Team America

by | Jul 9, 2026 | Film, Fun, GlibFlick | 104 comments

Team America (On Pluto)

We were DENIED last week, but like any good American, I do not give up*. Here it is! Team America. Let’s keep that July 4th vibe going. I was super tired over the 4th, I spent most of it travelling. I got home on the 4th, and slept to the sound of fireworks going off everywhere. On the 5th the whole world smelled like fireworks, which is how it should be. But again, I felt DENIED, because I was too beat to stay up for fireworks. Thankfully my neighbors have been providing a nightly fireworks show ever since then. Americans find a way!

Now, on to Team America. Does this really need an introduction? To me, this was a timeless classic from the moment it came out. What i will do is give you some great trivia. Look around, and you might see a lot more fun details. Trivia courtesy IMDB:

  • The streets are paved with croissants in the opening scene in Paris.
  • All the background foliage in the Panama sequence is cannabis plants.
  • The Team America male puppets have the tails side of an American Susan B. Anthony one-dollar coin on the front of their belts.
  • The statue in Jong-Il Kim’s palace is actually a human in heavy makeup. In the first scene in which he appears, you can see his eyes blinking.

And now, a game – How many times is the word “f*ck” used in the song “America, F*ck Yeah?” Get it right and get ten Glib points. What else can you see or hear tonight? I look forward to your thoughts in the comments. The detail in this film is incredible. Enjoy!

So watch! Or don’t! Everything is voluntary! Next week, we will have someone’s suggestion for our audience appreciation Thursday! Not sure which one yet. Leave me some ideas below!

*Excluding our soccer team

About The Author

R.J.

R.J.

Hello. My name is R.J. I am a Tulpa with extra cheese and sour cream.

104 Comments

  1. Tres Cool

    Murica!
    Fuck yeah!

  2. DEG

    Diving in. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen this.

    • rhywun

      Same here. *presses play*

  3. Common Tater

    (On Pluto)

    So far didn’t crash like every other time.

    • R.J.

      Good

  4. DEG

    The puppets walk like they are in the Ministry of Silly Walks skit. I never noticed that.

    • R.J.

      I couldn’t find any good trivia on that. I think that is just how marionettes walk.
      Matt Damon though – apparently his mask came back from the shop horribly distorted, and he looked retarded. So Trey decided to play him that way.

      • R.J.

        Matt Damon!

      • Trigger Hippie

        Fun fact: Both Trey Parker and Matt Stone voiced the Matt Damon puppet. Why? Because: Why not?

    • PutridMeat

      There was also a rumor going around, probably apocryphal, that the first time movie execs saw the film was close to the final cut. There was palpable panic in the room for about 15 seconds on the opening scene. It’s too good not to be true.

      I can’t remember if it’s in the ‘uncensored’ version or theatrical, but there’s a great line after the Panama Canal where Gary is all shook up that everyone hates them now. something like:

      Spottswoode: Well everybody hates Winnie the Pooh too, and that doesn’t stop him!
      Gary: No they don’t! Everyone loves Winnie the Pooh!
      Spottswoode: Well I do. That cocking-sucking bear killed Jack Kennedy!

      I researched it. Couldn’t find a connection between Pooh and Kennedy, but… And of course now I can’t find the line in the movie, so maybe I just hallucinated it.

      • Common Tater

        He was nine-years-old.

      • Chafed

        I want to hear about more of your hallucinations.

  5. Evan from Evansville

    Such a fantastic flick, project, and legit message. Nails it all.

    “Kim Jong Il died on 17 December 2011 as reported. December at 8:30 am of a massive heart attack while traveling outside Pyongyang.” Many big laughs were had, and this flick came up repeatedly. No outward celebration, IIRC, from the SoKos, but I’m quite sure certain things weren’t allowed to be said or done.

