Italian Space Opera Festival

In some markets, Star Odyssey was known as Metallica. Hmmm….

Star Crash

Star Odyssey

So, I finally got around to the Italian Space Opera festival!  I picked two films, both famous in certain circles.  For anyone unfamiliar with the genre, it was a flash in the pan which happened in Italy right after Star Wars.  The cash grab was barely noticed here in the states so many of you may never have seen these.  The nice thing about this post is I got a chance to explore the science fiction on TUBI, and I found a lot more I want to post*. Here’s some thoughts on tonight’s double feature:

Star Crash: So what? I’m a sucker for women in nice outfits.  This is not as famous as Star Odyssey. It damn well should be. I will say, this is the cleanest copy I have ever seen of this film. Some facts:

  • It has Caroline Munroe striding about in an outrageous costume, which no doubt put many adolescent butts in theater seats. This alone is reason to pick this film tonight.
  • The main bad guy has a big ship shaped like a fist.  My only regret is that the ship didn’t turn into a big middle finger when attacking. Missed opportunity.
  • Marjoe Gortner is the main blonde guy/hero.  Marjoe came from a family that ran religous revivals and he was one of the youngest preachers (age 4) ever on the circuit.
  • David Mother Flipping Hasselhoff is in this film as a prince, for a brief moment. Also it has the most ridiculous southern sheriff robot, ever.  I mean, WTF? The robot has ten times the screen time of Hasselhoff.

Star Odyssey:  This is a famous and oft-parodied B film. So, so much is going on here.  Villain with a pressed ham face, cutesy robots, and androgynous androids.  Overall a fun B film.  Interesting facts about this film:

  • This is the fourth of four films made by Alfonso Brescia in the wake of Star Wars.  The others are Cosmos:  War of the Planets, Battle of the Stars and War of the Robots.  To me, this last film was his best effort.  In true B movie form it uses some footage from the previous films.
  • Ennio Balbo plays Aleister Crowley, er… I mean our psychic hero. Seriously.  He looks like Crowley. Or this guy.
  • There’s another hero in this film – this little Italian guy with a crazy mustache. Nino Castelnuovo.  This is a big film star in Italy, with over 90 films in his illustrious career.  This was not one of his most majestic films.

Well, that’s it for me typing tonight.  So watch!  Or Don’t! Everything is voluntary!  Next week, another double feature: Terrifier and Terrifier 2!

* This does not incluide Star Slammer.  Although if you desire boobs before sci fi, this would fit the bill. But there are so many better ways to see boobies…

Help! Tubi wants an account to sign in!

No account or sign-in is required to use Tubi. The only advantage to signing in is you can maintain a queue and save your place in movies you are watching. Follow these instructions to bypass the sign in:

After you click the link for the weekly movie, hit the Play button on the movie and you should get the screen shown below. The guest option may require scrolling up to see. Click the circled guest option to watch the film.

(h/t: The Hyperbole)

 

About The Author

R.J.

Hello. My name is R.J. I am a Tulpa with extra cheese and sour cream.

137 Comments

  1. Count Potato

    Again, I hope your wife is OK, prayers sent.

    • R.J.

      Thanks. Last round of bloodwork in 30 minutes. Trying to 100% rule out heart issues. When I left a few hours ago it looked like a diagnosis of dehydration.

      • Count Potato

        It’s counterintuitive but dehydration can cause hypertension.

      • Mojeaux, XX

        Ah, they’re taking troponins?

        • R.J.

          Don’t know. More details when she calls me to come get her, hopefully by 9:00.

          • Fourscore

            Good to hear, RJ. Give us an update when you want.

            • R.J.

              From the wife:

              They ran another EKG, did labs again and came up with nothing. I am getting more fluids now and they gave m another Vertigo pill. Hoping I will be out of here soon.

              • The Hyperbole

                Sound promising, good to hear, hoping for the best.

              • Zwak , who will swing for the crime, in double time!

                Sounds good, keep us in the loop, or not, we are not your boss’s

                /seriously, glad to hear it.

              • DEG

                Best wishes

      • Brochettaward

        Hopefully something minor. Sending Firsts your way unlike all those unpractical prayers.

        • R.J.

          Thanks. Also good call on Terrifier.

          • ron73440

            Hope your wife is just dehydrated.

