Genre – Slop
Movie Total Runtime – 1 Hours 40 Minutes
Spoilers – Yes
Another 23 mainline episodes in the can, we’re on to Season 3! Let me see, what is up on the docket. Crime Dramas. Seven Weeks of Crime Dramas.
Or more specifically, the “What motley assortment of Robin Hood Adaptations I could grab off Amazon in a five minute search” We’re starting with the one I know the least about. The moment I saw a copyright date of 2024, I was filled with dread. It was only reinforced when I read the box blurb. Ladies and Gentlemen, I fear we might be in for something intended for the Modern Audience. I am not sure, but the signs are not good. Based on the title and the indistinct thumbnail on Amazon, I thought this was going to be an adaptation set in the inner city. Though seeing the box makes that a false assumption. Oh well, time to hit play and see what happens.
Before I do, I’m going to discard my understanding of the folklore, as I doubt they used any of the original source material.
The number of different studios credited before we get to the title or even pretitle boggles. “Shout Studios”, “Shout Kids”, “Sky”, “Future Artists Entertainment”, “Silver Reel”, “Epsilon Film” – this reeks of production by committee and I’ve just got to a panning shot of trees. Horsemen chase make no attempt to catch a kid running from them along the edge of the woods at a slow shuffle. A kid, running badly, would be overtaken by horse right quick. Instead, they trip Blond Runner with an arrow shot into the ground, and one of the horsemen removes their helmet to reveal Diversity Kid A. Some vaguely ethnic individual who looks too young to be in armor. In fact, all the pursuers are kids, as some girl pops out of the woods to demand they let Blond Runner go. The offense Blond Runner committed was… being found “North of the Skate Park”.
Is this somebody’s dissociative hallucination? Diversity Kid A threatens Blond Runner with a sword so fake its cross section is practically square. Bowgirl somehow fires a horizontal shot that plunges vertically into the ground by Diversity Kid A before threatening to not miss. The next shot fired begins to wipe away the layers of imagination as the arrow striking Diversity Kid A has a suction cup head rather than the bodkin point Bowgirl had nocked. The armor turns to cardboard as the camera pans and the horses to bikes. For some reason, despite outnumbering his opponents six to two, Diversity Kid A calls for reinforcements.
Bowgirl begins narrating, and claims she is Robin, but admits to not being “That Robin”. The shows keeps switching between reality and imagination land. Cringey brats LARP their ongoing conflict with the other group. This might be worse than a Modern Audiences Film… It might be kid slop.
What have I done?
Being kids, the one tactic they know is “frontal assault”. Somehow, probably lack of aptitude on the part of the defending archers, the assault reaches the barricades and forces a retreat. Why am I compelled to overanalyze the strategy of LARPing children?
The games end when Diversity Kid A accidentally draws blood. Now that we get a longer shot of reality, it appears to be set in the UK. Not Nottingham as far as I can tell. I’ve been to Nottingham, this does not look like Nottingham. It’s missing the city part.
Obviously Evil Realtor (I think she’s a realtor) hands out informational pamphlets and sinisterly invites residents to a meeting. She also has no regards for the “No Adults Allowed” signs. I like her already. Maybe she’ll evict the brats. Bowgirl’s personality is already grating on me. She needs a serious case of consequences for her own actions. The other mother who advocates for such is framed as a villain, but she’s not unreasonable in asking Bowgirl’s parents to, you know, enforce discipline of their minor child.
Obviously Evil Realtor is actually a property developer looking to build on the currently unused land where the kids LARP. I’m not sure what’s worse – Modern Audience crap or Kid Slop. I’m expected to believe the developer is a villain. All she’s done is propose use of undeveloped property. The actress was told to play it as sinister as possible. When Bowgirl petulantly whines that their game rules should somehow supersede the fact that the developers actually bought the land, I just want someone to introduce her to corporal punishment bordering on child abuse.
Grow up, you snotty, entitled, little shit.
I can already guess the plot before us – kiddie shenanigans frustrate the redevelopment project until the feather from the odd bird Blond Runner was chasing is used to prove that there is an endangered species living there, thus thwarting economic improvement. It’s been telegraphed so hard they should have credited Western Union.
I am not rooting for these protagonists. The designated villain plays the role so cartoonishly that I can’t stand to watch the actress embarrass herself. I don’t need to watch the rest of the film, and I like my blood pressure to stay at 120/80. I’m done twenty-eight minutes in.
Avoid this irritating trash.
I need a drink.
Recommendations?
Mead
My stock is running low, and I have to find where I put the corkscrew.
😥
I’m about to poor a Ranch Water.