    Repeatedly, the North would do some drill or something and I’d see/ hear US Americans on FB+ screeching in fear. Folk’d would message me to see if I was okay, or what the ‘word on the ground’ was. I quickly learned no Koreans gave a shit. Same ol’ same ‘ol, on repeat for ~60yrs. I found that rather entertaining.

  6. DEG

    Chauffeur looking longingly.

  7. DEG

    Buck oh five?

    I wonder what that is with inflation.

    • DrOtto

      $20, same as downtown

      • DEG

        I heard it’s now $25 downtown.

  8. BethAnnica

    So, I’ve never seen this before. I feel like I’m about to get an education.

    • R.J.

      *Inserts STEVE SMITH joke.

    • Evan from Evansville

      *squints* Not sure I recognize you, though ya still seem familiar. Welcome, hazy Tulpa. *squint … tightens*

      • Threedoor

        Don’t tighten if you see Steve, relax. Think loose thoughts.

  9. DEG

    Bad OpSec

  10. R.J.

    In the opening Paris scene, there is one puppet with a velvet jacket walking in the background. I looked closely. It’s Jon Pertwee wearing his Doctor Who costume.

  11. R.J.

    I just went out to eat. Had fish and chips and a beer. I then was perusing outdoor furniture at Nebraska Furniture Mart, got sick and barfed it all up in the bushes outside. Fantastic evening.

    • DEG

      Yuck. Sorry.

      • R.J.

        The upcoming vomit scene (spoiler) was quite similar.

    • Rat on a train

      Reenacting the scene from the film?

      • R.J.

        Almost exactly!

      • Plinker762

        Is Team America the new Rocky Horror Picture Show?

      • R.J.

        It should be

      • Trigger Hippie

        “You gave up on life, didn’t you?!

    • BethAnnica

      Capitalism can be sickening.

    • Common Tater

      Yikes! You OK now?

      • R.J.

        Kinda. I think it was food allergy. Too fast for food poisoning. Wife is driving us home.

      • slumbrew

        The salmon mousse?

        (Seriously, feel better)

    • Plinker762

      I had lasagna.

    • Aloysious

      It’s better to let it out and bear the shame than hold it in and bear the pain. Just like flatulence.

    • Chafed

      Feel better you green headed bulbous alien.

  12. DEG

    Corporation-y.

    Huh. That’s all we need.

  13. DEG

    Lots of commercials.

    • R.J.

      That is a downside to Pluto

    • rhywun

      About the same as Tubi for me.

  14. PutridMeat

    Quite possibly the best song is at the end of the credits, so it’s worth sitting through the credits.

    And if you sit through the credits, you can see the two great talents, yes two, that were required to voice Matt Damon properly.

    • Rat on a train

      La Cucaracha?

    • Trigger Hippie

      Ah, beat me to it.

  15. Aloysious

    RJ, you don’t give up or surrender because you aren’t French.

    (Just kidding,my French brothers).

  16. DEG

    Bad Guy Mistake.

    Just launch the weapons.

    • R.J.

      I know. Countdowns are for Bond villains.

  17. DrOtto

    I think I’m going to make the wife watch this one.

  18. DEG

    Well, I’m sorry to say but this wasn’t as good as I remember. But, I still made it to the end.

    Thanks RJ!

    • Common Tater

      It was a bit a product of it’s time.

    • rhywun

      Yeah, I have to agree. And it’s no Bigger, Longer, and Uncut.

  19. Common Tater

    Pluto worked.

    • R.J.

      The curse is lifted?

    • rhywun

      Playing an on-demand movie was surprisingly effortless on this hotel TV, unlike Pluto “Live TV” which is flaky as shit here. If I get a channel running I don’t dare change it.

      • UnCivilServant

        Rhy at checkout “What is this $2,000 additional charge?”
        Desk Clerk “Working video.”

      • rhywun

        Weirdly I didn’t see any of the PPV and bow-chicka-bow-wow channels I recall seeing from most previous hotel stays. Just basic cable, sports, and some streams like Netflix, Youtube, all of which require an account except for Pluto.

