Good morning one and all to another glorious day!
That’s all I got for today. I’ll leave you with a song and move along with my day.
Monday Morning Links
About The Author
Banjos
Wife of Sloopy, mother to three bright, curious, and highly active growing girls. Perpetually exhausted.
“Trump Says US ‘Only Semi-Negotiating’ With Iran”
More IRGC people need to go meet Allah in hell.
Also, Trump should stop talking shit.
This is like asking the rose not to bloom or the sun not to shine.
We’d have to kill a billion of them for the rest of them to start behaving.
“AOC pushes voters to assess what Francesca Hong is saying now, gloss over her past: ‘Woke 1 was crazy’”
Always focus on what they do. And the fact is this woman is either lying now or lied before, which means she is a liar.
The congresswoman contended that “Woke 1” was driven in part by the COVID-19 pandemic and that some of the discourse at the time was “quite fruitful.” She claimed that the conversation about criminal justice in the present day has changed because of “Woke 1.”
“I think that when we talk about crime today, it’s fundamentally different than the way that we talked about crime in bringing crime down, right?” she said.
“I think that during lockdown, of course, rhetoric in that time is not rhetoric that we would use today.”
Typical. “Our beliefs haven’t changed a bit, just our messaging.”
The woke rhetoric during the lockdown was “your rights are dependent on having the proper political views”. This was made clear when the so-called experts said the George Floyd Mostly Peaceful Protests could go ahead in spite of the lockdowns because it was important to lecture normies on racism.
https://x.com/esrtweet/status/1930739130813890708
https://x.com/JustACineast/status/1930924659362414714
I remember that rant from ESR – good stuff
“DOT Sec. Sean Duffy Makes English a Permanent Requirement for Nation’s Migrant Truckers”
We live in an age where expecting competence and capability requires legislation, because idiots jealous of systems of success just let anyone, no matter how unqualified, do dangerous things.
Speaking English has been a federal requirement for a CDL since July, 1937–89 years.
It doesn’t seem to matter in deep blue states, like here in NJ. My wife got rear-ended by a box truck a few weeks ago, and the guy driving it for the company didn’t speak English. The cops had to call for a Spanish-speaking cop to take his statement on the accident. Which he lied about.
Fue la culpa de essa puta con que choque mi camion!
The feds didn’t take over and create the CDL until 1991
Don’t need a CDL for your average box truck. They are under 26,000 pounds.
A completely arbitrary number.
Also, the CDL should not exist.
FBI Undergoing Sweeping Reforms, Fastest Transformation in Bureau’s History: Director PatelFirings and prosecutions of agents?
According to Dan Bongino, that is happening/coming, and all on the down low, because the objective is to de-Obamafy the institution..
Until a district judge rules that it can’t be done.
To deobamafy the agency you’d need a Corleone housecleaning leaving a stack of corpses behind.
You might be right about what you need UCS. I am just saying what they are saying. I am with you. Hang every one of the these bureaucrats that were hired/promoted during the Obama years.
Sounds good to me.
The FBI has always been corrupt. It was started to gather Intel against America’s leaders to use as blackmail. When has it ever been used for the good of ‘the people’?
Sure, sure…trust the plan. Bongino and Patel
are lying, institutionalist shitbags.
I’ve been hit with the bot screen about every other time, maybe every third time, I refresh the page.
This is getting to be a major pain in the ass.
I have a feeling there’s not much WebDom can do other than beat the shit out of the people at WordPress and salt the grounds of their corporate headquarters.
What’s the donation tier required to make that happen?
And now a comment got eaten because the site didn’t reload after yet another bot check.
Are you using a VPN? Any attempt to obfuscate who you are will trigger the bot check.
No. Just Safari on an iPad.
Stop being a robot!
This is the solution.
::Sad Robot::
…And it ate my reply with a bot.
Switch to Brave or LibreWolf for the moment to help eradicate the bot check ins. Those legion on FireFox and Edge.
Also to answer UnCivil, what would that cost be? At one point leaving WordPress was being considered…
I don’t know.
Yeah, but I don’t have Monocle on Brave.
Neither do I. I can comment though.
I’m getting them on Brave.
Interesting. What system are you running? Windows, Linux or IOS?
Same as Teds, and I am getting bot screened on other websites now, too.
Brave on my Android phone, although it’s mostly when I shut the browser down (without closing tabs) and reopening.
