Saturday Morning Long Whine Links

by | Apr 11, 2026 | Daily Links, Food & Drink, Wine | 125 comments

It’s a minor thing but I need to kvetch. In all of its bureaucratic efficiency, the NY State Liquor Commission, after draining my bank account of some thousands of dollars, has taken over a year to approve our permit to serve wine and beer. Putting aside the indignity of having to get a permission slip from the government to transact straightforward business, they have blown through one time estimate after another. So we keep delaying and rescheduling our grand debut of Champagne brunches, wherein the local old ladies get shitfaced and have to be carried out to their cars. Maybe even a fistfight or two, dentures flying. In any case, we’re still dry and I’m beginning to think that the Empire State is just trying to delay things until after I finally expire of old age. Fuck it, I’m going out for beer and pizza today with the always-engaging Prime.

Speaking of age, birthdays today include a guy nicknamed “Shakey”; a guy who was in the best baseball film of all time; a composer who, every time I hear his music, I think, “Did I like this?”; a woman who spawned vermin; John McAfee’s spirit animal; a woman who managed to get banned from SNL; and a mediocrity best known for getting blown in a major movie.

No-one got blown in Links today, though.

I swear, I thought I left my keys on the coffee table. Now where the fuck are they?

Did you know that there’s no word in German for “Schadenfreude?” Man, it’s hard to get sleazier than Newsom, but in California, it seems to be effortless.

Euros can’t really figure out this federalism thing.

When Florida Men have an election, this is what it looks like.

Good luck trying to enforce this.

“In my country, toilet paper is haram.”

After exposure of massive mistakes in “research,” anyone talking about this shit ought to be given a coloring book and a puppy and sent to their room for a nap.

So you’re saying that people demonstrating narcissism and insanity have a higher suicide rate? Man, science is amazing.

The litigation strategy for “global warming” is definitely not rigged. Definitely.

Ron Carter, 88 years old. Fuck, I’m the Young Guy.

About The Author

Old Man With Candy

Old Man With Candy

Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me. Wait, wrong book, I'll find something else.

125 Comments

  1. Ted S.

    a guy who was in the best baseball film of all time

    Happy birthday Robert Redford!

    • (((Jarflax

      Wonderboy paled beside de Niro’s bat!

  2. DEG

    Bilzerian registered this week to run in the Republican primary against the Jewish far-right firebrand Rep. Randy Fine in Florida’s sixth district.

    Bilzerian is still around?

    Can they both lose?

    • rhywun

      “Mega-influencer” 🙄

      Never heard of him. He sounds like a dick.

      • Threedoor

        I’ll go with the ‘far right’ guy.

        He’ll grow government 10% slower.

      • rhywun

        That guy sounds like a dick too.

    • Chafed

      He’s rebranded himself as Cheif Antisemite. He’s just as dumb as he ever was.

  3. juris imprudent

    Democrats in California needed some way to thin the field of candidates or dammit, two Republicans would be in the run-off.

    • Chafed

      It’s hilarious he was the unions’ choice. They knew what they were endorsing.

  4. (((Jarflax

    Someone should tell the microplastics people about nematodes next. The planet is literally crawling with them!

    • Threedoor

      I care not over the hype of micro plastics.

      Do I want my kids wearing plastic clothing with BPA and other similar compounds?

      No.

  5. Ted S.

    Euros can’t really figure out this federalism thing.

    Unfortunately we’ve got an establishment who think the election can only be free and fair if Orban loses, and a woke right who think that because Orban opposes said establishment he can do no wrong and that if he doesn’t win the election, it’s because the election wasn’t free and fair.

    • juris imprudent

      Free doesn’t matter as much as fair, and it ain’t fair when we lose! /fucking morons everywhere

    • (((Jarflax

      Europe is ruled by people who hated aristocracy only because they were not the aristocrats, so they created a system where they could be.

      • Threedoor

        It’s want to be socialist dictators all the way down.

    • rhywun

      He’s either the last great hope of Europe or a totalitarian dictator depending on what day it is – I’ve seen both opinions in the same outlet.

  6. juris imprudent

    So you’re saying that people demonstrating narcissism and insanity have a higher suicide rate?

    Canada has a cure for that.

  7. Not Adahn

    Question for OMWC: are you required to eat rice within 18 minutes during Passover?

    • Old Man With Candy

      Depends on whether you’re Ashkenazi or Sephardic.

      • Ted S.

        What if you’re Mizrahi?

  8. Tres Cool

    whaddup doh’

    L’chaim!

