“Bear witness!” the hat said grandly as Donald opened the vault.
“Yay, a bunch of hats,’ the hair said with all the enthusiasm of roadkill.
“Be ye not afraid!” the hat said to the assembled world leaders. They all ignored him.
“BE YE NOT AFRAID!” the hat said.
“Yelling makes it so much more real to you, doesn’t it?”
“Look at this one,” Donald said to Giorgia. “First term campaign hat. Very rare. They only made a couplea hundred thousand of these.”
Giorgia nodded and smiled, shying away when Donald tried to put the hat on her head.
“Oh, yeah, put me on her head,” the hat said. “Do it, Donald! I command thee!”
“She is a cutie-pie,” the hair admitted.
“You know what they say about women with small heads, don’t you?” the hat said lecherously.
The hair sighed heavily.
“You saw her looking at Donald,” the hat said. “She’s gagging for it.”
“But never date an Italian woman,” the hat said. “Them bitches will straight up stab you.”
The hair rustled in silent agreement.
“You want a hat, short-arse?” the hat asked Zelenskyy.
Donald smirked and laughed to himself.
“Donald, ask him if he wants a hat,” the hat said. “Make him wear a MAGA hat! It’ll drive ‘em crazy in the EU.”
“He’s just a cheap little hustler, isn’t he⸮” the hair asked.
“He played a piano with his penis on TV,” the hat said.
“Ew.”
“Like touched his penis to the keys of a piano with his penis skin.”
“Well, Donald was on a reality show.”
“But not one where he got his penis out…” the hat said, “Well, at least not on camera.”
“I had fun filming that,” the hair said. “The green room was fantastic, all the skin flakes and Rogaine I could eat.”
Alol.
Also, how on earth did the existence of the Hat Vault not inspire a series of outraged stories on NPR the way Melania’s decorating choices did?
Would you let the media into your hat vault? I certainly wouldn’t.
To admit the existence of the Hat Vault is to admit the existence of the Hat.
Bonus in the corner (easier to see in a bigger photo) is the picture of him surviving his attempted assassination and pumping his fist.
I had to Google that image to confirm it was real. I thought it was a Photoshop. Apparently it’s the White House gift shop. NPR may not have done a story on it yet, but Yahoo did.
“Well, at least not on camera.”
And thank god for that.
The hair rustled in silent agreement.
“You want a hat, short-arse?” the hat asked Zelenskyy.
Donald smirked and laughed to himself.
For some reason I read that as Macron and not Zelensky.
Giorgia nodded and smiled, shying away when Donald tried to put the hat on her head.
Joe Biden would have tried to sniff her hair.
Tried? Has anyone ever put together a collection of all of the terrified women and girls Biden molested on camera?
See that didn’t actually happen, you were imagining it, just like his dementia.
It’s a file on Hunter’s laptop. Search for “spank bank”.
That guy’s actual spank bank is probably something 50 shades darker than anything SF has ever written.
“Well, at least not on camera.”
Think of the residuals.
You misspelled “residues.”
Toe May Toe
Toh Mah Toh
I guess Trump will never learn to tie his tie properly. He could hang his johnson out and you’d never know it.
All part of the plan.
There is a surprising lack of gold filigree on the hat vault. Also, each of those hats should be perched atop a realistic smirking Trump mannequin head.
Disappoint, I am.
all the skin flakes and Rogaine I could eat.
As is often the case, the happy ending ties the whole piece together. Like a rug. Or a hairpiece.
BTW, Mr. Threedoor from the overnight, regarding “Rush, Gross” – YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!. Now I have to find a way to make the next random thoughts all Rush, all the time.
Geddy Lee is an ugly woman. Horrible screeching sounds.
Also Canadian.
With so many colorful and entertaining names the word ‘penis’ should not be used outside of a bio lab, textbook or classroom. Outside of those venues a pecker is referred to to give emphasis. Using the word penis just kills that flat. It’s like bullets made from cotton balls.
I should qualify….
The use of the word ‘penis’ by the hat and the hair is appropriate as it accentuates their impotence.
I just argued in a circle, didnt I?
Too much coffee….I am finishing up my second pot since 1am.
I like “wedding tackle.”
From Mike Meyers on SNL: Twig and berries, meat and two veg.
I’ll settle for nothing less than “tallywhacker”.
