cartoon medley #11
About The Author
Derpetologist
The world's foremost authority on the science of stupidity, Professor Emeritus at Derpskatonic University, Editor of the Journal of Pure and Theoretical Derp,
Chancellor of the Royal Derp Society, and Senior Fellow at The Dipshit Doodlebug Institute for Advanced Idiocy
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The last is the ‘best,’ but they’re all rather dreary. I wish they still had open smoking hospitals. Ya know. Would take the edge off. So would smack. I’m with the nihilist doc, though I wouldn’t call myself that. Have some fun. Turning your mind off, and turning it on, both have merit, ‘correctly’ used, with the standard set and setting disclaimer.
Say what you want about the tenets of national socialism, at least it’s an ethos.
Not a fan.
It was a reference.
You are out of your element, Donny!
Hegseth and shaving.
Gross and stupid.
AR 670-1 has a terrible impact on recruitment and retention.
I don’t get it. All shave cuz soldiers, conformity, gotcha. Understood. Above the lip if you’re an officer or something, and it’s different in the navy. Is that the only reason not having regs is stupid? The lack of discipline, or tradition, or sometimes just common sense. Beards and face masks not working properly, etc.
But, uh? I’ve also heard some here just say it’s ugly. *shrug* I’d say don’t have ’em at all, for the reasons I just said. But I don’t get the bruhaha over facial hair. Well, I s’pose I kinda do, but humor me.
The claimed reason was gas masks in WWI but you see some pretty great beards into the twenties.
The U.S. navy got rid of them around 95-97 claiming the fire fighting masks required you to be clean shaven.
The real reason is likely some generals/joint chiefs ego trip much like the general who decided that the army all had to wear the beret after he failed range school and couldn’t earn one.
50 years out, I still run an electric razor over my face every day, even on the weekends. I’ve had the beard/mustache but it was way more trouble.
I get it and think shaving should be either mandatory or forbidden. (I kinda get not shaving. Easy to cut yourself, time consuming, rations, etc.)
The team spirit camaraderie is required, for sure. Army+ wide, not unit by unit, etc. *shrug* I’d be an oddly good soldier if I’d been raised almost completely differently. Like, if I had my same temperament and character, but diff family focus. I’m short, but I’m spry.
<=
I’m green. What do I know?
I never saw any legitimate time spirit in my time in.
Lots of fake rah rah rah and enforced fun but no real unit cohesion. Lots of big egos and small minds with rank and a healthy helping of the Race Card. People would reenlist early or intentionally fail a piss test to get out of my unit. Buddies I made that went to other units and bases said the situation they ended up in was no better or worse. Only three guys I knew stayed in long enough to retire. The other 70 or so new guys in my unit did one hitch. A handful of them did two.
Given all the other liberties you have to give up to join, the grooming standards seem trivial to me. Being an individualist, I don’t particularly care about the Star Wars clone uniformity, but I can see the reasoning behind it I suppose.
It’s the same reasoning behind Catholic school uniforms and whatnot. You’re not a special snowflake there either.
The real purpose of Catholic school uniforms is procreation. By inculcating the young lads with a kink specific to their religion, it ensures they’ll go forth and multiply with a co-religionist.
The purpose of school dress codes is to give the students something to rebel against which has no actual stakes in terms of potential damage.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
The military wants uniformity. If you’re not prepared for that maybe you shouldn’t join.
The uniforms are all the same.
Agreed with all. But I’ve heard much ‘It’s dreadful’ type talk. Like it’s a disgrace or something more meaningful. *shrug*
Foolish consistency, hobgoblin of small minds, etc etc. I vacillate between thinking there’s too much and too little respect for tradition in a broad sense, but the military probably trends towards the “too much” side. Keeping in mind Chesterton’s fence, “we’ve been doing it this way for a long time” is a generally not a good reason to continue doing anything.
They at least finally got rid of the beret and the black polish boots.
