Donald sat in The Oval Office, tapping a sealed envelope against the surface of his desk. When Barron entered, Donald’s face split with a smile.
“Father!” said the giant young man, “I came as soon as I received your summons!”
“A dutiful son is a price above rubies,” Doandl said.
“I don’t think that’s the quote,” the hair whispered.
“Be quiet,” the hat hissed, “Let the man cook.”
“I want to entrust this to you, my son,” Donald said, handing him the envelope. “You put that away. You’ll know when to open it.”
“Your faith in me is an honor,” Barron said solemnly.
“He needs to lighten up,” the hair said.
“He is the heir Donald requires,” the hat snapped.
“Go back to bed son,” Donald said. He pressed the Diet Coke button and a can rose from the desk, wreathed in icy vapor. “Here, this will help you sleep.”
Barron took the can and nodded firmly, walked out beaming with pride.
“I love that kid,” the hat said.
“But should we have given him the envelope?” the hair asked.
“He’ll be fine,” Donald said. “If those damn Canadians try anything, they will come after me first. Barron shall avenge me.”
“Fucking commies,” the hat sneered. “They wouldn’t dare.”
“They already defied my generous offer to be a state,” Donald said. “And then they refused to vote how I wanted. They are bad people.”
“Bad people,” the hat agreed.
“At least Julien Castro is gone,” the hair offered. “That was a step in the right direction, at least.”
“Pierre,” Donald scoffed. “Who in their right mind would vote for a grown man named ‘Pierre?’”
“Barron,” the hat said. “He will fight off the snowback hordes.”
“With my elaborate attack plan,” Donald said. “Some of my best work. They can never withstand our might.”
In Barron’s jacket pocket, his body heat, building as he took long strides back to The Residence, began to melt the Crayola plans, the wax making the envelope go glassy.
In Barron’s jacket pocket, his body heat, building as he took long strides back to The Residence, began to melt the Crayola plans, the wax making the envelope go glassy.
Writing plans in crayon so they melt is an interesting multidimensional interdimensional chess move.
I got all the way to the end before I LOLed.
You guys crack me up…
Saving the best line for last!
Huzzah!
on a side note, the post for tonight’s cartoon is waiting to be posted.
Not anymore, it’s scheduled.
*narrows gaze*
lulz
^^^
“They already defied my generous offer to be a state,” Donald said. “And then they refused to vote how I wanted. They are bad people.”
They are a disappointment.
Why the fuck would we want another deep blue state? We don’t need Canadian assholery; we have enough of our own already.
Now he’s doing standup
https://www.foxnews.com/politics/walz-says-says-harris-picked-him-vp-code-talk-white-guys
It amazes me how bad the Dems are at politics. Decades of running in safe districts and safe states and you get people like this with zero skills.
Wow. How on earth could they have lost?
Hahahahahahahahahaha
Oh man. Tell us wht that campaign was like more Walz
Why would a
Governor embark on a nationwide “listening” tour? Town halls with MN residents temporarily living out of state?
And that, right there, is how you get Blue Walz.
*golf clap*
Holy shit what a cuck.
OT: Ron, My son has a 9-5 Aero Wagon 5MT for sale. If you’re interested send me an email and I’ll reply with the link to the listing.
Nice ride! Thought about one of those as Saab was dying. GM killed them too fast.
Our Judge problem gets even crazier.
District Judge issues order banning Border Patrol from arresting illegals unless they have a warrant.
https://x.com/DerrickEvans4WV/status/1917620392610419150
Getting a warrant would require you to know ahead of time that the person was going to cross the border, or that the person is kind enough to sit around and wait for you. Crazy indeed.
I guess when a person threatens this judge and is found trespassing on her property, it would also require a warrant to arrest the person, right?
Well, she’ll be right there, so . . .
Is it not written into law that the border patrol has the authority to arrest people?
beyond absurd
They should arrest her ass for obstruction, abuse of power, treason, and being a fuck-wit.
The police arrest people without a warrant all the time. You get caught committing a crime; you get arrested.
To start, lodge in the DC jail without representation or hearing. Like was done to J6ers.
That is, straight up, an illegal order. No judge, anywhere in the US, has the authority to order a bonded law enforcement officer to ignore a crime that they personally witness. (We’ll just ignore the fact that they often do, for now…)
Won’t last long I bet. You’ve never needed a warrant.
I am gonna say they can just ignore that with impunity.
Of course, she’s a Biden appointee.
Of course, she’s a she.
So, when’s this judge getting removed from the bench?
It’s way past due for a Jacksonian “let them enforce it” response. Because SCOTUS won’t do shit.
If I was the trump Administration I would just straight up ignore that illegal order. When asked why, just hold up the Constitution and ask where does it say that the police can’t arrest illegals without a warrant?
I should have probably capitalized the t in Trump.
