Genre – Comedy Film
Movie Total Runtime – 1 Hours 36 Minutes
Spoilers – Yes
Technically, I may have seen this movie before. I remember some scenes, but not enough to say what happened. That falls under Rule C, so I can still review it. The premise is spelled out in the opening text. New Mayor has decided to drop any requirements for admission to the Police Academy. This allows our cast of misfits to gain admittance to someplace they’d never earn a spot by fitness for purpose. We know this isn’t a matter of diversity, because of the characters already on the force. Captain Reed is Black, and Sergeant Callahan is a woman, so the department has admitted both demographics for a while despite the chief’s rant in his first scene. So, our misfits only got in because of the elimination of all fitness standards.
I know it’s supposed to be a comedy, but my firearms safety hackles get raised several times. In the surprise going away party for the high-strung security guard, he has his finger on the trigger before opening a door, then fires in the dark without identifying what was in his line of fire. I know it’s supposed to be a gag about how unsuited this guy is to be armed. I just couldn’t laugh at it. This comes back when they are at the police range and the comedy fat guy negligently discharges a shotgun then sweeps the crowd as he turns around in confusion. At any gun range that shotgun would have been out of his hands and he’d have been back on the bus before you can say “Safety Violation.” Unsafe handling jokes just suck all the humor out of the situation.
I did laugh a few times, but not nearly as much as the filmmakers intended. This does present the biggest problem when reviewing comedies. Humor is subjective. And a lot of the humor in this movie comes from pranks played by the designated protagonist on other characters. Pranks are not funny. Ever. I don’t like the designated protagonist. He’s an asshole who is the cause of all of his own problems. Towards the end of the movie he does start helping other characters with their problems, but it doesn’t counterbalance the ill will built up over 2/3rds of the runtime. Most of the misfits have their own small character arcs, but at no time do I trust most of these people with a position of authority. I was never given a reason to root for any of these misfits, other than any ingrained biases I might have had.
I’m not going to harp on the humor any more.
So what else is there to talk about to fill out the word count?
I guess I could talk about the misfits. In no particular order, we have the whispering woman – short, chubby, unable to make it through the obstacle course, unable to speak assertively – I’m not sure what her motivation for joining the police force was. She does manage to raise her voice at the end of the movie, and roll onto the wall that had thwarted her on the obstacle course. So I suppose we’re intended to take that as improvement? We have no indication if she’s got any brains since she never demonstrates one way or another, and she still has trouble with the bare minimum after her progress.
We have the comedy fat guy, who has much the same difficulties as the whispering woman, and the same arc, which really doesn’t distinguish him except for being fatter.
We have Hightower, who is the exceedingly tall guy. His difficulties come from his temper, his superhuman strength, and his size. His temper gets him kicked out of the academy, but he’s let back in for saving the Lieutenant at the end.
We have the comedically accident prone guy who has no arc and is there to cause slapstick.
We have the Lothario who puts on a fake Latino accent to seduce women but ends up in a henpecked relationship with Sergeant Callahan. Not sure what the joke was with this guy, must have missed it.
We have the rich girl, who doesn’t have an arc because she exists to be the designated romantic interest for the designated protagonist, despite the lack of any real chemistry between the two.
We have the designated protagonist, who is the cause of all of his own problems. I may have said that before, but it’s worth repeating. It’s clear he isn’t stupid and could have found himself a productive vocation before being forced into the academy by Captain Reed, but simply self-sabotaged repeatedly. Too prideful to get on the first rung of the ladder in whatever path through life he actually wanted, if he bothered to pick one. I have no sympathy for the man. His cruelty to random strangers such as the comedy fat guy early on firmly set me against him for the remainder of the movie. A “Prank” of intentionally sending the guy to the wrong place to stir up a commotion in the self-serving effort to get thrown out is still cruel.
We have the high-strung gun nut. As I mentioned, he is not the sort of person who should be around firearms. His reckless disregard for human life in pursuit of the big boom makes him a danger to himself and others. He has no arc.
We have the lackeys who always operate as a double act and assist the lieutenant in trying to get the misfits to quit. They exist to be humiliated by the designated protagonist.
That’s all of the misfits. We also have the lieutenant, who serves as primary antagonist. There is the commandant, who is borderline mentally handicapped. And Sergeant Callahan, who is a German caricature without the accent.
In all, I was kinda disappointed. This was supposed to be a classic comedy.
Season 2 🥳
Never had any desire to watch it. The kind of humor they were peddling doesn’t appeal to me.
I’ve also never seen it. The whisperer and fatty have arcs! They do get better! Yaaaay, indeed. Don’t be dismissive!
“(The protagonist) could have found himself a productive vocation before being forced into the academy… ” I ‘enjoy’ that being a cop is seen as being so low on the totem. Not sure how to change that, but yikes. I can’t otherwise imagine someone actually *wanting* to be an LEO. Other than openly wanting to empower and extend his assholery.
