Gynecologists Hate Kourtney Kardashian’s New Vaginal Health Gummies

Hello, people with vaginas: I come bearing a story about Kourtney Kardashian, a vitamin grift, and the conspiracy of pussy odor.

Amidst a depressing trend of celebrities putting out lackluster wellness brands they don’t seem to personally give a shit about, Kourtney Kardashian’s supplement brand Lemme has now rolled out “Lemme Purr” vaginal health gummies—aka pussy probiotics—for $30 a bottle.

On Monday, Kardashian and Lemme co-posted the official announcement of a new supplement intended to increase vaginal health and “support vaginal taste, vaginal odour, vaginal health and vaginal freshness.” The video features Kardashian lying on the ground with cats circling her. One runs across her as though she is not there. She then pops a pill that I highly doubt is actually one of these pussy gummies. No one purrs.

Here’s the product description from Lemme’s Instagram:

“Vaginal health is such an important part of a woman’s overall well-being (and not talked about enough) which is why we are so excited to launch this! Give your vagina the sweet treat it deserves (and turn it into a sweet treat). You know what they say…you are what you eat 😜

We combined real pineapple and Vitamin C with the power of clinically-studied SNZ 1969™ probiotics to target vaginal health and pH levels that support freshness and taste.”

First thing’s first, since we’re talking about health here. Never, ever take medical advice from a Kardashian, and especially not the one who teamed up with Goop founder Gwyneth Paltrow to sell a candle invented to smell like Kourtney’s vagina. (It was, as dead Gawker wrote, called “Smells Like My Pooshy.”) Not only are the supplements not regulated by the FDA, which means we have to trust brands when they tell us what’s in their products, but gynecologists are already criticizing Lemme’s new pussy potion.

Dr. Jen Gunter, a gynecologist and author of The Vagina Bible, called out Kourtney’s “grift” on Instagram for perpetuating tired tropes about stinky vaginas, pointing to an entire chapter in her book that debunks the myth of pineapple as a smelly vagina salve. “Anyone who suggests that your vagina isn’t fresh or needs an improved taste is a misogynist and awful person,” she wrote.

Does this Dr. Gunter [pause for laughter to die down] understand just how much jizz, piss, and spacedocking the average Kardashian vagina accumulates in a typical weekend? These are rugged, off-road vaginas, adapted to the rigors of the NBA and Soundcloud rappers. These things can’t clean themselves and the scent of the abattoir doesn’t dissipate on its own.

 

The First Lady takes the Second Man, as is her right. Also, by the transitive property, she has now drained Willie Brown’s willie dozens of times.

 

I love this Twitter feed, just weird and cool science and history stuff.

 

Transphobes Have Come Up With ‘Harry Potter’ Dogwhistles For Their Hate Speech

Over the past few years, as J.K. Rowling has wholeheartedly embraced transphobia, the Harry Potter franchise has become a haven for other anti-trans bigots. Now, with the upcoming release of Hogwarts Legacy, transphobes have found a new way to express their hate: Harry Potter-themed transphobic dogwhistles.

Filmmaker and writer Jesse Earl first reported the new dogwhistle earlier this month, when transphobes started commenting on her Youtube videos with the words “Avada Kedavra.”

Avada kedavra, an Aramaic phrase that translates into “I destroy as I speak,” is one of the three Unforgivable Curses in the Harry Potter series. When cast, it instantly kills its target. Since Earl’s tweet, multiple people have proven her point by publicly responding to her with the curse. Transphobes have also responded by bragging that they’ve bought copies of Hogwarts Legacy, disproving the idea that the game can be separated from Rowling’s transphobia.

Some commenters on Twitter have waved off the harassment, dismissing it as dorky and pathetic—and yes, using a fictional curse from a children’s book as your method of hate speech certainly is both of those things. But as sad as this kind of hate speech is, it’s vital to understand that, as Earl notes, saying “I kill you” in any language is a death threat. Like all death threats, it needs to be taken seriously and dealt with aggressively.

The Mary Sue. I’d call it a sewer, but sewers serve a purpose. It’s more like a remora attached to the geek internet, draining blood from it and shitting it back out as some sort of anti-fun toxin.

 

Is this a shocking video? Or the best Bumble profile ever?

I like when the camera turns to the lesser women to capture their awe.