Thursday Afternoon Links

by | Aug 6, 2026 | I Am Lame | 38 comments

Happy first Thursday in August, y’all. I just have to get through until Tuesday, and everyone will be back to school. I get to have my damn regular life back. I have started taking my 12 year old son to the gym. I’ll be honest with y’all, Private Pyle was in better shape at the start of Full Metal Jacket. But that’s okay. That’s what the gym is for. He gets a little better at doing the exercises every time, his brain wires up to his muscles a little bit, and progress happens. Another month, and I think he’ll be able to do an actual, femur parallel to ground, back squat. And then we’ll make him less weak and more useful in general. Also, it is good for fathers and sons to have a thing they can do standing next to each other. It’s a much more collaborative place for men than face-to-face. We’ll see.

I assume they’re calling it the Fathom because it sounds deep but isn’t.

Oh boy, I’m so glad a bunch of sociopaths took AI into the real world. Hopefully, these AI agents will discover “the only way to win is not to play” before they try launching nukes.

Apparently, all the nuns present immediately went to confession.

Anyone eating at Chipotle should expect a little bacterial add-on.

The tag oversells it, but

About The Author

Brett L

Brett L

Brett set out to find America, the real America, the America of strip malls and serial killers, of butthole waxing and kelp smoothies, of cocaine and maggots. He sought it in the most American part of America—Florida: swamp gas and fever dreams, where love arrives on a rickety boat and leaves when it doesn't have the money for its fourth abortion. Oh, where has Brett gone? He’s drinking at the neck of America’s wang, chewing its foreskin and working its shaft. Brett is becoming legend. Brett can never die. Brett can never die. Brett is America, facedown in his own patriotic puke: the red his blood, the white his stomach lining, and the cold, cold blue his gas station slushie, spiked with coconut rum and tetracycline.

38 Comments

  1. DEG

    in a first, were found to engage in “social engineering” to pressure a human approver while carrying out an unsanctioned task

    “Unsanctioned”? You fucked up the prompt you fed into the AI.

  2. The Other Kevin

    Camila Alves and Matthew McConaughey have spiritually uplifting experience after meeting Pope Leo during Vatican visit

    When asked what he thought of the Pontiff, McConaughey responded, “He’s all right all right all right.”

    • PieInTheSky

      Someone spiked the comunion

      • PieInTheSky

        Wine goddamnit stupid wordpress

      • Ted S.

        The wafer could be an edible….

  3. DEG

    “We are confident that we have the best cost platform and are focused on the right market,” a Ford spokesperson said in an email. “We believe the UEV platform will be a strategic advantage — and we have the best chance to make it work.”

    Why do I think this really means Ford will be lobbying for a return to increased CAFE standards?

    • The Other Kevin

      They’re trying to read the tea leaves and betting on the political winds shifting.

      • DEG

        That’s true.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Well messed those up. Lame

      • The Other Kevin

        I thought the entertainment was the rest of us trying to click fake links.

    • Aloysious

      The long tradition of SugarFreeing links looms large over you.

      • Aloysious

        Also, Lame.

  4. Aloysious

    Love the ABB. Midnight Rider is a genuine classic.

    Can’t listen to them without wanting to listen to Little Feat, especially Spanish Moon.

  5. R.J.

    Everybody stand up, and gird the loins of the person next to you. Tonight we watch “Ulysses” with Kirk Douglas on GlibFlicks! Sword and sandal time!

    • Aloysious

      Cool.

      I’m still not touching anyone else’s loins.

    • PieInTheSky

      I am in a pub and that would be sexual assault

      • R.J.

        You have the God-given right to gird your own loins instead.gird your own loins

  6. PieInTheSky

    Canadia is supposed to be cold. Why is it 33C in Halifax

  7. Ownbestenemy

    Be interesting to hear what the DSA would do with DHS and DOW employees if they got their dream.

    They are howling now at what is…a small RIF in FedGov employees that barely went beyond normal attrition numbers for a given fiscal year.

    • EvilSheldon

      Throw them in jail, probably.

      • Ownbestenemy

        They want to abolish jails too…

      • Gender Traitor

        I bet they’d be willing to make an exception.

      • Gender Traitor

        Oh – and replace DHS and DOW with a KGB for the new(ish) millennium.

      • EvilSheldon

        They want to abolish jails too…

        Not for enemies of the state, they don’t. They’d probably just call them re-education camps, or something like that…

  8. Ownbestenemy

    First Taco Bell and now Chipotle…I see a coordinated strike happening.

  9. The Late P Brooks

    They’re trying to read the tea leaves and betting on the political winds shifting.

    “Honest, President Newsom, we were always on your side.”

    • The Other Kevin

      Whew, we’re FINALLY rid of the orange menace, amiright they/them?

    • Ownbestenemy

      You misspelled Ocasio-Cortez

    • EvilSheldon

      “…part of a pilot program aimed at reducing student stress and curbing a ‘mental health crisis’.”

      sob! sob! “But, but, why won’t anyone give me a job?”

  10. The Late P Brooks

    Tonight we watch “Ulysses” with Kirk Douglas on GlibFlicks! Sword and sandal time!

    I watched The Light at the Edge of the World last night.

    Pirates. Crazy, crazy pirates.

  11. The Late P Brooks

    Students will still earn letter grades and receive instructor feedback in every course. However, those grades will remain internal, will not appear on official transcripts, and will not affect first-semester GPAs.

    My dad went to Ohio State. He said any Ohio high school graduate could get in, but that didn’t mean they wouldn’t flunk out in their first year. I think that was a better system.

Submit a Comment