How to Think Like a Roman Emperor
If you have anger issues, this one is a great tool (h/t mindyourbusiness)
This week’s book:
Discourses and Selected Writings
Disclaimer: I’m not your Supervisor. These are my opinions after reading through these books a few times.
Epictetus was born a slave around 50 ad. His owner was Epaphroditus, a rich freedman who was once a slave of Nero. Though he was a slave Epictetus was sent to study philosophy under Musonius Rufus.
Epictetus was lame and there are some stories it was caused by his master and others that it was caused by disease.
He was a freedman when all philosophers were banished from Rome in 89 by the Emperor Domitian. He then started his school in Greece, and had many students. He did not leave any writings from his lessons, but one of his students, Flavius Arrian, took notes and wrote the Discourses.
Epictetus did not marry, had no children, and lived to be around 80-85. In retirement, he adopted a child that would have been abandoned and raised him with a woman.
He died sometime around AD 135.
He is my favorite Stoic teacher. I love his bare bones and very straight forward approach.
Following is a paragraph-by-paragraph discussion of one of his lessons. Epictetus’s text appears italicized in bold, my replies are in normal text.
Against the Contentious and Brutal Part III
What then? Do you want me to be despised?—By whom? By men of understanding? And how will men of understanding despise the gentle and the self-respecting person? No, but by men without understanding? What difference is that to you? Neither you nor any other craftsman cares about those who are not skilled in his art.
Being criticized by people that have no true understanding of what they are criticizing is meaningless. Only when I am criticized by people I respect does it faze me. Then it bothers me, not because I feel insulted, but if they are criticizing me then maybe I am wrong.
—Yes, but they will fasten themselves upon me all the more.—What do you mean by the word “me”? Can anyone hurt your moral purpose, or prevent you from employing in a natural way the sense-impressions which come to you?—No.—Why, then, are you any longer disturbed, and why do you want to show that you are a timid person? Why do you not come forth and make the announcement that you are at peace with all men, no matter what they do, and that you are especially amused at those who think that they are hurting you? “These slaves do not know either who I am, or where my good and my evil are; they cannot get at the things that are mine.”
Other people’s opinions do not bother me, especially if they don’t know me. If I tried to live in a way to impress strangers and not be true to myself, it would cost me more than my self respect and there would be no guarantee that it would make people like or respect me.
25In this way also those who inhabit a strong city laugh at the besiegers:[13] “Why are these men taking trouble now to no end? Our wall is safe, we have food for ever so long a time, and all other supplies.” These are the things which make a city strong and secure against capture, and nothing but judgements make similarly secure the soul of man. For what manner of wall is so strong, or what manner of body so invincible, or what manner of possession so secure against theft, or what manner of reputation so unassailable? For all things everywhere are perishable, and easy to capture by assault, and the man who in any fashion sets his mind upon any of them must needs be troubled in mind, be discouraged, suffer fear and sorrow, have his desires fail, and his aversions fall into what they would avoid. If this be so, are we not willing to make secure the one means of safety which has been vouchsafed us? And are we not willing to give up these perishable and slavish things, and devote our labors to those which are imperishable and by nature free? And do we not remember that no man either hurts or helps another, but that it is his judgement about each of these things which is the thing that hurts him, that overturns him; this is contention, and civil strife, and war? That which made Eteocles and Polyneices[14] what they were was nothing else but this—their judgement about a throne, and their judgement about exile, namely, that one was the greatest of evils, the other the greatest of goods.
As long as I am secure in my discernment of what I control and what I don’t, outside voices are just noise. When I let myself react poorly, it is like opening a gate for invaders to get in. I know people think I am weird and I am OK with that. Last time I tried to impress people was probably 3rd or 4th grade.
