About The Author

CPRM

CPRM

Organic troll farmer.

75 Comments

  1. Sean

    Fuck yeah!

    • R.J.

      You forgot to say “America!” first.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        That’s ‘Merca! (fuck ya!)

      • UnCivilServant

        You mean *red-tailed hawk screech*. The Eagle makes a less than dignified noise.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Got to see a bald eagle on the water today…then a great blue heron flew by and was much more magnificent and probably a dinosaur

      • Gustave Lytton

        This Murica! We do the greatest! Even if it’s a fake stand in.

      • Not Adahn

        Cut the funding for gay crack shrimp on treadmills, and use that money to CRISPR Bald Eagles to sound more badass!

  2. juris imprudent

    The Hair is a dissident? Dare I say, the voice of reality?

  3. DEG

    Pallets of money.

    Meet the new boss, same as the old boss…

    • Sean

      That’s not a 69 Trans Am. 👎

      • DEG

        Printed. On Vellum. Only the best to go with a V12 and a manual transmission.

  4. Evan from Evansville

    I really, really, really don’t get the pallets of money. Why would you give money to folk you just bombed? Ah, to rebuild. Well. Uh. The Marshall Plan, this ain’t, and everyone knows it. Is it just the open secret way of saying in ‘give ’em global currency so they’ll have a safe landing if their people kill ’em? Or just ‘here’s money, now hush-hush.’ (Yes.)

    The ‘accepted’ way of bribing people and still calling it diplomacy, which. To be fair. Has always been a big part of ‘diplomacy.’ I suppose we’re supposed to just nod along. I’ll happily nod if they throw some bucks my way. (No, I don’t ‘nod’ my head for $20. I’m talkin’ WAY more. (About many things. Drama. Periscopes. Acknowledgement.)

    • rhywun

      The Marshall Plan, this ain’t, and everyone knows it.

      I’m not so sure they do.

      I think our leaders might actually be dumb enough to believe that we can just throw money at Iran and they’ll be nice from now on.

      • Evan from Evansville

        How well the Marshall Plan worked gives precedent for those that want to do ‘it’ now. (Again! But our way! *teehee!*)

        Just spitballing, but that might be a great example of good governance requires “a moral citizenry.” They were destroyed and got to feel what losing really feels like, so ‘morality’ maybe got slapped into ’em. (‘Oh. We really really have to behave, don’t we?’) Still, the German and Japanese cultures are/were known for better discipline than Stateside folk.

        Really remarkable how well that worked. And such ‘fun’ examples of those who don’t play ball nicely, with N Korea and E Germany.

      • rhywun

        I don’t think we have done anything like “destroying” Iran, for starters.

        Institute a draft and send a couple million doughboys over there any maybe that could happen.

      • Evan from Evansville

        No, no, indeed. We played ultra-accurate ‘nice’ with Iran. Japan and Germany were destroyed. They had no choice but to play ball and behave. Their ‘natural’ culture, ‘moral,’ was IMO necessary for them to swallow it and get back on their feet. Impressive. No way Germany could do it again, push come to shove, sadly, but I reckon Japan could if they had to.

      • rhywun

        As it is we have given them a couple love taps. I’m not buying the “we destroyed their nuclear facilities” either. The whole thing rings like complete bullshit. They are certainly behaving as such, and why wouldn’t they. Clusterfuck from beginning to end and the rah-rah Right trying to justify the whole farce are beginning to look really fucking dumb about now.

      • Evan from Evansville

        Agreed. If they had just killed the Ayatollah, then with Israel killing all their Top Dogs while ‘voting’ for the Supreme Top Dog, I still wouldn’t have liked it, but I could tip my cap to it. If we just walked away. (Never was gonna happen, and the entire ‘why’ I don’t like it, our dirty cock sounding ANOTHER MEast dick.)

        But nope. Most plausible shit kinda really is ‘Wag the Dog’ or all Distraction Dust to launder money so the higher ups around the world can get their payday. (Same thing with why nothing will happen with Epstein’s ‘files.’ Far too many people, nations, groups, ‘treaties,’ ‘alignments,’ ‘agreements,’ and it’s all so nasty and incredibly embarrassing, and Epstein’s Box simply can’t be opened.

        “Dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria!”

      • Ownbestenemy

        Arab nations nearby played ball — which probably led to assessments early on that they can turn the ME opinion of Iran from backroom deals to front and center and then they all just….scurried into their corners.

        “A coalition of the willing” wasn’t there and I am sure the DoW was happy to play up “It worked in Venezuela, let us play with bigger toys again” and Trump was more than happy to allow that.

      • Threedoor

        We don’t have enough B52s or 500 pounders to destroy anything anymore.

        Much less the will to level Mecca during the hajj.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Make the Black Stone peninsula sized?

      • Threedoor

        And glossy.
        IDGAF whaat happens to that region.

  5. Ownbestenemy

    From the previous threads —

    Sorry Tonio, no recent meat-smoking pics.

    “White House app auto-downloads to government phones” Ya, they are government phones…they dictate the apps on them just like my computer/laptop.

    And just where are these bouncing boobies?

    • Ownbestenemy

      They also force download my logging app which is shitty and known spyware ZScaler and a Google Suite, but I repeat myself. Where is my fainting couch!

      • Threedoor

        Logging app…

        It’s Grinder isnt it?

    • Chipping Pioneer

      Sorry Tonio, no recent meat-smoking pics.

  6. dbleagle

    This recent fight with Iran confirmed my fears about OMB and war. 1) He talks like a tough guy but doesn’t have what it takes to truly inflict massive harm on your opponent. 2) He is like a cat chasing a laser pointer and doesn’t have the patience to execute through to the strategic end. 3) He thinks too highly of himself and will not listen to actual experts. He is the C-in-C but if the people who have spent their entire careers in targeting systems say “Hit that and follow up like this to get to stated goal.” Then listen.

