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Hmmm

by | Aug 27, 2026 | I Am Lame | 82 comments

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*stops in and looks around*

Steve Smith: I swear it wasn’t my job this afternoon.

Trouble in paradise

Paradise in the South Pacific

Paradise in the Caribbean

Neph’s paradise

And, of course

About The Author

Raven Nation

Raven Nation

82 Comments

  2. The Other Kevin
    The Other Kevin on August 27, 2026 at 4:31 pm

    Trouble in paradise

    She hasn’t put out an album in a while, time to write some new songs.

    • Threedoor
      Threedoor on August 27, 2026 at 7:24 pm

      About a breakup.

  4. Pat
    Pat on August 27, 2026 at 4:34 pm

    However, they have to step out of the newlywed bubble and get back to their normal lives. It seems Swift has already done so, as the source revealed she’s been “pouring herself into writing new music and is incredibly inspired creatively.”

    So, she placed calls to Max Martin and Jack Antonoff?

    Also, I missed that she had tied the knot. The post-divorce stronk wamen album will undoubtedly be stunning and brave.

    • R C Dean
      R C Dean on August 27, 2026 at 4:52 pm

      The clock is winding down on her ovaries. I expect Mr. Swift wants some babies out of the deal.

  5. UnCivilServant
    UnCivilServant on August 27, 2026 at 4:34 pm

    What about the “Pair a’ Dice” casino?

    • Fourscore
      Fourscore on August 27, 2026 at 5:26 pm

      Pair O’ Dice was what I had hanging from the mirror of my ’66 Mustang convert.

      All the cool kids plus me…

  6. Pat
    Pat on August 27, 2026 at 4:38 pm

    This cocktail is prepared using gin, apricot brandy, and orange juice in a 2:1:1 ratio, with a splash of lemon juice.

    I hate apricots, but I’d try one if we swapped to a regular brandy. I like apple brandy, but I can’t see that going well with gin and orange juice.

    • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!
      ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE! on August 27, 2026 at 6:24 pm

      Missed that one, but I got to go to the Expo ’74 in Spokane!

      • Pat
        Pat on August 27, 2026 at 6:33 pm

        My parents were there. The pavilion remained in Riverfront Park at least until I departed in ’05. It’s insane how much that city deteriorated in the last 20 years.

      • Threedoor
        Threedoor on August 27, 2026 at 7:26 pm

        The pavilion is nicer now.

        The rest of Spocompton. Not so much.

  8. Evan from Evansville
    Evan from Evansville on August 27, 2026 at 4:41 pm

    I can think of a few paradise spots in the South Pacific. Funny, one of few spots I never got in any sort of trouble in. (Oh. I was thinking legal or professional trouble. That one thing did happen there that one time.)

    The Essential Meatloaf. Huh. Meatloaf is just fine, I s’pose, but they need better marketing. The food sounds worse than the stage name, and I don’t believe I’ve ever (knowingly) heard his music. Oh, Bat Out of Hell. I do know he sold a fuckton of albums, hope for the aesthetically challenged among us. (I’m just ‘as’ cute as my bro, but unlike him, I get the yips getting my pic taken, cuz it’s such a bizarre ritual others crave and soak in. His photogenic gift is kinda creepy. Eh. Middling amount of jealousy.)

  9. Sensei
    Sensei on August 27, 2026 at 4:42 pm

    No dashboard light?

    • Raven Nation
      Raven Nation on August 27, 2026 at 4:52 pm

      Umm…

      • Sensei
        Sensei on August 27, 2026 at 4:57 pm

        For whatever reason I didn’t see it!

    • Evan from Evansville
      Evan from Evansville on August 27, 2026 at 5:00 pm

      @Sensei: Confessional, perhaps?

    • Mojeaux
      Mojeaux on August 27, 2026 at 5:42 pm

      I’ve still got meatloaf.

  10. Brochettaward
    Brochettaward on August 27, 2026 at 4:42 pm

    Spendin’ most my life
    livin’ in a Firster’s paradise

    • Evan from Evansville
      Evan from Evansville on August 27, 2026 at 5:17 pm

      Are you the oldest of any siblings? Pretty funny if you aren’t. Cuz you weren’t the first ‘person’ *in* that paradise, and ya certainly weren’t the first coming out. And I highly doubt your zygote came from the first firsting of your parental unit. So many 50% loads of you crusting up socks on the highway shoulder.

      (Even then, it’s usually not a paradise. On those special occasions, however, you still weren’t first.)

  11. Brochettaward
    Brochettaward on August 27, 2026 at 4:43 pm

    I’m use to giving my bosses headaches once in a while for being an asshole. I don’t know if I quite know how to take it when they legit laugh because you told their boss to fuck off.

      • Fourscore
        Fourscore on August 27, 2026 at 5:29 pm

        Hard to find milk that isn’t homo and pasteur

      • Threedoor
        Threedoor on August 27, 2026 at 7:27 pm

        You almost got me to open that.