30And this is the nature of every being, to pursue the good and to flee from the evil; and to consider the man who robs us of the one and invests us with the other as an enemy and an aggressor, even though he be a brother, even though he be a son, even though he be a father; for nothing is closer kin to us than our good. It follows, then, that if these externals are good or evil, neither is a father dear to his sons, nor a brother dear to a brother, but everything on all sides is full of enemies, aggressors, slanderers. But if the right kind of moral purpose and that alone is good, and if the wrong kind of moral purpose and that alone is bad, where is there any longer room for contention, where for reviling? About what? About the things that mean nothing to us? Against whom? Against the ignorant, against the unfortunate, against those who have been deceived in the most important values?
Getting mad at people for acting like people is not a productive use of time. I try to remember that when others get upset about things outside of their control. If I were to try to convince them that stressing about things that haven’t happened or might happen all I would accomplish would be to convince them that talking to me was a waste of time. Instead I try to steer the conversation that way without being too overt or judgemental. I think I have been able to calm some people down this way, but I am not that good at it.
I was not stoic yesterday. Broke my keyboard in frustration and yelled all sorts ob obscene things hope the neighbors did not hear me. Stoicism is not my strong suit.
Today i feel much better. The issue wa solved and it was not my fault anyways. I have logged off work and will probably overdrink being the last day of work for the year. I already had 3 glases of wine and a beer. I bought a cigar and i will smoke it with some whisky. After that i will see.
Hope for a calm two weeks. Things are not necesarily great but they could be a hell of a lot worse.
Did epictetus drink wine i wonder.
True for me as well.
I’m sure he did, but off the top of my head I can’t remember him talking about it.
I am in need of stoicism today.
First the DBAs were AWOL while we waited on them to do a key step in the upgrade. Now some security software we have is bogging down the actual run, which it didn’t do in the lower environments.
😭
And the DBAs screwed up their step, further delaying the work, so that we’ve been required to split it into two outages instead of getting it all done in the first.
This is a great way to remain stoic if you have a Stellantis hybrid Jeep product. I’d spend the $100 just for the LOL.
This Jeep Is Getting Recalled So Much That Owners Are Making Recall Merit Badges
https://www.theautopian.com/this-jeep-is-getting-recalled-so-much-that-owners-are-making-recall-merit-badges/
I have a 300,000 high mileage badge on my truck, I would not want a recall badge, but if it had 14 recalls in 5 years, I might collect them.
That’s a bit over once every four months of ownership if you bought one of the original models.
Mrs. Dean’s FJ has a 200K high mileage badge.
Also a Jeep Rescue Vehicle sticker, which amuses me.
You’ll be putting the Cummins in some project rig when the Dodge rots off around it.
This is part of why I’m a former Subaru owner.
Although…hey @NotAdhan, would you be interested in a shooting Badge of Ownership? Dad’s laser engraver hasn’t been doing anything lately.
Mini has quite a few badges you can get and mount on your grill.
I wouldn’t need one of those to remind me, my Husky leaves enough hair behind so I have to vacuum the wife’s car every week.
My WRX does not have the badge-mounting badge on it, so I’m good.
🙄 What is this, Scout badges?
Ron, hope you have seat protectors.
(@ article, not ES)
My main game has put up a website for the pew-curious:
https://www.theuspsa.com/
Better late than never.
(I snark, but the site looks pretty good. Hey, guys, come out and try USPSA!!!)
I don’t recognize the main chick presenter. But she’s a good choice.
When I let myself react poorly, it is like opening a gate for invaders to get in.
I wasn’t very stoic today. The straw that broke the camel’s back was when my shoelaces on my regular training shoes snapped when I switched back into them from my squat shoes. If anyone at the gym heard me curse, they said nothing.
You just have to endeavor to persevere.
🙂
Wife parked the car on the street at work and the side mirror got destroyed, most likely by a south Asian Amazon delivery driver. Much stoicism needed.
I see the problem being wimminz drinving.
Technically, wimminz choosing where to park, but, yes.
$2,300 for my gf’s hit n run.
Tell her not to do that anymore. 😉
Ouch
I wanted to share this the other day, but couldn’t find a version outside a paywall until now. Here is my son-in-law being stoic as he arrived home Tuesday. He’s cold and wet from manning the rails, but anyone who did that got off the ship first. I’m sure his wife had something to do with that decision. He’s the tall one on the right.
https://www.kitsapsun.com/gcdn/authoring/authoring-images/2025/12/17/PBKS/87806056007-gallery-only-nimitz-last-return-46.JPG?width=1320&height=846&fit=crop&format=pjpg&auto=webp
That’s cool.
