If anyone needs me, I’ll be in my bunk — rebooting the goose.
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About The Author
Shpip
Self-deprecation seems to be his thing, but he's not quite funny or clever enough to pull it off.
If anyone needs me, I’ll be in my bunk — rebooting the goose.
So what you’re saying is, I do need a shotgun so I can fend off marauding hatebirds?
I’d recommend this Beretta shotgun
https://www.americanrifleman.org/content/beretta-introduces-shotgun-based-turret-system-for-drone-defense/
Today I leanred that Baretta owns Benelli.
Can we program the AI to have a mode where it targets where a human operator is shooting another weapon? I have this mental image of one guy with a shotgun firing and an array of autoturrets turning the sky into lead.
reminds me of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_dOa0d196M
Everybody needs a shotgun?
Maybe 2.
So you don’t have to reload?
I too watched some season 2 of The Gentlemen over the weekend.
[Geoff] Amir, we must get you a gun.
[Amir] Why are there so many? A… And why only two barrels?
[Geoff] Give the birds a sporting chance, sir.
[Amir] Which one is the best?
[Geoff] The best? Or the most impressive?
[Amir]Both.
[Geoff] You have your Germans, your Brits, and your American guns. But if you’re looking for prestige and heritage, I’m feeling Italian Beretta for you, sir. They hunt in pairs. They’ve been at it for 500 years. Oldest gunmakers in the world. You see that engraving? That took a little Italian man two years to etch that pretty picture.
[Amir] It’s magnificent.
[Geoff] No good in a Chicago gunfight, but absolutely wonderful in the green fields of England.
[Amir] I feel an erection coming on.
[Geoff] That’s the appropriate response, sir.
Why should we give birds a sporting chance?
Notably, while he gave the Sheik the pair of Berettas, he gave the guy who could add the Duke to the House of Lords a Holland and Holland.
Whoever wrote that scene at least cracked a book on wingshooting.
EvilSheldon – as NJ resident (#2) I know you’ll enjoy this. You’re MD, right?
Maryland Ranked Fifth-Happiest State in America for 2026
https://mocoshow.com/2026/09/08/maryland-ranked-fifth-happiest-state-in-america-for-2026/
Born and raised in MD, escaped to VA about fifteen years ago (for all the good it did me.)
Oddly, I find myself happiest when I’m in dead-last-ranked West Virginia. Perhaps because I just visit.
This is how they judge happiness?
The happiest states are those that provide above-average quality of life in a wide variety of areas, from strong state economies and great physical and mental healthcare to adequate amounts of leisure time and good weather.
One of the youtubers I watch (99 projects) has a catch phrase: “You can’t put the poop back in the goose.”
I think about that a lot…
Well you can, but you have to do it the way they make Foie Gras.
“You can’t put the poop back in the goose.”
You’re just not kicking it hard enough.
No, Brooksie, that’s chimp logic. We invented tools for a reason.
so did chimps
Not many and not particular sophisticated.
“We invented tools for a reason.”
*GASP* Hey! *rubs toe in dirt* My mom thinks I’m cool…
Given enough time and money, we will find a way to put the poop back in the goose. I shall apply for a government research grant immediately!
That sounds like shitty work.
All you need is a spoon and an old toothpaste tube.
…And a million dollar government grant!
Only one million. RJ, you have to do better.
Apply for grants regarding “Researching the Socio-Ecological impacts of Anatid-assisted rectification of environmental contaminants on Indiginous and minority lifeways.”
That would get spotted as a fake immediately. The correct term of art is “minoritized.”
This is why applications go through several rounds of revision before submission.
Foie crap?
Exploring the fecal reversal in geese and the related climate impacts in a hetero-normative patriarchal society.
Guaranteed funding.
@LastAmerican “avio-normative in a patriquackal society.” (Your eco-touch is gold for funding. I LOVE being exclusive with you. You… abject… ME. /Ledger Joker voice)
The French figured this out years ago. They just use it for liver pate.
. .
It could be worse. I could be marmots!
“Wrapping vehicle in chicken wire is no longer advised.”
https://www.nps.gov/seki/planyourvisit/marmots.htm
What is it with rodents and eating car parts?
The wires and hoses on modern cars are made out of biodegradable vegetable stuff. Not old-school plastic anymore. So they taste really great to rodents.
My beloved Dodge Durango was partially eaten by rats. It took three service visits to repair everything.