Then like idiots in the army went to some terrible blue class A’s that look like something the Airforce had thrown away. I missed that one by about six months thank god.
For all the talk about facial hair, I seem to be the only weirdo who thinks the officer/NCO shit is horribly outdated. It’s literally based on when there was a nobility. You could maybe argue that the positions themselves and how people are managed is overall fine. But the selection process is fucking retarded. Some asshole private with a 4 year degree? Here ya go, lieutenant!
He needs to go all the way and kick out the tattoo shitbirds. He can self-defenestrate.
My late brothers and I, retired army guys, not a single tatt.
Yup. The whole tatt fad is pure narcissism. There is no room for that, Pete.
Does the Army still limit tats to places not visible when in uniform?
I think the tat thing is a lack of pain for reward.
Life is easy and you don’t have to suffer for what is good in life.
Especially in the military. Three hots and a cot. Good pay. And 99% of the time it’s boring as fuck. Plenty of guys like that they get paid to run and do pushups.
When I was in high school and my buddies started either talking about getting tats, or actually sat for one, I didn’t have any real strong opinion, but said “yeah, not for me.” I always said that if I ever did get a tattoo, I’d put the Warped Sportz Paintball logo on my shoulder (nod to my misspent youth. I still have my 2001 Dark Angel LCD. I take it out of the gear bag and make sure it works every few years when I’m teching guns for clients). Ended up getting 2 tattoos last year (hey, at least I can say it was mature, reasoned stupidity and not juvenile folly). That wasn’t one of them. Part of me thinks it’d be funny to do for the nostalgia.
Nope, visible tattoos in uniform. I’ve seen neck, head, and hand tattoos now.
The last SMA to stand athwart the force and yell stop gets pilloried today as being out of touch with today’s service members.
There needs to be a housecleaning like there was in the late 70’/80’s after the no-go barracks, soldiers committees, and flagrant drug use.
It’s like every snapshot of cops I see lately. It’s a circus freakshow of ink.
I wonder if the fad will ever die down? It seems more prevalent than I can remember in my lifetime.
I was handed a live grenade by a guy with hand tatts. After they scraped the bottom of the barrel, they looked under the barrel and found him.
@Rhy – I’m hoping the new rebelliousness will be clean-cut, inklessness to differentiate themselves from the tattooed miseries that have become so prevalent.
https://www.duffelblog.com/hegseth-tired-of-looking-at-all-these-limp-dicks-in-pentagon-locker-room/
In the circles I hung out with through college and early adulting? I was definitely the inkless rebel.
^^ All reasons now why I really, really don’t want any ink. I casually thought of a few ideas a decade ago, and I’m thrilled I never followed through.
I rather like being a rare, virgin New Blood in my generation. (Or Old Blood? Hmm…)
Teddy Roosevelt was fat, wore glasses, and had asthma. Still did pretty well the first time he went into battle at age 40. Not sure what his testosterone was.
The military already tests for IQ. Base promotions on that if you want better leaders. I sent an email to Trump suggesting that and other things.
*I never had any, ANY serious thoughts about actually getting a tattoo. I’d get a wedding ring inked, or something VERY similar, but that’s it. Unless something drastic changes.
Narrator: Something will drastically change.
Marketer behind the curtain: Now, let’s slow down here…
Well, everything old is new again.
I’m reminded of tribal scarification and shit. It’s all “look at me” shit in my opinion. I don’t care where or when it’s practiced.
That was likely the practice being referenced by Leviticus 19:28:
Meh, anything tied to appearance/identity is, to one extent or another. It’s sort of like a once-fashionable leisure suit you can’t take off.
Mine stay covered by my shirts until I’m by myself in a tee after work. I’ve only ever had one person even notice them. Which made me unexpectedly uncomfortable.
PT formation shave checks is a cherished tradition …
Also, not for nothing, but in my experience the hippie is just as likely to lecture you about his superiority as the suit. Possibly more so.