  20. Tres Cool

    “you had me at dicks fuck assholes”

    • R.J.

      That is the beat speech.

      • R.J.

        Beat=best.
        *Vomits again

  21. Evan from Evansville

    I don’t care, but I kinda hope Morocco wins. I’m really glad I went on that trip. Volubilis was a Roman fort, a few hundred years before Christ and a couple after. Columns, Forum architecture, fresca’s on the streets. I loved it was pretty much *the* westernmost bit of the Empire. It was 2015 and I only had a tablet with a dying battery to take pics. I technically have them, but I’m unable to get the few pics I was able to get with it. Dies as soon as I hit share and has to ‘do’ something.

    France also deserves to lose. WTF is ‘France,’ anyway? And.. “K. MBappe” just scored for the surrender monkeys. It really is silly.

    • UnCivilServant

      I hope the fans rush the field and rip both teams to shreds along with the officials.

      /Blood Bowl

    • rhywun

      Are you… writing from the past?

      • Evan from Evansville

        UCS may be. It’s on FS1 right now and it doesn’t say “Encore” or “Replay.” I just saw it was on and am background watching. If you placed a bet, let me know *wink wink* and I’ll see *cough* if I can make events unfold in your favor.

      • UnCivilServant

        Don’t be absurd. If anything I’m posting from the future! It’s the Year 2000

        *Error in Real Time Clock Module

      • rhywun

        I have found that if it doesn’t say “LIVE” it isn’t live. I only caught the last five minutes or so earlier but I won’t spoil.

      • Evan from Evansville

        I’m not ‘watching,’ though I did see the ending. Diamondbacks @ San Diego’s is live! I like Arizona more than many others. 2001 WS was epic.

        On my drive today, fantastic Cubs @ Baltimore game to radio-listen. Didn’t end how I wanted, but we took 2/3. Near the IN/MI border, I drove through a downpour that, for perhaps the first time in memory, considered pulling off because of the rain alone. It was nuts. Swept by fairly quickly, but everyone was driving carefully. Successfully, AFAICT.

        Was joking today was like a VisionQuest Vacation Drive. I really like taking 31 north. Crosses the Continental Divide!

  22. Gustave Lytton

    Watching Danny Kaye movies.

    • UnCivilServant

      *grumble*

      This is far too early for sane people to be awake.

      • Ted S.

        You’re not sane.

      • UnCivilServant

        My mental health would be much improved were I not forced to be awake at such hours of madness.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Sean, U, and Ted’S.!

      • UnCivilServant

        Morning, GT.

        Made it to the office. hopefully it will be a quiet day.

        How are things where you are at?

      • Gender Traitor

        Okay, except I had a bit of a rude awakening this morning. I was maybe half awake at about ten ’til 5:00 when our land line phone rang once. Just once. All I could think of was the old campfire ghost story/horror movie line “The call is coming from inside the house!!!” 😳

        Then I heard TT’s cell phone ping and my cell phone vibrate – it was a friend texting us info we’d asked her to send about her daughter’s softball tournament. I guess she didn’t realize one of the numbers she had for us was the land line. 🙄

      • Ted S.

        Better that than Ninja Cat trying to kill you.

      • UnCivilServant

        🐱‍👤🩸🤕

        That’s just a regular weekday. It’s almost like you’ve never lived with cats.

      • Gender Traitor

        Ninja Cat isn’t allowed in the bedroom at night, but goodness knows he tries. In the evening if we don’t shut the door in time, he hides under the bed. I’ve had to drag him out of there many times. 😒😸

      • rhywun

        When I tried to keep my cats out of the bedroom at night they just kept clawing at the door long enough to drive me nuts and let them in.

  23. Ted S.

    A few weeks back I mentioned a kerfuffle about the local school superintendent possibly fat-shaming people at a school board meeting. Things are getting wilder:

    Kingston school president blasted for political post that quoted racial slur in report

    KINGSTON, N.Y. — Kingston school board President Marc Rider is facing criticism over a recent social media post that selectively copied a 2015 online story’s use of a racial slur when quoting a striking worker of a company operated by the father of Republican congressional candidate Jackie Auringer.