    /Bucc-ees attempt 1 unsuccessful. For some reason they don’t sell bulk brisket before 10:30

    • Pope Jimbo

      Mrs. Holiness and I have sworn off Buccees.

      We’ve tried multiple times on various road trips to understand the fanaticism for the place. I just don’t get it. It seems like a junior Wall Drug that franchised itself. They don’t even have clever road signs.

  9. Not Adahn

    Where is this study giving out free puppies?

  10. Grumbletarian

    Today Mayor Zohran Kwame Mamdani and New York City Department of Consumer and Worker Protection (DCWP) Commissioner Samuel A.A. Levine announced a proposed rule to dramatically strengthen New Yorkers’ “Click to Cancel” consumer rights, cracking down on subscription traps and ensuring consumers can easily cancel automatic renewals and continuous service offers.

    Okay. Can I apply this to the social contract I never signed to begin with?

    • (((Jarflax

      No, that’s different you bigot! Taxes and regulations are just the price you pay to live in a wonderfully diverse environment where you can experience the cultural enrichment of random stabbings, people being set on fire on trains, and gang raped little girls.

      • Grumbletarian

        But the features of a civilized society have changed and the price to subscribe keeps going up.

      • Threedoor

        Cool your jets boy!

    • rhywun

      Some idiot he hired saw one of those stupid fucking “Rocket Money” commercials and a lightbulb went off over xer head.

  11. Drake

    Trump endorsed Lindsey Graham a few weeks ago. We had two very good candidates running against him in the primary. I was just going to vote for whoever was higher in the polls to beat Graham.
    The good news is that Paul Dans just withdrew from the race and endorsed Mark Lynch. Hopefully Graham is gone in June.
    https://x.com/VishBurra/status/2042723982365901116

    • juris imprudent

      Just like most other politicians, I don’t get how people keep voting for that asshole.

    • DEG

      I know a guy who thinks Trump’s endorsements are calculated to tank people. So Trump really wants Graham to lose and Massie to win.

      It’s a new take on “Trust The Plan”.

      • Grumbletarian

        That would suggest that Trump knows he’s unpopular, which I find hard to believe.

    • Drake

      Lynch is being attacked for saying nice things in the past about Massie. I was already voting for him, you don’t have to keep convincing me.

    • Threedoor

      We have our own here. Mike Simpson, illegal alien enjoyer, dam breaching enthusiast.

      He’ll die in office because he tithes to the temple.

  12. juris imprudent

    Five years later, the woman was no longer working for the congressman when she attended an April 2024 charity gala honoring Swalwell. She said she went for drinks with Swalwell afterward and became so inebriated that she only remembers snippets of the night, though she says she does recall pushing him away and telling him, “No.”

    So this is old news, and of dubious credibility – even for a lowlife like Swalwell.

    • R C Dean

      This reads to me like she regretted getting drunk and blowing him, not that he raped her.

      Plus , do women who have been raped by their boss really just show up for work the next day, and hang around until he rapes them again?

      • Tres Cool

        Women complain that men fall asleep right after sex.

        So why is it so difficult to catch a rapist ?

        (Jimmy Carr joke)

      • Threedoor

        Believe women!
        Even when they change their story.

    • PutridMeat

      old news

      I suppose, but a lot less so than “he assaulted me 30 years ago!” Two years is still too long, but doesn’t feel *too* out of line, just a little out of line.

      dubious credibility

      I’m not sure about dubious credibility. I can very easily believe that she got drunk (and he probably did too) and got all frisky. Maybe even had doubts in the middle. Or it might not have happened at all. But I tend to fall on the side of “people doing stupid things when they’re drunk and then regretting it later” is not sexual assault – you don’t get a ‘get out of slut-jail free card’ with a combined ‘put some other slut in jail for free card’ just because you’re a drunk moron with poor impulse control.

      Even low-life pieces of shit like Swalwell deserve to not be railroaded for behavior on a two-way street of poor impulse control behavior, especially in a he-said/she-said situation. Throw the book at him for consorting with spies of a foreign adversary and being a general scum-fuck of a politician, but he deserves the same consideration around this stupid #metoo crap as anyone else.

      However, it does take some discipline to hide my glee at these people being hoisted on their own petard, thinking their own schemes and vile manipulation for political and social gain would never be turned against them.

      • Tres Cool

        …even the worst sorts of people deserve a fair trial

      • Pope Jimbo

        PM:

        I agree with you on the idea that regrets of drunken sex does not automatically equal rape.

