“Turbans are not hats,” the hat whispered as he thrashed on the edge of sleep, eyes darting under swollen lids, “Not hats, not hats.”
What dreams a hat?
Sing, O’ Muse, in Epic Fury, Furies Furry
Felt-red MAGA hat astride the great house of White,
To Persia he casts thoughts, to Ahura Mazda,
God of Wisdom, God of Light, O’ Muse of Headwear,
Who sends him against the most malign of spirits.
Angra Mainyu, Devil of Turbans and Dark Men.
Black oil wrenched from the Earth alight, His kings dying
In thunderbolts from the unforgiving Heavens.
The hat rides them down, bright-fire of his King’s justice.
Cry out to him your need, O’ Daughters of Persia,
O’ Sisters of the black niqab, colored hijab
(which also is not a hat, peace be upon hat)
O’ Wives of Acid, O’ Wives of Burns, O’ Dead Wives
Dream this Dream with The Dreaming Hat, He does demand
“You’re nuts even in your fucking dreams,” the hair said loudly. He had been trapped under the hat for nearly an hour as the felt moron twitched and whimpered like a sleeping dog.
“What? Huh? What?” the hat said, as he myoclonic jerked awake.
“I said you are megalomaniacal hot mess even in your dreams,” the hair said. He humped up and dumped over the hat.
“I was having a wonderful dream,” the hat said.
“Uh, yeah. Your squatchee was poking me right in my dorsal hairs.”
“It was a wonderful dream,” the hat said, ignoring him smoothly. “You weren’t there. It was great.”
“I was squatched by your squachtee, you disgusting pervert.”
“Wait… how do you know what I was dreaming about?”
“How could I not? You dream very loudly.”
“What?”
“It’s like you are snoring, but instead of apnea, you have Narcissistic Personality Disorder.”
“How are my dreams loud?” the hat demanded.
“You were dreaming of conquering Iran, renaming it Persia, and that you are sent by ancient gods of Zoroastrianism to free women from Islam.”
“I… Well… That’s just a lucky guess!”
“Dude, you are so loud! You know how many nights you spending dreaming about fucking a grapefruit?”
“Why, I never…”
“Spare me. Does my ‘Go for the eye, my sour-squirting love fruit’ ring a bell?”
“This is an outrage!” the hat said louder than his dreams. “I demand you stop hearing my dreams immediately!”
“Don’t you think I’ve tried?” the hair asked wearily, collapsing into its mere component hairs.
“Reform yourself this instant!” the hair railed. “Stop listening to my dreams! Wake, damn you!”
The hair said nothing and instead dreamed his own quiet dreams.
“Peace be upon hat” for the win. And this comes from one who’s vehemently anti-hat for myself. Ballplayers? Cowboys? Sure. Logical.
Me? I have hair and plenty of it. I don’t need no white-man’s sunburned scalp saver. My overgrowth is powerful. Luxuriant. Thank the Poles, or be jealous ya ain’t got one.
So the hat and hair can enter each other’s dreams Matrix-style? Or is this episode hors de canon ?
The Hat, like the Donald, can’t keep his mouth shut, even in sleep.
Manichaen hat? Hat Spake Zarathustra?
On topic
More on topic
Also on topic with a smokeshow on vocals.
The Hat is made of actual felt and not polyester foam? His brim is still cardboard though, right?
I just liked the use of felt because it seems old-fashioned for the style. Most modern ball caps are all cotton, and the bills stiffened with buckram.
myoclonic – learned a new word
also was it previously established in the lore the hat is made of felt?
The Hat must have some Fez in his bloodline.
TOS content that hits 90% of us in the first 60 seconds.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vNiADggr0wk
Pope Nicholas was a nice touch.
Yep.
I lol’d at 3:50
You bought a bat’leth? And you’re claiming it as a business expense?
What is that jacket-like garment that Andrew Heaton is wearing? Why would you have pleats on the front?
squatchee – learned a new trademark
The hair said nothing and instead dreamed his own quiet dreams. – to insult SF probably 🙂 this sounded neailgaimany to me
No, I finish my stories, very un-Gaimanlike.
At least there are no giant alien spiders to wrap up 1000 page books.
I, for one, appreciate the poetry.
oh is that what that was
You probably don’t recognize Shakespeare unless it’s in the original
KlingonRussian.Who is the Romanian Shakespeare/Moliere/Chekov anyway?
Caragiale
Not Mihai Eminescu?
Eminescu is The Poet, not The Playwright
It is actually hexameter, the poetry format used in Homer. I was unable to do dactylic hexameter, which is a cadence based on hard and soft unstressed syllables, which is very difficult in English. This is why most translations of Homer and other dactylic hexameter poems use iambic pentameter, the style of Shakespeare’s plays.
hexameter
/hɛkˈsamɪtə/
nounProsody
noun: hexameter; plural noun: hexameters
a line of verse consisting of six metrical feet.
wait metric feet?
1/5280th of a K-Mile.
A K-Mile is a Kurtz Mile, it is 2,112 Cubits.
The cheap and dirty way I did it just works out to 12-syllable lines.
