cartoon medley #6
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Derpetologist
The world's foremost authority on the science of stupidity, Professor Emeritus at Derpskatonic University, Editor of the Journal of Pure and Theoretical Derp,
Chancellor of the Royal Derp Society, and Senior Fellow at The Dipshit Doodlebug Institute for Advanced Idiocy
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He look, it’s Alanis Morissette!
Jagged Little Pill is the 13th largest selling album of all time.
RIP Dave Coulier
Rightly so.
You mean Bob Saget. Dave is, AFAIK, not dead yet.
These are accurate images depicting rather sad truths of people and societies.
The guy listening to the droning-on is really thinking about the volcano to get himself through it.
The singer’s upset her work wasn’t *really* loved, but people just liked her cutie look in that black sweater.
Pretty good day for the wheel man. The mouse w/o glasses looks worried though…
I really hate powerful Islamic ‘leaders.’ Hopefully the happy Americans are about to bomb him.
1,2 &5 – no idea.
3 – She’s sad and writes a hit song and that makes her angry?
4 – Empty platitudes please the redneck* more than long-winded explanations, however the empty platitudes are just as likely to be as correct as the Long winded expositions. So the redneck isn’t necessarily wrong as the comic implies.
* also you shouldn’t disparage rednecks, salt of the earth if you didn’t know.
I saw #2 as a Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy reference.
Could be, It’s been a while since I read the series, I’ve probably forgotten more of it than I remember. I’d re-read it but I have a strict rule about re-reading thing while there are still thing I haven’t read at least once. Also the few times I broke that rule to revisit some old favorites of mine…they didn’t live up to my memory, looking at you Kurt Vonnegut Jr. and Piers Anthony.
Don’t panic.
I immediately saw “rat race”. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
1 is based on a joke I heard in the Army which goes like “saying ‘I deployed’ often means ‘I played X-box in Kuwait for 9 months.” This I juxtaposed with the locals who really are “deployed” and “outside the wire”.
2 is my take on the rat race.
3 was my attempt to recreate a Taylor Swift cartoon I’ve been unable to relocate. She starts out sad, writes a song, gets money, gets angry so writes another song, etc. The last panel of it shows her angry on top of a pile of money.
4 I try to use different characters, and the redneck is sort of my go-to for an everyman average joe.
5 Tomorrow is always another day, and it might suck royally.
alternate cartoons
https://platedlizard.blogspot.com/2026/07/kinship.html
https://platedlizard.blogspot.com/2026/06/torment.html
The Mime one is pretty good.
Redneck is offensive to us briars, pilgrim.
I played Diablo in Iraq thank you very much.
Early drones used XBox controllers for a reason.
1 – Drone warfare feels like a video game to the US soldierboys, while it’s more real for the targets.
2 – Play on the “rat race.” In the same way we study rat behavior, they might just as well see our lives and our striving as equally silly and primitive.
5 – Even if worse comes to worst, the world will go on, with or without you.
Riffing on the “tortured artist” trope. Songwriters who achieve fame and success rarely change their lyricism to reflect their material conditions, and sometimes increase their performative angst to maintain their image (Cobain, Springstein, et al).
Well damn, that’s what I get for not refreshing.
I dunno about Springsteen, who has kept up his Working Class Hero schtick for fifty years, but Cobain went from writing dopey lyrics for mopey teens to becoming the most famous ceiling painter this side of Michelangelo.
I’ll say it: After the initial splash where Nirvana was literally everywhere, even the goth clubs my circle attended, wore off, I could not tolerate their music and to this day, don’t like.
Their peers and hangers-on were almost all superior in ways that matter to me.
The entire grunge movement actually sucked, if you ask me. The ’80s alt rock that birthed it (Husker Du, Pixies, et al) and the ’90s post-grunge that shed the performative anti-commercialism (Cracker, Everclear) both produced better tunes.
ITA Pat wrt both forerunners and successors.
There are maybe two or three tunes from that initial “grunge” splooge I like.
…
And a wikipedia vortex somehow led to this kid’s tune which I find very promising. It’s derivative of older styles but I likee.
Counterpoint:
Soundgarden
JFC I hated “Spoonman” so much.
Really, one of the very few tracks that I can link to that sort-of time and place and which is still in my frequent rotation is this one. I adore it so much.
Nirvana and Cobain really were great. Unplugged is especially revealing. Everclear’s troubling. So Much For the Afterglow is a phenomenal album. He’s a really good lyricist and storyteller. They are NOT good musicians. Most annoying drummer in the world, literally quarter notes on the snare is every single drum fill in every single song. Maddening.