The navy needs to bring back beards.
From what I heard the Navy is the most lax about grooming. When they do joint operations with other branches, they will match the grooming standards of other branches out of respect.
That’s great TOK.
Coming home was always exciting, but a little difficult also.
There is a ton of coverage for the ship arriving. Make sure you’re not in a dusty room if you watch any of the videos. They were out for 9 months, and this is the ship’s last arrival in Bremerton. My kid got passed over for a story because she had seen him this summer when his mom passed away, and last week she went to San Diego to spend 2 days with him, and they were looking for people who had not seen each other the whole time.
Why was arriving home difficult? Just the adjustment back to non-military life?
I would get used to being on my own and my wife got used to being in charge.
Never any major problems, but sometimes we would irritate each other a little in the first couple weeks.
Unfortunately we had way too much practice at it, so we got used to that also.
I learned this lesson late in life after I joined the army and was away from my immediate family for some time. Both my parents are a flavor of Cluster B Narcissists. My sister was moulded into one by them and I was the whipping boy. Physical distance allowed me to decouple from their emotional bullshit and allowed me to see the situation with perspective for the first time in my life.
I had not realized that I had spent my entire life up to that point trying to please people who were not trying to get a rise out of me and attention, be it positive or negative.
I don’t care what they think anymore. I do care how they treat my children the average two times a year they bother to pretend interested in their grandchildren. If I can insulate the emotional manipulation from the next generation my kids won’t grow up thinking they have to please some jerks to get ahead in life.
“I think I would’ve been a good son.”
https://buttondown.com/monteiro/archive/how-to-bury-your-father/
I wonder why there were issues…
Followed a few paragraphs later by:
Speaking of which; the last thing my father told me was to go fuck myself. This happened on the phone a few years ago, during a call with my mother. I heard her turn away from the phone and ask him if he wanted to say hello. I heard him reply in the background. Tell him to go fuck himself. And that was that.
I wonder if there’s a connection. Maybe ol’ Dad was erasing him.
God it gets even better. The writer has apparently erased his whole family then grouses about them considering him to be the wayward one. LOL
His wife’s grandkids can deal with all of their end of life care.
He housed them, fed them, clothed them, built them a house, bought them quads, bikes, horses, cows, dogs, took them to Africa…
Won’t bother to even call his grandkids on their birthdays much less drive the 17 miles to see them even though he drives within 4 miles of where they live multiple times a week. F em
Oh and there was a Cessna 150 and flying lessons in there too along with the “the grandkids are all equal.”
Bitch you had to ask your wife what your granddaughters name was.
That def seems disfunctional from both ends.
I’m guessing this is him.
Totally functional on his side. https://www.instagram.com/mikemonteiro/?hl=en
Do the best you can from where you start from.
I used my father’s assholishness to ensure I was not that way, but it still showed up occasionally.
My mother’s father was frequently, but not always, a belligerent bastard. When he retired, he went from being a heavy drinker to an outright alcoholic. My grandmother divorced him. He moved in with some other woman and cut ties with his family. He passed away about 20 years later. My mother never saw him during those 20 years.
I would have appreciated belligerent to manipulative gaslighting narsacists for parents.
Is what it is. I survived and my sister who is just as bad but more flippant about it unpersoned me long ago then moved to Arkansas. Hope she enjoys the humidity and chiggers.
Free! I’m free! Fweedom!
Citing safety (40 mph wind gusts and 22ºF at 200′ is no joke), I pulled the plug on my local project.
2 weeks of vacation starts now.
Sounds like
You could have gotten some free air miles out of that deal.
From ded thred:
@tonio
She may never be a judge again, though if she were to move to a state like CA or OR, they might vote for her specifically because of it.
That said, her career may be over as a judge, but you know that MSNOW would hire her as a “legal expert” in a heartbeat, and she’d be paid far more than a judges salary.