        What makes me shake my head is that it is this that is going to sink Swalwell. Not the fact that he doesn’t really live in Cali or that he slept with a ChiCom spy.

      • Raven Nation

        Your Holiness: I make the completely unfounded assumption that this is about factional fighting among CA Dems.

      • Chafed

        Watching Swalwell get judged on the same standard he urged for Kavanaugh is wonderful. There’s even a German word for it.

      • Drake

        Because I don’t own an oil company, but I do own cars?

      • Threedoor

        Why do you hate my oil stocks?

      • Ted S.

        I didn’t know you had seed oil stocks.

    • Grumbletarian

      You can’t spell triumph without trump.

    • Drake

      Uh… Did we win a war recently? Cool if we did.

    • Chafed

      She sounds mentally healthy.

    • Chafed

      I accept the consequences.

  13. Evan from Evansville

    Today’s my first shift inside Meijer instead of the gas station, 10-6. I’m guessing most of today is either computer ‘learing’ or shadowing, but who knows. Today and hopefully a few days next week to complete training before my contract starts, when I’ll either work every Sat or, less likely, every other Sat while I finish that remote gig.

    I’m guessing I still have a 30min lunch, which I am now officially against. Give me an hour, adds enough non-scarfing down time to chill and have a smoke.

    Should be an interesting day. I assume the Talent roaming the aisles is either equal to, or greater than, that in the Noblesville Wally World.
    We shall see. Onward, chaps ‘n chappettes.

    • The Last American Hero

      Just a reminder that “shadowing” doesn’t mean lurking around the aisles or crawling up on pallets of merchandise like some kind of stockboy ninja.

      • R.J.

        Dang. I was hoping it was.

      • Tres Cool

        It doesn’t ?
        Where’s the fun in that?

    • Threedoor

      Who knows?

      The Shadow knows.

    • Tres Cool

      Look like aftermarket.

      • slumbrew

        Aftermarket, but good work, methinks

      • Tres Cool

        “If I can put my mouth on them, they’re real enough.”

    • Chipping Pioneer

      She cheats just like her husband.

      • kinnath

        well, that link fails.

      • R.J.

        I remember.

      • Common Tater

        Most of the boomers who read Powerline?

      • Threedoor

        I had some college profs that thought they were beatnicks.

        Also dated a gal that smoked clove cigarettes. Does that count?

      • dbleagle

        The Dark Side one got a solid chuckle from me.

      • Ted S.

        Maybe they pummeled Pissedoff Nick.

        Did the girl smell of patchouli?

  14. The Late P Brooks

    We cannot abide the faintest whiff of scandal

    “We commend the courageous women for sharing their experiences,” they continued. “In this and all circumstances, we must ensure that those who come forward with allegations of sexual assault are heard and respected. All perpetrators of sexual assault and harassment must be held accountable.”

    Speaker Emerita Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) called for “full transparency and accountability” through an investigation into these accusations in a statement shared by her communications director on X.

    “The young woman who has made serious allegations against Congressman Swalwell must be respected and heard,” Pelosi said in the statement.

    “This extremely sensitive matter must be appropriately investigated with full transparency and accountability,” she continued. “As I discussed with Congressman Swalwell, it is clear that this is best done outside of a gubernatorial campaign.”

    They only want what’s best for the people of California.

  15. UnCivilServant

    Morning, Glibs.

    So, I showed up to a largely cash event with onlt $142 on my person, and have $26 left. I have some knives, some cheese-stuffed pepperoni, and an idea of what’s on offer in the 4473 family.

    Other than cash-only signs on so many booths, I really disliked the crowds. Even on my way out having perused every table, the line for entry would have been around the block had it been allowed to turn, instead, it just stretched on and on into the windy morning.

    I’m not sure I’m going back tomorrow.

    I got really lucky and was able to check into my hotel room super early, so I’m at least spending the night. (the refund window passed, so might as well use the room). All the places I’d be nostalgic for are probably closed. So not sure what I’m going to do in town.

    • Tres Cool

      If your wanderings take you WSW to Auburn, I can recommend Prison City Brewing’s burger. Jesus H. Koresh is it good.
      Any time we get that project on the schedule, I put myself on it not because I care about the testing, or the environment….I just want an excuse to get that burger.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    <em.Schiff, who was a key supporter of Swalwell’s campaign, said he was “deeply distressed” by the allegations.

    “This woman was brave to come forward, and we should take her story seriously,” the senator wrote on X. “I am withdrawing my endorsement immediately, and believe that he should withdraw from the race.”