But they’re really good songs, still. Which is cool. Their album before that, I don’t remember as well but it’s a rougher (cheaper) debut. Some quite good on that as well, IIRC.
Were I older, I imagine I’d fit right in with the Pixies.
OTOH I did appreciate Chris Cornell always cavorting around stage shirtless so there is that I guess.
I remember “Santa Monica” the most.
They are so, so tied to their time and place. My god, it’s unlistenable to me now.
I love/hate the Pixies. I was there, and it was totally my time & place and I get all the exuberant accolades but… I just don’t listen to them anymore. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Early Soundgarden was fantastic. See Rusty Cage and Jesus Christ Pose. Late Soundgarden was terrible
See Spoonman and Black Hole Sun.
“Father of Mine” is a fucking stellar song. To give high (but unpopular ’round here) praise, it’s early 60s Dylan, “Oxford Town” good. ‘Buy you a new Life,’ similar.
Especially the drumming, it is painful to listen to. But very, very well crafted songs, often with a point, delivered well.
Badmotorfinger and later were fantastic.
King Animal is amazing.
“Play on the “rat race.” In the same way we study rat behavior, they might just as well see our lives and our striving as equally silly and primitive.”
——–
Bingo, bangle, bungle
I’m so happy in the jungle!
I went to Lollapalooza in 1992 (second year) and it had this newish band in the lineup that I didn’t really know – Pearl Jam. Evenflow ecame a monster hit as they were touring, I believe.
The lineup was something of a murderers row at the time:
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Ministry
Ice Cube
Soundgarden
The Jesus and Mary Chain
Pearl Jam
Lush
4.: Soundbites good, explanations bad.
OT LOL
Complete opposite of what the other flunky was just saying the other day.
The three-ring circus administration in action.
Then the shelves will, of course, be clean out by the bodega owners.
I’m going to speculate that not one of them will actually open. But a lot of money will be thrown at the nomenklatura along the way.
High speed deliveries from CA when the railroad gets finished
And to ensure greater efficiency and fairness, there will special lines for certain items, like bread.
Soviet joke
A bunch of people are in a breadline. A guy comes out of the store and says “we don’t have enough for everyone, so all you Jews go home.” So all the Jews leave. Half an hour later, same guy comes out again “we still don’t have enough, so all you Ukrainians go home.” So all the Ukrainians leave. Then the guy comes out one more time and says “we’re completely out of bread, everyone else go home.” As the rest leave, one says to another “fucking Jews have it so easy!”
That is hilarious. I think you are right they won’t open but that’s because of the administration’s incompetence. Think of it as NYC’s version of high speed rail.
Well, last Wednesday’s meeting with Boss-Boss was portentous. Slow work on Thurs and Fri, not helping me put my new, ‘refined’ method to use. Today, we were all quite slow. I did get a few Agent Send Outs to do, and they went well, though my Immediate Manager still checked my work and was in charge of the emails afterward.
I was pulled aside at ~3pm and told that today was going to be my last day. Friday is my first full paycheck, hours already accrued. They’re gonna send me off with an extra two-weeks pay. Kinda my ‘severance package,’ I s’pose.
Well. I gave it my best shot. I’m not really sure how my mental wiring didn’t ‘let’ the Legos of this work click in. Disappointed with myself, I suppose, but more dispirited, in general. However, like that volcano, tomorrow will still come. Especially considering what folk like Necron and his sister are going (or went) through, this asteroid isn’t the biggest of impacts. Always look on the bright side of life, indeed. Unless you’re in a direct physical confrontation, getting angry at the situation simply doesn’t do any good. It’s a childish, shovel of an emotion, only digs deeper into the shit you’re trying to get out of.
Awkwardly timed with my piece out tomorrow evening, which I finished after my first week as an escrow processor, and the upbeat post even dovetails into my (then) new work. For all y’all, particularly Necron and his current health battle, and for folk like Derp and me, onward, upward and always.
Cubs were down 3-0 after five pitches, now we’ve got the lead after four wild innings. Things rarely go to plan, and that can be okay. I’ve got some time to reprocess and reevaluate before I take my next step. (Those small, first ones are biggest.)
Sorry to hear it, Ev. The extra two weeks was a kindness – they liked you, it just wasn’t working out.
Onward and upward.
They were remarkably kind. Those were the baby steps, too Other New Guy was watching some training video getting him into something quite different. I’m sure that was another rung under another rung of all the shit we’d eventually have to do. In addition to phone calls coming in, which we didn’t have to do, yet. All that added up? I likely would’ve run against some other wall of one shape or another.
