”So how are we doing today.” I asked.
STEVE SMITH was shouting on camera, pointing at it directly. Still shouting.
”STEVE, I think you might be on mute.” I said.
”STEVE, you need to take yourself off mute, we can’t hear you.” Sugarfree agreed. STEVE SMITH was on mute.
STEVE SMITH looked at the camera confused. Shouted something at us again, and grabbed the camera. The feed was replaced with the Zoom no camera detected screen.
“So what do we do now?” I asked.
“I don’t know, STEVE SMITH NEVER MISS PODCAST. BY NEVER MISS…” Sugarfree began.
The camera suddenly turned back on. It was focused just above the nape of STEVE’S neck. STEVE SMITH was still shouting silently.
”Can you hear us STEVE.” Sugarfree asked.
STEVE began throwing balled fists at what I assumed was the table the camera was on. Shouting angrily before grabbing the camera again. Both Sugarfree and I winced as STEVE SMITH’S feed began displaying snow.
“Oh dear.” Sugarfree said. “That’s never happened before.
“What’s happening?” Swiss interjected. “I asked for 2000 hrs Eastern so I wouldn’t have to be on at night. I’m busy at night for the next couple months.” Swiss went on.
“STEVE is having technical difficulties.” I said. “Wait something is happening.
A notification asking me to accept a dial in appeared from a number I didn’t recognize. 706-294-3860. Who do we know in Georgia? I accepted it.
”WELCOME TO FOREST LAWYER PODCAST. THIS STEVE SMITH COMING AT YOU VIA DIAL UP, WIFI HOTSPOT.”
”You got it figured out STEVE?” Swiss asked.
”HIKER LEAVE HOTSPOT. NO PASSWORD, RAPE HIKER, USE HOTSPOT. CHEESE MAN, WHAT TODAY SPONSOR?”
Swiss turned on his camera revealing he was located on a boat in a warm part of the world. He had shaven most of his beard since the last time we were on for a podcast, but kept the mustache. He was wearing a well worn baseball cap with the Swiss corps logo, flat black aviator sunglasses, and a red Hawaiian shirt. He appeared to have deliberately missed the top three buttons on his shirt.
”Today’s sponsor is StarLink. Sure, taking money from Musk takes you off the guest list in many places. But when the King of Jordan offers 2.5 million quid for any commandeered Iranian vessel off Kharg Island you don’t really have too many other options to stay connected.”
”Quid? What are you, British now?” I asked.
Swiss flipped his sunglasses up, revealing the narrowed gaze. He pulled an AK-12 into the camera’s view and set the butt of the rifle on his knee.
”Today I’m Moldovan, or at least that’s how my vessel is flagged.”
“Aren’t they land locked?” Sugarfree asked.
“Only StarLink provides high speed, low latency internet signal all over the world. If you have line of sight to a satellite, you have line of sight to your harem of Instagram whores, nearly anywhere on Earth.”
”TODAYS SPONSOR SUCKS.”
”How so?” Swiss asked.
STEVE SMITH held up the ripped up StarLink antenna to the view of his camera phone.
”Oh.” We all said in unison.
“CHEESE MAN. WHY HUMANS HATE THE ODYSSEY?”
“I don’t think its so much everyone hates The Odyssey. Its a stunning, timeless example of the hero’s journey. The trouble is everyone hates the casting. Seriously, Christopher Nolan had to have better options for Odysseus than Matt Damon?”
“mAtT D@mOn.” I said in my best Team America impression.
”Exactly. They couldn’t get someone a little more, I dunno, Greek for the role? That’s what everyone is complaining about. Hell it doesn’t even have to be a Greek guy, it can just be Mediterranean. Who’s that one Italian guy?”
“Joe Pesci.” Sugarfree said.
“Yes! Joe Pesci! Have him play Odysseus!”
”STEVE SMITH NOT THINK HUMANS MAD AT MATT DAMON.”
”Yeah, isn’t the problem Ellen Pai—excuse me Elliot Paige playing Achilles…arguably history’s best archetype of the perfect warrior?” I asked.
”Achilles is not the perfect warrior. I am the perfect warrior.” Swiss replied. He shifted his weight a bit revealing he was also wearing silkies with that Hawaiian shirt.
”BROWN MAN. CHINA DIPLOMATS DELIBERATELY MISSPELL CUBAN STATE MAN NAME. ALLOW CUBAN STATE MAN ENTRY INTO CHINA”
I am not familiar with this story at all. What is this about?
”Chinese Communists expelled Marco Rubio previously for saying something that insulted them, but they changed his name so he could enter as part of the state dept envoy earlier this week visiting China with Trump.” Sugarfree explained.
”Why did you give Swiss the fun question? I don’t even know how to respond to that.” I drank a swig of my non-alcoholic beer, as this was recorded on a Wednesday. Its…okay. Better than I expected but I wasn’t expecting much. RationAle Japanese Style Dry: 2.0/5
”GIVE SOUND BYTE BROWN MAN”
”Okay, what did they call him, Malco Lubio?” I asked.
