IFLA: The “Angelic” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of May 31

by | May 31, 2026 | IFLA | 19 comments

The 1980’s were a good decade for songs with “Angel” prominently in the title. However lets be honest: This is really a 1970’s song.

Another week of mostly nothing, but an entertainingly complicated little bit of good stuff happening for all to enjoy. Tuesday through Friday you’ve got Mercury, Venus, the Sun and the Moon coming into and out of alignment with each other in five different combinations. Yes, Mercury and the Moon can be notoriously troublesome, but because of the overwhelmingly positive effects of the Sun and Venus means this is going to be a lucky or happy time with emphasis on home life and relationships. There are some specific indicators on each day, but they are a bit too specific, unless you’re considering setting up your mistress in an apartment or equivalent (in which case, do it!) More generally, this is a fantastic time to be a Gemini or a Rak — with the former being more basic straight up “good luck,” and the latter being more “things going really well lifewise” until Thursday when some of that raw luck shifts over from Gemini and you crustacean types will just have everything going for you.

Did you know you can’t copyright song titles? This becomes relevant later.

Gemini: 6 of Coins – People wanting your resources. Not the government, they’d just take it, but people actually asking for your money. Does not exclude scammers.

Cancer: The Moon reversed – No bad per se, but sub-optimal particularly in novel ways. Like, you order at restaurant , they bring out the wrong food, but you actually like it better than your original order. But they charge you for the original which was a bit more expensive than what you actually ate.

Leo: Whatever the most notable event of this week is, it involves an underling or service provider.

Virgo: The Devil reversed – Not as bad as drawing the Devil upright, but still pretty bad. Often means catching the secondary effects from something bad happening to someone else.

Libra: King of Coins reversed – Problems caused by a rich asshole. For those of you who are rich assholes, this in particular refers to a third party.

Scorpio: 3 of Wands – Chilling, observing the good stuff you’ve accomplished.

Sagittarius: 2 of Wands – So for those of you with a R-W deck or an internet connection, take a look at this card and Scorpio’s. They’re pretty much the same thing: Some rich dude staring while holding on to a staff. The interpretive difference is in how they are looking. For the 3, the guy is looking out over the harbor, and all the wands are secured in the ground (also he’s holding on with his right hand which is armored) For the 2, the rich dude is unarmored, he’s staring at a globe and he is holding a wand in place with his left hand (the other wand is literally bolted in place to make the contrast clearer.) We are intended to regard this man as unsatisfied, with work unfinished or bored with his own accomplishments.

Capricorn: 7 of Wands – a lot of bad things are directed at you, but you’ve got some significant advantages in dealing with them.

Aquarius: [Editor’s Note: No card draw provided for this, you figure it out.] You’re no alone, but nobody else is coming to help you.

Pisces: The Tower reversed – KaPOW! BOOM! AIEEEE! *dies in agony*

Aries: The Hanged Man – Supposedly this is Odin on the tree, only shaved and wearing tights. So all of that though with less respect from others.

Taurus: The Wheel of Fortune Reversed – Winning a lottery drawing for ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife. If this was OMWC’s sign, he’d come into possession of a Jamon Iberico.

About The Author

Not Adahn

Not Adahn

Despite all my rage, I am still just an impeccably dressed rat.

19 Comments

  1. Ted S.

    The 1980’s were a good decade for songs with “Angel” prominently in the title. However lets be honest: This is really a 1970’s song.

    Merrilee Rush, of course, would say it’s a 60’s song.

  2. Mojeaux

    That may be a 70s pop song, but it’s a very 80s country song.

    Also, I’m sitting in a parking lot blasting Loverboy from a CD.

    I’m switching back to physical media because Greatest Hits albums exist and now they’re cheaper than buying a couple-three songs from one artist.

    • Threedoor

      Are you going into overdrive?

  3. Gender Traitor

    What’s a Rak? I gather it refers to the sign of Cancer, but how do you get “Rak” out of that? 😕

      • Gender Traitor

        Thanks. That’s suitably obscure.

      • Shpip

        “Rak” is the Slavic root word for crayfish and crab

        Can confirm. The first time I ever saw the photo of Lobster Girl on TOS, my initial thought was “Nice rak!”

      • creech

        Well, Shpip, at my age, my reaction was “Yum. I think I’ll get a lobster roll for dinner.” (Just kidding. I’m not that old yet.)

      • Raven Nation

        @ creech: phrasing?

      • Fourscore

        I’m too old to play football too but I still watch it

  4. J. Frank Parnell

    Scorpio: 3 of Wands – Chilling, observing the good stuff you’ve accomplished.

    Shit, I’d better get to work accomplishing some good stuff.

  5. DEG

    Whatever the most notable event of this week is, it involves an underling or service provider.

    Unclear is this is sufficiently shitty or not.

  6. Sean

    “ Cancer: The Moon reversed – No bad per se, but sub-optimal particularly in novel ways. Like, you order at restaurant , they bring out the wrong food, but you actually like it better than your original order. But they charge you for the original which was a bit more expensive than what you actually ate.”

    I….uh….

    Hrm.

    I got nuthin.

    Darn you stars!

    • juris imprudent

      Stars a little crossed? I went out to grab dinner last night – first place had closed early; second place was out of the first three things I wanted. Went home and had a sandwich.

  7. SarumanTheWoefullyIgnorant

    “Leo: Whatever the most notable event of this week is, it involves an underling or service provider.”

    Well last week we had to have a tree guy come and cut some trees that had thwarted our most recent oil delivery (the truck trying to avoid their branches slid off the driveway and had to be winched back onto the driveway by a tow truck).

    Perhaps I’m showing my age but I prefer the Merilee Rush version to the Juice Newton.

  8. Evan from Evansville

    Taurus: The Wheel of Fortune Reversed”

    Ooh! At the Indy Indians and Minor League Cubs game w 5yo and Dad.

    Matthew Boyd is making a rehab start! Good to see him nearing return!

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