    • Brochettaward
      Brochettaward on August 27, 2026 at 4:56 pm

      I enjoy this aspect of Trumpism thoroughly. For a very long time the US has acted like the rest of the West’s abused and wipped husband. We coddle Europe and Canada and listen to their bullshit and you have the leftie twats here who demand we be more like them and who constantly cite their opinions as if they matter in any fucking way and they aren’t completely reliant on us.

      Throw some weight around. Use the leverage we have. Poke them in the most petty ways at this point for all I care. For every American who had to deal with a smug fucking Canadian who talked as if they were superior.

      On principle I don’t support trade barriers, but it’s completely true that the US has lowered ours more than everyone else. Like with immigration enforcement it’s often more of a one way street.

      • Fourscore
        Fourscore on August 27, 2026 at 5:33 pm

        Tariffs are an admission that you’re not able to compete without a handicap.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!
        ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE! on August 27, 2026 at 6:27 pm

        Well, I hear he is golfer, 4×20.

    • rhywun
      rhywun on August 27, 2026 at 5:55 pm

      My immediate thought was “Not this shit again” but… why the hell not?

      If “Türkiye” and “Beijing” can make the world dance to their tune or else… why not. He is not even demanding other countries change their language.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!
        ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE! on August 27, 2026 at 6:27 pm

        Well, there is that whole Gulfers Paradise down south…

  15. JaimeRoberto feckful & gruntled
    JaimeRoberto feckful & gruntled on August 27, 2026 at 4:48 pm

    No Gangsters’ Paradise?

    • Brochettaward
      Brochettaward on August 27, 2026 at 4:58 pm

      Did you read the fucking comments little bro?

      • rhywun
        rhywun on August 27, 2026 at 5:56 pm

        I rarely click on youtube links so I skipped all of them here. I suspect that one would be there.

    • Evan from Evansville
      Evan from Evansville on August 27, 2026 at 5:23 pm

      “all the poor schmucks who had to work retail between 2011 and 2015”

      Suckers. *clicks link* You miserable, heartless bastard. I’ll be fair to them: They write songs that sound good. (That isn’t easy.) He has a nice voice. They are also… just, blah. I think I recall their early days having at least one or two semi-‘exciting’ songs, but rare. And even then, exciting like racing electric wheelchairs in a grocery store. (Eh. It ain’t NOT exciting.) But obviously, growing up in high school early/uni when they were ‘all the rage’, all the girls were all over it/him non-stop, and it was really annoying.

      I wonder how him and Gwenyth are doin’. I’ve never heard much goofy about him, other than being with her, but she’s a post card for white rich-chick fuckery. (Yes. I looked it up. They broke up in ’25, apparently. No wonder, have I.)

      • Pat
        Pat on August 27, 2026 at 5:34 pm

        About half of Parachutes and half of A Rush of Blood to the Head were good, although neither album has been in my library since high school, or maybe early college. Nothing they’ve done since then has been worth keeping track of. They and Maroon 5 both kind of followed the same career trajectory from basically competent pop rock to bubblegum pop. Yellow is still a banger though.

      • Evan from Evansville
        Evan from Evansville on August 27, 2026 at 5:57 pm

        Rush of Blood has some legit *good* songs. I think Parachutes does, too. Like, really good songs. I just wouldn’t listen to them on my own. They are very popular at both Walmart and Meijer, which has ‘youthed’ their soundtracks. Welcome to feeling slightly older, as I think I am slightly older than you. Thankfully, I don’t think I would’ve dared succumb, but I missed the Barney craze by a couple of years.

        Also unfair for me to love Radiohead and not the other. Both very girly singers, and Yorke is worse than Martin when it comes to social thingies. There’s pro and con nostalgia. (Possibly known as ‘regret.’)

        Back to Walmart, they also played Buddy Holly a Radiohead song *other* than Creep. (There, There, IIRC. Which, *big thumbs up*) So. Sigh.

      • Pat
        Pat on August 27, 2026 at 6:05 pm

        They are very popular at both Walmart and Meijer, which has ‘youthed’ their soundtracks. Welcome to feeling slightly older, as I think I am slightly older than you.

        Only by a matter of months, IIRC. Thanksgiving-ish ’86 is when I made my arrival. That BTS/Coldplay crossover was still getting A LOT of airplay at the Walmart here in Sweetwater when I started doing merchandising there in late ’23.

      • Evan from Evansville
        Evan from Evansville on August 27, 2026 at 6:27 pm

        April of ’87, here. Dammit. I gotta hold doors open for everyone, ’round here! (I bet I’m taller than at least one of ya.)

    • rhywun
      rhywun on August 27, 2026 at 5:58 pm

      I hate that band so, so much.

      I’ve never heard much goofy about him

      He’s a hippie fruitcake leftist. And that’s on top of their horrible music.

    • Beau Knott
      Beau Knott on August 27, 2026 at 6:28 pm

      Don’t mean to derail, but is there going to be another What Are We Reading post sometime?

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!
        ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE! on August 27, 2026 at 6:31 pm

        Yeah, I probably have a bunch I could send in.

