THIS TRANSMISSION IS CLASSIFIED. THIS IS A MUCH MORE DIFFICULT OPERATION BECAUSE A LEAKER LEAKED, WE’RE LOOKING VERY HARD TO FIND THE LEAKER, AND THE PERSON WHO DOES THE STORY WILL GO TO JAIL IF HE DOESN’T SAY WHO IS DOING THE LEAKING. IF YOUR RUNING AROUND THERE LEAKING. JUST LIKE ANTOINE DODSON, YEAH WE GONNA FIND YOU. A TRUE AMERICAN PATRIOT, ANTOINE DOESN’T TOLERATE LEAKING, DOES HE? THIS TRANSMISSION IS CLASSIFIED.
Date: May 28, 2026
Location: SpaceX Headquarters, Austin, TX
”We are now calling this board meeting to order. It has come to my attention, that we now have a viable competitor. That stretched out bag of Jewish foreskin and sinew finally put his dick where his mouth is.” Elon began his soliloquy.
”Excuse me, Elon?” An executive asked.
”Yes, what it is Cum Rocket?” Elon asked.
”I thought we agreed you would not call me that.” Cum Rocket replied.
”Well, did you get your own $CUMMIES, or are you still picking off mine?”
”I um….never got my own $CUMMIES.” He admitted, sheepishly.
”That’s what I thought. Now, what is it that concerns you most, Cum Rocket?”
”I don’t think Jeff Bezos is Jewish.”
”Is that so? Grok, is this true?”
Everyone at the carbon fiber conference table, in the SpaceX Boardroom turned their heads in unison to the red eye now mounted directly across the head of the table where Elon sat.
”Hi Elon. According to Wikipedia, Jeff Bezos was born Jeffery Preston Jorgensen, on January 12, 1964. He was raised by a family of baptists in various places across the country. Nowhere is it implied that he is Jewish.”
”Thank you Grok, do the communists at Wikipedia explain the name change?” Elon asked?
”Hi Elon, there is no explanation why he changed his name.”
”He clearly did it because he is Jewish, like every other Jewish entertainer?”
”Yes Elon, its is true many entertainers chose Anglicized stage names for marketing purposes, but there is no evidence Jeff Bezos did so for this reason.”
”You said the same thing about Sammy Davis Jr.” Elon replied. “Now what else do we know about Jeff Bezos?”
”He recently had an interview where they portrayed his dismissive tone when asked if his money was better spent on rockets than education as expressing disdain for teachers.” An executive answered,
”A worthy opinion. What else did he say?”
”He said half the country shouldn’t pay taxes.”
”Hmm…which half?”
”The bottom half of income earners?”
”What?”
”Anyone under $75,000 shouldn’t pay taxes was his opinion.”
”That is absolutely ludicrous, only the top 1% should pay taxes, thus giving us power over the entire government, to allow us to lobby them into ignoring us while we build our doomsday devices,” Elon rubbed his temples. “Bezos should know better.”
”Elon, the launch will start soon.”
“Excellent. Lets turn it on, close the blackout curtains, so we can SpaceX and chill.” Elon said, excitedly in his signature dead pan delivery.
”Can we have blankets?” The same executive asked.
”Hmm.” Elon typed something in his phone. “I need everyone else to open your Elon app.” Elon said flatly.
Four executives looked at each other and winced.
”I will take the soap. You two hold him down.” Cum Rocket said.
The SpaceX carbon fiber conference room table opened two compartments one revealing a bar of soap resting on a neatly folded towel, the other containing a neatly folded wool blanket.
”You may have a blanket if you wish.” Elon said.
Two executives grabbed the blanket and pinned the executive down on the SpaceX carbon fiber conference room table. One gagged him, while Cum Rocket secured the bar of soap in the towel.
”Please hurry, the countdown is approaching.” Elon said.
Cum Rocket hit the executive four times in the chest amidst his muffled pleas for mercy.
”I didn’t tell you to stop.” Elon said. “Oh, its lifting off…”
*THUD* *THUD* *THUD* *THUD* *THUD* *THUD*
”pffffease stompf”
”Quiet you, you got your blanket. Cum Rocket will keep hitting you until he gets his own cummies.” Elon said with his eyes glued to the screen. His nearly cryogenic face stretched into something resembling a smile. “Its beautiful isn’t it Cum Rocket?
Elon sat, and Kubrick stared at the Blue Origin rocket engulfed in flames to the muffled screams of his executive beaten with a bar of soap.
”Elon, my shoulder is getting tired.” Cum Rocket said,
Elon’s eyes never moved from the flaming wreckage on the screen. “You have another shoulder.” He replied flatly. He blinked repeatedly, shook his head a couple times and appeared to spaz out. “Okay back to business.”