One thi8ng for anyone developing out there. I realized that I get a bot check in on my PC browser version of FireFox, but none on the FireFox version on my iPhone. The difference is that I have uBlock Origin on my PC, and not on my phone. Ad blockers might be causing the bot screen to go into hyperactive mode.
I run Brave with Monocle at home. I recently installed the ProtonVPN. Now I regularly get bot checks.
At work, we run chrome (without monocle) through the corporate firewall. I got the bot check for the first time at work this morning.
Cloudflare “bot protection” (which is what we’re hitting) scores the connections on a variety of factors – if the score is higher than X, it suspects you’re a bot.
VPN exit points add to the score, so using VPN increases the chances.
The polling that Monocle does likely increases the score, especially at the most responsive, 5 second poll period.
There are some things I’ll pursue to help that – adding jitter to the poll period and pausing if the tab isn’t active (although userscripts may do that automatically?). I don’t _think_ there’s a websocket option for WordPress so I can avoid individual connections, but I’ll investigate; I may also be able to play with keepalives so we’re not opening new connections each time (I’m not even sure we _are_ – I’ll have to break out MITMProxy to take a low-level look).
Wife is traveling again this week, so I may have some cycles 😀
I am on macOS, Safari, with AdGuard blocker, no VPN. I get the bot check maybe once a day.
This is good. Documenting it is the first step to overcoming it.
Windows 11, No VPN, uBlock Origin enabled, FireFox = Robot check multiple times a session, including during commenting
Windows 11, No VPN, No uBlock Origin, Brave = No robot checks
Linux Ubuntu, No VPN, uBlock Origin enabled, FireFox = Robot Check maybe twice a day
Linux Ubuntu, No VPN, No uBlock Origin, Brave = No robot checks
IOS, No VPN, No uBlock Origin, FireFox = No Robot Checks
IOS, No VPN, No uBlock Origin, Brave = No Robot Checks, but Brave is a PIA on IOS now.
Windows 10, No VPN, uBlock Origin Disabled, FireFox = one Robot Check (one each from the office and from my house)
I get the distinct impression that a lot of infrastructure-ltype internet platforms and services really don’t want you having any privacy or avoiding their advertising.
IOS, Safari, uBO Lite turned off. Got a bot check when I had to log back in for about the 10th time this morning after turning uBO off.
Mac OS, no VPN, Edge – once so far today. Yesterday – checks at almost every refresh (including multiple rounds of clicking on stoplights, motorcycles, buses, etc.).
I think I pulled a groin muscle at the pistol match yesterday. Gotta be more diligent with the stretching if I’m gonna run with the young kids.
On the plus side – my raw time over 8 stages was up there near the top.
NA – how was the Area 8?
Jackin’ It in San Diego
Pokemon Goon?
Never been to a Dollar Tree, so not sure what the demographic that shops there looks like. Do we know what the gooner identifies as?
I thought Bro lived in Florida?
I would assume Bro lives in Delaware.
If Spanberger actually has presidential ambitions, she’s more delusional than I thought. This is a woman with the charisma of Hillary Clinton and the political intelligence of Kamela Harris – that’s not the winning combination.
“Bu I won in NoVA!”
Prior to that she won a gerrymandered district she didn’t live in.
They tried to get Hillary elected despite her 52% negative rating by getting her to run against Trump..
I love that Bill offered her advice and she was like “nah”
Why would she listen to Bill? She knows she is smarter than that skirt chasing idiot she married all so she could hide her real love was Janet Reno, Chelsey’s dad. GURL POWRR!
“A team of divers came across a 162-year-old bottle of Guinness while exploring a shipwreck off the UK coast – and there’s a possibility the stout could still be drinkable.
Stefan Panis, an underwater photographer from Belgium, was stunned when he discovered the glass bottle in the wreckage of the Mindoro in the English Channel last year.”
https://nypost.com/2026/08/10/world-news/divers-find-162-year-old-guinness-in-shipwreck-and-theres-a-possibility-its-still-drinkable/
WCPGW?
The state thinks the beer belongs to them?
Spain has claimed it out of habit.
Retroactive infantilization
Together, Busch’s perspective and the report’s observations shed light on a decades-long history of sexual abuse at a school that was built for children and teenagers who aspire to be artists but were often unprotected, due to what the report called “gaps in oversight” and a “permissive environment.”
Oh, grow up.
He said/he said.