      • Sensei

        I missed that in the last thread. Hope she’s feeling better!

      • DEG

        I missed something. Sorry.

        I hope she is OK.

      • milo

        I’m over in Arkansas. I’m praying for you both.
        You are good people.

      • milo

        I’m over in Arkansas. I’m praying for you both.
        You are good people.

        • groat scotum

          I have folks in Eureka Springs!

      • MikeS

        One day a couple years ago, my wife came downstairs and after a few steps fainted. After a few moments she came to and complained of some dumbness in her arm. I took her in thinking heart attack. Turned out it was a thyroid issue, along with dehydration.

        I assume they will check your wife’s thyroid numbers, but if it isn’t specifically brought up, it would worth asking about. Or maybe not, I’m not a doctor after all. 🧐

        Whatever it is, I hope your honey gets back on her feet right quick!

        • cyto

          I have been using old episodes of House as background noise for housework. From this extensive experience I can definitively say that although they will consider sarcoidosis, leukemia and Lupus and begin treatments, it will always be something else. It is never Lupus.

    • Tonio

      I also missed out on that on the last thread. Hoping for the best, my friend.

      • Chafed

        Me too. I just got home. I hope all is well with your wife, R.J.

  2. Brochettaward

    I wrote a space opera on Firsting. It was good and all. The best space opera ever written. Maybe I’ll share it one day.

    • Ted S.

      That would be a first.

      • MikeS

        Whatever he wrote, I can guarantee he wasn’t the first.

        • Brochettaward

          You smell of seconds.

  3. Count Potato

    Huh, I got the wrong movie somehow.

    • Count Potato

      Well, I have Star Odyssey, but the quality is terrible.

      • R.J.

        I have never seen a clean copy.

    • Count Potato

      Oh, this is why. “Next week, a double feature of Italian sci fi: Star Pilot and Star Odyssey.”

      Star Pilot is an Italian movie from 1966.

      “In the fall of 1977, to quickly capitalize on success of Star Wars, the film was dubbed in English and released in the United States under a new title. The English dub included references to “Star Fleet”, “Star Fleet Command”, “Warp Speed”, and “Impulse Drive”, as used in the Star Trek television series.”

      • Fourscore

        Where have I heard “Warp Speed” used recently? Oh yeah

    • R.J.

      It was me. I swapped out a movie because it just wasn’t exciting. I had forgotten about that perfect copy of

      • R.J.

        Star Crash.

      • Count Potato

        Well, I’ve got tubi working so I can watch Starcrash on the TV.

        • R.J.

          That’s good news! Otherwise you’d have to hunt up both Terrifier movies. It’s all written up and ready to submit. No swap outs.

          • Count Potato

            Of course, I already have both 🙂

  4. Aloysious

    1. Awesome job as usual, RJ.

    2. Dammit you for making me look at that swine Klaus Schwein dressed as the Devils Bride.

    I will now go bleach my eye holes.

    • R.J.

      Heh heh heh.

    • rhywun

      the Devils Bride

      Yeah WTF? Is there some story behind that… never mind I don’t want to know.

      • R.J.

        All you need to know is he runs the world.

        • R.J.

          It explains so much of the perversion around us.

  5. Ted S.

    Don’t confuse “Cosmos: War of the Planets” with the earlier Italian sci-fi movie War of the Planets, which is a hoot.

    • R.J.

      I think I played that last year.

  6. slumbrew

    Since you’re in the SciFi section I will shamelessly plug Trancers again. Best post-Blade Runner cash grab you’ll find on Tubi

    • R.J.

      Indeed. It is on the list.

      • slumbrew

        Huzzah!

    • Count Potato

      Does it have a bunch of Israeli chicks on acid?

    • R.J.

      Thanks. That looks great.

  7. DEG

    Thanks RJ!

    I got back from drinks and dinner with some current and former coworkers. I’ll queue this up for later.

    OT: Talk me out of this: I’ve been kicking around buying a Scat Pack Challenger. V8 with a manual. So far, the best attempts to talk me out of this have been:

    a) Do you realize how many guns you could buy with this money?
    b) Buy a Camaro or Corvette instead. I liked the look of the Corvette Stingray, but it is a bit pricier for what I want and its automatic only. The Camaro is better price wise, has a manual, but is ugly.

    So…. let’s see if the third time is the charm and anyone can talk me out of this. I haven’t called the Dodge dealer yet.

