhu, but I like that one better.
Chumbawamba?
I think I may have actually finished all the quarter- and year-end stuff for 2022, and I’ve gotten as far as I can on January month-end stuff for the moment. I finally have time to pull, scan, and shred a bunch of old paper files before my credenza explodes. That’s about as much as my brain can handle on a Friday afternoon.
Congrats, it feels good, doesn’t it?
It sure does! It’s a good day! So far (knock wood) no employee has even called me to bitch because she didn’t pay attention to the 2020 changes to the W-4 form when she started here last year nor to any of her pay stubs that showed no Federal tax was being withheld. (That was yesterday.)
“Can’t you just make me exempt from taxes?”
“Well, I could kill you.”
Boom!
“I think I’d rather be reclassified as a religious organization or something”
Sorry, that doesn’t work either.
Marginally on topic, I guess. Just got out of therapy. Amazing what shit comes to the top when you’ve been shoving it down in favor of an ongoing crisis. Now that XY isn’t taking up every second of every day and every brain cell I’ve got, I’ve got to deal with the stuff I’ve been keeping a tight clamp on for years. Fuck, this is painful.
The big question is – is it helping? Also, is your therapist a good fit for you?
Yes and yes. I’ve avoided therapy for years because I just didn’t want to have to shop and start over every 2 months.
This firm has a questionnaire you fill out and someone makes a determination as to which therapist would best be able to help. They have lots of therapists so there’s someone likely to fit you.
👍
Weird question, but is the therapist Mormon?
No. Didn’t want one. Besides, the therapists the church provides are usually for those who can’t afford insurance or out-of-pocket therapy. Mind you, there are therapists who are Mormon who do not work for the church. I know most of them personally, which is why I don’t want one.
My mom wanted a Mormon therapist because she needed to work things out in relation to theology/church/religion/tradition/culture and needed someone conversant with it.
I guess that’s where I was going with it. I can see where it would be incredibly valuable, but also incredibly off-putting.
Glad to hear it’s going well.
Duke women’s basketball head coach Kara Lawson blasts ’embarrassing’ use of a MEN’S ball in the first half of her team’s loss to Florida State – as she claims such a mistake ‘would never happen in a men’s game’
Women’s basketball seems to consist almost wholly of whiny bitches.
Or the flip side, at the women’s game:
“Coach, these balls are bigger than what I’m used to.”
I can just see it at a men’s game:
*Player, picks up a ball, picks up another one*
“Huh. Hey man, do these balls feel a little small to you?’
*Hilarity ensues*
“The smaller ball goes in the basket easier.”
about an inch smaller
Every inch counts.
Well, yeah. I’m pretty sure the mistake of using a men’s ball in a men’s game wouldn’t happen, as it wouldn’t be a mistake. In fairness, that difference would probably be enough to throw off muscle memory for shots and passes.
Yeah, it happens from time to time at the slams in tennis. Women use a ball that, if memory serves, is lighter and has a different level of fluff. The players notice it when they get a heavier ball, but that’s generally something that can be rectified during the match.
It also makes more sense that it would happen at the tennis slams, since they have men and women using the same courts in succession; and, with as many matches and changes of balls go on, a mix-up every now and then happens.
She is appealing the loss.
Did the other team play with the regular ball?
Not sure why they would overturn the game.
They also lost by 13. I didn’t see what the margin was at half time. But that isn’t a squeaker of a game that could have gone either way.
The Blue Devils were 7-for-34 from the field in the opening 20 minutes of that game.
They were 12 for 38 in the second half.
Florida State made 10 of its 30 shots in the first two quarters and 14 of 31 in the second half.
Seems they were both equally shitty.
I’ll bet that the refs for that game were all women.
Even so, I can’t believe no player on either side didn’t notice the difference and say something.
You wouldn’t have this ‘controversy’ otherwise. I smell a choreographed effort here that in today’s age, would not even bat an eye at if true.
Ball files Title IX complaint.
Some balls are held for charity
And some for fancy dress
But when they’re held for pleasure
They’re the balls that I like best
My balls are always bouncing
To the left and to the right
It’s my belief that my big balls
Should be held every night.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WwJ6OVSwkM
What is a women is getting complicated.
https://twitter.com/greg_price11/status/1621242276897820673?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1621258842339164161%7Ctwgr%5E412d218098ee1316d80418276918fb01c49bb6ce%7Ctwcon%5Es3_&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.zerohedge.com%2Fmarkets%2Fwatch-biden-says-more-half-women-my-administration-are-women
In his defense, you can’t be sure anymore.
He’s starting to channel Porky Pig.
Brinton, Levine, …
Well, to be fair…
The absolute state of Jabba the Trans.
Is it a coincidence that this trans woman with a trans partner has not one but TWO transgender kids? Of course not.
Here they are fighting for the right to mutilate the genitals of their kids before puberty. This is not good parenting, it’s child abuse.
It absolutely is, and it’s evil.
Satan is racking up a lot of Ws lately.
Case in point.
Why did I click?
As I sit here, my wife is watching YouTube.
Just heard a commercial about the “Extreme” abortion bill being pushed by the “Extreme” Governor Youngkin.
I swear they said “Extreme” every other word.
Was the video sponsored by Mountain Dew?
She’s watching some Japanese show.
But obviously all people in VA are against the “Extreme” Republicans.
I was joking about that during election season. We see the Chicago ads on TV here, and the Dem ads were all about abortion, and the Republicans’ EXTREME positions. EVEN IN THE CASE OF RAPE AND INCEST!
It’s extreme racists all the way down.
From the comments:
https://twitter.com/Nicks_Sway/status/1621605524629323777
https://frinkiac.com/caption/S08E14/856271
Anything less than abortion on demand up to, during and after birth fully funded by the taxpayers is an assault on
women’schild-birthing person’s fundamental rights. Or so I am told.Never mind that “extreme” is a relative term.
They actually said “extreme” more than words.
🤨
https://www.kcrg.com/2023/02/03/iowa-dnr-confirms-mountain-lion-shot-killed-johnson-county/
The Iowa Department of Natural Resources has confirmed a mountain lion sighting in Johnson County last weekend.
The DNR told KCRG-TV9 the mountain lion was shot by two lawfully licensed hunters who were out at night calling for coyotes west of Swisher.
The mountain lion was an adult female, weighing 116 pounds.
The DNR said it had been aware of the mountain lion prior to the shooting, but she was seldom if ever seen by people in the area and never caused safety issues for residents or livestock.
Huh. What are the rules for shooting them?
I expect we have no rules.
There have been a few recent incursions of mountain lions in Iowa, but they rarely stay for long.
This actually pisses me off. I got no problem with a farmer shooting a predator going after livestock.
An ongoing thread at work has this: “Currently the mountain lion has no legal status in the Iowa Code, thus they are not given any protection by Iowa Law. “
Yeah, I was wondering why they felt the need to shoot it.
If I were to guess, the last Iowa law on them would’ve been a bounty.
According to coworkers, bobcats are covered by current law, but not lions. Cause there are no lions in Iowa.
Yeah I was just guessing back at what might have been law some time in 19th century.
Michael Malice makes the claim (accurately, I think) that government schools are the only place many kids experience violence.
But this is crazy.
I have a couple ideas.
Starting with arresting and convicting the thugs.