Take out the magic word “Epstein” and nobody is interested in this story.
“The “most valuable pistol on Earth” — a reputed $42 million Luger that belonged to Adolf Hitler — is at the center of a sensational court battle involving an appliance repair man and a cop in Argentina.
The weapon — described as the “Holy Grail of firearms’’ — was allegedly swiped during a SWAT-style raid by masked officers at repair man Juan Pablo Ruppel’s home in rural Buenos Aires province in 2016….
The make of the gun, a Luger Parabellum .45 calibre No.5, is one of only five 1907 prototypes forged by the late famed Georg Luger — and already so legendary that it was mentioned by Michael Douglas’ character Gordon Gekko in the hit 1987 flick “Wall Street” as “the rarest pistol in the world.’’
Ruppel is suing the Buenos Aires Ministry of Security for compensation for the gun, which was never returned to him after it disappeared while in police custody.”
https://nypost.com/2026/08/09/world-news/adolf-hitlers-42m-luger-the-most-valuable-pistol-on-earth-at-center-of-sensational-court-battle/
Nein millimeter.
So the pistol is actually missing, and may not exist any more.
As everyone knows, firearms have a will. It is possible this pistol has such a strong will that it transformed an aspiring artist into the monster history knows. It is probably best if it is lost forever.
Do you really want intestate firearms?
It was melted down into a man hole cover by peace-loving bureaucrats.
R.J.:
And that’s a solid plot for a C-level horror film.
Buenos Aires?
So it is true!
Oh yeah. Wasn’t Milei going to release secret government paper on it at some point?
“The annual Sturgis Motorcycle Rally is officially underway, with hundreds of thousands of riders descending on the small South Dakota town and surrounding Black Hills regions for the 86th edition of what’s billed as the world’s largest motorcycle rally.
The rally is held annually for 10 days in August and involves races, concerts and group rides and typically draws about 500,000 attendees to Sturgis, population 7,100.”
https://nypost.com/2026/08/09/us-news/sturgis-motorcycle-rally-bringing-thousands-of-bikers/
I was told they all died of covid.
That was another good one. I keep forgetting about all those incidents, there were tons of them.
Looks like the new talking point on the left is “we don’t need to relitigate COVID”. Apparently there is nothing we could learn from that era that would help us in the future. So best not to examine what our government officials did, or how the news media behaved, or the mass psychosis that made so many people crazy.
The report offers a window into the conditions that contributed to the abuse. In many cases, it says, adults were able to have one-on-one interactions with students, while the children at the school had limited communication with their families and were vulnerable due to age, sexual identity and lack of experience. And, it says, some were scared to report what happened to them.
The report includes allegations of sexual abuse by convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein, an alumni and benefactor, and his accomplice Ghislaine Maxwell. NPR reported in February that Epstein met and recruited two young teenagers on the campus. But the allegations go far beyond the disgraced financier, who died in prison in 2019.
Story about sweeping institutional sex abuse turns out to be a story about a single specific incident which was pursued and prosecuted at the time it occurred.
Great journalisming, NPR.
Thing A happened. Therefor all other allegations and insinuations must be true.
I remember “studies” showing that the rally was a superspreader event and killed tens or hundreds of thousands.
And ya know what? None of the academics or public health apparatchiks who drove the panic with their drivel were fired. The worst of the lockdown governors were all re-elected. Fauci, the architect and likely the person most responsible for the pandemic and disastrous response, walks around with the biggest federal pension in history.
I remember how spring break was being derided and how they were going to track the people there and how it spread from there.
**crickets**
It turns out, being outside in the sun is pretty decent prevention.
Why is glibs.com making me solve a captcha?
Because you are a Robot.
I don’t know what that should exclude me from participating here.
Would a robot confuse what and why?
“Click on all squares where the land value tax is a bad idea”
I had to identify bridges, which probably increases land value of nearby properties.
Mine asked me to click on all the images with hookers in them…
And it was pics of congress…
All forms of property tax are a bad idea.
“I have made the decision to start freezing my eggs,” Ocasio-Cortez said.
“I was weighing it for a very long time, and I think that I was saving for it for a very long time.”
Her boyfriend’s favorite sex position isn’t getting the job done?
What a bird brained idea.
It would not surprise me if she learned about it from watching The Mindy Project.
Well I’m sure him getting pegged isn’t gonna do the job, so ya.
