FADE IN:
INT.-METRO CITY METROPOLITAN NEWSPAPER-DAY
CU-A 50s style fan
MS-PEERLESS PALADIN sits at his desk, drenched in sweat, typing up a story. Orbit boy is reading.
MARGO approaches fanning herself with some papers.
MARGO
I’m hot enough to boil an egg!
She drops the papers on PEERLESS’ desk
MARGO (cont’d)
Cast an eyeball on what came over the wire.
CU PAPERS’ “MAD STOP SCIENTIST STOP RANSOM STOP CITY STOP STOP STOP HEAT STOP WAVE STOP NEWS STOP CONFERENCE STOP 4PM STOP”
MARGO(cont’d)
It seems Dr. Lobo has the lowdown on the up heat.
PEERLESS
Looks like I’ll have to look into this.
MARGO
Not this time big boy. The boss gave me the exclusive,
and I don’t need you and your big ground grippers
bunnying up any of my sources.
MARGO walks away.
PEERLESS
Maybe she doesn’t want me to go, but what about
Peerless stands up abruptly, the typewriter stuck to his fingers, he shakes it off and rips open his shirt revealing his costume.
PEERLESS
Gravity Man!
Brute walks past staring down at some papers
BRUTE
Good morning Peerless.
PEERLESS
Good Morning Brute.
INT-AUDITORIUM-DAY
SIGN READS “TODAY: DR LOBO INTER-CRIMINAL PANEL ON HEAT WAVE”
The auditorium is filled with reporters and busy bodies. MARGO sits in the front row. Dr. Lobo is on stage behind a podium with a spot light shining on him.
DR LOBO
Unless all industry in Metro City stops
and I am paid $23,808,111 within 24 hours,
my weather machine will destroy the entire city!
It will make the seas boil, the polar bears die and the clowns cry!
The only way any of this will stop is if my demands are met,
otherwise you are all doomed! Thank you, and good night.
DR. LOBO exits the stage and the crowd starts with a murmur, but is soon in a full blown panic, people rush out of the auditorium in a crazed rush.
MARGO stands still with an inquisitive look on her face.
MARGO
Something ain’t on the up and up here,
and this reporter is going to get the scoop.
INT.-Dr LOBO’S LAB- DAY
Dr. LOBO is wringing his hands and laughing maniacally. The phone rings.
DR. LOBO
The negotiations begin.
He laughs maniacally and leaves the room to answer the phone. Margo appears from behind a table with a solar model on top. She begins searching the lab. And finds a blackboard covered with drawings and equations.
MARGO
BINGO!
The board has a drawing of Gravity Man and the sun, and equations, all implying the sun is closer to the earth because of Gravity Man. She begins writing down hastily. Dr. LOBO re-enters the room and sneaks up behind and grabs her. She tries to scream but he covers her mouth.
FADE TO BLACK
INT-DR LOBO’S LAB-NIGHT
MARGO is tied up and DR. Lobo paces in front of her.
MARGO
You’ll never get away with this!
DR LOBO
Who is going to stop me?
GRAVITY MAN crashes through the wall, chunks of cinderblock sticking to him.
MARGO
Gravity Man!
DR. LOBO
And Orbit Boy!
Gravity Man moves to stand in front of the chalkboard with the evidence on it. Orbit Boy begins to study the equations.
GRAVITY MAN
Ha-ha!
MARGO
Gravity Man, Dr Lobo doesn’t have a weather machine,
its all a jig!
GRAVITY MAN
Then the jig is up.
Dr. LOBO
To the contrary, I may not have a weather machine,
but my science shows that you, Gravity Man,
are the cause of the heat. Your gravity is attracting the sun.
So, even if you stop me, you will be done for!
Gravity Man turns to the blackboard.
GRAVITY MAN
It can’t be!
DR LOBO
But it is, the science is settled.
MARGO
No!
Just then Orbit Boy grabs a piece of chalk and adds a two to the equation.
DR. LOBO
What are you doing!
GRAVITY MAN
Looks like you forgot to carry the two!
DR. LOBO
It can’t be!
GRAVITY MAN
Oh, it is.
MARGO
Now the equation proves it’s not Gravity Man that’s
causing the heat wave! It’s the natural cycle of the sun!
DR. LOBO
No! All my plans ruined! I was to live like a king
while the lowly plebes returned to the Dark Ages!
Gravity man holds out his arm towards Margo, and she is pulled to him, Dr. Lobo tries to run away, Gravity Man holds his hand out toward him and he slowly pulled into Gravity Man’s grasp’ trying to run the whole time, but to no avail.
GRAVITY MAN
It seems you’re stuck with me.
HE laughs, Margo joins in laughing.
FADE TO BLACK
INT. METRO CITY METROPOLITAN NEWSPAPER-DAY
Margo is sitting at her desk typing, Peerless approaches with newspaper in hand. Orbit Boy is drinking a cup of coffee. Peerless holds up the newspaper
IT READS: HEAT WAVE SCANDAL PUT ON ICE
PEERLESS
Looks like you got your story. It’s a searing exposé.