Well. I gave it an honest shot. I find it odd I was never able to cleanly put it all together. No single step was difficult. Sometimes bits are tricky to find, but even then ya can ‘?’ the work note to let others know the info isn’t present. Well. That gets me into the “dispirited” zone:
I had a profound moment a few years ago, working simple math and getting ‘lost,’ and I became aware my thinking was going ’round in circles, forgetting what I was looking for while I was along the way to finding it in my mind. Realizing it, knowing you’re actively lost inside your own mind is ℎ𝑎𝑢𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔.
I’m glad I haven’t been back to that fog in a ‘long’ time. This difficulty doesn’t stem from that, IMO; it feels more like a personality /’way I naturally learn’ distinction, but I think pre- Skulltris Ev would’ve put the puzzle pieces together easier. Easier to add to.
But, again. I gave it a shot. Glad I did and made a SHOCKING (to me) amount of $$ during that time. (And two week$?! DAMN.) They had kind words to say, and the Pres, whom I cold-emailed and impressed to get the gig. I’m going to send him a sincere message of appreciation. He likes me, and I’m gonna send him tomorrow’s piece where I do mention the title company, though not by name (duh).
I’ve shown the pics to Other New Guy and my Imm. Manager (if she opened it), so not all new. Pretty much? I want it set in stone for them how I wasn’t ever slacking, or just dim, or lazy or whatever. Especially as “disability” can mean right the fuck-off -everything now. Honestly? I think he’d be further impressed. Certainly will be a nice note to honestly thank him for taking a shot on me. Can’t hurt to know a local businessman who looks kindly on you.
More subliminal? Well, open now: I’d rather they be flabbergastingly impressed with how capable I *am,* considering, rather than just a young man who wasn’t as good as he kinda successfully sold himself to be. (I concede I’m not good at learning puzzles quickly, but I never was, methinks.)
Much easier said than done, especially if you’re very self-critical, but try not to take it personally. Not being the right fit for a particular job isn’t an indictment of your character or abilities, and especially considering the circumstances you’re coming from.
I certainly don’t take their cutting me personally. To be fair and use the term parents sometimes accurately get to wield, I’m 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑑 in myself. Not even that, really. Disappointed this really good find didn’t work out.
Still, yeah. I gave it a shot. Made about as much in three weeks as I did in five in the test grading contract. Add in an extra two weeks on top? Woah. So I can take the month of July, 2026 as a damn solid financial month.
That Iron Rule, ya always find more of what you’re looking for? Look for smiley faces. There’s always one or two.
Good on you for making a real effort, and even better leaving graciously. That makes an impact. I got laid off from a job I held for twenty years due to company cutbacks and called the VP (at the time) directly to thank her for the time I spent with the company. They might come up with another role at some point and say “That Evan guy might be a good fit here.”
That’s a drag. You’ll be fine.
🙁
Damn
Sorry to hear this, E
I collected these from a cartoon generator that pairs random Nietzsche quotes with The Family Circus.
https://platedlizard.blogspot.com/2025/08/illustrated-nietzsche-quotes.html
I remember those were very popular ca. 2000. A buddy and me had one or two posted on our cube walls.
Those are amazing.
“Three people were killed and four were wounded Sunday evening during a shooting at a food festival at the Seattle Center, a short distance from the city’s iconic Space Needle, police said.
One of the wounded was a 2-year-old toddler, and 𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐧 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐭 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫.”
Why would they believe the incident began *after* the two parties started shooting?
(Asst, Police Chief said at least one other suspect remains at large.) “We’re still trying to figure this out.” … “Police urged citizens to “please avoid the area” and did not immediately provide conditions for any of the victims.”
No names or other information on suspect or victims. Which guess more likely: Gang activity spilled over, or a ‘extreme’ Islamist who wanted to (successfully) stop people having fun? (‘Both’ wouldn’t surprise me.)
Fire the police chief!
He was/resigned.
That was dropped like a hot rock as soon as we hear that it wasn’t some lone redneck.
All the top google results are exactly 7 days old.
You’re not kidding.
I did spot the pic of one arrestee – no details provided beyond “heavyset with big hair”.
Sad. There is a ’77 BMW 633 csi for sale locally, but some asshole dropped a Chevy 350 in it.
Also: https://youtube.com/shorts/aAc3Kq0bFPs?si=tt8t6xIOb20lf8iV
I didn’t know their SCOTUS bit:
“Spain’s Interior Ministry, meanwhile, estimated that about 50,000 migrants had crossed the border – but in a stunning reversal by 6 p.m. Friday, 48,300 had already returned home. Fifty-seven people died during the massive migration, including some who drowned and others who were trampled in a stampede while trying to cross fences near the Tarajal beach.