Nephew update, for those with long memories, not sure what I last told yall.
1. He got the money from the settlement.
2. He is doing good, but isnt perfect. Will probably never 100% recover.
3. He got married on Saturday. His wife was his girlfriend at the time and was there at the assault.
Fantastic that he is getting married. Sad about the recovery. Recoveries can take forever.
Good news all things considered.
Great news. I feel for the guy, my settlement is still dragging on. Having a good path forward means everything.
He only got paid because the guy really wanted his transfer to Japan and the Marine Corp wouldnt let him leave the country until he paid it off.
I remember “studies” showing that the rally was a superspreader event and killed tens or hundreds of thousands.
I don’t remember a study, but I remember a lot of hysterical shrieking about how everybody insane enough to gather in the unmasked, unvaccinated scooter gang mobs of South Dakota would be committing mass suicide.
https://www.allsides.com/story/coronavirus-controversial-study-estimates-superspreader-sturgis-motorcycle-rally-linked-266000-covid-19-cases
Sounds dangerous, good thing they granted a blanket exception for the Floyd riots.
COVID was an engineered smart virus. It knows when you are bad or good.
I would not be surprised to find people lamented that there weren’t mass deaths from the event.
“I remember “studies” showing that the rally was a superspreader event and killed tens or hundreds of thousands.”
Yes, the Sturgis and any Trump rallies were super spreaders. For some magical reason though, all the rioting after Floyd overdosed to avoid getting arrested yet again and send to the pokey, all those people no longer were spreading the Kung Flu.
Wearing stolen basketball shoes prevents Covid, as does throwing sacrificial molotovs.
“It’s easy to forget it now, but Jan. 6 was fueled by Covid-19 and the sense of disconnection that drove a lot of once-ordinary people to lose their intellect and rationale.”
https://www.salon.com/2026/08/10/maga-has-pandemic-nostalgia/
There is no peak retard.
Thank you for reading Salon so that the rest of us don’t have to.
It also means you don’t have to worry about drugs falling out of your ass. :-p
I have to give her credit for creativity. It must be a lot of work finding someone on the right and coming up with some imaginary “this is how they think” piece every week.
No need to find any. Train up a chat bot with your perceived fantasies and it will answer exactly how you want it to, even down to a random name to attribute to.
WHAT ARE YOU WEARING ON YOUR FEET???
Unless you were at a BLM protest, any of the major stores (to the point churches were holding services within them), or getting ticketed for sitting in your car listening to the sermon alone…
But ya, no rights were taken you fucking twat.
She is proof that the radical left have no shame whatsoever. Lie after lie after lie and no one there will call out any of the obvious bullshit.
when they were asked to obey the same bans and restrictions on large indoor gatherings as everyone else.
Sure, weekly Mass that is REQUIRED by you religion is exactly the same as a dance party. These people have no shame. Or are complete idiots. Probably both.
Or being referred to the FBI for asking questions during school council meetings…
This is part of why I suggested the way to solve the covid problem was to lock down all the TV stations and newspapers on the grounds they weren’t safe for the people running the actual presses or keeping the transmitters running.
Of course, all of this would be shot down on 1A grounds and people would be forced to argue why the 1A protects reporters but not religious observance.
“may be linked to as many as”
See also “created or saved jobs”.
“A 2,100-year-old Roman shipwreck carrying about 500 amphorae has been discovered 3 miles off the coast of Mazara del Vallo in Sicily.
Italy’s cultural heritage police, the Carabinieri, investigated the wreck with the help of divers and underwater cameras after receiving a tip-off from fishers. The vessel was found at a depth of about 46 metres (151ft) and was carrying hundreds of amphorae – ancient two-handled ceramic jars with a narrow neck – thought to have been used mainly to transport wine.”
https://www.theguardian.com/science/2026/aug/10/roman-shipwreck-with-500-amphorae-found-off-coast-of-sicily
After the Guinness runs out?
GT, of course I know about urgent care. Anyone will do at this point. Cabbie will find it.
Rat, good to know about the Clairemont dollar store.
Yusef “use your own computer” Bobbo at least put the bins out on garbage eve. But he is not a nice person.
This house is an unworkable hovel!!
Anyone else swamped with local tv news stories about such-and-such a group handing out free backpacks to kids heading back to school? I swear that every kid in the Philly area is getting one. Must be some magical token that makes up for a lack of teaching the basics, parental involvement, and cultural disdain for “book learning.”