Nope. Arrest her. Remove her from the bench.
Geez, talk about strait out of central casting. Standard middle aged Liberal WASP woman judge appointed by Biden for the eastern district of California.
Thousands if not hundreds of thousands of defendants are keeping a close eye on this one.
‘I was pulled over and arrested on suspension of (insert whatever)” but the officer didnt have a warrant!’
Generally yes, the State should always have a warrant for that specific person for a specified reason.
Torn on this one. Leaning towards FedGov should be getting warrants for these folk.
If you’re torn, I think you’re mixing up the Border Patrol – those on the border seeing the crossing – with ICE – those in the interior rounding up the deportees.
This article read like it was much more of an ICE operation than a Border Patrol — not a case of “You can’t arrest them as they stream across the border” but more “You can’t just go to California farms and arrest all the day laborers and sort them out later.”
I’m personally torn — I can kind of see the point, but at the same time… there’s sufficient probable cause there (and in the Home Depot parking lot… most landscaping companies, etc….). I think at the least being able to ask for identification and detain until immigration status is ascertained isn’t terribly unreasonable given where we’re at.
Being very generous, I’m reading it as the judge doesn’t want the ICE equivalent of “stop and frisk” is all.
How does the UFW have standing? It is not legal to employ illegal aliens, so they should not be members of any labor unions. If anything the UFW should want the competition kicked out. Unless they’re confessing to have illegal aliens as members and thus is a criminal organization guilty of RICO violations of labor laws.
“Some of our legal members were swept up in this and bussed to the border” maybe? That seems to be the mantra the judge is going on about (that it could be going on… shipping out people here legally based on “brown skin” and location). Just guessing.
You’re thinking about it too hard.
It’s easy when you start with a desired result and work your way backward to a ruling, like a judge.
Straight out of central casting…
I cant listen to the whole thing. I cant do it.
Don’t like the company dress code? Work somewhere else, you entitled douchebags.
Is that guy wearing a tiny birthday party hat?
I’m thinking ice cream cone.
I thought it was some sort of hair-horn.
Yes, a growth or some kind of horn.
Some people get paychecks, and other people tiny unicorn birthday party hats.
I was wondering what the dunce caps are for.
And I’m not sure I would assume the sex any of that crowd.
Ok, so I wasn’t mad nor hallucinating.
“Thank you Steve. Thank you for making my shame more festive.”
Unicorn furry weirdo type shit.
I’d start with clean hands, no claw fingernails, no fad finger polish, no visible tatts, and no body mutulation jewelry. Who the fuck wants to be served food by some repulsive creature that can’t master basic hygiene?
You’ll have to go straight to robots. Those people don’t existing anymore.
I’ve seen visible tats, like full sleeves, in so many professional contexts that I’ve become desensitized. Agree that hand hygiene should be non-negotiable, so no bacteria-sheltering fake nails.
Yeah, regrettable tatts are the majority of American under the age of 40 or so now.
I am in the vanguard with my tatt-freeness.
You’re not the only one, Rhywun.
Perfection.
The typo of Donald’s name to Doandl fits perfectly with this Tokienesque dialog.
“Doandil, first of his name, son of Fredegar.”
Top comment, right there.
“Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Doandl R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn”
I feel like Trump is like Mister Magoo or Peter Sellers’s “Inspector Clouseau.”
As if Fate has just chosen him to bumble his way to success, in spite of himself, indeed because God wants to spite all of the very smart people™ and watch them sputter in infantile rage.
Like, in the case above, Trump’s plans would melt into scrambled crayon goo, but then Barron would leave the envelope out before opening it, and the newly congealed “goo” plan would get implemented and work well-enough, owing absolutely nothing to Trump’s “genius”, yet allowing him to gloat about it interminably.
That is really how I see him.
“Oh, Magoo, you genius.” /in Jim Backus voice
Or the frenetic foul mouthed version of Chauncey Gardner.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Being_There
I’m that way about the tariffs. There is no way this was some 4D chess plan. Yet renegotiating trade deals with other countries, and at least partial decoupling with China, might actually work out.
My guess with tariffs….Elon or someone else ran though the LLMs and after coaxing it to the preferred outcome said “even AI agrees its the best path”
-0.3% GDP loss? That is acceptable in every other year or quarter while a re-org is happening.
No, it is not a loss. The GDP grew 0.3% less than expected. That is my understanding but with govt numbers who the. hell knows. The numbers are fabricated and delivered via double talk.