    • R.J.

      I will not talk you out it. It is a fine car, more versatile than a corvette. Fantastic for road trips and pissing off greenies.

      • R.J.

        Nothing irritates greenies more than a menacing Challenger. And the Scat Pack can burn mean streaks in the Dairy Queen parking lot.

    • Mojeaux, XX

      V8 manual? What’s there to think about?

    • The Hyperbole

      Nice looking car just don’t get the purple, also the front end looks like you could paint sharks teeth on it and that would be boss.

    • DEG

      I need to drop off for the night, but judging by the replies, the third time won’t be the charm.

      • DEG

        If it helps you in talking me out of it:

        I already have a V8 Mustang. 2021. Convertible.

        I’d need to find a place to store a three car. I only have a two car garage. I could park my daily driver outside, but I don’t want to.

        • Mojeaux, XX

          Dude, you’re young, good looking, good income, good health, plenty of PTO, with the world at your feet. Buy the fucking car.

          • dbleagle

            What she said.

          • MikeS

            I don’t know how any sane person could argue with this logic. Do as she says.

          • Zwak , who will swing for the crime, in double time!

            When a chick says “buy the sweet, sweet car”, you buy the damn car.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Camaro’s not as good looking but you can’t see that perspective driving it. A V8 with a manual’s a winner and so’s the Camaro’s price.

      • R.J.

        DEG: You can comfortably transport three women in the Dodge. Not in a Camaro.

        Winning!

    • milo

      Woo, boy.
      Son, it’s a Dodge. The name is descriptive.
      I have to admit I have never owned one. Our farm truck was an early 70’s Dodge. I cannot describe what that hung was. It is beyond my literary skills.

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      Just think: with the Challenger your could get from Denver to San Fransisco in 48 hours. Unless, of course, you run into the bulldozers.

    • Sensei

      See I’d buy the Corvette as every car I owned was manual until the Tesla. I don’t miss as much as I thought I would. I’d rather try a a mid engined car and see what’s up with that.

      Full Disclosure. I’m middle aged and bald so perfect ‘Vette demographic.

      • rhywun

        LOL.

        My closest older brother went sports-car-midlife-crisis in his thirties. I was alternately rolling my eyes and holding on for dear life when he would drive like a fucking maniac.

      • DEG

        I’m middle aged but not bald.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Talk me out of this

      “Scat Pack”

    • Sean

      My visit last week to the Dodge/Jeep dealer was both pleasant and fruitful. 👍👍

    • DEG

      Thanks all!

  8. rhywun

    OT – Can somebody explain to me why Pluto TV’s UI and UX is different every time I turn it on? I cannot count the number of times I have signed myself out because the fucking UX has changed again.

    /rant

    • milo

      They hate you. I don’t know what else to say, brother.

    • R.J.

      They are constantly improving. I too reported that this shit needs to cut out.

    • The Hyperbole

      Are you watching on your computer? I only watch on a Roku TV and haven’t noticed that.

      • rhywun

        No, my TV. (Sony.)

        • The Hyperbole

          Huh, other than a while back they added a most recently watched bar at the very top of the list everything else has been the same for me.

          • rhywun

            For me, it’s when I muscle-memory press Enter, Right, Enter it either shows me the info of the current show or it starts over. One of those things is not what I want and it keeps randomly changing.

    • Chafed

      I can’t but they have a Baywatch channel and two Star Trek channels. Si, unless they murder an infant in front of me, I’ll keep watching.

  9. rhywun

    So I’m trying to go remote at work. I haven’t been in the fucking office in over two years and I have multiple remote colleagues already so should not be an issue, right?

    Boss calls me today and says it has to go all the way up to the IT head and there are rumors the company is going to push everyone back into the office so not fair etc. etc.

    Boss-boss is on vacation and who knows when I’ll get an answer so now I’m waiting to see if life gets turned upside-down because if they say No I have no option other than resigning.

    • Mojeaux, XX

      Oh, that stings. I’d be pissed.

      • rhywun

        On the bright side, if they think that little of me after three years (and the only person on my team to get the maximum performance-based bonus this year *ahem*) then maybe it’s good to know that sooner rather than later.

        • slumbrew

          Should the worst happen, we’re almost entirely remote with lots of openings. My handle at proton if you’re interested.

