“Thousands of eggs?” Sandy asked.
“Thousands,” the doctor said gravely.
“Woo!” Sandy crowed, “I’m the egg queen!”
“No, ma’am,” her emotional support intern said, shrugging in her leashed harness, “it’s a dangerous medical condition.”
“You are experiencing a condition known as ‘superovulation,’ Congresswoman,” the doctor. “Basically, your ovaries are being wrung out like a kitchen sponge.”
“And just when I got rid of gingerfuck… I couldn’t have children with someone whose eyes are so close together.” Sandy said. “And it was time to lez-out for Woke 2. I need the WNBA vote, dammit!”
“You can still be a lesbian,” the intern said, reaching over to cup a heavy breast through Sandy’s hospital gown.
“Not now, Kayleighburrow,” Sandy said. “And not in public yet.”
“Yes, ma’am,” the intern said, pulling her hot hand back.
“Can I still freeze a few of them?” Sandy asked the doctor, turning to him after one last glare at Kayleighburrow.
“We can harvest and freeze all you wish,” the doctor said, removing the transvaginal ultrasound wand with a KY slurp.
“Maybe just one or two then,” Sandy said, “I wasn’t going to use them anyway. Getting knocked is how Puerto Rican women gordita.”
“Less than 10% ever use their eggs,” the doctor said. “That makes quite a bit of money for me with the storage fees when they never come back for them.”
“What do you do with all the leftovers?” Kayleighburrow asked.
“Sell them to the pervert omelet community,” the doctor said, smiling. He rubbed his fingers together in the international hand sign for cash money.
“Don’t freeze any of them,” Sandy said. “I’ll just bleed them out over a few months.”
“Ma’am…” Kayleighburrow began.
“Congresswoman, they will come out all at once,” the doctor said.
“The medical sites call it a ‘bloodstorm,’” Kayleighburrow said.
“That can’t be right,” Sandy said. “I don’t know why I had to inherit Kamala’s dumbest intern. What happened to the smart one?”
“Astra killed herself, ma’am,” Kayleighburrow said.
“Whoa, that got dark,” the doctor said, licking the ultrasound wand like a Rocket Pop.
“Whoa, that got dark,” the doctor said, licking the ultrasound wand like a Rocket Pop.”
Saved the best for last.
I was doing fairly well until the end. Damn it, SF, I’m finished for the day.
Thanks a lot.
To be fair, it’s dinner time for you, isn’t it?
Thought it was “KY slurp” at first.
Then I thought it was “pervert omelette community”. (No offense to ES intended; Sounds like one of his kinks)
But I think you’re right.
None taken, PutridMeat. And for the record, oviposition play can be hot, but eating the eggs afterward is too far even for me.
*Wild Applause
Check the timestamp of my reply.
IT IS THE FIRST OF ALL FIRSTS.
Time Travel Firsts are especially impressive.
They aren’t that impressive given how fucked up WordPress has been.
Oh no!
Bravo!
with a KY slurp
It’s the little details that make it.
She can clone herself by the hundreds.
Pictured
Oh no, not Astra! Though that shouldn’t have been a surprise.
But is Kayleighburrow a reliable narrator?
(wasn’t it Astrid?)
Now there’s an interesting question of moral philosophy – can you deadname someone after they’re actually dead?
This gives me hope Astrid is still alive.
Whelp, there is certainly some vivid imagery going on here.
>.>
“Basically, your ovaries are being wrung out like a kitchen sponge.”
For whom does the biological clock’s bell toll? It tolls for thee.
https://www.cnn.com/2026/08/12/politics/exclusive-splc-fraud-cfo-charges
Finally, an arrest.
I am not paying the ghost of a Ted Turner to read that.
I didn’t get a paywall.
The political persecution continues.
She doesn’t miss meals.
This… is CNN. A laughingstock.
We are not worthy of so much Sugar Free.
Noon . . . . the calm before the storm.
Afternoon . . . . the ship is broken and strewn across the beach.
I would expect nothing less.
Did I not warn ye?
You have the right to shut the fuck up
An 18-year-old Black woman filed a lawsuit this week against an Arkansas State Police trooper she said “slammed her to the ground and struck her in the face” during a traffic stop.
——-
Attorney Benjamin Crump is representing Hackett and calling for a use-of-force investigation. Crump said Hackett was booked at 12:51 a.m. on Aug. 2 in Mississippi County jail on five charges: improper display of tags, a restriction on vehicle lamps, no seatbelt, purchase or possession of alcohol by a minor, and refusal to submit to arrest.
——-
“Arkansas State Police have to explain to the public how that is a reasonable response to a teenager at a traffic stop,” Crump said in a statement. “If you cannot handle a teenage girl without taking her to the ground, cursing at her, and punching her in the face, you should not be wearing a badge.”
Ben Crump. And, just like that, my inclination toward sympathy goes poof.
Yep. Give the cop a medal.
Hiring that melinated sheister should be grounds for
dismissal.