You can never reach peak FL or peak Nissan!
“I’m being dead serious. The police need to look into a grey Nissan with Florida plates, possibly a rental. That was the car he was driving.”
How a Reddit post about the Brown shooter ‘blew this case right open’
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2025/12/19/brown-university-shooting-suspect-reddit-post-mit/87843003007/
TUG-OF-WAR: Two rats engaged in a dramatic 3-minute battle over half a bagel at a New York City subway station.
https://x.com/FoxNews/status/2002025097687670923
You see, if we didn’t ban guns, they would have resolved this conflict in seconds.
Unfortunately the constitution only protects the right to arm bears, not rats.
Naked mole rats?
They are bare.
If I were to try to convince them that stressing about things that haven’t happened or might happen all I would accomplish would be to convince them that talking to me was a waste of time.”
That’s describes a good many conversations I have with my wife. She stresses out bigly about things she reads in the NY Times, Trump this, conservatives that, etc. etc.. But doesn’t like talking about them with me because better than half the time I don’t agree with her, which stresses her even more. Thankfully politics doesn’t dominate our lives.
Yeah. That reminded me of conversations I had with my mom when I was in Iraq and she was trying to get me all worked up over her mother dying.
I passenger off when I told her that not only that I could not do anything from the other side of the planet but it was counterproductive for me to even think about it as I had my own host of problems to deal with that I could do something about.
Just noticed that the heater in my 100 gal fish tank is flashing a red ER code and the water temp has dropped 5 degrees. The troubleshooting steps to revive it did not work – its dead. Note to self: This is why it’s important to always have a spare heater onhand. Off to the pet store…..
Good luck
I want to get a fish tank. Unfortunately, I watch a guy on YouTube, SerpaDesign, and just a regular old fish tank would never do, and I don’t have the wherewithal to build what I would want, nor to properly maintain it.
A friend of mine had this huge hexagonal 300 gallon saltwater tank in the middle of her living room. Outside of rotgut vodka and cigarets it was what she spent her cash on. She loved that thing and all the critters in it.
I would want to build a Florida Springs tank ecosystem. I grew up swimming the Florida springs. I used to SCUBA dive in them.
I had a 100 gallon one for years. The family never helped with maintenance. I finally got rid of it.
Fish tanks require regular maintenance. I do it religiously every 10 – 14 days and it takes me about an hour. Other than feeding them once a day no other care is usually needed.
My Granmaw had a large one, but as she got older, sometimes she would forget to clean it and it would smell like the ocean.
I quit restocking my tank 2 years ago as I plan on getting rid of it once the current inhabitants die off. Most of my fish are reaching the end of their expected life spans. I have 4 big clown loaches that are 11 years old, these fish have been reported to live 20+ years in captivity. I will have to sell or rehome these fish as I can’t wait that long. I want to start traveling and don’t want the bother of having someone take care of the tank.
Thankfully that’s just a quick replacement, and not too expensive.
I found a replacement for $60, disaster adverted. Aquarium heaters today are much better than the ones made 20 years ago. Much better diagnostics and error detection, they shut off and go cold when a problem is detected. The old heaters were prone to overheating the water and slowly cooking your fish to death.
Fulton County just quietly admitted that they rigged the 2020 election. Trump was indicted for questioning these results and MTG caught hell for not certifying.
https://notthebee.com/article/fulton-county-georgia-admits-they-illegally-certified-315000-ballots-in-2020-election
And nothing else will happen.
Government at all levels is rife with criminals, yet very few ever get to meet Bubba. We’ve been robbed blind and severely abused. What’s worse is that there doesn’t seem to be a way out of it.
I know. Wake me up when people start getting tarred and feathered.
In some old English court records the prosecutor just doesn’t show up to court and so the criminal is acquitted and released.
https://x.com/lefineder/status/2001242148486963426
I cannot believe a man in Boston New England would hit another man with a club. seems unrealistic.