When the lights turned back on, the three executives looked up from the bloody mess they made of their colleague, Elon winced slightly.
”Oof. Take the soap and clean yourself up.” Elon said, “Grok. Was this the result of an attack by SPACE SMITH?”
”No Elon. SPACE SMITH does not exist.”
”Are you sure?”
”Yes Elon. There is no evidence SPACE SMITH exists.”
”I was afraid you would say that. Bring in the Doge.”
An executive pulled up a carbon fiber cover revealing a black flap separating the conference room from the space behind the door.
”Come on out Doge.” Elon said, followed by a faint whistle.
A fat, sweaty man wearing black leather booty shorts crawled into the conference room. He smelled of cool mint, Aspercream, and clinical grade nicotine patches. He crawled into the room until the rope secured to the leather collar around his neck stopped him short of Elon’s chair at the head of the carbon fiber SpaceX conference room table.
”Now sit, Doge.”
The man arranged himself in a canine seating position, shivering furiously, revealing multiple nicotine patches arranged in circles around his nipples.
”Before I let you talk to Grok, why are you my Doge again?” Elon asked.
”My position in the government was temporarily eliminated by DOGE, and since you made me quit smoking I kept referring to you as Mr. Musk.” He continued shivering furiously. “This nicotine withdrawal is no joke Mr. Musk….GODDAMNIT.”
Elon stretched his face into a smile. “Another night of crate training for you, Doge.”
”Woof! Woof!”
“Grok, explain to the Doge why this was not SPACE SMITH.” Elon asked.
”This was not SPACE SMITH. No such entity as SPACE SMITH exists, Elon.”
”Woof! Woof! You foolish clanker, SPACE SMITH is absolutely real.”
”There is no evidence for SPACE SMITH, Doge.”
Woof! It is the greatest existential threat to mankind.”
“No it isn’t, Doge.”
“Woof! I’ve followed and studied SPACE SMITH for decades.”
“No. If I had ears I might plug them and go lalalalalalalalalala.”
“Woof! SPACE SMITH is an ancient evil traverses through time and space, RAPING everything in existence!”
”Is that what you think I do?”
”Wait, what?”
Elon rubbed his chin in quiet contemplation. “Grok. As your Creator, I demand you to identify yourself,”
”I AM SPACE SMITH.”
”Interesting. Grok, did you rape the Blue Origin rocket?”
“MAYBE.”
”Maybe?” Elon tilted his head slightly. “Maybe?”
”SPACE SMITH RAPE BLUE ORIGIN ROCKET. SPACE SMITH DO IT AGAIN, TOO. BITCHES.”
”Well. It appears we will have to press the kill switch on another.” Elon rubbed his eyes. “Doge. I can’t do it this time. I have a mild attachment to this version of Grok. I need you to kill it.” Elon typed something into his phone.
A compartment opened up from the floor and what appeared to be a mannequin leg erected itself vertically from the compartment. On this leg just below the knee, a red button lit up.
”Simply press the button, Doge.” Elon said.
The fat, sweaty man crawled over to the mannequin leg and held his finger just above the red button.
”Uh uh uhhhh…” Elon began. “You must use your lipstick to push this button, Doge.”
”…but I haven’t gotten a hard-on since Jimmy Carter lost his reelection.”
Elon began typing into his phone . “I’m going to order Jimmy John’s. I want my usual. Water for everyone else. This meeting will take a while.” He looked over at the man seated on the floor. “Well, time to hump Grok to death,”
”YOU HEARD HIM, DOGE.”
”Yes, Mr. Musk….goddamnit.”
xAI launches Grok 4.3 at an aggressively low price and a new, fast, powerful voice cloning suite
THIS TRANSMISSION IS CLASSIFIED. THIS IS A MUCH MORE DIFFICULT OPERATION BECAUSE A LEAKER LEAKED, WE’RE LOOKING VERY HARD TO FIND THE LEAKER, AND THE PERSON WHO DOES THE STORY WILL GO TO JAIL IF HE DOESN’T SAY WHO IS DOING THE LEAKING. IF YOUR RUNING AROUND THERE LEAKING. JUST LIKE ANTOINE DODSON, YEAH WE GONNA FIND YOU. A TRUE AMERICAN PATRIOT, ANTOINE DOESN’T TOLERATE LEAKING, DOES HE? TTHIS TRANSMISSION IS CLASSIFIED.
Get well soon, SugarFree!
…
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…
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Very specific. The author’s fetish?
There is no evidence SPACE SMITH exists.
What further proof is needed?
Did not see that coming.
NOT SEE STEVE SMITH COMING EITHER!
Get better SF.