    Now my fear is that the Iranians have learned a lesson the Dems have refused to learn. If the IRGC strokes his ego in negotiations and let him play the great negotiator- Iran’s leadership will achieve their secondary and tertiary goals. Because Don’s ego won’t listen to a reality outside his own skull. (They already achieved their primary goal- regime survival.)

    • Ownbestenemy

      If the IRGC strokes his ego in negotiations and let him play the great negotiator- Iran’s leadership will achieve their secondary and tertiary goals.

      Not so sure. My guess is we are negotiating with who we want to run the country and they are doing so — then we declare XYZ and then the real power screams out its not.

      I also don’t thing regime survival is achieved but more like power struggle obtained the reigns and now we got ourselves a quagmire in dealing with a faction that doesn’t want all this versus “Kill Satan IRGC” really holding on to the power.

      • Brochettaward

        Is there any actual evidence to back up the assertion that we achieved anything besides knocking off a few of the leadership class and that we are now negotiating with people who are under our thumb, or is this more of the thing where we pretend that Trump is playing 5D chess?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      4) Our “experts” are retards too. This stupid ass war is our biggest foreign policy mistake since Vietnam.

    • DEG

      America looks week because of this war.

      On the other hand, it was inevitable. Debt line go up!

    • Rat on a train

      Stay off dating sites.

    • Not Adahn

      Huh. That must be why they’re having catfish in the cafeteria for lunch.

    • The Hyperbole

      Misleading headline the venue lost power, not sure I’d call that a failure of the line system thing.

      • Not Adahn

        Hype, if you’re still on, may I use a panel or three from “Hey Buddy, Stop Doing that” in a post?

    • Brochettaward

      Only thing gayer than the soccers is the tennis.

  7. Brochettaward

    You know, I kind of wish I had been born a smalll-hat. I just learned they have this thing called “Birthright” where Jews from across the globe go and stay there and apparently the Israelis make their daughters fornicate with them in large numbers so they want to immigrate permanently.

    Two hot Israeli chicks at the same time for a little genocide AND I get to control all the world’s sheckles? I’m down.

    Oh American Jew, you want to fuck my hot daughters and her friends all at once? Have at it, don’t even need a condom.

    • Ted S.

      You’ve certainly got a very little head for that little hat.

      • Brochettaward

        Little head, big Firsts.

      • Brochettaward

        It’s a mating strategy.

      • Ted S.

        Or, more appropriate to you, no head,nl no firsts.

      • Brochettaward

        You say that right until you feel the wetness of my First oozing out of your every pore.

      • Ted S.

        You’ve gotten into Hunter Biden’s crack stash again, haven’t you?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Dealing with a bunch of Yentas (or gentiles for that matter) you’ve accidentally knocked up sounds like its own little corner of hell to me.

  8. Tres Cool

    suh’ fam
    whats goody

  9. Not Adahn

    Varian Wrynn’s cape is blue, not red.

    • WTF

      Good morning, UCS.
      Just curious, are you planning any more books from the Prince of the North Tower universe?

      • UnCivilServant

        I have multiple in progress.

        “On Unknown Shores” (the sequel to “Beyond the Edge of the Map”) is somewhat stalled in terms of getting words on the page.

        “Arvid’s Road Trip”/”Prince Arvid’s Periplus”/[Insert better name here] is 40k words in what looks to be a doorstopper.

        “Eye of an Artist’ (sequel to “Judge of Jinwick”) is in progress but early on in the text.

        “Silver Lotus”, “Zombi Man” and “Badenburg Mystery” are all in progress as well.

      • UnCivilServant

        correction, Arvid’s Road Trip is 50k words in.

      • WTF

        Cool. Let us know when they’re published, I would love to read more.

  10. DEG

    Mornin’

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, DEG, Ted’S., U, 4(20), WTF, NA, homey, Stinky, Bro, Teh Hype, Roat, and Sean!

      This is harder to do when I get up later.

      • Gender Traitor

        …and good morning, R.J. and good afternoon, Pie!

      • Gender Traitor

        Very well, thanks! My only frustration is that yesterday I spot cleaned, vacuumed, shampooed, and rinsed a large swath of what I thought was our irredeemably stained living room carpet, and it came out far cleaner than I could have hoped for. So naturally, that’s where one of the cats decided to spit up last night. 😖😸

        How are you today?

      • UnCivilServant

        Everyone wants me to provide answers I don’t have. Plus I overslept. And I need to do laundry.

        I hope the day gets better.

      • Gender Traitor

        I hope so too. 😟

      • Ted S.

        I’m surprised Ninja Cat lets you sleep in.

      • Ted S.

        So naturally, that’s where one of the cats decided to spit up last night. 😖😸

        Good kitty!

      • Gender Traitor

        And I haven’t investigated closely, but I think our next door neighbors may have put some…shall we say… robust natural fertilizer in some of their planting beds. 😝

      • Gender Traitor

        Neither cat is allowed in the bedroom at night, as they have the inconvenient habit of sleeping on TT’s ankles. Plus they have dry food out at all times, so they don’t demand to be fed. It IS lucky, though, that Ninja Cat doesn’t scratch at the door and sing the song of his people just because he misses me SO MUCH!!

  11. PieInTheSky

    double earthquake in Venezuela… looks nasty

    • Ted S.

      I blame Elon Musk.

      Or maybe global warming.

    • UnCivilServant

      How long until the idiots say this never would have happened under Maduro?

      • Fourscore

        …and it didn’t…

      • R.J.

        Clearly Maduro was magic.

    • Ted S.

      It’s actually MS’s new GIF that’s responsible.