    All this story needs is a Luger with a single round in it, placed on Sawalwell’s desk so he can do the Honorable Thing.

    • (((Jarflax

      I’ll pay for a second round if Schiff wants to join the fun.

  17. Pope Jimbo

    The stadium tax for the Twins is going to expire soon. I was just arguing with one of the Altar Boys that it would never go away. They are already using it to fund youth sports and extended library hours. The kid was sure it would go away.

    I guess I get the satisfaction of saying “I told you so” now even as I get soaked even worse than before.

    House File 4841, was introduced Thursday during a House tax committee hearing by chief author Rep. Esther Agbaje, DFL-Minneapolis and co-author Rep. Danny Nadeau, R-Rogers. The proposal is a first draft and would repurpose the county’s 0.15% sales tax used to pay off bonds for the Minnesota Twins stadium into a 1% tax that would generate roughly $337 million, Agbaje said at the hearing.
     
    Of the projected revenue the repurposed tax would be able to raise annually, $7 million would go to the Twins ballpark, up to $24 million would be used for extra financial support for North Memorial, another Level 1 trauma center in the metro area, and the remainder would assist HCMC [Hennepin County Medical Center].

    Wonder why the HCMC operation costs keep going up and up? Couldn’t be because illegal aliens keep showing up for their free care could it?

    • Pope Jimbo

      It doesn’t make me feel better knowing that this tax was implemented using all sorts of shenanigans.

      There was a law on the books that said any public financing of a stadium had to pass a referendum, but the pols somehow finessed that requirement. So us plebes never got our chance to vote on it.

    • UnCivilServant

      How about a tax on NGOs, on Illegal Aliens, and on services rendered to illegal aliens. You charge everyone the last one but citizens can get a refund when they vote the right way.

      • Pope Jimbo

        You mean like the Lutheran Brotherhood? They’ve been bringing over refugees for a long time.

        Maybe make them on the hook financially for their refugees for ten years instead of 90 days?

        Today, one important way in which various religious organizations help those in need is through helping to settle refugees in Minnesota. Luther Social Services of Minnesota is one of several organizations that helps to resettle refugees in the state and make their transition go smoothly. LSS helps with refugees’ casework in the first 90 days of their arrival in the United States, as well as helping refugees find affordable housing, enroll students in school, apply for benefits, and begin English classes so they can begin work. It is crucial for refugees to find work as soon as possible because they arrive in the United States in debt, needing to pay back their travel fare. Refugees receive $1,200 upon arrival, while LSS gets paid $900 per arrival.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Of course, the jackpine savages need a bit more education before they can truly understand the power of diversity and our new vibrant neighbors.

        In 2015, a number of Lutheran pastors in Minnesota came together to discuss the increasing tensions that could not be ignored. LSS was getting increasing pushback that was making it difficult for its service providers to do their normal work. Churches were receiving letters in their collection plates saying things like, “How could you possibly be supporting LSS? You know they make so much money off the work they do resettling refugees.” The pastors discussed the need for greater education about refugees and immigration in Minnesota.

      • UnCivilServant

        Why should we be taking in any refugees?

      • Tres Cool

        I’m no expert on social services, but Id wager it likely takes 90 days max for a newcomer to get on the dole for Section 8, SNAP, TANF, etc.
        LSS is playing the numbers.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    Gilded parasites

    In California, roughly 200 billionaires collectively hold about $2 trillion in wealth. Much of that fortune goes virtually untouched by income taxes. Why? Because it isn’t treated as “income” at all.

    Instead, it sits in stocks, assets and other investments, growing year after year, often tax-free. Billionaires can borrow against that wealth, live lavishly off loans, and avoid selling assets that would trigger taxes. Thanks to longstanding federal and state loopholes, this system allows extraordinary fortunes to expand while contributing comparatively little back into the public systems that make that wealth possible.

    ——-

    That’s what makes the idea of a one-time billionaire tax in response to a needless one-time emergency so straightforward and fair.

    At its core, the proposal simply recognizes that wealth, not just income, reflects real economic power. Now, a state facing real challenges — from hospital closures to over-crowded emergency rooms to rising costs of care — is asking those who have benefited the most to contribute a small share.

    It’s naught but a pittance, really. We certainly won’t be back for more. Honest, just this once.

    • Ted S.

      Greedy little shits who argue using the state to effect their greed makes it virtuous.

      • Chafed

        Exactly this.

    • Pope Jimbo

      So if this one time tax passes, how exactly will it be implemented.

      If a billionaire has most of his wealth tied up in stock and he now has to sell a shit ton of it off to pay his 5% tax, when exactly is that tax bill calculated?