MARGO
Thanks to some hot leads.
PEERLESS
Looks like the heat is going to come down on DR LOBO.
MARGO
He was a little hot headed.
PEERLESS
He might fry for this one.
MARGO
That’ll be a heated debate.
PEERLESS
You know Margo, you look quite sultry today.
MARGO
I’m starting to warm up to you Peerless.
PEERLESS
So you want to go have a time on the hot town tonight?
MARGO
Ha, you must be feverish!
MARGO gets up and walks away.
FADE TO BLACK
FADE OUT
Well done. I am reminded of this classic cartoon:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UJphNPwDfk
Nice! I’ve never seen a vintage Superman cartoon.
so many questions:
1) Why is the skyscraper made of rubber?
2) How did the scientist know her name was Lois? She said “I’m a reporter”
3) Does the scientist shop at the same place as Karl Schwab?
1) So that when superbeings are fighting, it doens’t have to be rebuilt and thus costs less over the life of the building.
2) There’s a snortage of reporters?
3) Yes, supervillains get a bulk discount there.
Is a snortage of reporters what they call it when the media covers up for Hunter Biden?
+1 bump, of fist
I lost it when he started punching the directed energy weapon’s bean back at it.
He’s just trying to settle the “Particle vs Wave” debate.
Bustin makes me feel good
Wait for Ep 5, and you will see the blatant theft on full display
I watched The Rock from Pure Milk Genius Productions last night. Hard stuff.
Never heard of it. But I would assume that is a park with some rapids on land that used to belong to the Novitiate that I wrote about once.
It’s got everything! Fake science, puns, and bondage.
Plus a plucky dame and smarmy 1940s talk!
First land is not a myth.
Is humpday Zoom cancelled today?
My old PC (to which I had to resort) doesn’t have the Zoom URLS saved to the desktop.
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/3713324517?pwd=VnRhSVNBVDFJRlRSVzE0V2NRMUcydz09#success
Found it. But no one is there. I guess I’ll just go drink wine with my cat.
What type of wine does your cat prefer?
You laugh, but they do make cat wine. https://www.eljefecatlounge.com/merch/cat-wine
My 21 yo rescue cat liked rum and diet coke. The first time I caught her sipping it out of my glass I said “No Sassy! You can’t have that!” And then I looked at the old girl and figured who am I to judge? She has had a long life.
Cat wine? Why would anybody make wine out of cats?
Fuck.
“I guess I’ll just go drink wine with my cat.”
Is this how it begins?
I dunno; how many more cats do you plan to invite into your home?
Drinking alone with your pet while Firsting is where it’s at.
Preach
Is it too goddam much to ask someone to tame the fucking server squirrels?
Sure…that makes it but not the super funny comment I tried before
Preach it brother.
I was robbed of a classic this morning.
A Firster knows how to evade all anti-Firsting technology such as that employed by this site’s creators. You’d know this if you were ever First.
Seems like Margo is the one with the irresistible attraction.
MikeS: Ha! Hahahaha!
Bro’: Durrr. I don’t get it.
Glibertarians: We know! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
FADE TO BLACK
FADE OUT
NOT FADE AWAY
Love that tune, GT. 🤘🏻
FADE AWAY, DAMMIT
I think MikeS is drunk. Or fading into insanity, hard to tell. Hears a little something to restore the white pill and your fading sanity.
(Fade to Black is an f’ing great song)
Yes.
Geddy Lee is easily the ugliest chick in Rock and Roll. She can’t sing for fuck, either.
The server error messed me up for a bit. I’m better now.
ugliest chick, …. She
I think I’m getting some insight into your dysphoria.
Yes it is.
I would post its lighter cousin Fade to Grey but I did already a few days ago.
Just sayin’
rhy’: not my style, but that wasn’t so bad.
@Mike’s
Yeah, they’re Norwegian synth/dance/industrial gods. It was good to see them appreciate the classics.
Fade to Black
I really need to listen to more Mark K. Goddam that dude is underrated/overlooked.
You’ve earned a reprieve. I’ll kill you last.
I’m not reading the article to understand your drunken attempts at humor.
I can help you with the big words.
Big words are just a distraction from being First.
That was a lot of work. Seems like I could have spent that time more productively.
Look at me shitting up the comment section.
Good work here, CPRM. Let’s get this stuff animated and we’ll all be rich. I mean, mostly you. But you’ll need an entourage, or posse, or something I assume?
You’ll be my Turtle?
Sure. If you call me Money Pit.
Get ready for some plastic,
Tall Cans!
You da man. If they make it here this weekend I’ll bounce them off some stuff!
Tall cans!
I’ve been playing around with ChatGPT. I asked it to write a haiku about my good fiend Brochettaward:
Bro always first,
In his mind, but not in truth,
Humble lessons learned.
FADE OUT
I had it write one about our biggest Glibs love connection:
Bro and Hype, a dance,
Conflict and love entwined,
Fierce friends, hearts aligned.
Hyperbacunt follows me around to start arguments and then whines about the response he generates. His Jeb Bush moment from Sunday night was truly pathetic.