Suthen – GDP declined 0.3% from the prior quarter. Consensus was growth of 0.4%
Take the current calculation of the usefulness of GDP as it is constructed with a huge grain of salt. Same applies to those on the street that forecast it.
https://www.wsj.com/economy/us-gdp-q1-2025-1f82f689?st=WLnTQR&reflink=desktopwebshare_permalink
Which is…nothing. continual growth is unsustainable so some contraction is bound to happen. Especially if we are striping out government funds and things FedGov have been propping up to give the illusion that growth was occurring. -0.3% is acceptable in my eyes
Given how much of that bullshit number is Government spending, I’d be more that happy in certain circumstances where it went down by double digits from cuts to said government.
Sensei: I half heard some radio knuckleheads gibbering about it and the best I could make of it was the numbers are treated the same as ‘spending cuts’.
On the hysterical hair-pulling over the tariffs and GDP contraction:
(1) Oh, so now we’re trusting government economic data?
(2) Trump didn’t take office until the third week of 1Q. The tariffs weren’t announced until 1Q was over. Hard to see how the tariffs caused a GDP contraction before they were even announced, much less impacted the supply chain.
(3) As far as markets being “anticipatory”, the capital markets, at least, bumbling along just fine until the announcement, when they immediately commenced hysterical hair-pulling. Nice anticipation there, finance bros.
(4) The initial announcement, and subsequent suspension of new tariffs (kinda mostly) for people who came to the table makes it perfectly clear that we are merely in the early stages of a negotiation.
Now, I think tariffs are dumb. I also think the current global managed trade regime needs to be pitched into a burning dumpster. So let’s see how this plays out, shall we?
Clouseau, definitely Clouseau. Also, the sputtering in infantile rage bit…perfect. That is exactly what they are doing.
Is that guy wearing a tiny birthday party hat?
I assumed it was his unicorn horn.
I think you may be on to something, Ozy. Unfortunately, we still have Congress to contend with.
Congress is 100% in “let’s just wait him out” mode. The current Congress members are products of the current system – why on earth would they want to legislate major changes to it? I mean, they can’t even bring themselves to exercise their clear Constitutional authority to regulate elections so they aren’t a fucking embarrassment. Canada (Canada!) uses paper ballots and gets them all counted within a day – we can’t do that? Of course we can, it’s just that the People Who Matter don’t want to.
https://www.engadget.com/ai/researchers-secretly-experimented-on-reddit-users-with-ai-generated-comments-194328026.html
This does not help my suspicion that y’all might be AI chatbots.
I am not surprised. That means the trolls from back in TOS days are now protesting Starbuck’s dress code policy.
They used to be female Ashley Madison members.
Why do you feel that why Sean?
We are all
TulpaEliza.Brother! Brother! Im right there with you. What would you say to the bots on this site if you could?
Does not compute.
Better (possibly paywalled – turn off JavaScript) info here.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2025/04/30/reddit-ai-bot-university-zurich/
I don’t know how this made it through an ethics committee, but I don’t understand modern academia so that’s not surprising.
Anytime you see ‘ethics’ in a job title, field of study or institution’s name it means that those people are dedicated to justifying immoral, evil shit.
Suthenboy:
Counterpoint: ethical hacking. It’s the difference between a white hat and a black hat. Unfortunately, too many people have conflated hacking (deep understanding of the systems and knowing where to look for flaws and exploits) with cracking (specifically hacking to bypass security or encryption methods).
Yeah ESR among others I’m sure have tried to win that battle – and failed.
I simply refuse to use the term “hack” or any derivative thereof.
rhywun:
It’s a hill I won’t give up.
I smell like bacon, therefore I am. *does the Robot in my cubicle
Abject failure
As President Trump marks his 100th day in office this week, there’s not much to celebrate about the U.S. economy.
Economic output is shrinking. The stock market has dropped sharply. And consumer confidence has tumbled to its lowest level since the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic.
That hardly looks like the new “golden age” the president promised on Inauguration Day just over three months ago.
You can’t just snap your fingers and reverse decades of destructive policies nd misallocated resources?
Why even try?
And yet years into every Dem administration they’re still blaming the Republican who came before him.
LOL never change, DNC mouthpiece.
Figures released by the Commerce Department Wednesday show that the United States’ gross domestic product contracted at an annual rate of 0.3% in the first quarter of the year, after growing at a solid pace of 2.4% in the final months of 2024.
The quarterly GDP report covers the final weeks of the Biden administration and the early months of Trump’s term, including the first rumblings of the president’s new trade war. Growth was dragged down in part by a surge of imports, as businesses and consumers raced to stock up before Trump’s sweeping tariffs took effect in early April. Imports are a net negative for GDP. Government spending was also down.
The horror.
The HORROR.
Since government spending counts toward GDP, I wonder how much of this very mild contraction (0.3% is the annualized number, which means 0.075% contraction during the quarter) is due to that reduction in government spending. By my math, and I may misplaced a decimal point, out of a $30TT economy, that’s something like $23BB.
I also wonder if our economic data is sufficiently refined to accurately detect and report a 0.075% change in GDP.