Hat and Hair Cartoon Rerun II: Ep 5

by | Sep 23, 2026 | Hat and Hair | 62 comments

Oh, poor Pie. And the ending is more appropriate than ever. Subscribe!

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CPRM

CPRM

Organic troll farmer.

62 Comments

  1. Evan from Evansville

    Who the fuck is she?

    • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

      pie

      • R.J.

        OOOOOoooh. Time has passed. I was thinking of a certain vampire.

      • Evan from Evansville

        I don’t think I ever knew who Pie was, other than our own. I still don’t. I believe in SF Land, I never knew who Astrix(?) was, either. I think she was rumored to be cute IRL. Hmm. I’m frequently wrong in all sorts of novel ways, somehow.

      • Evan from Evansville

        Oh! Harp is Pie! Pie is Harp! I see how the rumors started. (Not in the Finkle/Einhorn way.)

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        pie is Sarah Huckabee Sanders.

      • slumbrew

        I can’t even with you people.

        Pie

      • Evan from Evansville

        So what you’re saying is, I’ve got pies to choose from?

      • rhywun

        pie is Sarah Huckabee Sanders

        That rings true. I never heard of that Harp gal.

      • R.J.

        I think Harp is the new pie but it makes sense that this cartoon is about the old pie. Clearly I should not trust Brave AI so much anyway.

      • rhywun

        To be fair, Magats do surround themselves with interchangeable blonde sycophants.

      • Chafed

        I can’t believe it took slumbrew chiming in from France to straighten this out.

      • slumbrew

        I am repatriated.

      • Grummun

        Pie at work.

  2. Evan from Evansville

    I’d like to befriend Javier Milei. “To make his case, [Milei] pointed to the U.N.’s role in restrictions during the COVID-19 pandemic, which he called a type of “genocide,” and the “gender agenda, environmental extremism and unchecked immigration.”

    Milei said, “During the pandemic, bodies under the auspices of this house put themselves before scientific evidence and the sovereignty of nations and promoted forced lockdown policies throughout the world.

    “Where some allege a public health policy error, we see a global experiment in social control disguised as science. And when a state wearing public health blinkers deprives its population of the right to work, to receive an education and to bid farewell to their dead, this results in millions of avoidable deaths; there is a word for it, genocide.”
    —
    Milei went on to say that the UN had failed to effectively combat terrorism and human rights abuses around the world and “allowed chaos, violence and international terrorism to flourish.” He alleged that member countries talk a big moral game but actively shelter “bloodthirsty dictatorships and regimes that stone women in the streets,” and that member states are consistently anti-Israel but ignore “Islamic terrorism and the genocide of Christians in Africa.”
    —
    “This amounts to a curious mixture of anarchy and tyranny, impotence in the face of those who break the most basic rules, such as bloodthirsty dictatorships and terrorist organizations coupled with Orwellian control and impositions on liberal democracies that abide by the rules.”
    ======
    He seems fun, as well. Would hang out with, together push folk from helicopters.

    • rhywun

      Dayum.

      Are there more than two world leaders willing to tell the truth to that miserable outfit…?

    • R.J.

      He gives awesome speeches.

    • Evan from Evansville

      That last bit, especially. He’s by far the best, these days. Thatcher, back when, her line about how ALL groups became better off under her leadership: “You’d rather the POOR be POORER, as long as the rich were less rich!”

      Shit like that. *mwah*

    • rhywun

      actively shelter “bloodthirsty dictatorships and regimes that stone women in the streets,” and that member states are consistently anti-Israel but ignore “Islamic terrorism and the genocide of Christians in Africa.”

      Surely this isn’t the first time such obvious truths have been directed at those grandees over the years. And been ignored every time. Almost makes one wonder why honest people waste their time talking to those assholes.

      • Evan from Evansville

        *hands up* Osama won. People are too scared to call out Islam.

        “Oh terrorism? Oh, we don’t say that. Just hijackings. Those Christians? *closes eyes* What Christians? Christianity is bad anyway.”

    • Chafed

      I thought I could only get so hard. I was wrong.

    • Mojeaux

      We all know why Islam doesn’t get called out.

