I got a screwy one for ya.

This is my review of Pipeworks Cherry Lime Rye:

The Ref begins at a mansion in… *checks notes*

*shudders*

…Connecticut. Here a cat burglar named Gus manages to botch a haul of jewelry from Martha Stewart, or whoever. As far as I am aware only thing I’ve ever seen set in Connecticut is Turn: Washington’s Spies and the Gilmore Girls. The former was great because they let Angus MacFadden fly his Scottish freak flag, and the latter I will pause for you to swoon over Lauren Graham.

Good? Okay lets continue.

Gus, played by America’s favorite chain smoking dickweed, Dennis Leary, manages to escape the enormous dog the owner left in charge of the mansion. He finds his getaway driver fled the scene and comes across Lloyd and Caroline on their way back from marriage counseling. After a brief moment of Dennis Leary getting annoyed and telling them to shut the fuck up before I shoot you both, he ends up taking them hostage in their home. This being Connecticut, they don’t have any means to turn the tables on Gus and are forced to do what a man with a gun tells them to do. Also neither of them trusts the other enough to actually work together against a man taking them hostage. Besides, he’s rocking the 90’s movie standard Beretta 92F and actually has pretty decent trigger discipline, so better just do what he says.

Now this movie is basically Dennis Leary being an asshole that is stuck as a de facto marriage counselor between some adulterous AWFL and her husband played by Kevin Spacey. Do they have children? Oh yeah, the kid is a shitbag. He’s is a privileged twerp that tries to tag along with Gus but is rebuffed because he’s a privileged twerp. He is home from military school, and has a duffel bag filled with cash from blackmailing the school’s commander. The situation only deteriorates when extended family show up for Xmas dinner. Gus is forced to pose as their marriage counselor working on a novel therapy, at dinner, on Xmas eve…of course to maintain appearances he takes the actual counselor’s name: Dr. Wong. There are other characters of course to make me believe Connecticut is an early stop along Dante’s Inferno, such as a neighbor dropping off fruitcake and getting drunk off his fat ass, and the military school commander coming back for his money.

Gus eventually gets in contact with his getaway driver and arranges an escape via a stolen boat. Not before everyone decides the actual villain in this story is the mother in law, and this common enemy is what keeps the marriage from falling apart. The son knows a trail to the docks through the woods, and takes Gus to his escape.

Can they make this movie again? Probably not, our culture is not suited for black comedies anymore so the number of people that will actually find this humorous is limited to the number that find Dennis Leary funny. I have to wonder if he’s not sufficiently leftist enough because they did him dirty on this one, since it was set during the holidays but released in springtime so it was always destined for a second rate cult following. Also, the trigger discipline.

Like this movie, this is meant for a niche audience. On the surface I will admit I just happen to like the cherry lime combination….in any other context. This is something of a cruel joke. Its a sour ale, but they don’t call it that. I guess its a rye ale, but that’s again a cruel joke. You know what? Give this to your mother in law. Pipeworks Cherry Lime Rye: 1.9/5