There lived in a town most hideous
A man by the name of Phineas
His pheromones were so fearsome
They drew all the ladies, even the winsome
To accept the root and seed of Phineas
Who was a loathsome man, so perfidious
He left them gibbering and dumb
And always, always quite full of cum

It came that Warty heard of his prowess
His power over the ladies seemed so boundless
And Warty himself did so want this
From his thoughts he could not dismiss
So he arranged a meeting with this Phineas
And in the planning Warty was quite punctilious
He would take if Phineas would not give
Even if Pheromonious Phineas became combative

“You there,” Warty bellowed. “Stooped Phineas.
“I find your body odd and your manner curious.
“Tell me how you make the ladies clamor,
“For such a tiny man devoid of any glamour.”
“I know you, Warty,” said Phineas
“A pervert of space and time, most mysterious,
“I shall never tell you my secret,
“Not for all the hairless virgins in Egypt!”

“Then I shall beat and thrash you most vigorous
“Until I know how you make ladies so libidinous!”
Phineas just laughed and produced weapons
“Warty, damned Warty… I shall blow you to the heavens!”
Warty unsheathed his Doomcock, evil and obsidious
“You shall pay for your words so invidious, Phineas!
“Flee, little man, so that I might chase!
“In you I will carve a way to get to third base!”

Phineas threw out his pheromones
And the ladies of his town let out moans
Lust turned them into Meanads
That demanded Warty’s swollen gonads
Phineas whipped them into a mob
To cover his retreat and weapon lob
“Grenade!” he cried, “It’s a killer!”
Warty batted it away, and vaulted a pillar

“I will rend your glands,” Warty growled
“I will render your body befouled!”
Fury settled on the women
As the air filled with fresh lemon
“Do you like my signature scent?”
Pheneas asked, “It manufactures consent!”
“Oh, Phineas!” the ladies screamed
The were gripped by rage undreamed

The townswomen swarmed Warty Hugeman
And he threw two of them into a trashcan
“I’m sorry, ladies,” Warty did call
“You were too fat for me, after all!”
A hot one attacked, mouth filled with cries
Quite beautiful but for her bulging eyes
“I would have enjoyed your charms,”
Warty lamented, as he broke her arms

But one broke Phinaes’ spell and rejoiced
“Oh, Warty, you have made me so moist!”
More women began to fall
For Warty’s muscles, and ceased to brawl
“Warty! Oh, Warty!” they said as one
“With Phineas we are wholly done!
“Take us, Hugeman, Phineas we abjure
“Handome manliness brought us a cure!”

“Run, little Phineas!” Warty called
“You are short, ugly, and bald!
“I have broke your spell and here will dwell
“In your town of ladies tamed by my smell.”
Phineas cursed the heavens, “Hugeman!
“I shall return, smellier than ever and tan!”
But the flying Doomcock caught him then
And pieces of Phineas spread over the glen

“Gather them,” Warty commanded
“The chunks of Phineas that landed
“Let them be defiled by howling dogs
“And burn what you don’t feed to hogs!”
Any woman who over Phineas wept
Warty judged to be unkempt
And withheld his Huge affections
Denying them his Doomcockly erections