Isn’t he busy with that other race baiting case with the kid who drowned? Where does he find the time for all the speaking truth to power!
Right there. Am not disappointed.
Very porny, and lunch is… postponed.
I’m living in my safe air-conditioned abode, but it’s bad out there. Over 90% in Lake County and over 60% in Porter County are without power. They are estimating it will be out through the weekend. The first days of school have been canceled. The governor of Indiana has declared a state of emergency.
https://www.cbsnews.com/chicago/news/comed-power-outages-tornadoes-severe-storms-tuesday/
That sucks. My record is 10 days after a hurricane.
Fortunately everybody has plenty of guns.
The 6th anniversary of the “Derecho” was a few days ago. My daughter was without power for 14 days. Her aging Xterra was totaled with the back window was blown out and the entire interior (including wiring) was flooded.
My house escaped mostly unscathed, and I watched my family and friends suffer for weeks
“I feel your pain.”
I think they declared this a Derecho too. I’m right were you were. Some of my in-laws are over now, and we’re offering a bedroom and a shower to our friends.
It was plenty stormy yesterday, and a bit this afternoon, but we’re too far south. No power losses here I know of. I believe the nephews, now 8th, 6th and 1st grade, had normal schooling this week.
My area and south are business as usual. The gas station up the road is getting tons of business because it’s one of the few that has power.
Are the gun shops still open? Asking for friends who may have lost weapons in the latest unfortunate boating accidents.
Side note: I still think that ginger dudes face looks more normal than AOC’s.
AOC has got the SSREyes, but her live-in cuck looks like his mother squashed his head in a vice as a child when he wouldn’t stop wetting himself. Frankly, I’m surprised they broke up, as they look perfect for each other…
I wonder if she was born with that RBF. Dude probably feared for his life.
What do you bet he broke up with her?
She has the flared nostrils of one who’s permanently aggrieved.
‘Flared Nostrils of Perpetual Aggrievement’ is going to be a homebrew magical item in my D&D campaign.
+1 constitution to elves and female humans ES.
-5 on all saves vs. ‘Getting the Vapors’.
I note that they allegedly broke up 2 years ago.
Why do I think the press would not have been so circumspect about respecting a congresscritter’s personal life if they had a R after their name?
So she got engaged to a portly Prince William lookalike (minus the title) four years ago and suddenly the ring isn’t to be seen. That’s a long time to be engaged. What, ‘We’ll marry when my term is over?’ Uh. And yep, there’s no way she’s not taking in all comers that she thinks immediately benefit her and ‘her.’ I’m sure he’s just fine with it, or was. I can’t imagine what she’s actually like, though I doubt there’s much ‘her’ really there. Well. I bet she’s something else.
Living the “TAX THE RICH!” rich & famous life is weighing on her and her steady pudgy push. That’d ruin her brand, but so would marriage. I’m sure she still barks at folk angry with her, convinced they’re all just pissed they can’t *really* go out with her.
Stuck up cunt. Still would. Possibly, to teach her some manners first. (‘Use the outside cutlery and work your way in, dear. Wipe your hands and just HONK your nose into the table cloth. Shows appreciation.’)
AOC, for me, is a solid would not. One of the many examples of Aloysious’ Iron Law of the Progressive Women: An Intersectional Progressive Democrat women is only attractive from a distance, or until she opens her mouth and you get to know her.
Agreed. I feel the same.
she opens her mouth
As long as her mouth was only open for reception – maybe. But as soon as words come out – adios.
Okay, among y’all, I’ll be Mr. Inclusive and Accepting. (She’ll LOVE that.) (Ooh. Semi-more seriously, (ooh, GI Jane’s younger, ev-friendly sister!) I enjoy hanging out with people like that. Let’s ignore my ex is one of those people, but that sort of batshit is just fun. Let people talk and they reveal so much more. It’s highly entertaining. I’ve only ever gotten angry with best friends (who disagree entirely) and we’d be in a long, deep conversation. Just being around folk spoutin’ their minds is constructive, fun and valuable.
I mean. If AOC really wanted to know the heart of my political, cultural, personal and moral spirit, I *might* just let her fuck me. (She lost that ring cuz she was just so damn upset she couldn’t date me, natch.)
Her personality, how she got to where she is, TAX THE RICH! in a special, special place in her wardrobe, I’d fucking hate every moment of her. But, especially in her early-Rep years? Uh. Damn. I’m human. Me wanty. And the Feminists Party again drives a powerful political champion through looks and AOC’s utter willingness to say whatever she’s fucking told to. I’d be her prize for the night. I cheerfully accept those terms.
(Paid for by the Committee to Reelect AOC Kampaign, natch.)
Why do I think the press would not have been so circumspect about respecting a congresscritter’s personal life if they had a R after their name?
They were shielding her from the misogynist MAGAbros. We all know how badly they want to date her.
Why have you taken me to this ditch filled with dead people?
New York Magazine blasted for ‘antisemitic,’ ‘dangerous’ cover story that smeared Jewish people while supposedly celebrating Arab culture
The “no-shit” byline. (Zaina Arafat, Madeline Leung Coleman, Jasmine Vojdani and more!)