“Most of the children are starving and rely on school breakfast and lunch to survive” is the one I keep seeing over and over.
“We don’t want to single out poor kids so everyone gets free meals.”
Last one I saw had a fat kid wearing newish clothes and brand new Nikes getting one like he was desperately poor.
Appeal to emotion</a<
As sweltering heatwaves increasingly shatter world records and wildfires spread smoke over thousands of miles, it is becoming ever-more apparent that climate change is endangering countless species, including our own. Many of us hoped that such catastrophic weather would shift public attitudes and U.S. government policies, reducing fossil fuel use. But the Trump administration and millions of Americans still refuse to act.
Despite its disastrous effects, recent extreme weather also provides an important teachable moment. We should use it to more fully develop and disseminate effective messages by drawing on commonly shared moral principles and narratives that have meaning to climate change deniers, and improving education about how to address such polarized political debates.
——-
Studies reveal that debunking misinformation with facts fails to alter public opinion, but that targeted, strategic messages designed for particular audiences, reframing the issues in ways that appeal to these groups, can help. Effective messages aimed at conservatives can appeal to national security, moral issues of purity and religious beliefs in stewarding the Earth.
If made up numbers and fabricated facts don’t work, try weepy tales of woe.
They could start by living like they believed it was a crisis.
“Mamdani’s anti-rent housing advisor is nepo-baby of Grammy-winning producer, now she’s getting evicted”
https://thepostmillennial.com/mamdanis-anti-rent-housing-advisor-is-nepo-baby-of-grammy-winning-producer-now-shes-getting-evicted
STIJLTH
Wait, Tater. You surprised?
All these commie cos players are nepo children. Most spent a ton of time and money getting worthless/useless college degrees, and now, in the real world, hate they still have to depend on mommy & daddy because nobody recognizes their genius. These nepo kids with worthless college time are the easiest tools to convince to support/peddle commie shit, because they instinctively know this will hurt the people they hate for being better than them.
OFFS. In NYC the renters have way more power than the landlords in these matters. In the real world you can’t squat for four years on someone else’s property and get called stunning and brave rather than be tossed in jail like she deserves.
I’m not surprised that she’s a nepo baby. I am a little surprised that she’s actually getting kicked out – and after only four years! Isn’t that extremely fast by modern urban standards?
Now that we can steal AOC’s eggs from a freezer, whose sperm do we want to create a race of super retards?
Mark Ruffalo
This wins it.
Super retard alert!!!
*Golf Clap
it’s twue
Aaaand we’re done here.
such-and-such a group handing out free backpacks to kids heading back to school?
Are they transparent so teachers can more easily detect guns or other contraband?
No need for that 4th Amendment hogwash when all the bags are clear…
“Renee Faust, who once marketed herself as Renee Olstead, is deputy campaign manager for Francesca Hong, according to the Daily Wire, citing the Heartland Post.
Faust had TV roles as a child.
After opening her OnlyFans account in 2020, she rose to the heights of being January 2023’s “Penthouse Pet of the Month,” while rising still higher to the rarefied level of being honored as the 2024 “Pet of the Year” in March 2025.
Faust founded the Coalition for American Sex Workers, which is very much in favor of decriminalizing prostitution.”
https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2026/08/dsa-governor-candidate-hires-onlyfans-model-deputy-campaign/
Sure, why not?
What kind of bargain did she make with Hong?
The survey results are telling. I clicked the top one, decriminalize for consenting adults. When I saw the results it was almost entirely “ENFORCE MOAR PENALTIES!!!”
I cannot go to GP without seeing drawings of intestines or worms or weird shit in their ads.
Yes, I should use an adblocker, but several of them interfere with other tools I use.
“Mace wasn’t finished. Responding directly to Jayapal’s pearl-clutching, she owned the label the left loves to weaponize: “She’s right. I don’t want to get stabbed or blown up by a suicide bomber – nor do I want to hear the call to prayer five times a day in the United States of America. Total Islamaphobe here.””
https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2026/08/rep-nancy-mace-goes-nuclear-says-every-muslim/
LOL
Mace is not wrong…
Cat fight!
*rowr*
To shift attitudes — and thereby, climate policy — educators, religious leaders and policy makers should use these approaches more. Many of us also encounter people who resist addressing climate change, and we, too, can draw on these recent studies to try to alter attitudes.