It’s real
Greetings from North Nowhere Vermont where we’re experiencing a regression to the mean. Yesterday the snow was at late-January accumulation but the temperature stayed above freezing last night and peaked at about 55F early this afternoon. Now it’s raining but still above freezing so snow is still melting like mad.
This morning also featured some pretty strong winds. The covers to my snow blower and wood chipper blew off but I was able to find and secure them before it started raining. My wood splitter is currently parked at a neighbor’s in a sheltered corner so I assume it’s OK.
Tonight’s low is forecast to be 17F so all the wet will turn into ice. For tomorrow a neighbor planned a kids sledding event down their camp’s steep 1/3 mile long driveway. I think the challenge instead will be getting up the driveway which is too bad because otherwise it’s supposed to be a nice sunny day.
Two more days to the Winter Solstice when the days start getting longer! Except around here the temperature lags the sun by a month. Hopefully the rest of the season will be more seasonable.
youtube still gives me videos from the lefty duck farmer so i knew it was cold then warm in vermont
It rained a lot yesterday, then the temperature dropped overnight. We were supposed to have an icy mess on our hands, but somehow everything evaporated and outside a few frozen puddles, no ice. It will be a green Christmas this year, and we’re just fine with that because we’re making the usual holiday rounds and that involves some driving.
We got shit on by rain last night. We had been really cold, got warmer, and today are in the mid 30s. Forecast calls for low 60s next week.
No hemp rope alongside the driveway with knots in it every couple of feet?
Those are nearly standard at most of the sledding hills around here.
Ed West
@edwest
Today’s post, on why I hate the UK
https://x.com/edwest/status/2001907757738521030
the mysterious Drukpa Kunley …
ɖʀʊӄքǟ ӄʊռʟɛʏ 🇧🇹🇹🇩
@kunley_drukpa
WHAT IS ‘ETHNIC LITTERING’?
An occasional feature of history – mass population transfers of groups from their home territories to other, different and often alien territories for labour or other ideological purposes. This type of motivated transfer of non-sequitur groups is ‘Ethnic Littering’; the process of moving groups into territories where they make no (historical or cultural) sense, ‘Littering’ in the sense that the transfer is frequently careless, short-termist and unconsidered and creates and entrenches cultural, political and demographic problems in the territories these new populations are imported into
These top down transfers (as distinct from colonisation) are rarely reversed and the transferred populations often establish themselves in the new territory over time, sometimes creating novel creole fusion cultures. Where these creole fusions are unsuccessful or only partially successful entire territories are frequently condemned to intractable kinds of low level conflict because of the irreconcilable nature of the groups that have been forced to live up against other post-‘Ethnic Littering’
…
THE INCAN ‘MITMA’ SYSTEM
The Inca mitma system was a state-directed policy of population resettlement and so kind of ‘Ethnic Littering’ used to strengthen imperial control across the Andes. Under this system, entire ethnic groups were forcibly relocated from their ancestral homelands to distant regions of the empire.
…
THE OTTOMAN ‘SÜRGÜN’ SYSTEM
A similar policy to the Incan mitma system, sürgün again a state-directed policy of forced population transfer used to consolidate control and repopulate and develop strategic regions of the empire.
https://x.com/kunley_drukpa/status/2001701971917492735
Thanks for these, Ron. Took ’em to heart w great reward recently. (Repeated from Wed): In a long-overdue cleanup, I found an external drive.. in which I presciently backed up all my shit. So I *do* have vids of my band playing live in Korea and warm-up recordings we made in the studio. I also have my pictures of my decade abroad, which I thought I’d forever lost. That was a gut punch. Deep and personal.
@Ron (and all): Sincerely, though also with ‘playful’ self-depreciation, when I thought I’d lost ’em all, I out-loud decided I was going to accept it as a stoic lesson. Fretting and bitching wouldn’t bring them back and would only add to my dreadful thoughts of that loss. I’ve lost a lot of memory on the way, and those pics I took were of *my* time. That was a profoundly unpleasant feeling of loss, but I’m glad I put it to good use. I decided to get everything I could on FB so I had *some* of ’em preserved. I go day by day collecting old posts and have made it an interesting project, so I did actively put the ‘loss’ to use.