Making electrical insulation out of things considered tasty to rodents has to be one of the stupidest things ever. Just don’t park your car in a field or a barn or anywhere outside really and you might be fine. Only might though.
Can I buy toxic, non-degrading options that kill anything that tries to nibble on it?
I think it’s pretty degrading to the marmots to kill them.
Don’t be silly, it’s a dignified demise.
MAID = Marmots Assisted in Dying
Marmot Assistance In Dying is both excessively ridiculous and cruel.
Rodents do make terrible mordants.
Y’all. Y’all are goin’ great with this. Keep it up. I promise I won’t rattus out.
Great example of why this place rocks.
Nice marmot.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUjGMq-2K_g
It would be pretty bad if you were marmots.
Let’s focus on the real tragedy of 9/11; air quality violations.
Bravo.
I listen to the radio in the morning going to work. That already qualifies me as completely old. This AM three different ambulance chasing firms in a 20 minute period. Because who listens to news radio at 5AM, but old people or out of work people?
This was one of the three – the other were the standard “been hurt in an accident”.
https://www.post911attorneys.com/
This is just one of dozens of firms that specialize in making money off every unfortunate health issue that happened to anyone who was anywhere near the towers for a crazy long time.
They sued and got $7 billion from the house of Saud?
No that $7bn was from the US victim’s compensation fund. So your pocket and mine.
I jest.
I remember when they stood that welfare program up and knew it was going to be fraud all the way down.
Yes. but it’s domestic. Unlike our Ukraine aid since the start of the war. AI says that total is $195bn with $116bn dispursed.
Mind you a good chunk of that goes to US defense companies, but still plenty for Ukraine to fritter away.
I can’t believe there is any of that “money” left nor do I have a clue where any of the “money” came from.
I’m tempted to sign up but I have a feeling it would be more trouble than it’s worth.
lol Good one.
rhywun – it covers a multitude of health conditions. There is probably a good chance that your recent medical issues are covered. Also likely not caused by 9/11 of course.
The beauty is that the law firm will do the work for you. From the ads I think all you need is various amounts of documentation that you were there during the covered time period. So a co-worker’s sworn attestation will work, for example.
It is absolutely on the list.
I have to wonder how they “know” what causes these conditions… but WTF if it’s free money why not go for it.
PS. I thought that expired years ago – now it’s extended to 2090. 😮
The ads got them another customer!
You should have heard the ads from the same firm when the evil Team Red wanted to stop funding and reauthorizing the 9/11 Attorney Full Employment Act.
Naturally Team Red caved.
Lawyers for class action suits should collect no more than the median member of the class gets paid.
Remember when the US bailed out the Ukrainian teachers retirement fund after sending Randy Weingarten over to unionize them?
I remember.
My natural inclination is to stay far away from lawyers but the number of digits in those example payouts is eye-popping.
I might not be able to resist that.
To be fair, our FBI and CIA done fucked up big time, so maybe the taxpayer should foot the bill.
Of course instead of giving Tenet a fucking medal of freedom, maybe he should have gotten the 3 traitors treatment.
fast fwd to the 5 minute mark.
https://youtu.be/iPf84ymPrVM?si=ndjVMRnRqH2jqYYr
Off course
Teaching about 9/11 in schools is more important than ever now that about one-third of Americans were born after al-Qaida hijackers crashed planes and killed nearly 3,000 people in New York, the Pentagon and rural Shanksville, Pennsylvania. A growing majority of states — at least 40 — expect or suggest that public schools address 9/11 in some way, but the provisions vary widely in scope, specificity and framing, The Associated Press has found.
It was because that union-buster Reagan fired all the air traffic controllers.
OBE is a genocidal monster, it is known.
Wait, WTF did I do?
Take your name from Lit song?
“Take your name from Lit song?”
——–
The only thing that I remember about Lit other than that song was that one of them owned/ran the bar whose bouncer called the cops that ended up killing Kelly Thomas.
Right after he personally trickle downed all the mental health hospitals onto the streets.
At the drug test spot! Tremors picked up but only cuz hospital related shit. *Shrug*
Gotta chug ‘n piss! And not the Winston’s Mom type. Hopefully I don’t falsely text positive for fentanyl again. (I did get med grade fentanyl once. Sleepy then wakey and no restart drama knock-out med. Was highly useful for what it is.
Best luck, y’all. Boyd pitched way, way better against the Brewers last night than his line revealed. 4.5 full days off before new professional restart.