      For example, let’s say that Scrooge, the CEO of GameStop, is worth a $1B. Then this law passes and he has to come up with $50M to pay off his tax bill. But all his money is in GameStop stock. So he has to sell a shitload of his stock off. Won’t saavy investors realize that and short the stock?

      As the stock price tumbles, does Scrooge get to argue that he is no longer a billionaire and not subject to the tax? Or at least get a smaller tax bill?

      • Threedoor

        No. He’ll get to pay the capital gains tax on that stock as well.

      • Common Tater

        He also has to pay capital gains tax.

    • Threedoor

      College professor.
      Because of course he’s never produced a thing in his life.

  19. Pope Jimbo

    It is nice to see the Minneapolis City Council walking the walk on diversity. Spreading the grift around. Somalis shouldn’t be the only ones to be allowed to steal from the city.

    Latino-led nonprofit CLUES is ready to be part of the solution to post-Metro Surge housing crisis

    Heaven forbid that the housing crisis be solved by helping needy people regardless of their skin color! Or worse, requiring them to be a citizen.

    Letran-Garcia estimated that the $300,000 they’ll soon have access to will help between 85 and 100 families. Once they determine a family qualifies, a check should be in their landlord’s hand in less than a week. CLUES expects to exhaust the funding in 2-3 months.

  20. Ted S.

    So I went for a quick jaunt up Overlook Mountain this morning.

    It was spitting snowflakes at 3100 feet.

    • Threedoor

      It’s supposed to snow here Thursday.

      2477’ at the front porch.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Tax time is supposed to be about shared responsibility. It’s a moment when we collectively invest in the roads we drive on, the schools that educate our kids, and the hospitals and health care systems we rely on in emergencies. But that system only works if everyone participates. And right now, it’s clear that billionaires aren’t.

    Goddam billionaires, free riding around on the backs of working Californians. They’re moochers, bleeding the place dry.

    • Threedoor

      Fools don’t know how roads and schools are paid for.

    • dbleagle

      Looking at Cali’s school system and piss poor roads my conclusion is that Californians are piss poor investors and should have the source of their funds removed.

      • Threedoor

        All that fuel tax is diverted to parks, bike paths, ‘art,’ light rail, busses, roundabouts, road diets and other ‘traffic calming’ devices.

        It’s not for the roads comrade, it’s to discourage people from driving.

        Just like cigarette taxes.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Sorry, but if you left your sister in a trash filled alley you don’t get to pretend you are devastated by her loss and need millions of dollars from the tax payers.

      Same as St. Floyd. If you kick your shithead relative out of the family and he ends up in a city thousands of miles away where he gets killed, you can’t pretend that you loved him soooo much.

      • Threedoor

        And it’s because of that logic that you’ll never be a judge!

    • Threedoor

      Either way they did their job and cleaned the alley.

  22. The Late P Brooks

    Today, one important way in which various religious organizations help those in need is through helping to settle refugees in Minnesota. Luther Social Services of Minnesota is one of several organizations that helps to resettle refugees in the state and make their transition go smoothly.

    Why don’t the Lutherans go to Somalia and provide help where it’s truly needed?

  23. Threedoor

    OMWC, what the heck is up with the beer bar lisence?

    It it common for them to take that long? Are they docking with you over politics or is there someone on the board who has buddies that live in the area that sell booze too?

  24. dbleagle

    Question for the group. “The Man in the High Castle” is on Netflix. Is it worth the time investment to watch? (It is not a Netflix “original” so the man is presumably not a black, trans with blue hair.)

    • Threedoor

      It’s entertaining overall but goes sideways and the ending was too United Colors of Benetton for me.

      My favorite character is the Japanese Trade Minister. His story arc is the best part of the show. Writen and acted well. I kept watching it because of this character. Once his arc is over, meh.
      Lots of contrived drama with a couple other characters that I didn’t care for and felt pushed into the story where they didn’t belong.

      Read the book. It’s good.

      • dbleagle

        I read the book, that is why I asked the question.

        Mahalo for your inputs 3D and TLPB. It’s going to rain all weekend here so I shall check it out.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    Question for the group. “The Man in the High Castle” is on Netflix. Is it worth the time investment to watch? (It is not a Netflix “original” so the man is presumably not a black, trans with blue hair.)

    Amazon made it, before the current crop of imbeciles took over. It wasn’t bad, in my opinion.

    • Threedoor

      Most of the Amazon stuff has been decent.

      What did you not like TLPB?

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