          • The Hyperbole

            Are you looking for any carpenters?

            • rhywun

              They’ve only just begun.

            • slumbrew

              Remote carpentry openings might be tough but I’ll check the listings.

          • rhywun

            👍

        • DEG

          Sorry.

          You’re right – if they think that little of you, better to get over with sooner rather than later.

  10. MikeS

    Suddenly when I type a leading quotation mark in Outlook it puts it in subscript(?) ala Spanish. WTF and does anyone know how to stop it?

    • MikeS

      …and it stopped as randomly as it started…

      🤨

      • Chafed

        Nice firsting.

        • Brochettaward

          A Firster can’t be negged.

          • Chafed

            It was MikeS’s firsting that solved his problem.

        • MikeS

          Thanks for noticing.

  11. Brochettaward

    I’m wearing my Firsting undergarments. The stretchy pregnancy ones that expand as The First grows. I am gearing up for something special in the morning, though. It’s going to take all night to work through my rituals.

    • MikeS

      Did you eat a bunch of prunes?

    • The Hyperbole

      They’re still making Underoos?

  12. rhywun

    USMNT are playing in Nevada and cable TV has it only in Spanish.

    God bless cut the cord.

  13. Brochettaward

    The Bud Light boycott, the stuff of much maligned culture war nonsense that some say should be ignored, is having a real impact on all of corporate America. The fear started with Target, but it’s trickling down with companies across the board pulling back on the progressive bullshit. This one got personal for me as I got into an argument with someone I know over it. I was told it didn’t matter, the trannie stuff didn’t matter in comparison to real problems like inflation (you know, the trannie shit probably matters a lot more to people whose kids are being indoctrinated in the public education camps). But for the first time in a long while, the progressives in these institutions are scared to try and jam this shit down people’s throats.

    People who tell conservatives they should just consume and keep giving money to companies that hate them can eff off.

    Nah, the culture matters a lot. Culture was the reason we didn’t end up with Hillary in 2016. Trump was the right guy in the right moment saying fuck the woke bullshit then. Another backlash of that sort in the lead-up to 2024 is the only shot the GOP has.

    • Chafed

      It does matter and I’m glad to see a large part of corporate America back down. As for 2024, I have no idea what will happen.

      • Brochettaward

        The fortification of 2020 is going to look like child’s play.

        • Sean

          Sadly, this is it.

    • cyto

      Odd that culture and ostracism are only irrelevant if you are opposed to the progressives. If you are on their side, it not only uncontrovercial to use these tactics in support of cultural norms like what Halloween costumes are acceptable or what pronouns can be used, criminal enforcement of these “norms” is also highly desirable.

      • Brochettaward

        I have never seen progressives get into turf wars about how this or that issue used to push forward the cause is irrelevant. Progressives in fact seem perfectly capable of fighting on all fronts at once aka do multiple things at once, but you get those whiny cunty conservatives who really just think that stuff is beneath their time or consideration. It’s not a distraction. People are very capable of focusing on multipole issues at a time or dealing with things in their own realm.

        Progressives had the time to take over all the institutions while conservatives sat their with their thumbs up their asses letting it happen.

  14. Chafed

    You had me at Hasselhoff, R.J.

  15. cyto

    A lawyer relative bounced this tweet thread about the Trump indictment to me:

    https://twitter.com/willscharf/status/1669333151569543168?t=K_DDVjlaGkPdOCzZZXRkAw&s=19

    Pretty good takedown.

    My independent observation: this is the third time they have broken attorney client privilege targeting Trump. This is something that is nearly sacrosanct. Yet they raided and prosecuted Cohen for the sole purpose of forcing him to cooperate against Trump. They raided and prosecuted Giuliani with the exact same intent. And now this.

    These are once-in-a-lifetime exceptions. Yet lighting has magically struck the same place 3 time. If this is not evidence of corrupt intent, I don’t know what would be.

    • Brochettaward

      They’ll convict him. Maybe not on everything, but they’ll get him on some bullshit process charge if not the whole thing. It will be appealed and fought over. Most interesting to me is that they are using the same prosecutor who railroaded the Virginia governor. And why the fuck does he live in the Netherlands, but still work for the DOJ? How is that shit allowed?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Because FYTW. Rub your nose in it and say it smells like roses.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Fuck your quaint notions of attorney client privilege, this guy is dangerous (to us)! And it’s being cheered on-it’s like the Senate clapping while Rome burned, even they weren’t that stupid.