How much water do you add to the Hidden Valley Ranch mix?
You wouldn’t rather rich it?
I left the typo for your benefit.
Gin and tonic
Just finished a big cup of Joe. Sure it’s hot outside ( 90F) but cool inside at 70 F.
Cool/cold air settles so it will be 75 upstairs, where the thermostat is but much cooler downstairs. In winter it’ll be warmer upstairs as well, for the same reason.
72 here. 93 outside. OM and I have been known to turn the AC way down so we could open a bottle of port in the summer.
I just got to my Palatial Hotel Suite in the (216) for the week. These savages have no idea what good beer is, so I have to import my own Milwaukee’s Best Light.
Thats what I’m drinking. And since Jugsy and I had a huge fight before I left, I’m pouring them down as fast as I can.
I was just gonna say. Maybe I’ll have one myself.
Chateau le Sinque. On ice.
You need to re hydrate after … barf … Robbinz ‘n da Hoodz.
Not the most subtle of foreshadowing…but certainly borne out. You were wise to stop when you did.
Seconded.
I grew less charitable as the runtime went on. I’m not sure when I changed the Genre.
Saw some post flaming Lindsey as gay and calling him a hypocrite for voting against gay ‘rights’ like marriage.
I pointed out that you can call him whatever you want. He was no hypocrite. He opposed gay marriage for everyone. Even himself.
And he lived by those rules. At least, AFAIK, he wasn’t cavorting around with all kinds of fast women.
So he chased the short bus?
Lindsey wasn’t gay because he seemed to have a thing for trans women. And trans women are women. The left has assured me of this.
have a thing for trans women.
I DO NOT wish to know how your are aware of any of this data.
Have you ever heard of Lady G and his “ladybugs?” You want to know. I know you want to know.
You need to know. Go ahead. Google it.
He was first with Graham…
Look, it was dark times. A Firster’s gotta eat.
Graham crackers?
Since Evan mentioned Greta’s sister but failed to provide a link, I enacted my own labour. I’m sure she’s bat-shit insane, but wood.
And she looks less downs-y than her sibling.
https://www.instagram.com/beatamonalisa/?hl=en
https://nypost.com/2026/07/12/lifestyle/meet-greta-thunbergs-younger-pop-star-sister/
A lot of times the sibling to people like that becomes remarkably more sane just by watching that shit play out. I’m sure she was an afterthought to the parents at all times and probably had a bit of resentment. If she supported that shit, I’m going to guess the response Evan quoted her as giving would have been a bit different. And Greta probably barely deigns to address her sister’s existence because she strikes me as a particularly stingy and rotten sort of true believer. Her righteousness is preordained type.
But yea, we all Googled that shit out of curiosity. Has a “Ms. Piggy” thing going on in my opinion. She can look good. At certain angles and with the right make-up and filters.
How did you miss Greta Thunberg’s Sister Beata MonaLisa Does The Splits?
It’s like they chopped off Greta’s tits and gave all the fat tissue to the sister.
Does Greta say anything about climate change anymore? I thought she’d moved on completely to Muh Palestinians.
“When I sing, straight men’s fragile masculinity is exposed.”
But her own, special, kind of fucking retarded.
Apparently no more remarkably sane[er] than her sibling, just a different type of insanity.
Downs is in the genes; or it could be nurture, hard to tell in this case.
To be fair, all “western” children are raised to believe that crap now.
But her own, special, kind of fucking retarded.
“Them titties ain’t retarded” – Dave Attel (I think)
I was gonna repost this w link now you’re here. She’s… oh, she’s got something. She’s certainly better than her sister, and they both kinda obviously have fucked up parents. Gotta say, I love her Frederick Douglas approach to others.
“Beata MonaLisa, AKA Bea, (yes, that’s her real name: “I was born with it. It’s from my grandma Mona and great grandma Lisa,” she explained to the outlet) proved she’s not living in the shadows of her older, by three years, sister, who’s known for challenging the government with her strong opinions on climate change and societal issues.
—
To address the activist elephant in the room, when asked about her headline-making sibling, she cooly turned down the question, responding, “I’m not responsible for other people’s lives.”’
Q approved.
Protip- do not fuck with them.
Massive bull bison tosses Yellowstone tourist into the air like a ragdoll in shocking attack
I get my Bison from the butcher’s. I do not try to pick it up from the wholesaler.
“Asshole tourist tried to steal my soul with a photograph”
Did drugs fall out his ass?
Once he hit the ground.
OFFS.
Anyone want a hearse?
I was hoping for an ECTO-1 replica, not something that got hit by an Opium Den.