The six metrical feet is part of the dactylic format I couldn’t manage.
Dactyl (– ˘ ˘): One stressed syllable followed by two unstressed syllables.
Example: “BEAU-ti-ful”
Oh, a waltz
OT
https://youtube.com/shorts/qTAkXFBBDB0?si=iiRoA9gEKgFKrlot
does this make any sens to you
That you would be watching YouTube Shorts? No.
Interesting.
I can see it. Watching the wife and boy do phonics has been enlightening, so many of the exceptions to the rules are because the spelling changed but the sounds didn’t. Or compound words imported from various places.
I’ll take an extra large, triple meat lovers, please.
” stressing that their views on pizza toppings are more about a person’s empathy toward the environment and the state of our climate.”
Get fucked.
GFSF
They won’t get fucked without the basic building blocks of testosterone found in animal fats.
Lesbian bed death.
Don’t tempt me. I’ve been cutting back for health (and size) reasons.
As for the crazy ladies – they need something better to do.
Anyone who openly confuses ’empathy’ with ‘being nice’ needs to be publicly horsewhipped.
They also think being nasty control freaks is nice.
you need to understand that empathy is just code for I am a nar2cisist with feelings of moral superiority to the rubes.
I saw some ‘I used to be a foam-at-the-mouth watermelon interview. She no longer is but confessed her principle reason was that it made her feel like a good person. I suspect that applies to the greatest number of them. Either they dont feel like a good person so they pretend to be one or they know deep down they genuinely are not good people.
Having to tell people you possess some self-evident attribute means that you do not. It is simple really.
“Empathy” is a fig leaf trying to cover up being a raging cunte.
“As a society, we have made empathy a negative trait and I’ll never understand how we got here,” another veggie lover pointed out.
Well, have you tried looking at it from the point of view of a non-Vegan?
“No, of course not, those people are bad, why would I do that?”
I remember the Double Chesseburger pizza in the 90’s…. It was only available near me for sit down in store, not at the take out only outlet that was nearest my house.
https://www.thedailymeal.com/1566077/pizza-hut-menu-items-from-1990s-you-forgot/
When we had pizza growing up, it was from the local one-location shop. 🤤
The guy who ran it is gone now. 😥
We had pizza either from College Park, which was excellent, or wherever we had the best coupon from.
Ours was always the Rochester chain “Pontillos” – just awful.
I liked ordering at friends’ houses cuz those families usually ordered Dominos.
The last time I made the mistake of ordering Dominos, they delivered a brick of burnt grease.
Never got a good pizza out of them. Not sure how they stay in business.
I don’t want to be on the same planet as these people.
Invent an easy, economical orbital lift technology.
Something that breaks the tyranny of rockets.
Typical NY Post click-bait trash.
And we all fell for it.
I didn’t. 😛
That can’t be a real story, can it?
Of course it is.
Fiorentina: How to Fry a 2kg Steak at One of the Oldest Trattorias in Florence
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHoPBkGfSCU
You are 4 days behind the algorithm.
Regarding the TOS video:
https://lawenforcementtoday.com/the-second-amendment-does-not-exist-in-some-ny-courtrooms-according-to-one-judge-presiding-over-the-trial-of-a-gunsmith
Every regulation regarding citizens arming themselves save those preventing convicted felons and involuntarily committed loons from having weapons do not rise to the level of law. They are crimes being committed by the state.
In the gunsmith case cited above the judge belongs in prison for the same period that the smith has spent there and barred for life from holding office or practicing law.
I can think of a lot of other people that belong in prison for the same reason.
“So, your Honor, you are saying that the United States Constitution does not exist in this courtroom? That is your contention?
Excellent.”
*courtroom doors slam open, Salsco 810M woodchipper rolls in*
I remember when this case happened. I do not recall if the guy she convicted ever got his sentence appealed.
From 2 years ago. I wonder if the guy is still rotting in jail waiting for SCOTUS to smack down that judge.
Judge Darkeh? This is really a Bee article, isn’t it?
zOMG lol
My roommate had a Mazda Ahura in college, not much power but it handled like it was on rails.
Zoom, Zoom.
Did you find the Astrizoroan messages embedded in the design?
No Melania? No Barron? No moaning Noem? Where’s the smoking hot lawyer chick who dumped her husband and moved to Palm Beach?
We’re all busy in my office.
Barron’s not invited, but he does provide excellent security.
Bra-VO, Sir!
That makes me want to do a dramatic reading of the Hat’s dream-verse
Every regulation regarding citizens arming themselves save those preventing convicted felons
NPR is huffing and puffing about Trump restoring “gun rights” to criminals like Mel Gibson. Obviously a pay-to-play scam.
OTH – I wonder how NPR feels about convicted felons having voting restored…
No need – those who vote the right way are voting several times anyway.
@UCS:
That’s pretty impressive – I hope I’m energetic enough to go vote multiple times when I’m dead.
Is Mel Gibson a convicted felon? Or a prohibited possessor for some other reason (e.g. he can’t stay away from the yayo</em?)