(Reminds me: My uncle worked in prisons for a long time, but would have to check in what capacity. I wanna think it was education, in some capacity. Huh.)
re pranks: I hate ’em, too. Jackass? Tarantino’s right, it’s fucking brilliant. But ONLY when they do shit to themselves. That’s fucking amazing in so many ways. ‘Do whatcha want Steve-O, and I’ll pay ya damn well, but keep it to yourself,’ is my take.
There’s a followed and strict rule that no bday songs are to occur for me in public. Private is ok cuz if it includes nephews.
Rankings: 6.7/10 on imdb; 41% on metacritic; 58% on rotton tomatoes.
But Google users? “87% liked this movie!”
Google users are the general population, and therefore functionally retarded.
I was editing and then deleted a preface of ‘this shows how dumb the audience is, or to be optimistic, shows how many people find happiness in the smallest and simplest of things.’
The latter makes me happier, but I remember to never forget the all-encompassing reality of how dumb the average person is. (I’m an average person most of the time. Represent.)
Does Trump’s EO allow for OT football comments during the first 30 minutes of a Sunday afternoon post?
Because neither of these teams look like they want to win.
On one hand, I’m a free speech absolutist.
On the other hand, I still like engagement with what I wrote.
I’m not going to force people to stay on topic – I just get a little sad once the topic has moved on. 😔
See below for on topic.
These days I can only keep one topic in my head at a time. I blame the algorithm.
I was a kid when saw “Police Academy”. I don’t remember which ones I saw it so long ago. I have nothing to add, so I went off topic right away.
Three for four so far this weekend on the teams I rooted for losing. Can Chicago make it four?
“Humor is subjective “
In this case, only the person who wrote that thought it was funny. All of the Police Academy series, follow up movies, etc… just took the concept to hell in a handbasket.
There are upcoming reviews for Police Academy 2 and 3…
I salute your perseverance.
Dear God you watched more than one of these?!
Rhy – I bought 3 movie edition from the Blockbuster Bargain Bin in Bend Oregon when I was there (along with a two pack of Blues Brothers).
I did the same thing Rhy.
Flag on the field: “It grossed $8.5 million in its opening weekend and more than $149 million worldwide, against a budget of $4.8 million…”
Doubling the budget the first weekend is pretty nice. Also reminds me of Big Explosion movies and shit like Avatar that look good and exciting, slapstick is understandable and funny overseas. (Never seen any Avatar flicks.) They certainly cared back then about the money, but I’m not sure they were producing things kinda specifically for that those days. Kinda like how China is never the villain, and nor are Arabs, AFAIK.
For some reason Michael Winslow started showing up on my YouTube feed last week. Weird.
Also videos with a young Jennifer Connelly. I strongly approve of this algorithmic output.
I left out commentary on the beach party scene in this movie, since my memory was that it lasted longer. Maybe it was my age when I first saw it. I hope nobody went and edited down the runtime.
She came up on a thread here in the last month pension remember corectly.
I get the impression that the average episode of Hill Street Blues, ostensibly a drama, (maybe a “dramedy?”) might have been funnier than this movie.
I haven’t seen an episode of that show in ages.
I’ve barely seen any, but I know I saw some, but not more than a handful.
I still don’t understand why you’re doing this to yourself.
Because I have 54 more to go. Some of them are bound to be good.
Architectural Digest profiles five people (three on the left, one conservative, and one libertarian) that moved due to politics:
Over the past decade, Brakey grew disheartened as he watched out-of-staters move to southern Maine, and felt that the state was “lurching very aggressively in a more progressive direction.” After COVID, when Maine and many other nearby states enacted policies around masking, vaccines, and social distancing, Brakey saw New Hampshire as his out, or as he calls it, “the only state in New England moving in a direction of freedom.” He was particularly interested in the Free State Project, a movement to establish a voting bloc large enough to have a significant political impact. “It seemed to me to be the only Libertarian strategy working in the country,” he says.
Gets a look at the lead pic, laughs, closes tab.
JFC these people are tedious. LOOK AT ME AND MY LUXURY BELIEFS! APPROVE!!
Idaho is flooded with people fleeing the left coast. They tend to be a little bit more conservative than the average Boise resident but very progie compared to the rest of Idaho.
They will bring us closer to where Washington state sadly.
https://www.dailystar.co.uk/love-sex/im-3ft-8ins-cruel-jokes-36555030
Relevant:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=osOLmUaL6ck&t=104s
That’s an awfully long article on such a short topic.
Is there an equivalent term to “chubby chaser”?
Pudgy picker-upper.
After my divorce I dated a midget for a bit. I was sad when we split up….I was nuts over her.
But I got tired of her asking for money. She was always a little short.