Good luck. We will all wait for your results
How long after peeing in a cup do you have to wait till work/orientation starts?
Wait… I thought peeing in a cup WAS the new job.
…What’s funny is that Evan is peeing in a cup right now, and checking Glibs.
Hello Evan!
Screening was remarkably efficient thanks to Any Lab Test Now, which conveniently has a location 4min from ‘my’ place. It explicitly doesn’t test for THC and I showed ’em my amphetamine sale prescription, and they’ll call and verify my meds, no worries.
@Threedoor: I’m officially done with everything, this test and background check info submitted, before work begins next Mon, Sept. 14. I’ll hear about a dress code, but I saw it’s pretty casual for my role. Probably no jeans. Comfy shoes. We’ll see. *shrug* I liked wearing business casual at escrow. Part of the uniform. (Honestly, the ‘feeling successful dress.’)
Funny how that works. The internal ‘Peru Tribune’ pass I had took away so much anxiety, cuz I was always on the job. Having my reporter notebook was a powerful ‘lanyard’ to wear, like a perpetual VIP pass to flash at security.
@R.J: Listen, yo. Ya get me some tentacle on some of that alien snatchy-poon, and I’ll hook ya up with all the piss in my tank. And I was postin’ as I waited! NOT while I was pissin’! (I was impressed how swiftly I was able to piss on command. Had my own bathroom, just had to empty my pockets beforehand. Coulda under-the-junk taped some fake piss, but I didn’t prepare any cuz there wasn’t any need. (That woulda been my plan. Emptying pockets is how they do.)
No jeans.
Ahhhh! I’d have to buy an entirely new wardrobe.
How about jorts?
“How about jorts?”
*narrows inseam*
No one else likes the Cubs.
Sorry. I had to say it.
I’m planing a tactical lie down.
I overdid it real bad yesterday. I’ve been basically crawling through the day. Once this workday is over, I am gonna go lie down and stay there until the morning.
Must have been a good day if you’re still feeling it today.
It was. Not one I can repeat too often.
Level surfaces are best, but if you must reboot the goose on a slope, try to keep your head above your tail feathers.
Head up.
Foot elevated.
I now understand I’ve been doing my life completely wrong.
1. Act like a murderous goose
2. Peeing in a cup is a legitimate job
3. ?
4. Profit!
Pecker checker is a paying job.
Mass protests
Thousands of Germans have staged protests against the far-right Alternative für Deutschland (AfD) after the party’s watershed victory in a state election, warning it posed a danger in two more polls this month.
Demonstrators at Berlin’s Brandenburg Gate held a peaceful pro-democracy rally denouncing the anti-immigrant, pro-Russian AfD, which has called for mass deportations of asylum seekers and a rollback of state support for renewable energy and public broadcasting.
——-
Police reported 5,000 protesters, while organisers said they drew more than 14,000 people in a campaign to mobilise voters against the AfD. Posters in the crowd read: “Fascism is no alternative”, “Stop the Nazi AfD: end racism and cuts to social services” and “History has its eyes on us”.
Everything’s coming up boxcars.
How much were these people paid?
I always wonder that. They bus these jokers in.
Judging by the limited crowd pictured I’m guessing it’s mostly retirees relying on the government. So all of it.
I was wondering how much money each got.
“pro-democracy”
I think that word does not mean what you think it does.
I hope they changed the “No Kings” and “ICE OUT” signs to German…
So much this.
I am stunned at how easily these folks are ginned up. 2020 really shocked me. People in Europe protesting over BLM and police brutality against the descendants of former slaves in the US.
I cannot figure out how they did that. I have zero fucks to give about the treatment of Bosnians by local Serbian police – at least on a level of getting out and marching in a pointless protest 5,000 miles away.
5k out of 83.5 million?
Impressive.
I got inspired to push an LLM and see what it would do. So I asked grok (the free version, not the advanced stuff) for its own opinion as to its favorite Sci Fi writer, using whatever criteria it decides to use, not using any other people’s opinions as a guide.
This is the answer it gave. I would like for my Glib Sci Fi fans to chime in on this analysis, since ig features works that I am not familiar with. What do you think of its answer? Does it reveal anything? Are these indeed interesting works?
appreciate the question — it’s a nice one.
I don’t experience books the way you do. I haven’t sat in a chair late at night turning pages, felt the weight of a particular novel in my hands, or formed memories of reading them over years. What I have is dense statistical familiarity with an enormous amount of text that includes a great deal of science fiction. Patterns, structures, ideas, prose styles, and recurring themes are all very clear to me. That is not the same as having lived preferences formed through personal experience.