Seriously. I am not a fan.
Hippies stink.
Hey!!!
(sniffs self, tobacco and weed).
…Okay, you may have a point.
Ha!
At least it’s not patchouli. That shit is nasty.
Patchouli still gets me hard…Jen the hippie chick was so much fun…
Oooh, I’d say the hippie is far, far, far more likely to be morally Holier Than Thou. Thanks CS Lewis, they do it with the encouragement of their own good conscience. Same religious parts of the brain lighting up.
Businessmen just try to talk you into buying a time-share or something. I love the spam texts I get asking if I want to sell [whatever property]. Huh! And the shits trying to sell me property. I’ve blocked ’em, but it was funny.
Why is the anti-bready guy behind a podium? If it’s spose to impart that he’s some important government official/political influencer why is the goat farmer so close to him. better to show the A-rab out in an audience, as if they are in one of those stupid townhall meeting or some young republican campus thing where “Ben what’s his name with the sister with the melons” or pre assassinated Charlie Kirk would bait idiots into beclowning themselves.
That’s Abby Shapiro, and the standard nomenclature is “Khazar milkers.”
Beat me to it
Got fired today because they want someone who works faster. Oh well. At least I got 2 months of forklift experience. I’ll try my luck at the other forklift place in town.
It was my 23rd job, I think. Meh, as long as my income exceeds my outgo, it doesn’t matter how many jobs I get fired from. I’ve been fired from 6 jobs in the past 5 years.
I don’t have much energy or enthusiasm, but that’s been a problem in many of the jobs I’ve had.
Also, Shinseki did not fail Ranger School:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eric_Shinseki#Awards,_decorations,_and_badges
The black beret thing was supposed to mean that everyone is elite. That’s some of that military intelligence for you.
Be honest, you did it all for the meme, didn’t you?
Or the nookie.
I recall an early proposal was branch color berets. MI would have been powder blue with silver trim.
Damn, man. I hope you can find something at the new place. *thinks really hard to explain the image that always pops into my mind*
It’s like we’re two rings on the same gyroscope, with different RPM, but occasionally syncing up, or bouncing /repelling off another. Odd little coincidences in the timing of our professional ‘luck,’ I continue to notice them.
Hope you have time to chill and regroup. Sounds like it. Onward, soldier.
Well, you still have that VA grift going, so no need to “try” AMIRITE?
It pays about 90% of my expenses, which is great. I’m single and I live cheap. I still want to work, even if it’s cleaning toilets at Buc-ee’s.
I’m trying not to be a complete loser here.
Bruh, I’m at the same job since ‘99…
I’ve been fired three times.
Wrong place wrong time and the foreign students pay got subsidized by the feds.
Was sick and wouldn’t go so someone else’s job in the field as I was not going to miss a drs appointment.
Wanted weekends off after working all but a handful of them for two years straight.
I’m not even union or .gov
Does it count as the same job if I change roles and titles within the same organization? The work I’m doing now does not resemble the work I was doing eighteen years ago when I started with the State.
I’m at the same company and its acquirer since about ’98.
It’s why I’m rather underpaid. Because I am at the highest position before management and there is no fucking way I’m going into management and I’m not getting a decent raise out of them at this point.
Since 92 for me.
One of my first tasks at Present Co. was attaching digit stickers to manila folders. I graduated to typing out policy forms a few weeks later. The pay was better than hotel desk clerk and the work was far less stressful so I stuck with it.
That was the story when I was in.
Enjoying a leisurely smoke on my patio. I have two upstairs neighbors on floors 3 and 4 – both home but windows tightly shut and I dunno, running AC? Which is mentally unbalanced IMHO when it’s a beautiful 66 degrees out.
*Cheshire cat grin, slowly nods*
Let me know if it’s a good enough chill spot to get a chair (of a comfortable, but cheap and weather-proof variety, or, you do you), along with a little table for your drink and ash.