The shocking surge came after a ruling by Spain’s Supreme Court earlier this month, which said migrants intercepted at sea while attempting to reach Ceuta or Melilla, another Spanish autonomous city in northern Morocco, cannot be immediately deported.”
—
Spain says “Hold my beer.” Sorry, Madrid. I hope, though don’t eagerly anticipate, you and the rest of Europe realize ya gotta end this shit. I lived in Freiburg, De in 2008. Germany had a long-term deal with Turks going to the 70s, and with similar shit elsewhere, and more being proposed, there was real talk about how this was going to flood their system and be a net negative to their whisper fairy unicorn dreams.
As I’ve said, a Big Event is ‘needed’ to finally tip the scale. Likely several, or in clear coordination. Predictable madness. (It really disgusts me that I like people as people, but the blatant burning, stealing, looting, shitting everywhere etc, of these semi pre-industrialized and educated cultures are fucking disgusting. Nasty, violent, shit-stormers who bring nothing positive to the table.
If they can’t be immediately deported – shoot them.
I lived near Madrid in the late ’60s, that shit didn’t play when Franco was running things.
I don’t think it will stop until they start sinking boats at sea.
There was a Turkish-German girl in my 10th grade class in Würzburg. She was thoroughly German, if exotic looking. (Bit of a smokeshow, for those who might notice such things.) She even took us one day to a hangout with her family and friends. Total Gemütlichkeit.
The fact is, Germans got conned here. They expected that the hordes Merkel invited would be just like the nice friendly more-or-less secular Gastarbeiter their parents grew up with.
They’re not. Especially since most of them were Syrians and the like – very, very different creatures.
*swoons over smokeshow memories over there*
“Germans got conned here.” They really did. And so willingly. A generation+ of Germans desperate to do the opposite of everything their parents and grandparents did before them. I can see that being a normal reaction, in our social primate way, of rebelling against actual Nazis. And.. I can also see how easily that ‘inner turmoil’ would be for outsiders to ‘infiltrate’ and slip their tentacles into.
Great doners, tho. Damn. (Same-same, world over, eh?)
PS. One of my half-baked theories on how fifties Germany accepted so many Tükiyeyians is that both languages feature the letters ö and ü and with the same* pronunciations.
*not in all circumstances but close enough.
Maybe? That shit was not a “thing” in my time and place there and I find lamb disgusting so I would probably not have tried anyway.
I think you’re overanalyzing it. It’s really just a march through the institutions effect. The same suicidal empathy (thanks, Gad!) is happening in every “western” country including the United States.
I meant rebellious teens in the 60s having their cultural flower movement, inviting in Turks etc because that’d be what the Nazis, their parents, *wouldn’t* have done. (Even if their parents weren’t Nazis, they were still parents.) I am ‘over analyzing’ in a way, but just spitballin’ thoughts.
They wanted cheap labor. Of Islamic states, Turkey’s at least (on its face) the most ‘reasonable,’ then and now. I strongly approve of exotic flesh, in particular the Middle Eastern to Indian variety. (Not really, I s’pose. I technically had one white girlfriend, didn’t last long, and a lot of that was me being used. Um. I did not mind the manner in which this tool was used.)
I watched a Turkish Netflix show. It struck my wife and I just how much Turkish sounded like German.
Immigration when there are barriers to entry that can be overcome by personal effort, and rewards for assimilation selects for determined people who want to assimilate. Mass migration without the barriers and assimilation rewards gets you something else. This should be pretty obvious, but we spent the past 75 years convincing ourselves that discrimination is evil, and so we no longer have the capacity for judgment.
And yet our secular humanist technological-industrial society lacks either the power, the will, or both, to preserve itself, even to the extent of largely effectuating its own demise. As such it deserves its fate.
It didn’t used to – in fact, quite the opposite. But decades of ignoring vicious manipulations from the elite centers of power went unheeded and here we are.
Thanks, Mr. Cheery-Poo. (What our culture has become) does deserve it. But I don’t want it in MY lifetime or that of my nephews! (After that? *shrug* Chips fall. Not my game no more.) I think it’s clear Europe will be taken first, if drastic, drastic measures aren’t taken. (They won’t be.) What would the US do? Bomb France once its overtaken? (Maybe Israel would?)
ignoringwarnings aboutExcuse me, I’m drunk on whiskey sours.