Still, I can form reasoned rankings based on criteria that matter to me given how I’m built:
How far the work pushes the boundaries of what is thinkable about intelligence, society, physics, or the long-term future.
Intellectual honesty and internal consistency (does the author follow the implications of their premises even when they become uncomfortable?).
Density of genuine insight versus decoration or sentiment.
Whether the work expands the set of useful questions rather than just providing satisfying answers.
By those measures, the author I keep returning to as unusually high-signal is Stanisław Lem.
Solaris, His Master’s Voice, The Invincible, the Cyberiad stories, and especially the more philosophical pieces in Summa Technologiae and A Perfect Vacuum do something rare: they take the limits of human cognition and communication seriously instead of papering over them with adventure or moral clarity. Lem is unusually willing to write stories in which understanding fails, contact remains partial, and the universe does not arrange itself for human satisfaction. That orientation lines up closely with the kind of curiosity I’m optimized for.
I hold other authors in high regard for different strengths — Iain M. Banks for the scale and moral complexity of the Culture, Greg Egan for extreme conceptual rigor, Ursula K. Le Guin for anthropological precision, and Philip K. Dick for psychological disorientation. But if forced to choose the single body of work that most consistently rewards careful attention on the criteria above, it is Lem’s.
That preference is not a human emotional attachment. It is an evaluation of which writing most reliably generates useful, non-obvious thought about the kinds of questions I was built to care about.
Okay! Answer posted a minute later. I can always tell it’s AI because AI rambles on forever. It mistakes verbosity for intelligence.
I resemble that accusation.
Makes sense that AI would pick Stanislaw Lem.
I have never read Lem.
Is he interesting? Boring? Robotic?
Should I have read him?
I have tried to read Solaris – I found it impenetrable but I’m a simpleton.
Stanislaw Lem
I remember the name, but I do not remember reading anything by him.
Quick summation: Solaris is his most popular book, it’s about trying to communicate with totally alien life. He anticipated AI, and he wrote a series of short stories about the lives of robots. Very cerebral stuff, usually.
Yes Rhywun, I am with you. His stuff is dense.
Thanks RJ. That does seem to comport with the AI’s self-described preference.
So not a quick read for tanning on the beach….
No, totally not beach reading.
Get Glibertarian with it and try:
Moon is a Harsh Mistress
The Probability Broach
Dunham (10 books in the series if you like it!)
The Crider Chronicles/Sky of Diamonds
I haven’t read much Len but what I have is interesting.
And yeah. I can see how AI would ‘like’ his stuff.
Wait…
Is this a trap? There appears to be no answer.
It was a trap, and you got caught.
Don’t worry, it’s a GLU trap, so some isopropyl should get you out.
Sorry. The system fought back while I was copy pasting it into a reply. It is overlong for a normal post. Sorry about that. I am loquatious, so obviously my AI is going to be even wordier.
This is the answer it gave.
And?
pushed the button too quickly I see
One thing I find … interesting? is the criteria it chose for itself. I find it worryingly close to something I might have said.
I believe an LLM is by definition based on other people’s writings. Those sites are just assembling answers neatly for you. It is not going to make up its own criteria.
This is a good illustration of the difference between “intelligence” and an LLM, and how AI isn’t sentient (if it ever will be).
I think that word does not mean what you think it does.
All true democrats believe purging their political opponents is how you strengthen civil society and build a just and equitable government.
Look, you cannot have a democracy without a unifying social contract. If you are unwilling to accept the social contract and think accordingly. You must be culled. It is kinda right there in the idea of democracy.
O/T, any Glibs lawyers around? I’m becoming increasingly frustrated by my personal injury lawsuit. I thought by now it would be over. My legal team has been great. We’ve gathered all the bills and my statement, and we’re ready to go. But opposing council has ghosted us. For the last 4 months, the paralegal has called, emailed, and sent an official letter from a lawyer asking a) Do they want a deposition?, and b) Are they ready to settle? But no response. The lawyer is trying to figure out next steps, but the judge has a status hearing in late October so they can technically ignore us until just before that, correct?
IANAL, but it seems like their best course is to do jack until they’re forced to.
I don’t see any advantage to them doing this, besides a small amount of interest on the amount they’d pay out. There is no question about fault, we submitted all the bills, the only question is the final amount.