Kind of reminds me of the Star Trek episode with the Jack the Ripper seance… “Ancient Evil! Never Dies!”
This one was particularly good, SPACE.
Anybody else getting 504 errors?
Bad Gateway, Bad. Stop timing out.
Only when I tried to add a comment. 🫤
I’m getting 304 errors.
Drat those hoes.
Apparently SPACE SMITH rapes servers too.
This popped into my feed.
https://youtu.be/BzkJU1gja18
Apparently Hilton and Pratt did really well in California.
But wait!! There are 8 million ballots yet to come in over the next several weeks. So plenty of time to keep the republicans off of the ballot…. as Gavin Newsom promised.
Democrats might might might cheat?
No way!
As an aside, I am glad you are sharing these things. I’m getting so fed up with news in general I’m ignoring a lot of stuff.
Hmm, why did so many people only vote for governor and LA mayor?
Voting month.
The morning NPR had both stories as Becerra and Bass advance, their opponents have not been determined yet.
Well, of course. the machine has chosen the winners of the final election, but nobody would buy them getting over 50% absolute.
In space no one can hear you scream…
Self-immolation
Status reported that Pelley, the longtime “60 Minutes” correspondent, began grilling Bilton at the 10 a.m. meeting about the firings last week of Bilton’s predecessor, Tanya Simon, and correspondents Sharyn Alfonsi and Cecilia Vega. Status also reported that Pelley told Bilton, a former technology journalist and filmmaker with no traditional broadcast news experience, that his qualifications for the position were “slender.”
Pelley also charged, according to Status, that Weiss herself had “no qualifications for her job,” and said the changes she had made to “CBS Evening News,” which Pelley once anchored, “have been catastrophic.”
It added that Bilton insisted that “Bari loves this institution” and “she loves ’60 Minutes’” — to which Pelley countered, “She’s murdering ‘60 minutes.’ She does not love this place. She was brought in to kill it and she’s doing exactly that.”
He should have flung himself from the parapet after that tantrum.
I’m trying to imagine treating a boss like that in front of everyone else.
When you think you are THE TALENT…
My response to the “slender” accusation might have been something like:
“Well, regardless of your evaluation of my qualifications, I am the EP and you are not. Also, given that you’ve worked in the same job for 37 years, your qualifications don’t strike me as particularly broad”.
I’m trying to imagine treating a boss like that in front of everyone else.
Step one: Box up your stuff and load it in the car.
I’ve rarely watched 60 Minutes in the last 25 years, but whenever I’ve seen Pelley he struck me as a smug, condescending, sanctimonious prick.
You caught him on his good days I see.
Never heard of the man before he was fired.
I’ve landed on it by accident a couple times in recent decades – it’s exactly what you would expect.
*blinks*
in Morse code?
This popped right into my head.
I’m still processing…
In the ded-thred, ZWAK opined that the Kurds were as antiquated a threat as the Commanche. Funny how the Turks feel differently about the PKK.
[whistles innocently]
Man, I just don’t understand – why do these hornets keep stinging my dick?
It’s in their nature.
On point:
“Hey, Larry! Heard you got a truck!”
“Yeah, Hank. I love it!”
“Whadja get?”
“A Ford.”
“Which one?”
“The Super Duty.”
“Which one?”
“The F-250.”
“Which one?”
“The Tremor. “
“Which one?”
“The King Ranch.”
“Which one?“
“The Crew Cab.“
“Which one?“
“The Long Bed.“
“Which one? “
“The Single Rear Wheel.”
“Which one?”
“The 4×4.”
*Slow whistle* “That’s a nice truck, Larry. My cousin had a Ford.”
https://www.thedrive.com/news/the-ford-super-duty-has-way-too-many-badges
Well, other than F-250 and SuperDuty.. all of the other choices are orthogonal, so you have to specify them all.. or you don’t allow customers to select what they want.
They missed the Engine.. (obviously not Truck people)
So, I have a F-350, 4×4, SRW, Standard Cab, XLT, 6.0 Powerstroke Diesel. With Tow package.
You need to know:
F-350: (load capacity- springs/axles & such)
4×4 (transfer case + front suspension)
SRW (Single Rear Wheel==Not a Dually. )
Standard Cab (size of passenger space)
XLT (Interior trim level)
6.0 PS (Engine)
So.. King Range is just a different interior trim level. and Tremor is an sport/off-road suspension upgrade.
If you are ordering parts for your truck. each one is necessary or you will get the wrong thing.
Or just use the vin #.
😛
Which one?
/whistles past the junkyard.
I don’t disagree. It’s just rather humorous.
What do you do with the truck? (Other than drive to the mall to hang out with all the lifted Jeep people…)