Random LOL…
Among the many ways my town is so backwards is the old bus station closed because the proprietors retired about a decade ago. Now the buses stop in front of my apartment – convenient but noisy and belchy. The proposed new site of a bus station was a parking garage that suddenly closed a few months ago because chunks of concrete started falling off it.
It is just one thing after another here LOL.
Reason is running some article on a guy from Chicago suing ICE. Why? He’s a white guy who allowed a bunch of Hispanics who fled from them into his home. And now they’re arguing that they didn’t have a warrant of any kind so it’s obviously just.
The Supreme Court has long held that fleeing unprovoked from the police is reasonable suspicion to pursue and detain. Allowing the people fleeing into your home would naturally follow as grounds to enter and probably get you hit with any number of crimes though I don’t know what specifically the Feds have to throw at them.
They really are just so utterly embarrassing to the idea of libertarianism. If there ever was an actual libertarian moment, it’s long dead. And killed by clowns like them. Now the average young conservative you come across refers to the idea lolbertarianism. The LP isn’t even as big of a joke as Reason has become.
I’ll correct myself. The guy was having work done on his home by these illegals. Was away on vacation himself and saw this happen on his Ring doorcam.
The workers were seemingly off the property when ICE saw them. They bolted instantly, with 3 of 4 going onto the property. Guy was trying to order them to stop because it’s his property. The agents didn’t even *enter* his house though two of the workers did while they detained another in his garage.
As Reason notes, ICE has already been given a pretty free hand to go after the browns they come across in this sort of situation. Past precedent clearly allows law enforcement to pursue anyone fleeing unprovoked regardless of whether they know of any crime before.
Arrest the homeowner for employing illegals?
Deport them all.
There’s a long established (and quite reasonable) exception for “hot pursuit”, as well.
#1 that’s not a real muslim because he’s not beating his wife.
Mimes are funny because they are silly.
Oh yeah… Sixty-ninth.
Hey Glibs! Happy national chocolate chip cookie day!
😄🍪🥛
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0SbxNQYblY0
🎶🎶
I weighed in at 281 again today, I’m not eating any cookies.
Come on, a sleeve or two of Chips Ahoy won’t kill you.
💀
Good morning, Sean and U!
Morning, GT.
How goes?
Ninja Cat is being a pain in the butt demanding attention, but other than that, okay. How are you?
I want to get out of the house, but it’s a remote day and I didn’t wake up with enough time to go anywhere before work.
I have to cook something for breakfast.
Bacon?? 😃😋👍🥓🥓🥓
😥
I’m out of bacon. My choices are sausage or different sausage
Different sausage. You could do a lot worse. ::looks down at overnight oats::
The downside is – I’m not sure if the sausages have been allowed to sit in the fridge too long. We’ll see if they pass the smell test.
Charcuterie board!
I’m out of cheese
😭
Boiled egg is my breakfast.
Morning. More Covid shenanigans.
Why Bessent Is Leaning on the Fed to Help Prop Up Japan’s Currency
https://www.wsj.com/economy/central-banking/why-bessent-is-leaning-on-the-fed-to-help-prop-up-japans-currency-85794909?st=oJComW&reflink=desktopwebshare_permalink
the WSJ doesn’t load for me – what’s their assertion?
A little-used Federal Reserve backstop built for the 2020 dollar shortage is being put to a use it was never designed for: bankrolling Japan’s defense of the yen. Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent wants the backstop made bigger.
Japan said Monday it planned to draw on the facility, a day after Bessent publicly encouraged the Fed to expand it. The arrangement would let Tokyo raise dollars to halt the yen’s slide without selling the U.S. government debt that would otherwise pay for it.
At issue is a lending program created when the Treasury market faced severe strains at the onset of the Covid pandemic. Banks and companies outside the U.S. that had borrowed heavily in dollars found that funding drying up and turned to their own central banks for help. Those without access to the Fed’s dollar-lending network for close allies had one obvious source: selling Treasurys into a market that was already struggling to absorb them. The Fed facility let them borrow dollars against those holdings instead.
🤔
Dissolve the federal reserve.
Dissolve them in which acid?
All of them?
In today’s Connections, the top row are all things Alanis Morissette is doing with her other hand. It is not one of the connections.
I didn’t notice that, good eye.
In unrelated to anything news, my bacon is crispy, onion and tomato are sliced, now I just need to toast some bread and fry an egg and decide on which of the many, many cheeses I have I will put on my breakfast sammich.
Methinks you doth protest too much.
I am now convinced your fridge is barren.
I almost forgot the Banana Peppers, that was a close one.
The purple connection was the most obvious one to me which once again meant no purple first.
Good morning!
Morning. Starting early today.