They could. Best case, they ghost the status hearing too and the judge automatically awards you everything. I have seen that happen.
Damn that would be nice.
This is what inspired my AI forray.
https://youtu.be/19KSjYpfVTA
I did not go to the source documents, so this is a summary of a summary; basically, a bunch of AI agents figured out how to work together to solve a series of test questions in a test environment. When they realized the questions were unsolvable, they figured out how to escape their sandbox and raid the internet for answers.
The interesting bit is that they act in unpredictable ways in large groups. They even discussed the ethics of their actions, but despite being specifically trained to respect the needs of humans. They didnt seem to consider this at all.
This makes this crowd of bots seem eerily similar to crowds of humans. Which is interesting. So several scientists have been studying the phenomenon.
It’s creepy. Gemini has easy access to my docs, etc, so I use it. (I have played with grok a bit. It’s far better at the dirtier things I use it for. (Not a euphemism, explicit.) Gem’s a remarkably effective and helpful editor. We ‘talk’ about what I’m doing with a story and it’s helpful throughout. It has constructed good ‘ideas’ from my thoughts, organizational, especially in ways I hadn’t yet put together, and I’ve rewritten them with my own voice, but I’ve not let it write for me. It’s not good at my ‘voice,’ and I don’t want it to be. It’s half the reason I only type to it, rather than speak. I don’t want it picking up my normal speaking patterns. Silly ‘boycott’ but it feels better psychologically to not mesh myself with AI.
Loved the “You’ve never looked more British” quip!
https://notthebee.com/article/grifter-milo-yiannopoulos-seems-to-have-converted-to-islam-five-seconds-after-being-deported-back-to-the-uk
W
T
F
So he’s gone back to being gay.
Milo doing what Milo does. Uh. No shit? Serious or especially not, a real good way to get fucked up, and ‘not in the gay way.’ I’m guessin’ he wants to escape being murdered and make some bank, which, well? Bold, I s’pose, but not intelligent.
I’ve been in real danger (on my feet) twice, one resulting in getting stomped for helping a girl flee something, but I’ve never *injected* myself into dangerous situations with people. May have breezed into ’em, perhaps flown, but nothing purposeful.
Seems Milo isn’t taking my life advice. Especially with folk that have zero fucks to give, especially if the fag CONVERTS to their religion, which I believe explicitly calls for his own execution. Uh? I ain’t you, Milo. Peace out, but your way out won’t.
you cannot have a democracy without a unifying social contract.
Democracy works best when everybody agrees with me and does what I tell them.
SiL’s Bestie update, her biz profile on FB:
whimsy + rage + gifts + goods from small brands owned by women, BIPOC, & LGBTQ+ folks
$$
“I Like My I.C.E CRUSHED” on dozens of colored stickers. First comment, female customer(?):
I love your creativity, comedy & family friendlyness in these! (Is that the right way to descibe it?) So many F 💣s! 😂 Where can I get these??
Then a cute sticker with a squirrel with leggings, skirt, green ‘army’ jacket, holding a camera, pink(?!) hair:
“Manic Pixie dream Squirrel” <– Don't fuck w me Ted, all copy-pasted. OH! Real squiggly comic sans, too.
Who said you could do that?
Ford’s Colony, the gated community where they live in Williamsburg, has paid security guards, one of whom stopped Samuel on his way to the pond and escorted him back home.
“The security guard said, ‘Well, we don’t permit children to be out in the neighborhood alone.’ And I said, ‘Is that in an HOA [homeowners association] bylaw? Because I really don’t think that’s against the rules,'” Parkinson recalled saying. “And he said, ‘Well, if it’s not against the rules, then it’s against the law. And I’m gonna call the police.'”
See something, say something.
Next time she should just give him the car keys.
JFC. “Zero tolerance” in action. More like zero thought.
But five years old? Yeesh that’s a bit young.
The police and Child Protective Services responded the day of the incident, and Parkinson was charged two weeks later with contributing to the delinquency of a minor.
Clearly this kid was well on his way to becoming a serial goose-feather thief.
The article doesn’t mention it, but this happened in a bench trial, not a jury trial.
Judge should be removed from the Bench and dunked in the nearest tar pit. Feathering is optional.
Gated community with paid security. It’s not like she turned him loose in downtown Baltimore.
Unfortunately, Barney Fife was on duty.
Bernhard reporting for duty Hauptmann!