      They are very earnest and sincere about their promise to kill you for it. They don’t bluff and they follow through.

    • Grumbletarian

      “Where some allege a public health policy error, we see a global experiment in social control disguised as science. And when a state wearing public health blinkers deprives its population of the right to work, to receive an education and to bid farewell to their dead, this results in millions of avoidable deaths; there is a word for it, genocide.”

      I don’t call it genocide, just tyranny. Let’s not follow the left into redefining words for emotional effect, shall we?

  3. Evan from Evansville

    “At a New York event to mark the 20th anniversary of the release of the film and his subsequent climate advocacy work, Gore, now 78, joked: “I always say if it hadn’t been for me, we might have a big problem right now” when asked about the progress made over the past two decades.

    “The scientists unfortunately have been proven to be absolutely correct,” Gore said on Wednesday. “In some important ways, they may have even understated what the damage is doing. The resistance has been more durable and sustained than I expected it to be.”
    https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/sep/23/al-gore-climate-crisis-an-inconvenient-truth

    Yeah, he wasn’t joking. And how much shit can you possibly be? ‘Religious conviction’ is the only reason people still believe the scary stories, and they won’t voluntarily convert. Far too invested in the skydaddy, they’ve purchased indulgences to assuage their own fears of disappointing him.

    Religious mania. Yay.

    • rhywun

      It’s only been 20 years since that claptrap?! Feels like a lot longer.

    • Chafed

      I think it’s people who aren’t invested in the skydaddy who still buy what he’s selling.

      • Evan from Evansville

        For those buying, I think Gaia SkyDaddy has taken over for Jesus’ SkyDaddy. Though, rather than replaced, the conviction of their Belief simply activates the same parts of the brain that would’ve been stimulated by another deity or faith.

        ‘Scientists,’ and ‘Experts,’ are the new clergy, whose prescriptions must be followed. (But only if they’re the right sort of priest.)

    • Rat on a train

      My carbon footprint is still less than a Gore.

  4. Evan from Evansville

    These two work oddly well together. Here is SiL’s bestie talking about them getting ‘matching’ tatts in ’23. It’s so… typically childish.

    “We finally DID IT! 🎨
    @cheekylittlegoat and I have been talking about getting bff tattoos for yeeeeaarrrs, but couldn’t land in what in the world we wanted! …and I’m *super* indecisive. It’s my Libra moon. 💅🏻 Anyway, we were shopping at @homespunindy last fall buying Daria stickers and suddenly went — omg. DARIA AND JANE. Two of the best best friends of the 90s. 📺 @crosleytattoos was absolutely lovely; in fact, Rach and I booked our next appointments when we were there and IS THIS HOW IT HAPPENS, GUYS? 🤣
    ====
    Here’s an op-ed from The Guardian by a gay woman who’s married. Her inner giddy-giddy is perhaps more thoughtful, but really dumb thoughts.

    “I tried to become a gay tradwife – and failed abysmally
    My sourdough starter died and my lone tomato nearly ruined me financially and emotionally. How did domestic drudgery and hard labour become an aspirational aesthetic?”
    —
    I decided to ward off existential angst by throwing myself into tradwife-adjacent hobbies such as gardening and baking. I don’t know if it’s possible to be a gay tradwife but, after Googling the subject, I did find a magazine piece entitled The Curious Case of the Bisexual Tradwife.”
    ====
    These people really try hard to make sure they’re being seen in the ‘correct way.’ Why do you care what other people think of the hobbies you choose? I mean, I think everyone’s staring at me and documenting my every motion and calculating each misstep, action and word I say, because they obviously are, but I’m not so sure I understand why everyone thinks it’s happening to *them,* too. So vain, they are. The voices aren’t about *them.*

  5. rhywun

    Like any proper Glib I have read a lot of dystopian syfy over the years and I have asked myself, “Can I survive if shit really hits the fan?” I know it will be a challenge for me, to say the least. I’ll be the computer geek, for as long as that remains possible.

    And then I read entitled shit from retards like this. They won’t stand a fucking chance.

    • rhywun

      That was a reply to Evan’s tradwife cosplay quotes.

