My 2nd oldest niece (now in her 20s) wants to be a they/them and called by some male name I can never remember, even though thems’ name could easily be turned into a boys name and I has called thems Orville since theys were a small child (because of our shared love of the Irish Rovers).  I fully understand that theirs is a lesbian. That makes sense. Dudes are fucking ugly. Dicks are not attractive. I wholeheartedly support lesbians, given my internet viewing history. (Although, you know, as a Catholic it creeps me out to think of as ANYONE as a sexual creature, including myself.)

Theys was partially raised by we’s and was indoctrinated into loving ‘boy’ things; like Transformers, Thundercats, Voltron and…wait, those aren’t really ‘boy’ things, they are just 80s things. Xe also enjoyed thems doing dance competitions and doing make-up and well, those aren’t ‘boy’ things.  But, in middle school, I found they in them’s room crying because some boys in ustedes class said theys like ‘boy’ things.  Middle school boys are cuntes. I gave xerxes the whole speech about it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks about what you like, if you like it then like it.

Things were fine for several years after that, until the mental illness from her father’s side started to creep in.  Her father (who left before she was born) had a cousin (that I knew) who murdered THEN raped a woman.  So when Xenophon started hearing voices, we kind of thought it was important Xerox found some mental help. Unfortunately, this was at the upswing in ‘gender dysphoria’ being the new gluten allergy. So Xena (who beside the mental health issues is on The Spectrum) was convinced by the ‘mental health expert’ that ALL of these problems stemmed from Xavier being trans.

My sister being the type that SO wished she could be special like the QUILTBAG to ‘stick it to them’ fully embraced this. So everything in their whole family has become about PRIDE. Rainbows fucking everywhere! She is so very proud of knowing her child’s sexual desires!  But, on the DL, my sister has been trying to figure out how to stall the actual ‘transition’.  I took this on myself a few years ago with xenon, just wait until you get all of your other mental issues handled until you start pumping hormones into your body.  That worked for a few years, but then it raised up again.  At this point xylophone still has OEM parts. (Thems has even watched the Hat and Hair and tried to be a Patron, to which I said that could ruin your future and get you put on a list, and you don’t need to give me money, I give you money, that’s how uncling works)

This brings me to today, in a very long winded way.  The masterpiece of cinema Conan The Barbarian (written by the awesome John Milius) has a quote about what is best in life:

To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.

For me what is best in life is to make memories with those I love. So when today my sister and her kids were headed into ‘The Local City’ and their car had issues I said I would drive them there.  They were headed to a Pride event, which my sister sister said was ‘family friendly’.  So I thought I would go and make some memories with the kids and do some first hand research.

This ‘family friendly’ Pride event was nothing more than some people standing in a parking lot watching some Drag Queens lip synch to the most stereotypical songs. Where are the Drag Kings?  There was a food truck, which is mostly where I gravitated.  There was also an ice cream truck that was a converted short bus, which conjured images of Danny The Street being a bus on Doom Patrol (nerd shit).  Now, the Big One (as I now refer to xyster as it is descriptive and non-offensive) is in xylem 20s this all seems fine to me. Burlesque has included cross-dressing for a long time.  But, my sister also had along her 13 and 10 year old kids. And they were asking for dollar bills, as if they had done this before.  At least the performer only took the bills by hand, and didn’t require them stuffed in the down there.

I’m 40 and I only went to a strip club once and found it a disgusting experience, I think the outfits the kids wear for dance recitals and the songs they dance to are entirely inappropriate. I am a prude. I think anyone who has sex before marriage (in a Catholic ceremony) is a slut. I’m unmarried and thus have not had sex. I find this all distasteful. But no one takes my lack of sexual proclivities into account. As a matter of fact, no one has ever inquired about my sexual preferences. Am I being discriminated against?

I fully support The Big One in finding happiness, but I just can’t comprehend how ‘Pride’ does that.  Much over, how having X-ray’s siblings participate in such can have any effect other than to try overtly affect their own preferences in the same way peer pressure does.

Pride comes from accomplishing things. Is who you want to have sex with an accomplishment?  I know the wording came from ordinary folks saying they weren’t ashamed of who they are, but that isn’t really pride.  I’m not proud my dick gets hard when I see Rachel Stevens, it’s just a thing that happens.

I’m rambling now, but I think the point is SUPPORT ME ON PATREON AND SMASH THAT LIKE BUTTON!