We should also enhance education for K-12, college and public discourse about the need to think about moral conflicts using more systematic approaches, to know how to respond to moral arguments, by drawing on shared moral principles.
The field of bioethics has, for instance, developed a framework for doing so that invokes commonly endorsed values. It requires examining relevant facts and considering ethical principles such as maximizing the benefits to individuals and society, minimizing the risks, protecting stakeholders’ rights and upholding justice by reducing inequities and avoiding undue burdens on vulnerable or disadvantaged groups.
Oh for fuck’s sake. We clearly do not harangue and terrorize the children about the coming eco-Armageddon; some of them still manage to ignore their impending doom.
Do you know why Chyna doesn’t have any sort of eco-disaster propaganda wrecking their young people’s minds?
Cause they are already a totalitarian commie shithole.
And they wonder why kids are petrified to come out of the rooms, socialize, learn how to drive, etc.
It is hilarious. Pretending that the previous forty or fifty years of non-stop propaganda simply never happened.
Well back in old Bucharest and havent slept in lile 27 hours. i wanna go 2 3 more then sleep hoping to beat the jet lag.
Then wake up in New Bucharest?
A brand new day
“Bucharest. Shit. I’m only in Bucharest. Every time, I think I’m gonna wake up back in the tundra.”
– Pie, probably.
Good luck.
Maybe it’s not as bad for Europe , but my wife has never managed to beat it after a trip to Japan.
For 2 weeks after she gets home, she falls asleep at 9pm like turning out a light.
Trying to convey that I really am ill and you joke about my phone number? Tres, I hope you and Y B have tall cans in hell.
See youse around maybe if this MLW doesnt circle the drain.
“What a wonderful place! Such real helpful people!” Not in my experience, mostly. A couple of people here.
Will leave you misogynists to it.
People have been giving you advice, and as far as we can tell you’re refusing to take it and acting like a drama queen by flooding the comments section. Is it any wonder people make jokes about your phone number?
Big Food Is Creating Fake Health Groups To Confuse Consumers
Yeah. The American Heart Association and American Diatecis Association have been around for a long time.
Ha! Somebody in WordPress Central Intelligence must have read that Brave/Win 11 was blocking the “I am Not a Robot” check in. Because it just prompted me.
So far I only got one when I first got here.
I had a cartoon that had a naked man standing in front of his laptop which had the Captcha saying “Prove you are not a robot.” His wife was in the background saying “I don’t think that’s what it means!”
Sadly I have lost this comic. Derpy, if you are out there, you have your next one panel comic mission.
Everyone knows you’re not a robot, but a Brussels sprout-headed alien.
Where is my “I identify as a Robot” option?
I got it several yesterday.
iPhone, safari, nothing else.
My vegan girlfriend has the same reaction to my meat….
“Prosecutors say influencer Ash Trevino had relationships with over 50 inmates — including ones in prison for aggravated robbery and murder — over the past several years … TMZ has learned.
TMZ obtained court docs filed by Texas prosecutors in connection with her welfare fraud case. In the docs, they claim Ash engaged in relationships with approximately “50-75 inmates of the Texas Department of Criminal Justice….
This week, Ash avoided further time behind bars by pleading guilty to the offenses. She was sentenced to complete two years of community supervision, 120 hours of community service, an anti-theft class, and financial counseling.
The social media star was also ordered to pay $16,799.95 in restitution to the state.”
https://www.tmz.com/2026/08/07/influencer-ash-trevino-alleged-relationships-with-inmates/
anti-theft class?
“Stealing is bad, okay.”
Dare I even ask, how?
A friend of mine worked at a state corrections facility.
Her stories were wild.
Ted, I havent been able to check in. Illness plus abuse plus hovelry. I am stealing his puter now before he wakes up. Man hates me.
You all can have your Yusef. Feed him whatever he doesnt know he wants to eat, oint his psoriasis. I quit.
MY RULES
If you want to marry me, here’s what you’ll have to do:
You must learn how to make a perfect chicken-dumpling stew.
And you must sew my holey socks,
And soothe my troubled mind,
And develop the knack for scratching my back,
And keep my shoes spotlessly shined.
And while I rest you must rake up the leaves,
And when it’s hailing and snowing
You must shovel the walk… and be still when I talk,
And—hey—where are you going?
I am not a robot.
I am an android.
I am a cyborg.
Not agile though.