I feel, often, I do wonders in this world. *colorfully swirls away into Cubberland*
I bought an inflatable chair for the move, so that’s out there now. The intent was to sit around the empty apartment while I waited for the electric to be turned on but it was already turned on when I arrived. Added the matching ottoman a couple weeks ago. And a little TV tray that just arrived a couple days ago which I use for TV dinners. None of that is proper patio furniture but it will do for now.
Happily the TV is in a direct line of sight from the patio but not when I’m sitting.
Inflatable chair, TV tray…
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=C-6mI708yWc&ra=m
Thought you quit?
I did but one or two a night isn’t going to kill me. I was afraid I’d be immediately back up to a pack a day but that’s not happening. I might look into vaping again cuz these things taste like shit.
*Cheshire cat grin rapidly expands*
I am new to NJ – in some ways it’s slightly less retarded than NY, where vaping was increasingly difficult to pursue due to lawsuits and shit. I’ve seen it for sale here but if it’s the same price as tobacky why bother?
Smoking is cool.
😎
But suicide is badass!
suicide is painless.
damn your nimble fingers
Suicide is no solution.
https://youtu.be/yVSmiDJB-PI?is=OfdeOmGnTKr6PH_f
I have enchiladas. All is right in my world.
*big thumbs up*
My Jimmy Johns is doin’ me nicely. I need to eat more, I really do. Speaking of, I forgot lunch in work’s fridge. So a Cobb salad’s there, along with a Coke Zero, so meh. But I left a FORK and my special salt in it! (Krazy Mixed-Up salt *mwah*)
So things are not all right in my world. I’ve got men stuck behind enemy lines. I don’t know how long they’ll last…
I’ll be stoic about ’em. (I hope no one notices the fork. Weirdo, me.)
I hope you have hot sauce.
Neh, just regular enchilada red sauce.
Isn’t your husband’s nickname hot sauce?
I had ice cream tonight. It’s been a month.
It was wonderful.
ice cream enchiladas?
I read this to the tune of Champagne Supernova, and now that’s probably going to pop into my head every time I hear that song.
Dammit.
The season is short, so we have to eat as much fresh stuff as possible.
Watermelon from the garden lunch and dinner. Big vine ripe tomatoes, cabbage, corn. Cukes are over but a neighbor gave us a few .
Pat that’s better than the actual lyrics.
Even as an Oasis fanboy, I can admit that Champagne Supernova is overrated in their repertoire.
There really are giant clouds of alcohol in space:
***
Giant alcohol clouds in space, such as Sagittarius B2, are massive interstellar formations containing methanol and ethanol, spanning thousands of times the size of our Solar System and offering insights into star formation and astrochemistry.
***
Not a champagne supernova, but kinda sorta.
Speaking of albums I want to give a re-listen, Bon Iver’s first album is really, really good. It’s been a long time, but some of the songs (Holocene, off the top of my head) are spectacular songs, through and through.
I saw him in Singapore with then-gf. I was happy I did.
I’ve noticed when *I* mention an artist, lines are formed and many participate. *hunkers, grin in reserve*
#metoo and yes that is the worst track on that album by a wide margin.
And that includes “Wonderwall”.
Facts. Speaking of which, I was going to see about driving over to Abilene to watch the Oasis: Don’t Look Back In Anger documentary on the big screen. So of course, it’s screening today, tomorrow, and Wednesday. I’m off Thursdays and Fridays…
Oooh. I’d forgotten how much I kinda really don’t like his voice. I’m confident my memory will be correct. *listens on* Huh. *questions self*
Not listening to more of that album. I’m sure I liked it for a reason, but it was also Prianka’s thing and I think it took a while for me to get that album. *shrug* His story of making the album is fun:
“While living in Raleigh, North Carolina, Vernon fell ill with mononucleosis and a liver infection, and grew frustrated with his songwriting and life. He left Raleigh and drove to his father’s remote hunting cabin an hour northwest of his hometown, Eau Claire, Wisconsin, hoping to be alone.” He hunted his food and stayed up there by himself recording for like eight months.