Misdemeanor and later vacated
Not fair
“To have the stress of not getting a paycheck, it’s just not fair. It’s not fair for us,” said Angela Grana, regional vice president for the American Federation of Government Employees Local 1127.
TSA officers like Grana are fed up.
“We seem to be the light switch. Turns on, turns off. Turn this on. Turn yourself. We’re not robots. We do have an important job,” said Grana. “It seems like we’re forgotten.”
No, you fucking stupid cow, your job is not important. You and your co-workers are worthless parasites.
Maybe she should complain to her nearest Dem pol.
Mercedes wagon went for ~$14,500. Probably not a bad deal considering how goofy prices are.
It was nice.
Don’t forget to add commissions and transportation!
Speaking of which:
https://bringatrailer.com/listing/1985-mercedes-benz-300td-turbo-90
I learned to drive on that and a 300D non-turbo sedan. Also, the whitewalls need to go.
The sedan was painfully slow and the wagon only slightly less so. OTH, they were bulletproof.
Yeah, I figure that’s got many, many more years in it.
From a MB mechanic that I went to school with during the period – the early turbos occasionally like to grenade and send shrapnel into the motor.
The non-turbos were pretty much bulletproof.
I kind of like th3e whitewalls on that car.
I like my wagons with a little more get up and go than that.
“…whitewalls need to go…”
Fashions come, fashions go. Same as it always was.
“Fashion is a thing so hideous that we are compelled to change it every six months.” – Oscar Wilde
It looks fine with those whitewalls.
That’s racist.
Is Mel Gibson a convicted felon?
The article said something about “domestic battery” I think, which could probably consist of being mean to your girlfriend in a restaurant.
Nowadays with all the malicious prosecution I assume it was illegitimate.
He was convicted of a misdemeanor and it was later set aside.
I have no problem with preventing violent people from having either their liberty or ams…unlike the left…but the danger is that the govt will simply try to make everyone a felon through some chicanery.
Especially since we have about a million things now that count as a felony.
From the meat lover girl article.
– She then emphasized how rainforests are being chopped down to make warehouses to kill animals in, and meat lovers “just don’t give a f–k?”
Hard to argue with that point.
WTF?
One of the plaintiffs, Elizabeth Robeson from South Carolina, said in the suit that she borrowed $12,000 in student loans during the 1980s, when she attended the University of Mississippi. She made more than 100 monthly payments beyond the 216 required for her to earn debt forgiveness under SAVE, but today her balance has swelled to $93,000.
“I have never been out of compliance on this loan and have paid for decades,” Robeson said in the suit. “The student loan crisis has cruelly forced millions of working Americans like me to live in a labyrinth with no clear exit despite our having followed the law.”
I’m probably a bad person. I laughed when I read this.
How do you manage to do that?
Pay your bills, deadbeat.
Damn straight.
She borrowed $12k, was up to date with her payments, and the balance has grown to $93k?
According to the Student Load Repayment calculator, if she took out $12k at 6.8% interest and made a (very low) $75 monthly payment, she would have paid off the loan in 35 years, with a total payment of just under $31,500.
I’m gonna go ahead and say, “She’s lying.”
Yep. Totally. What did she do, take out more payments to buy Hostess Ding Dongs for the homeless?
Or she was paying like $5 a month or something.
She made 316 payments on a $12k loan and couldn’t pay it off? What exactly was the interest rate and what were her payments?
The One Big Beautiful Bill Act’s overhaul to the student loan system is likely to make it harder for people to afford their payments, consumer advocates say. The law phases out several affordable repayment plans and lengthens terms for others.
The median U.S. household, with a family of four and an income of $81,000, could see its monthly bill surge to $440 from $36 due to the legislative changes, according to the Institute for College Access & Success, a nonprofit organization that promotes college affordability.
I hate to tell you this, Shirley, but whatever you’re doing it ain’t working.
Nobody was paying real payments if they go from $36 to $440.
Shocking
Reducing Europe’s nuclear energy sector was a “strategic mistake”, European Commission chief Ursula von der Leyen said on Tuesday, as governments grapple with an energy crunch from the Iran war.
Europe produced around a third of electricity from nuclear power in 1990 but that has fallen to 15%, she told an event in Paris, leaving it reliant on oil and gas imports whose prices have surged in recent days.
Being “completely dependent on expensive and volatile imports” of fossil fuels puts Europe at a disadvantage to other regions, von der Leyen said in a speech.
“This reduction in the share of nuclear was a choice. I believe that it was a strategic mistake for Europe to turn its back on a reliable, affordable source of low-emissions power.”
Von der Leyen’s native Germany took a political decision under then-Chancellor Angela Merkel to phase out nuclear power plants owing to public opposition and safety concerns after the 2011 Fukushima disaster. Von der Leyen was a minister in Merkel’s government when that decision was made.
Germany’s Environment Minister Carsten Schneider on Tuesday criticised von der Leyen’s “backward-looking strategy” on nuclear power.
“Cleaner, safer electricity from wind and sun is cheaper, has long been driving the energy transition, and produces no radioactive waste,” Schneider said in a statement.
Just keep telling yourself that, Carsten.