      • Evan from Evansville

        My anti-Patriarchy SiL fortunately has my bro, a very competent and capable man, to keep her and the boys safe and well.

        “They won’t stand a fucking chance.” Yep. The entitlement oozes from their pores, the goo created from their conscience through heavy doses of feelgoodery.

        My SiL and her bestie… they aren’t very bright people. Knowingly or not, and Colin’s a very planned, measured person, he chose her, in part, specifically because she’d unquestioningly go along with whatever he thinks or wants. Makes planning so much easier, no?

      • rhywun

        My BFF, a man I have known since 1988, married an overeducated nutjob Hillary fan. A lot of her insanity has rubbed off on him but get him alone and ply him with drinks or drugs and it’s like he’s one of us.

    • Gdragon

      When I read/watch stories about people trapped on deserted islands and I consider myself I always think something like “Well, someone on that island is gonna have to do all of the math once the batteries in their calculator run out, I just need to survive until then…”

  6. Chafed

    Is the little Mexican girl at the end Dora The Explorer?

    • Evan from Evansville

      “Ten. Thousand. Dollars.”

  7. dbleagle

    From an American expat in Euroland. I don’t know the original website.
    ——————————-
    Die Linke’s election victory in Berlin the other day may mark the beginning of a political development that deserves scrutiny in its own right, quite apart from the victories of Alternative für Deutschland.

    First, we need to take a detour through my home country.

    It is uncomfortable – even for me – to write something as categorical as what follows. But I know of no examples that would disprove what I am about to say.

    There is no sphere of life in a Western country that has not experienced the following development:

    Whenever immigrants from the Greater Middle East take control of a particular sector, that sector deteriorates. It becomes corrupt and, slowly but surely, Middle Eastern.

    Taxis are perhaps the best example. In Greater Copenhagen (and probably most of the rest of Denmark), the service is abysmal. It shares nothing but its name with the good service it once was.

    A typical taxi driver today speaks either no Danish or only rudimentary Danish. He has no idea where anything is. So you have to give him all the directions yourself.

    The drivers’ Danish is so poor that you cannot even ask them to enter the address into their GPS. They cannot understand you when you spell it out.

    When it comes to customer service, you are lucky to receive even grudging, perfunctory help lifting very heavy suitcases into the boot. No smiles, no friendliness, no willingness to accommodate the customer. Help with heavy luggage, however, is not something a taxi passenger should count on.

    The taxi service, in other words, has been utterly ruined – yet you are still expected to pay full price.

    Every other sector taken over by immigrants develops in the same way: convenience stores. Pizzerias. Grocery shops. Social services.

    Before long, lawlessness sets in. And good service is non-existent.

    As I said, I wish I were wrong. That there were examples to the contrary. But there are none.

    Take schools, for example. Naïve Danes believed that “our institutions will civilise the barbarians”. They did not put it that way. But that is what they meant.

    Instead, the opposite happens: the barbarians barbarise our institutions. Schools in which immigrants take control become engulfed in violence, social control, low academic standards and conspiracy theories.

    There is no doubt that Sweden’s Vänsterpartiet and Germany’s Die Linke are out-and-out Islamo-leftist parties.

    If these two parties follow the logic that has inexorably prevailed everywhere else, Vänsterpartiet and Die Linke will, over time, become increasingly Middle Eastern as political organisations.

    They will become Trojan horses, admitted into institutions at the municipal, regional and national levels.

    Once inside, they will cease to think in terms shaped by democratic norms. They will become instruments of power politics, dedicated to advancing the tribe’s interests as forcefully as possible within municipalities, regions and the state.

    Think about everything you’ve ever learned about Habermas and democratic dialogue – and flip it completely upside down. Then you’ll know what I mean.

    Rather than conventional Western political parties, Vänsterpartiet and Die Linke will become machines for maximising sectional advantage, grabbing as much public money as they possibly can for their supporters. They will promote every conceivable Islamist agenda.

    And, to cap it all, they will do so in the language of the woke left – the language they learn from the left itself.