From the sidebar. I like it.
https://carsandbids.com/auctions/3BgDy8qE/2007-mercedes-benz-e63-amg-wagon-6-speed-manual-swap
Mrs. Dean had a 2008 E63 sedan. What a machine. She would love to have the station wagon, in manual even. I’ll wait for the auction to close to show her that one.
For some reason Ive always liked wagons. Thats pretty.
Some day when I have enough disposable income Ill track down my dream- 90’s Volvo 850 wagon T-5 R.
That’s not bad.
Of all the JDM market vehicles, why?
And of all the cars to not select a manual for this would be one.
It’s a Crown! Taxi to the afterlife.
Dr. Otto – from previous thread re: Blackjack.
I learned something today. Apparently this is known Blackjack variation that’s been around awhile. The variation *should* be the house will cover the cost of the split, but if the dealer ‘busts’ with 22 – only 22 – it’s a push. 23+ is the standard rule. I haven’t run the statistics myself, but it seems this could be a player advantage, depending on other factors, but it’s not obvious what the actual result is. Other than the fact that essentially ALL ‘modified’ black jack rules are designed to decrease the very slim advantages for the player in the base game.
The internet says it’s a house advantage but shifts towards player advantage with increasing number of decks in play. And the internet is always right.
Engaging with a leftist on Reddit is like a nightmare. You shut one up and then like a pack of locusts ten more appear. It just doesn’t end and each one comes with the same dumb talking points you just refuted.
Ro Khanna is trying to make political hay out of going to territory Israel has colonized and getting himself detained. First by settlers, then by the IDF itself.
It’s like the shit he did with ICE, only far stupider.
His constituents are so lucky to have someone stunning and brave enough to stand up for the real needs of – checks notes – Santa Clara County?
He’d actually get my respect if he got into a shootout with the settlers. A more retarded John Brown for the modern age.
Silicon Valley has a couple of homeless.
Revoke and deport is the solution to the curry commies. He’s already left the country, halfway there.
Revoke, Deport, and drop over the ocean somewhere.
“The other mother who advocates for such is framed as a villain, but she’s not unreasonable in asking Bowgirl’s parents to, you know, enforce discipline of their minor child.”
Sounds like the principal in Ferris Bueller.
“Obviously Evil Realtor is actually a property developer…” (Now, you’re splitting hairs.)
Realtors are agents who sell properties either for their client or to their client, but are not themselves the owner at any point in the process.
Developers buy properties and build something to sell.
I know. I’m in the biz.
Well, starting tomorrow you are.
Slutty Sunday rolls on.
https://archive.is/rKxY0
G-d fat-fingered the “smite” button.
https://nypost.com/2026/07/12/world-news/terrifying-video-shows-woman-narrowly-escape-death-as-speeding-truck-plows-into-suv-next-to-her/
Trunk Kun was drunk and failed to Isekai?
Mitch McConnell released a statement.
So did his wife 4 days ago which was equally hysterical.
https://www.wlky.com/article/elaine-chao-mitch-mcconnell-health-statement/71858467
Paywall turn off JS.
https://www.cnn.com/2026/07/12/politics/mitch-mcconnell-hospital-announcement
Naturally he reads a dead tree newspaper. Does anybody recognize the photo and can they place the date of the photo?
It’s totally normal to continue a trip overseas when your spouse gets taken by ambulance to the hospital. Which is a minor medical issue. Call the paramedics all the time. Last one was for a hang nail.
When you are of Taiwanese descent and visiting the PRC it’s even more normal to continue the trip under those circumstances.
Remember, Jill Biden thought it was a valid defense to say she thought her husband was stroking out on live TV, yet stood there and did nothing.
She just wants the life insurance money.
Cuck.
https://nypost.com/2026/05/26/lifestyle/meet-the-couple-in-a-one-sided-open-marriage/
Mono-Poly?
Go to sleep, go directly to sleep. Do not pass Go, do not fuck your wife.
Got my W4 and other related paperwork outta the way. Tomorrow will be an interesting day. Meijer was out of my usual Cobb salad, so chicken Caesar at my desk it shall be. (Note to self: Don’t forget your ‘special’ salt. Ya never know.)
Many new opportunities flowing through the Glibertariat. Behind all these, twisted (yet, benevolent?) machinations, perhaps lies UCS, breaking in his Synchronistic Timing Gloves, able to take credit for all positive events in his radius while wielding their power.
(No clue how he got his mitts on ’em. Maybe the display briefly radiated out successful Dexterity and Proficiency rolls.)
Not Robin and the Seven Hoods?
I think it is also in the slop genre.
Toxic masculinity.
https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/breaking-two-men-died-after-37421962