    During a Wednesday, July 8, Board of Education meeting, Auringer supporter and former school board member Jolie Dunham said the since-deleted post that used the fully spelled word “n***er” in the worker’s quote fits a pattern in which bad behavior is not taken seriously.

    […]

    Screenshots of Rider’s post show a link to the Align website — which had a shortened version of a Nov. 5, 2015, story by online non-profit news site Gothamist — with one of Jackie Auringer’s campaign photo added at the bottom. The story cobbles together reports and cites a person who was said to be on strike from Thomas Auringer’s U.S. Crane, which has one of its equipment storage locations in the town of Ulster.

    […]

    Auringer, who is running against Democratic incumbent U.S. Rep. Pat Ryan in the 18th Congressional District, attended the meeting without addressing the school board. She defended her family’s business and said the information used by Rider was defamatory, saying the school board was being contradictory in handling personnel issues such as putting a former high school principal on leave of absence for using a homophobic term while elevating Rider to a leadership position.

    • rhywun

      I lost track of the thread in that story but it sounds like a lot of people just need to grow up.

      • Ted S.

        As I understand it:

        1) Woman running for Congress as TEAM RED.
        2) Her dad may have grifted with the family business in the first DeBlasio term but didn’t grease the right palms.
        3) Blood libel because TEAM RED.
        4) Apparently one of the business’ sins is that an employee used slur words, which a TEAM BLUE hack didn’t blur out.
        5) Republicans pounce! How dare they!

        And these are mostly the people in charge of our children’s education….

    • UnCivilServant

      Oh, no, mustn’t use wrongspeak!

      You know, these evil words only have as much totemic power as you grant them.

      • R C Dean

        I, for one, am sick and tired of the primitive superstition that saying or writing “nigger” somehow casts the evil on someone, or whatever.

  24. Fourscore

    Good Mornin’, Each and every Glibster!

    Another fine morning in the woods.

    I learned something this morning. If I cover the little button on the bottom of my indoor-outdoor thermometer
    it lights up and I can see the temps/humidity clearly .

    I never knew that. That’s something important (to me). It doesn’t take much to make a geezer happy.

    • UnCivilServant

      Must be a light sensor to control the brightness of the display.

      Sounds useful. Especially if the display isn’t properly illuminated when the machine thinks it’s bright enough to read.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, 4(20)! Aren’t you the tech-savvy one!

  25. rhywun

    Huh. Suspicions confirmed that the “‘Canes'” are trash.

    • slumbrew

      That’s an a-hole move.

    • UnCivilServant

      This is why I print monochrome.

    • rhywun

      How white of him.

  26. DEG

    Mornin’

      • DEG

        The weights at the gym but I’d have to leave for the gym for that to happen.

      • UnCivilServant

        I wish the weight on my scale would go down. It’s been teasing me, going between 281 and 282. I want to get into the 270s to celebrate a new milestone.

        I’m still fat, but I’m getting better.

      • DEG

        I saw your other posts on your numbers. You’ve made good progress.

        My weight has been slowly creeping up since the powerlifting competition four months ago. I was at 271 for the meet. I went up to 280. I’m down to, as of today, 274.

        And now I really must get my shit together and get to the gym.

      • UnCivilServant

        🏋️‍♂️
        😊👍

  27. Not Adahn

    Good morning!

    • UnCivilServant

      Morning.

      I need more caffiene before it can be classified as good. My left eye is tired. Not both eyes, just the left. Probably differential strain last night. I’ll have to look at the ergonomics of my computer setup again.

  28. Tres Cool

    suh’ fam
    yo whats goody

    TALL PAYDAY CANS!

    • UnCivilServant

      Nah, payday is this coming Wednesday.