”Actually, yes, Chinese officials and state media have begun using a different Chinese character to represent the “Lu” in Rubio’s surname.” Sugarfree explained.
”SUGAR MAN, LA MAYOR RACE LOOK FUNNY. FUNNY MAN FROM TV RUN FOR MAYOR. WHATS FUNNY MAN PROBLEM?”
”I never thought Spencer Pratt was funny. I thought he was everything wrong with American culture with the degradation of the arts turning simple TV programming into lowest common denominator. Lets look at it empirically: Spencer Pratt grows up on reality TV. He doesn’t know how anything works outside reality TV. He gets thrown into the real world, marries some weird local girl with huge, fake tits. She gives him drugs. He takes the drugs. He makes weird speeches. People like his speeches. Local girl with huge, fake tits claps and cheers when people follow him in his crusade against the political elite keeping everyone from achieving self-fulfillment. He becomes one with the nature in his new world, the real world in which you and I live. In short, Spencer Pratt is Paul Atreides.”
”Judas Priest.” I couldn’t believe I was hearing this. “He’s right, and you gave Sugarfree a fun question too.”
Swiss wasn’t looking directly at the camera but turned, then smirked and returned to whatever he was actually focused on.
”I just hope someone taught him how to knife fight.” Sugarfree said.
“To bypass the entry ban, Chinese officials reportedly used an alternate Mandarin transliteration for Rubio’s surname; diplomats told Agence France-Presse this linguistic switch allowed Beijing to technically sidestep sanctions attached to the older spelling.”
That makes no sense.
Buttle, Tuttle.
Nice call back to Lord Haw Haw in the links. Well done.
It’s his donkey face.
An impressive bit of face-saving.
If it makes sense to Chairman Mao… er Xi, then it makes sense to everyone in China.
https://www.dailymail.com/tvshowbiz/article-15822353/heidi-montag-montecito-spencer-pratt.html
It’s harder to keep fake tits warm because science.
No internal blood flow
Well Santa Barbara IS chilly this time of year.
There’s nothing wrong with public thermometers.
It looks like the left one has three nipples.
Or they are pierced.
Go on…
I feel assaulted. Wronged. Hurt.
The beginning of this to the first break is what you all experience on zoom when I enter the chat.
I know how you feel.
NA beer sometimes surprise me. Both Heineken NA and Deschutes NA are better than the regular version.
Granted the bar for both is set pretty low.
You’ve been taking Not Adahn’s beer?
When you were passing through and we met at GT’s, she provided me a NA beer (I had to work that night) that was quite tasty. Can’t remember what it was tho.
I do not recall what it was either.
I never turn down free beer, even from Not Adhan,
I’m pretty sure it was one of BrewDog’s, possibly this coffee stout that I no longer see on their website.
It’s a madhouse.
marries some weird local girl with huge, fake tits.
Just say no to fake tits.
I drank a swig of my non-alcoholic beer, as this was recorded on a Wednesday. Its…okay. Better than I expected but I wasn’t expecting much.
Non-alcoholic. I thought I knew you.
Yeah. I feel betrayed.
I saw a true horror on the shelves today when I was at the grocery store. A non-alcoholic Chelada. Just water down your clamato juice or V8 FFS.
Barf
Its just a attempted weight cut. I’ll be back to high functioning alcoholism soon enough.
You have restored my faith.
Mother’s Day for us is tomorrow, apparently, and we’re doing our yearly international cook-up. Mom suggested borscht to me, so I suppose that’s on my docket for today. Will be easier to do it now than tomorrow, and it’ll free up Sunday a bit more.
I’ve never made it. It looks quite simple, though I most likely am skipping the homemade beef stock. Well. I’ll see what bone-in stuff Kroger has when I pop in. (“pop” is now to be capitalized, according to AutoC. hrm.) She insists on sour cream, and I, on dill.
This morning’s track meet being cancelled on the drive over to it was rather bullshit. I’d rather have slept. *frump*
Interesting news out of Munchkin, which I may save for later. Curious curious, is she. *struggling to discern best path forward, face appropriately scrunched*
Today, in headline innuendo
Trump Bought Boeing Stock, Then Announced New Order for 200 Planes
——-
According to an OGE Form 278-T financial statement, Trump made 3,642 stock trades during the first quarter. That alone would make many day traders dizzy. More revealing, though, was the size of those transactions.
One of those $1 million-to-$5 million purchases was Boeing stock. Another was GE Aerospace (NYSE:GE), which is notable because GE supplies engines for Boeing aircraft.
That connection matters more now because Trump announced during his China trip that Beijing would purchase 200 Boeing planes, with the possibility of expanding the agreement to as many as 750 aircraft over time. It marks the first major sale to China in nearly a decade.
Rev up the impeachment mob.
The funny part, to me, is Trump must believe China will keep it’s promise to buy the planes.
Trump personally, or the “blind” trust holding his assets?
Exactly.
If only the same could be said about Pelosi…
I just assume they are the same thing.
STEVE SMITH SPONSOR HOOMUN SHOW, BY SPONSOR MEAN…
TwiX permanently suspended my account over a year ago now.