These weeks are lots of fun in history, documenting me signing my first contract in Korea in October, 2009, only five months after graduating IU.
Me on Dec 17, 2009: “Hot damn! I have an itinerary and I leave Dec. 22. This is a positive development.”
This was after a bit of visa dealing in Chicago, but IIRC my actual flight was Dec 26 or 27? (I’ll find out soon!)
Half day at work, face still numb from dentistry, and taking 5yo out w Mom.
Big news from that interview, or recruitment interview. I hope things proceed to Phase II w in-person interview.
Meets financial goals and am very excited. They also described it as being a foot in the door gig.
Could be nothing but could be big. For now, hope but not expectation. I shall soo
Two more days to the Winter Solstice when the days start getting longer! Except around here the temperature lags the sun by a month. Hopefully the rest of the season will be more seasonable.
I was just thinking about that. The curve (for lack of a better descriptor) is not symmetrical. In terms of light as well as temperature, as far as I can tell.
Yes, the weather lags the solar cycle.
I just saw the news about Biffle. I have been watching his youtube stuff for close to a year, I guess. He seemed like a really good guy. His wife was a babe.
Stoicism engaged.
Damn. I missed that. RIP.
Heinous
Immigrants’ rights advocates are sounding the alarm about noise machines placed high above the parking lot on light poles at a Home Depot in Cypress Park.
The machines put out a constant high-pitched beeping noise that has day laborers, like Jose De La Torre, who goes there in hopes of finding work, reaching for earplugs to try and block the piercing sounds out.
“It’s bad, it’s bad,” De La Torre told KTLA. “It’s annoying. You have to walk away, always use your earplugs. Otherwise, people get headaches.”
De La Torre is not alone. Many of the other day laborers who frequent the parking lot started using earplugs soon after the machines were installed last month, though they only block out so much of the noise, he said.
“What’s the purpose?” he added. “I guess they probably don’t like the laborers here.”
How dare they?
It’s crazy that companies don’t like people loitering on their property. They should be providing heated and air conditioned shelters.
So they’re branching out beyond teens?
Oh, no
Chipotle is officially in its Ozempic era.
Today, the brand is launching an all-new High Protein Menu in the U.S. and Canada, which it describes as “a clean menu for the protein movement.” The menu comes with six items, including proteinmaxxed burritos and bowls and a new salad option.
The real stand-out, though, is what Chipotle is billing as its “first-ever snack,” but is really just a tiny cup of chicken. The High Protein Cup is a topping-less, four-ounce serving of adobo-seasoned chicken that you could easily hold in the palm of your hand—and it’s a perfect, if somewhat depressing, symbol of the GLP-1 age.
For Chipotle, the new menu means embracing two emerging trends in the food and beverage space: bringing off-menu, TikTok-inspired hacks into its official product offerings, and offering more nutritionally optimized (and visually unappealing) options as GLP-1 weight loss drugs begin to transform American consumers’ eating habits.
Muh carbohydrates!
You can’t just eat protein You need lots of rice and beans and flour and sweetened sauces.
Omnomnomnom!
They’ve offered their “lifestyle bowls” online for a while now.
https://www.chipotle.com/lifestyle-bowls
I get a keto salad now and then. Nice to have the option.
Neph- that was the first thing I thought of. Convenience stores have been using audio countermeasures against loitering kids for decades.
I’m being stoic on behalf of one of my direct reports.
He’s 30, doesn’t drink, eats healthy meals, goes to the gym regularly. But he started feeling some odd symptoms which the doctors poo-pooed since his blood work looked fine.
I took him aside and said I was worried about his weight loss. He went back and insisted on scans. Hodgkin Lymphoma, mass in lung of 15cm x 9cm. That’s HUGE.
He’s in surgery now getting fitted with a port for 6 months of chemo.
Poor dude. Most of my poor health issues I brought on myself.
Praying for this kid. 🙏🏻
Amen.
Seconded
Yikes.
Sorry Hayek, hope he pulls through.