    • Ted S.
      Ted S. on August 27, 2026 at 5:35 pm

      That better be Burt Lancaster ogling Susan Sarandon in Atlantic City.

    • Mojeaux
      Mojeaux on August 27, 2026 at 5:46 pm

      Ted’s is correct.

  21. Shpip
    Shpip on August 27, 2026 at 5:08 pm

    Which south Pacific paradise is right for you?

    Easter Island. Like they say, the moai, the merrier.

    • creech
      creech on August 27, 2026 at 5:21 pm

      Wherever one can get leid!

  22. Pat
    Pat on August 27, 2026 at 5:09 pm

    The sanctification of Jason Arday

    Jason Arday is dead and the ‘racist’ mainstream media killed him. That was the message of a vigil in Trafalgar Square last night, as thousands gathered to pay their respects to the disgraced Cambridge professor who tragically took his own life on Friday. It is also untrue.
     
    We must make no bones about saying it. Because in the ‘anti-racist’ canonisation of Arday – whose awful death came after his own untruths, his plagiarism and fabulism were laid bare by the press – we see a kind of derangement that some vainly hoped had been and gone with Peak BLM.
    […]
    The narrative now being forged, both online and off, goes something like this. Arday was a young professor, minding his own business, when the media suddenly decided to take him down. He was accused of plagiarism, then ‘exonerated’. But still they kept on coming, so furious were they that a black man was given a perch at Cambridge.
     
    He has been turned into a spotless figure, martyred by a vicious media. The problem is, this isn’t true. More than 100 passages were found in his PhD, apparently lifted from another’s thesis. He was also credibly accused of falsifying data, of lifting quotes from academic papers and passing them off as original quotes from people he had interviewed.
    […]
    I take no pleasure in repeating all this. But the truth matters.

    • rhywun
      rhywun on August 27, 2026 at 6:10 pm

      The whole sorry affair is a perfect encapsulation of current year – or decade.

      Just unfathomable levels of stupid, lies, and pretense. And like every other topic these days, it neatly divides western humans in half based on those who inhabit reality and those who don’t.

      • Sensei
        Sensei on August 27, 2026 at 6:16 pm

        See Lindsay Clancy. The victim in the tragedy.

      • rhywun
        rhywun on August 27, 2026 at 7:00 pm

        The Arday one is more classic because of the race angle that drives all the weirdos who inhabit a fantasy world.

  23. The Late P Brooks
    The Late P Brooks on August 27, 2026 at 5:12 pm

    The clock is winding down on her ovaries. I expect Mr. Swift wants some babies out of the deal.

    One would hope there were in depth discussions of such things long before now.

  24. kinnath
    kinnath on August 27, 2026 at 5:43 pm

    they break up just to make up . . . . . .

  25. The Late P Brooks
    The Late P Brooks on August 27, 2026 at 5:45 pm

    Tariffs are an admission that you’re not able to compete without a handicap.

    The UAW needs tariffs on the southern states.

    • Evan from Evansville
      Evan from Evansville on August 27, 2026 at 6:06 pm

      That is sweet. Fun movie and song. In my silly imagination, I imagine that’s one of a few days of ‘fun’ they have at work this year.

  28. Sensei
    Sensei on August 27, 2026 at 6:26 pm

    He also pointed out that his client had no prior criminal history and that Daga’s alleged crimes were victimless because he had not trafficked the weapons or used them to commit crimes. But Albany County prosecutors frequently convict individuals who possess firearms illegally even when they have not been charged with trafficking guns or committing other crimes.

    It’s less work than going after real criminals. Dude, was an idiot however.

    Jury finds Albany man guilty on all counts in ghost gun case

    • rhywun
      rhywun on August 27, 2026 at 7:04 pm

      They spent years building a case against a guy who did nothing wrong. Excelsior!

    • Threedoor
      Threedoor on August 27, 2026 at 7:36 pm

      A whole 1%.
      I have already lost my ass on Rivian. So yeah whatever.

  30. Evan from Evansville
    Evan from Evansville on August 27, 2026 at 6:42 pm

    TOO LOCAL: MADISON/HANCOCK COUNTIES, Ind. — A lion and a cub may be on the loose somewhere in Hancock or Madison counties.
    —
    A resident reportedly looked out his back window and observed an allegedly 300-pound lioness wearing a blue harness heading southwest. A smaller cub was reportedly alongside the lioness.
    If you spot the lion, call either the Hancock County Sheriff’s Department or the Madison County Sheriff’s Department to report its location.”

    Yep. I’ll get right on that. It isn’t missing from the nearby Exotic Feline Rescue Center I interned at. That pleases me.

  31. Evan from Evansville
    Evan from Evansville on August 27, 2026 at 6:53 pm

    Apparently the cub is 100-150lbs. Yeah. *hand up* I volunteer to NOT fuck w mommy.

  32. R.J.
    R.J. on August 27, 2026 at 6:59 pm

    Tonight! If the WordPress Gods allow, we will watch Space Truckers! I’d tell you to gird your loins, but the main characters are basically in their underwear the whole film.