“I am not thinning!” the hair said, quivering with rage like angry Jello. “We all saw the pictures,” the hat...

“I told you that evil little dwarf was going to take the 5th,” the hat said, the lights of the TV reflected...

“I love being hated,” the hat said. “The retarded parts of the country hate me. They should. I’d kill them...

“I really thought the Iran War would be more fun,” the hat said. Donald grumbled as he pissed in the ficus...

“Pussy,” the hat said. “You goddamn coward.” Donald had his head down on his desk and Barron was holding a...

“You send me ova there and ah’ll take care of him for ya,” Lindsey drawled. The Oval Office was warm,...

“Turbans are not hats,” the hat whispered as he thrashed on the edge of sleep, eyes darting under swollen...

“Why did you let me get so drunk on that stuff?” the hair asked, miserable, perched on Donald’s shoulder like...

““Fuck you,” the hair grumbled, lop-sided on Donald’s head. “What the hell did I do?” the hat asked. The hair...