Once upon a gridiron, in a land where the improbable was just another Tuesday, a peculiar man named OMWC found a golden ticket glistening on his doorstep. This wasn’t the Charlie-and-the-Chocolate-Factory golden ticket, oh no. This was the NFL golden ticket, granting its bearer access to the… Browns game. (Why the Browns, nobody knows, but the universe has a strange sense of humour.)

Just as he was contemplating the alien artefact (the ticket, stay with me here), a shadow loomed over him. It was his gal, a woman with an air of invincibility. The woman we shall all know hence forth as Tomb Raider.

As unlikely of a pair this website has ever seen, Tomb Raider is a perplexing woman. She’s more than progressive enough to balance out OMWCs less than proggy positions. But she is as wiley as she is progressive. She is a woman who can’t be tied down. And OMWC would know. He tried! But she was all greased up and just wriggled out of the ropes. Like any tomb raider worthy of their moniker, escaping tight situations is a bit of a speciality.

While skilled in the art of escape, Tomb Raider is less than skilled in the art of football. She confided to OMWC last night that til this weekend she thought a quarterback was a refund policy, and the end zone was a mystical place guarded by ancient spirits.

But, as fate would have it, the stars had aligned, or misaligned depending on your perspective, and today they are off to a Browns game.

Will they be chanting incantations? Will they be in the stands doing an intricate dance that would make the ancients proud? Will they be named mascots of the match? It has yet to be seen.

In other news…I am coming into ownership of my father’s house. It’s a small place in the woods, more of a cabin really. 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom. But it sits on 4 acres of land, and 2 of them are already fenced in. The dogs are in LOVE. My Dad replaced the windows and the roof before he passed, but he didn’t get around to doing the ceilings which are heavily water damaged. Since the house has sat unoccupied for gone on a year now, the carpet is disgusting, and there’s a smell of  mould in the air.

I did a water test yesterday as the well water has a yellow hue to it. All the water tests have come back OK. The well is on the high end of alkalinity, and the pH is slightly too low. But this is all done before I’ve put any filters or softeners on the line, so I’m cautiously optimistic. Happily, it doesn’t need to be shocked. Win!

I went up there today to start doing some work, and delightfully I learned the walls are salvageable. They’re lauan panelling, and my wicked step-mother filled in all the lines with joint compound and then applied wallpaper. Happily, it’s just peeling right off. A quick refinish on the walls in the main living area, and I should be good to go.

My other happy discovery today is that the kitchen cabinets are solid wood. None of this manufactured particle board crap. So, while they’re hideous, they’ll simply be getting a facelift.

Earlier this week I scored a killer deal on waterproof laminate flooring for as low as 78¢ per square foot. I have 1200 square feet of carpeting to replace, and Gods willing, I’ll be starting on that next weekend.

And now, for the links.

Bob Villa’s recommended drywall alternatives

How to replace a disposal splash guard

Apparently the iPhone 15 is overheating.

The propagandists are saying it’s a seller’s market. I’ve got some strong opinions about this, largely about how the mortgage rates right now swayed my decision to buy Dad’s place instead of the one I had my heart set on.

FTX customers are set to testify against SBF

No more upgrading your Windows if you’re still on 7

I have OMWCs dog and my dog right now. This is what they did Friday night. Every 20 minutes. I got zero sleep. I am a cranky webdom.