I will call him a lying cunt because he is a lying cunt, but you won’t see me following him around to do it. I’m an opportunistic insulter not a stalker. He can’t get off my nuts. But many a Glib has an obsession with me.
Swiss went on a 10 minute drunken rant on Zoom with an audience talking about how much he hates me.
In fairness to Swiss, he can’t drunkenly rant about any topic for less than 10 minutes.
I don’t think Hype is a lying cunt, but I stand by my criticisms on Sunday.
And don’t feign innocence. You’re schtick rubs many the wrong way and you feed off that. To complain about the blowback is disingenuous.
I don’t complain about anything. Hyperbole crying about me calling him a lying cunt was of great entertainment to me.
Random thought about AI:
First of all, it’s two letters — it means artificial intelligence.
Secondly, I could see “art” in the future not be what you personally create, but how good you are at entering the proper prompts to have AI create something beautiful.
Discuss. Or don’t. It’s late.
https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/ai-9
It doesn’t call me Betty, but I call it it Al.
Your will all refer to me by the name… Betty
I am nice man
That’s a great Chevy Chase song. Too bad they felt the need to pair him with a talentless midget for the music video.
Summertime, Sea world fireworks are going off, yay!
Saquon Barkley, who has barely been able to stay healthy – I’m gonna go ahead and turn down this #13 million a year offer.
Year later when Giants won’t put it back on the table when they have the leverage of two franchise tags….you guys don’t respect me, I’m going to whine and complain publicly and threaten to pull a Leveon Bell and sit out. Because that worked great for him. Sitting out a year of your prime is always a great idea.
Mike Tomlin’s son Najee Harris is watching and there to tell us all how underappreciated RB’s are. Don’t worry, Najee. Mike is dumb enough to go to bat for you whether you crack 4 YPC or not because you were his pick and he views you as some kind of leader of men (even after you threw your OL under the bus when struggling last year).
Mike Shanahan proved you could plug in anybody in the backfield and still get 1400-2000 yds if you have the right blocking scheme. It got mediocre Terrell Davis into the hall of fame.
I’d green light the shit out of this series, if I was an entertainment exec. Right after boffing the latest aspiring talent.
Turns out I do have pepper and Tabasco so bloody mary tonight.
What about the celery salt man!
Not here. Neither is Worcester. Gonna have to bareback it tonight.
Goodness gracious. I go to work and come back and y’all actin’ the fool. Just … turn the lights out when you’re done.
Michael Jai White is my hero. Too bad I can’t Every understand him, because he is black and I am white, even though we seem to have the same sensibilities and love of cinema. Race separates us, and that is a divide which can never be breeched. so sayeth The Horde.
G’d mornin! 😃
*rummages through open tabs*
Ha!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=77wqrI-CP-s
🎶🎶
Morning my nigga.
/Been watching to much black people TV
The wife is going on a work trip this weekend, so it’ll be just the boys. Got some good shit lined up for us.
Oscar Mayer bacon, homie!
Got some good shit lined up for us.
Colombian Labrador? (NSFW)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HTTSLXwIjiQ
Good morning, Sean, Lack, and Stinky!
After work today, I’m checking out a water aerobics class at the rec center I joined after quitting the Y. (So far, no no-op “trannies” in the ladies’ locker room.. ::knocks wood:: 🤞🏼)
Also got an “extension” on one of the monthly household bills – got an email from State Farm saying “Oops! We forgot to generate your monthly bill!” (I pay monthly instead of semi-annually.) “You can just pay it along with next month’s bill when you get that one.” 😁
🤔
Oh. Now I see what I did there! 😄
Mornin’, GT.
Future Mrs. Patzer organized an aerobics group at our workplace long ago in an attempt to get my attention since I was too dense to pick up on more subtle signaling. Worked out pretty well; I don’t suppose TT is into aerobics?
Athleisure to the rescue.
Not so much – keeping the grass cut seems to be about as much exercise as he’s up for lately.
🙂
“DC Awards Convicted Felon With Contract For ‘Bogus’ EV Tech”
https://www.zerohedge.com/technology/dc-awards-convicted-felon-contract-bogus-ev-tech
Don’t hate the grifter, hate the grift-at least it’s only $680,000 which is chump change really.
Self-described inventor (and convicted felon) Lawrence Hardge received a $680,000 contract from the District of Columbia for a small device that he claims increases the range of electric vehicles.
Retrofitting those 40 vehicles with ICEs is cheaper and would more than double their range.
The big cat companies don’t want you to know about this simple device that can increase your efficient by 100%!
‘big cat companies’
‘your efficient’
I think I’ll hang up my hat now
Efficient Panther.
Big cats are zero emission vehicles, for some values of emissions. Very efficience.
I wish smaller cats were “zero emission.” 🙄😸🐱👤
🤢
A dirty job, but someone has to do it. They do their best to bury it, but lack the opposable thumbs to use the scoop.
Unless the litter box isn’t exactly where they want it to be that day – then they will “indicate” where they want it to be for next time.
Mornin’, reprobates!
Good morning, ‘patzie!