For no reason given.
It was then that I had confirmation that the same limp wristed scolds were in charge as old Twitter.
His voice doesn’t sound too scary but we all know what he is capable of.
Hungarian refrigerator advertisements
1969
https://x.com/vintagestuff4/status/2055453849289150831
Was that entire country’s housing stock nothing but college dorm rooms? Never mind answering since Hungarians would revolt for something as nice a standard 1960s US male dorm room.
Ha! I was going to say I think I had the one on the right in my 1985 dorm room.
I’d rather have had the one on the left.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2umgDs2q9xg&ra=m
Wow. I didn’t know that cover existed. That was absolutely the right band to do it.
Monster Magnet is the greatest cover band ever.
Venus in Furs, 2000
light Years From Home, Three Kingfishers…
Medical necessity
Kobach, like other opponents of gender-affirming care for minors, portrayed it as “experimental” and harmful, but Folsom disagreed.
His order said the teenagers who sued, identified as Lily Loe and Ryan Roe, had to go to Minnesota and Colorado for treatment, both costing them more for out-of-state care and causing anxiety.
“It is harmful to withhold medical treatment or withdraw medical treatment in progress that is safe, effective and medically indicated,” Folsom wrote.
No different than treating an ingrown toenail.
This indicates to me that Folsom’s needs a safe, effective, and medically necessary retroactive abortion.
An entire sentence where every word is false. That is quite an achievement, Dr. Judge.
I suppose it will be a different judge 10 years from now when xe and xe realize xeir heads had been filled with dangerous bullshit all xeir lives and sue those states for gross medical malpractice.
Or at the foot is the judges bed in the middle of the night.
@NotAdahn re the fencing, thank you. I appreciate it. It’s one of things that when you don’t know what you’re talking about but can’t get the finer details from a google search, or even if you don’t know what you don’t know, you use as few words as possible to get the point across. As for “just,” that was pure ignorance on my part.
The MAGA war on fairness
Florida Attorney General James Uthmeier has advanced his threats to take enforcement action against the NFL over its Rooney Rule, issuing the league an investigative subpoena on Wednesday.
That makes professional football just the latest target of MAGA backlash to diversity, equity and inclusion efforts.
——-
While its effectiveness has been panned by many, including coaches, former coaches, the NFL Players Association and football fans, the rule remains in force today. In its current form, it requires NFL teams to interview at least two people of color or women for top jobs including head coach and general manager, and at least one person of color or a woman for quarterback coach and other senior roles.
In March, Uthmeier called on the NFL to suspend the rule altogether.
“Florida law is clear,” he said in a video posted to X. “Hiring decisions cannot be based on race, and the Rooney Rule mandates race-based interviews and incentivizes race-based decisions. That’s discrimination.”
Kamala Harris would be a good NFL coach.
You mean tedious, illegal, racist, woke bullshit hasn’t ushered in a grand new era of utopian perfection? I can’t even.
They need to hit up the NBA too.
And NHL.
Traveling isn’t a federal crime. Although it should be.
The NHL? I had no idea.
His words echo a broader campaign waged by the Trump administration. The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, which for decades sought to remedy vast racial injustices in America, has now made tackling discrimination against white people, especially men, a priority.
Mad King Donald has turned the world upside down!
So discrimination against white people isn’t a racial injustice? Do I have that right?
You can’t discriminate against white people, they’re just not as good as other races.
Correct.
Who told you about the Hugo Spritz? That’s right. I did.
I’m in front of big media!
Its true, he did.
Our very own influencer.
You’re all just mad because you want to date Elliot or something like that.
I thought Ellen was cute, in her mousy, slightly Jewish look. It’s kinda my thing, and she’s tiny, which is really my thing. (I’m not a large man.) I don’t think Page is a tremendously good actor, and don’t see why they’re playing a younger ghost of Achilles (or one of his friends?).
In general, I really like Nolan. I like that he’s doing it in-scene as much as possible. *thumbs up* I don’t get Matt DAAAAMON at all. (Hrm. Apparently O’s ~50yo in the story. *shrug*)
Pretty big shrug, from me. I love Inception (I’m one of those, apparently) and Dunkirk is phenomenal. Prestige is underrated and I need to watch it again. I largely kinda trust him and know that’s a silly thing to do. Well. He *will* get my $$. *shrug* I hope I enjoy it.
You mean, you don’t see why she is playing a younger ghost of Achilles (or one of his friends)?
And today’s Saturday afternoon project – estate planning. Sigh…
I haven’t updated my wife and my wills since my son came of age. It’s a fun gut punch as you go through your assets, advanced healthcare directive and a power of attorney. The POA and AHCD aren’t the problem although it certainly demonstrates one’s mortality. Bigger issue is dealing with the assets.
Look at Mr. Fancy-Monocle-Pants here with a whole estate to plan. And assets.
I’d appreciate it if you could choose an irresponsible trustee who is living in California when you die.
LOL!
You’re irresponsible and living in California?
Yeah that’s on my agenda too.