For all the shit men get, women are the most fevered cultural madpeople of all.
Just… wow.
“SWANA” – they literally just made this up? It feels like there is an alternate descriptor they’re avoiding there for some unknown reason.
New York magazine should change their name to ‘Pravda, comrade’.
“He rubbed his fingers together in the international hand sign for cash money.”
Oooh! The doc’s joinin’ Puka Nacua in the fevered Jew dance! Like Irish tap dancing in reverse, legs in stoic reserve, with the fingers makin’ it rain like the Sandy Puka Puta she is after the ova harvest. A deeply symbolic finger-dance ritual, encompassing that currently available slut nicely.
Sad how after years of largess – but no kids – she’s still puttin’ on the pudge. That’s your whole fucking brand, AOC.
Or maybe college is irrelevant
A college degree, on its own, is no longer the differentiator it once was. The solution lies in no longer viewing work experience as something that happens outside of college. It should instead be embedded into the academic experience itself.
That means embedding real-world, employer-designed projects directly into the courses students already take, so that every student finishes a degree having done actual professional work. Colleges should treat work-integrated learning as core academic infrastructure, not an extracurricular activity.
Employers should work with institutions to bring real-world projects into the classroom rather than waiting to meet students at a career fair.
Businesses can hire entry level employees and train them on the job.
Did you know colleges like Drexel offer this thing called co-op.
*Northeastern grad waves hi*
My co-ops were great.
Best choice I ever made for attending a college. Already had nearly two years experience with cpa firms when I graduated.
Bringing back apprenticeships in more lines of work makes total sense. And for that, you don’t really need college.
Sounds like they just “discovered” senior projects.
Fuck you TOK for reminding me of my Master’s capstone.
We did a consulting gig for Los Angeles County, and when the first pointed recommendation was rounded off by the client at the final presentation, I started jumping to what I knew would be problematic points as the presentation progressed and suggested how we soften them up so they said nothing. I’m not sure that our adviser (professor) truly appreciated my efforts.
One place I talked to, mostly for shits, was Mirror Indy, an Indy and trying to be Indiana ‘publication.’ They have “Developers,” which I could do but likely won’t, where folk go to city, county, school etc meetings to take notes about what’s discussed, etc. He said they were offering like $20/hr for it, but take-as-they-come type freelance.
As he was talking about it, it seemed obv territory for students. ‘Here’s a vague ‘assignment,’ report what happens’ so they could get experience. We’ve talked about it before, I believe, but it’s like Masters in Science should have an “experiment replication” thesis. Check old work, see if it’s repeatable, get them experience actually doing basic science. Seems quite similar for journalists.
I talked to them to see if they take freelance writing, but mostly just to talk about the current goins-on. Mirror Indy is the connection that told me about the conference to begin with, so they had more info than many.
The egghead vote
That support showed up geographically. Hong won Madison, home to the University of Wisconsin’s flagship campus, by nearly 7 percentage points, though it wasn’t a big enough of a margin to help her win the nomination.
A similar pattern helped propel El-Sayed to victory a week earlier in Michigan.
El-Sayed won Washtenaw County, home to the University of Michigan, by nearly 25 percentage points and Ingham County, home to Michigan State University, by 23 points. He also won Grand Rapids, with its large population of younger, college-educated voters, by nearly 26 points.
This should make people question the value of a college education.
College has a negative value.
That’s deep. Apparently Democratic voters are just as empty of principles as the weirdos running to represent them.
Also – in non-ID states it is very easy to cheat the vote with the college crowd.
Starting with non resident students.
I’ve heard of a Cleveland Steamer, but I have no idea what a Kentucky Slurp is.
When I was getting my EMTB in KY one of the instructors told a story about a lost condom, a pair of scissors and a couple we had to surmise were cousins.
KY as in Jelly.
The KY I was in never involved any lube.
The big green weenie just shoves it in dry.
“Sell them to the pervert omelet community,”
Rule 34 still holds.
69th. It can’t be a coincidence.
So Karoline Leavitt is resigning… just after returning from maternity leave. WTF didn’t she just quit then if she wasn’t going to do the job?
Eh, I get thinking you can do it, getting back and realizing that you’d have to ignore your kids a bit to truly do the job.
Reality trumping ambition.
And leave a benefit on the table? What kind of monster are you?
As much as I love the NFA getting reduced, under current state law it’s going to shaft people here.
https://www.oregonfirearms.org/silence-is-not-yet-golden
It needs to be repealed or struck down totally.
Washington Gun Law touched on that today too.
Sounds like WA law is nearly identical to Oregon.
How hard is it to find a false lock? That is when installed you have a keyhold and faceplate and you can feel tumblers inside if you put in a key, but the mechanism it connects to is just a solid shape, providing give when trying to turn it. Basically a time waster for someone trying to pick it since it can never really turn and doesn’t lock anything.
Install a deadbolt backwards?