  16. Gustave Lytton

    Stupid fucking DMV had their entire license database accessible to the internet. The lying dipshits kept quiet when it was hacked so they could prepare residents and prepare resources to present to residents. Which consisted of restating that credit reports can be pulled every three years.

    Also, thank you codsucking fucktoads for swallowing Real ID and all the rest of the post 9/11 security theatre so those records contain metric fuckton loads of PII than are absolutely needed. Hair, eye, height, and weight are holdovers from pre photograph drivers licenses that never went away. Then there’s all the rest such as supporting documents that are scanned and never removed or destroyed. I hope all of those clown parasites get the boats. But they won’t because zero accountability of colosal fuckups by fuckups.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Sean and Stinky!

        • Gender Traitor

          Good morning, U!

    • Grosspatzer

      That song…

      I used to occasionally frequent a low-quality titty bar called the Showcase Lounge in New Brunswick. One of the performers was an unattractive older lady who’d come on stage wearing a fedora and some skimpy military-looking outfit, smoking a cigar. Black Betty was her go-to tune.

  17. Stinky Wizzleteats

    “Dershowitz: Why Donald Trump Cannot Get A Top-Tier Lawyer”
    https://www.zerohedge.com/political/why-donald-trump-cannot-get-top-tier-lawyer

    TLDR, any lawyer that takes Trump’s case ends up getting attacked on everything under the sun, up to and including their bar membership, by a David Brock group. Not a good development at all. Then again I imagine representing Trump is kind of like representing a bull in a China shop, a drunk one.

  18. UnCivilServant

    I’ve been trying to get a diarama together to enter it in a local painting competition (I’ll lose, given the sorts of entries I’ve seen in previous quarters), and last night I stained the rim of the wooden base it’s all going on. It has been so long since I’ve stained wood that I was unprepared for the porosity of the end grain and the fact that it was not actually a smooth surface. The six-hour drying time on the stain was also a bit of a departure from my normal work cadence. I didn’t have time to check on it this morning, so I won’t know mow well it really turned out until after work.

    I hope I get this darn thing done before the cutoff for entry.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good luck! When is the deadline?

      • UnCivilServant

        I don’t know. They post that information to facebook, so I can’t see any of it. I have to ask in-person. I’ve set a personal deadline of sunday before the store closes.

    • Grosspatzer

      I expect you’ll get it done on time, and am looking forward to seeing the finished product. I lack the patience for those sorts of projects and am in awe of those who have it.

  19. Gender Traitor

    In much too local news, Little Black Cat did NOT manage to get out of his cone overnight. He’s currently content to sit on my lap as I sit cross-legged on the floor. I, however, may be unable to stand when it’s time to get ready for work.

    • UnCivilServant

      How’s he healing? And do you think you’ll have any leg circulation when you try to stand?

      • Gender Traitor

        ***Heaves huge sigh of relief*** Right after I posted that comment, he got up to use the litter, so I struggled to my feet and made my escape to my laptop.

        He seems to be doing OK. I don’t think he did damage to the sutures when he got out of the cone earlier, and he’s definitely in good spirits. He wants OUT of the cone and OUT of that room. He may be able to come out of the room tomorrow, but the cone has to stay on until he’s cleared by the vet. (Follow up on the 28th.)

        ***SIGH!!!*** Now that I’ve left that room, he’s scratching at the door and meowing. 😞

      • Gender Traitor

        Yeah, I already had that earworm! 😄 Good morning, ‘patzie!

  20. Grosspatzer

    Mornin’, reprobates!

  21. Gender Traitor

    And now I’m back on my phone because I’m pretty sure both the Internet and cable TV are out. I don’t have time to play 40 Questions with the robo-rep you get when you call Spectrum, so it’s off to work I go. 😒

    • Fourscore

      There you go again, using language the young (and old) people don’t want to hear.

      Work is a word I don’t want/need in my vocabulary and apparently isn’t used by all the people I want to hire for projects around the house.

      • R.J.

        Bless you for it.I have to keep going for around 9 more years. I may never truly retire due to my life choices.

    • R.J.

      I still work off my phone and run Teams meetings. I run movie nights on the phone. Sometimes I write posts on it.