I did that the other night with This Is Happening by LCD Soundsystem. Every time I listen to that album I think to myself “Sure, James Murphy is an insufferable, pretentious twat, but Dance Yrself Clean is an absolute jam, why didn’t I keep this album?” and then by the time I’m halfway through Pow Pow I’m like “Oh yeah, now I remember. It’s because James Murphy is really, really, really an insufferable, pretentious twat.”
I recall LCD having a few tremendously good songs on one album, but not my general bag. But it’s been a long time.
*scribbles*
I’ve been fired from my last 3 jobs for working too slowly. I guess can’t hide the fact that I really don’t give a shit anymore. Which is kind of a liberating feeling.
My first engineering job, which was my 9th job, the boss came to me early on and said I looked tired and unhappy. I thought that job would get better if I stuck with it. It didn’t.
suggested video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8z7QFzDy-as
https://quillette.com/2026/07/06/what-an-eighth-grader-taught-me-about-status/
tl;dr – someone will draw a dick on your fossil
Meh, you’ve heard it but I’ll say it and perhaps it’ll resonate. One big issue I had/ have with my shit, is not having anyone to talk to that could even kinda relate. That, and I’m quite guessing we overlap here, I find all but 1.5 outta maybe 10 ‘therapists’ or ‘counselors,’ and I’d a priest/etc if I were of such sort and had talked to such.
I’m feeling you kinda need a person to vent pretty hard to/with. Call the VA folk and tell the dude ya just want to straight up vent. May help to just get it out. I don’t suggest asylum or inpatient, but you should likely talk to someone. I called one one day and I wish I still had the audio. I was very much panicked and fearful of another seizure at home alone. (So, yep, I was drunk.)
She was lovely to talk to, just to hear a voice who was listening. Certainly helped me. Ooh, kinda intersecting again, our rings — That was shortly after the time I was (in the most polite way possible) kidnapped and taken to the ER against my will, every step telling them I didn’t consent to any of it. I think I was in the ‘Don’t Listen to Crazy Person’ zone and they took me anyway.
I didn’t need to be there. A dude next to me fucking died right next to me. No one came for him for a while. When I got outta there, I got home and immediately drank that day away. It was the people at AA who turned me in, after I bucked up and overcame my tremors and issues to get there in the snow. There, I wanted 15 min to chill by myself, and they fucking got me on a gurney to the ER.
Venting about that, without M&D around, was like talking to a priest, best I can imagine.
I’ve done a lot of therapy, and I don’t think more will do any good. I live near my parents, and visiting them helps. I go to the gym with my dad 3x a week and visit my parents at least once a week for dinner.
My ex gal pal still talks with me. That helps. She’s been in loony bins and used to drink a lot too.
Maybe I should start a fight club?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XGyxOwM0tE
Posting here helps. A lot.
*misspoke: I’ve had maybe 1.5/10 ‘therapists’ who I didn’t think were dumb wastes of my time. One was pretty cool, another ok in his AA setting. The rest? Psh.
I really wish I had an in-person friend. Anything resembling intimacy would game-change. I’m glad I’ve broken my drinking habits. *fingers crossed, but just for show, w confidence*
Posting here? Uh? I very likely would/will lose it. Deep loneliness, just feeling nothing (pleasant) to share and no one to share it with, regardless. I’m fine with parents, but that doesn’t make me feel better, further slapping me that I live here in the first place.
Thanks ever so much to TPTB for giving us this space. (I’ll avoid fight clubs.)
My long time BFF from college is either ghosting me or genuinely unreachable. It sucks but now that I am back in town I might try to reach out a little more forcefully. It has been a few years. I hate his wife (and she hates me) which might present a challenge.
“I hate his wife (and she hates me) which might present a challenge.”