    So look forward to demands to abolish the police. To grant citizenship to all immigrants. Look forward to endless claims that it is the native populations of countries such as Sweden and Germany who are the racists. Look forward to falling academic standards across all educational institutions. Look forward to hatred of Jews. Look forward to recognition of Gaza – that is, Hamas. Look forward to ever more antisocial behaviour and violence in the streets – none of which will be investigated. Look forward to increasingly corrupt trials (in which jurors will be more consistent than ever in acquitting “their own”). Look forward to electoral fraud on a scale you would not have thought possible. Look forward to extremely porous boundaries between the new Islamo-leftist party machines and organised crime.

    Die Linke is a direct successor to the SED – the East German Communist Party. They have quite literally wrecked the whole of eastern Germany before – and now they have started doing it again.

    While all the respectable politicians in the centre wring their hands over the AfD, the SED’s successor party has allied itself with Berlin’s Islamists – and is fraternising with criminal immigrant gangs.

    I predict that Berlin will rapidly descend into Seattle-style chaos. That it will become an Islamist Gotham City.

    It will not be pretty. And Sweden could go the same way.

    • Chafed

      That is a scary, sad, and probably accurate analysis. I truly wonder if western Europe is going to wake up to what’s happening in front of them.

    • Mojeaux

      The only thing I wanna be pedantic about is that these aren’t Trojan horses. The white left is welcoming them in with champagne and truffles.

      • Chafed

        For sure

    • Evan from Evansville

      I wonder how many Europeans look at Trump, dream for the same, and submissively know to keep their mouths shut. Little flashes of discontent pop up, here and there, tiny and only occasionally, but nothing lasting. It’s really sad, like seeing an abused mom, who does know it’s better to keep silent than to incur the wrath they’re afraid of.

      And Mo’s right. They are welcoming ’em in. I don’t know if there’s enough muttering in dark alleys for England to even think of rising against the government that actively despises them.

      Such a perfect phrase: Suicidal empathy.

    • Evan from Evansville

      This goes to both the essay and Mo’s response: “Politically, Macomb County leans Republican. In the 2024 presidential election, the county voted 55.8% to 42.1% for Donald Trump. So how did a city in a county that backed Trump by double digits end up being governed by a woke traitor and being overrun by unassimilating Muslims?

      Because we let them. Like we always do.”

      My thoughts: It’ll take another Big Event for things to change, on my fronts. The natural result of so much prosperity. Slows the mind.
      https://pjmedia.com/aj-christopher/2026/09/23/muslim-problems-american-solutions-n4957585

    • rhywun

      Europe may be lost but it’s not too late for the US.

      As I said, I wish I were wrong. That there were examples to the contrary. But there are none.

      FWIW, similar countrymen drive every taxi and run most of the bodegas in NYC. They speak decent English and are generally helpful. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

      From what I have read, Europeans do little or nothing to even attempt to assimilate their vibrant new neighbors. We certainly need to be vigilant in the US but things are going much more badly there. We don’t (yet) have immigrant no-go zones. Our no-go zones are run by natives lol

  8. Evan from Evansville

    Houston leads the AL West, at 78-79. That’s fucking pathetic.

    (Tonight hasn’t ended yet.)

    • Rat on a train

      Woot. The AL West leader is 78-80 with 4 games remaining.

    • Ted S.

      Good morning!

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Sean and Ted’S.!

      • Gender Traitor

        ::whispers:: Good morning, U!

      • Ted S.

        ⏰

      • UnCivilServant

        Morning, GT.

        It appearsd Ted’s alarm is broken and he’s asking for a wake up call

      • Gender Traitor

        How are both you gentlemen this morning?

      • UnCivilServant

        I have cheese, so things can’t be too bad

      • Gender Traitor

        😋️👍️🧀️

      • Ted S.

        I’ve got a three-day weekend coming up, so I’m not bad.

      • Gender Traitor

        😎️🏖️🏄‍♂️️🌞️

      • Ted S.

        🏔️

  9. Ted S.

    Apparently there was an anti-lithium battery farm protest a few blocks from me last weekend.

    When I came back from Slide Mountain last Saturday the anti-Trump protesters weren’t where they’d been the last couple of times I passed that location. I wonder if they moved.

    • UnCivilServant

      Same people, different signs, same $