Gentleman’s sausage.
There is something about Meloni. She’s cute, but she also has a lot of charisma about her and she knows how to use it, like when she shakes a person’s hand, leans in, makes a lot of eye contact, etc. If I ever met her I’d probably become a spy for Italy in 20 seconds.
Apropos
Yep, clay in her hands.
Also I learned something new from reading that article. Benito Mussolini was ‘right wing’ just like her. I did not know that. I was always under the mistaken impression that Mussolini was a fascist.
There is no difference between even just right-of-center, right-wing, and of course fascist. That is if your perspective is far enough to the left (and most media is).
She’s Italian. It is an art form there.
I see that. I used to think French was the hot nationality.
The French?
???
You want hot, look to Gaels not Gauls.
Not French. Not Italian.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=voP3U83kigk
This.
Our Navy needs to step up its game. Hopefully nobody hurt.
Blaze breaks out aboard USS New Orleans off Okinawa’s coast
https://www.stripes.com/branches/navy/2025-08-20/uss-new-orleans-fire-okinawa-18822804.html
Source – Stars and Stripes
Needs to run over more Chinese Coast Guard ships.
Did the USS Katrina pass by?
That’s a substantial fire, hopefully they have it under control quickly. I do hear from reliable sources that small fires on certain bigger ships are pretty common.
“Let’s ditch these losers and go up on the roof. You gotta see the view.”
I shouldn’t be surprised, but I am. Recall the influencers recording their meal that had the vehicle plow through their table? Guess the car brand!
https://x.com/iowahawkblog/status/1958134706295181592
I know the answer, but I’m trying to come up with the funniest wrong answer…
Trabant
Audis mostly drive themselves into swimming pools IIRC.
Can’t be, the waiting list is up to sixty years.
Dodge?
Ram?
That Nissan went Rogue!
Nissan Horror Theatre never made it past the pilot episode.
Wouldn’t it be Honda Horror Theater that had a Pilot episode?
The Honda version was more of a backdoor pilot.
Maybe they are making a sequal to The Car .
Side note: You can do a lot worse as an actor than having the screen name of ‘Ronnie Cox’.
You could spell it different.
Bubble? What bubble?
The sell-off appeared to be sparked in part by an MIT report that claimed 95% of companies investing in generative AI are seeing no returns, and was potentially deepened by earlier comments from OpenAI’s Sam Altman suggesting investors may be caught in an AI bubble. Late last week, Altman drew a parallel between today’s AI frenzy and the 1990s dotcom bubble, when internet company valuations spiked dramatically before crashing.
And while the MIT study attributed failures to corporate “learning gaps” and flawed integration rather than actual AI model quality, the market reaction highlights growing concerns about AI’s commercial viability.
The Oracle sees all, knows all. Maybe.
I don’t think Oracle has released an AI product.
No, they keep theirs securely locked up in an air-gapped system inside a faraday cage.
https://avoyagethroughfilm.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/06-chess.jpg
The pricing model will require AI to decipher.
More fallout from what we saw last week, where some influential people were observing that AI might have hit a ceiling for now, and that the path for general artificial intelligence isn’t the path we’re on.
And what a lot of us peons have been saying for a while now.
Keep saying it so the stock drops a bit.
Marvin Minsky mutters from the beyond.
Buh bye!
I really appreciate the diligent police work of the white-haired cop who saunters over and holds the legs of another cop.
He doesnt watch the news? Byeeeeeee….
Small hat?
They make your wedding tackle look bigger?
I thought it was a short woman with a flat head that we were searching for.
Owns a liquor store.
I thought it was a long cool woman in a black dress.
It’s not a liquor store….it’s bass boat.
You warned me last night. You were right.
BTW, I had no idea she was so tiny. Cute Italian spinner, woo-hho!
Aug 20. This is one of those days when you know you are in Louisiana. It is Sahara hot out there. The sun feels like a giant kid got his hands on a magnifying glass a mile in diameter. Nothing is moving. No birds. No squirrels. Not me. Nothing.
Wait…the hummingbirds are buzzing away but they dont count. They never pay attention to anything.
Heat index 110. Dewpoint 95.
Heat warnings….stay hydrated stay in shade call 911 if… the usual stuff
We are staying in and making shepherds pie.
Right now I am having the same thoughts about the people who want to ban air conditioning as they have about me.