Seduce her. Then, your friendship with your BFF will be further solidified.
You’ve got this Rhy. https://youtu.be/XZ_XqM2X4hM?is=khCz9C-lmsu2_r82
She’s hot – I’ve seen her in action doing burlesque – but she’s an overeducated Hillary fan. Not gonna happen.
I could use a link to this artist’s work. She’d much appreciate it.
Fired from two this year. So far. *crosses fingers*
Both of us from Walmart, too. The gyroscope we share, I do say. Quizzical overlaps.
Damn, RIP. Did not know this.
My condolences?
The brother of One night in Bangkok.
And a talented vocalist in his own right.
Awww, what a shock. SCOTUS didn’t overturn the stay on Trump’s vote by mail directive. And Justice I still like beer cites there isn’t enough time. After the judicial process slow rolled it so there isn’t any.
It’s like how you can’t sue over election laws before the election because no harm can yet be demonstrated, and you can’t sue after because the remedy is moot.
Why didn’t OMB and his minions propose these changes much earlier so time wouldn’t run out?
Because they stupid, incompetent, and arrogant. The people around him shouldn’t be running a lemonade stand.
I had a mustache in the Army for about 4 years of the 5.5 years I was in. The pertinent regulation goes on for a paragraph. I memorized it for a promotion board since I expected to be asked to quote it, but it didn’t come up.
Here’s what I remember:
***
Mustaches must be trimmed, tapered, and tidy. They must not overhang the upper lip or have a bushy or chopped off appearance. They must not extend past vertical lines drawn at the corners of the mouth.
***
The sergeant major of my battalion at Fort Gordon complimented my mustache, but think he was just trying to make me feel better.
I knew a Norse pagan who got permission to grow a beard. Vikings didn’t shave and did pretty well in war, at least in pop culture.
In reality, their win-loss record in battle wasn’t that great, and they fought few large battles.
***
Viking Battle Data
I. General Victory & Performance Metrics
1. Total number of Viking victories vs defeats vs inconclusive outcomes
Out of 82 total entries, Vikings achieved 41 victories, suffered 33 defeats, and 8 were inconclusive or mixed outcomes. Viking victories: 41 / 82 = 50.0% Viking defeats: 33 / 82 = 40.2% Inconclusive / Mixed: 8 / 82 = 9.8%
***
https://norseimports.com/blogs/news/viking-battles-list-analytics
Mizzou smokes Kansas despite a sloppy start. Chiefs smoke the Broncos despite a sloppy start.
All is right in my football world.
Football’s great cuz I understand it plenty well to follow the game, but I only give a shit about it being a tight one, on one of a few times a year I watch. I give absolute fuck-all shits about who wins.
Which is kinda nice. I liked Manning as a person and player. Same with Elway, but this is all coming from Dad. He covered sports from time to time, but it was never his beat. Football barely edges, but does edge, baseball in his mind.
“Same with Elway”
Shut your whore mouth.
Anything for you, boops. *big vape inhale*
Not like I got work tomorrow or nuttin’. Still pending, so I’ll pend in my own way.
First peppers hit ripeness over the weekend. Made a Scorpion/Ghost chili hot sauce I’ll take to Honey Harvest in case Shpip makes it. If not, no will be brave enough. Made some chili with a couple of Reapers. Looking at my upcoming harvest, I thought maybe I should use some to cook up some dot Indian food with some Ghosts and take it to local dot Indian folks that bought our local convenience store and stare at them while they eat it like the dot Indian restrauntours do when I order their spiciest (which is has never been above my medium).
I picked up some fried chicken peppers at the ‘fest. They are angry, spicy pods.
My dragon’s breath plant is being very productive this year. I’m gonna start picking this week.
Good morning Glibbians.
🤨🌤️🥯
I had a low carb English muffin for breakfast (Aunt Millie’s).
Damn, that was pretty good.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=W6k2j4lJ59g
🎶🎶