*Golf clap
Wait, you dated Kevin Hart?
I want her buried with the family. We have a little graveyard on our land up here. My sister’s leaning toward cremation. I think we all should be here. Maybe that’s macabre. I know it’s nothing to do with me. But we belong together.
Maybe after a little thought she’ll lean in your direction. I don’t know how I’d respond if it happened to me, certainly.
Is it possible to bury the ashes there?
My condolences. I just went to funeral of my wife’s friend yesterday. She would have turned 56 on Friday. That was awful, but I can’t imagine somebody that young.
Guessing the protagonist is Guttenberg? He’s a sure sign that a terrible movie is coming.
Took me a moment, my mind went to the German print maker.
The phrase “Book ’em” works either way.
I wanted to make a joke about illuminating, but debated how obvious the wordplay would be.
I ended up putting too much work into the details.
Guttenberg in the ‘80s was just the Tom Hanks fallback when the studio didn’t have a Tom Hanks budget. Also, he sucked at acting. That being said, the first two Police Academy movies were very stupid but solid.
L’il Rhywun had not much memory of him beyond the terrible acting and a nice bod.
I liked The Boys from Brazil.
Cue “Stonecutters” song from The Simpsons:
“Who makes Steve Gutenberg a star?”
This game is dumb.
Police Academy suffered from the lack of Bobcat Goldthwait and his peculiar form of humour.
I did enjoy the second one quite a bit.
Despite never seeing any of the movies, I’d heard enough about them to wonder, “Wasn’t this the movie series with the actor who could make all those sound effects with his voice?” An internet search confirmed that…but I gather you didn’t find that particular aspect of the movie worth a mention, at least not for this particular film. 😐
That character did not contribute anything of note to the story, or comedy.
You continue to baffle me. Out of curiosity, what was the last movie that made you laugh? Or the last novel you enjoyed?
You’re asking the wrong questions. It implies you have drawn a conclusion based upon less than all of the information readily available.
This series is called “The Unwatched” because it consists of content that I own but have not watched. Most of them are left on the shelf because they fail to entice me to view them on their onw merits – I look and am unenthused at best. This means that the works I picked up and enjoyed are already excluded from the sample, and we’re likely to see more negative reviews, simply because the sample has already been selected for the materials I’m less drawn to. (there’s a link to the first article that describes ways I end up owning these things without intention of watching). So there is an unknown data set of materials I did buy and have watched where the materials I liked are more concentrated.
I am not going to detail these, and just leave you to wonder.
Behold a man willing to write thousands of words about what he hates, and a not a single sentence about what he likes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSOcRHkII8c
“we’re likely to see more negative reviews”
Keep them up. They are entertaining.
I have to mention though I speak as someone who has not been to a movie theater in decades nor watched TV or seen movies on littler screens. Hell, I don’t even like to watch or listen to podcasts, it requires too much attention. Science and history documentaries, on the other hand . .
That is the only thing I remember about this movie. I guess I have been present in a room where other people were watching this but I have never actively watched it myself.
That is a large, large flag.
No NFL credence here, but I’ve got a team to root for in Chicago over fucking LA. (Cubs and Mom’s from there. And LA sucks.) Good for home teams to have the cold advantage over the warm-weathered.
Sorry. I’m rooting for Chicago which means they’ll lose.
I’ve never gambled on sports, no interest. But here’s my legitimate strategy: I’d bet AGAINST the Cubs. That way, if they win.. I win! And if they lose.. I win! This especially works if you’re using your house or yacht as collateral on your bet.
(I have bet $2 or $5 on horse races on two or three occasions. Dad’d make $2 bets for me at Ellis Park growing up and we’ve gone back, to carry the ‘tradition. I’ve played poker house games, but I’ve never played any game at a casino.)
Every team, now that Texans are out, is from a Blue state.
In junior high I thought this movie was hilarious. I have not seen it in years. Apparently it did not age well.
I can see a middle schooler’s sense of humor fitting better than mine.
I loved all of the Police Academies when I was a kid. Laughs for days.
Disliking Police Academy movies and Steve Gutenberg, that I can understand. But the sound effects guy (Michael Winslow, I think)? C’mon, he did the same bit in Spaceballs, and a good time was had by all.
I think he even did self parody in Futurama:
Other things UCS dislikes: Sherlock Holmes, Asimov, Vonnegut, Heinlein
I mean, if you hate Heinlein, you should try Harry Harrison because his novel Bill the Galactic Hero gives all the space marine tropes the belt to ass treatment.
my bad, wasn’t him
anyway, here’s the clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XpQ-sHaptc
Now you’re arguing in bad faith and making shit up.
Statement “That character did not contribute anything of note to the story, or comedy.” – Derpy Reads “I hate the actor and his work in all things.”
You remember Holmes but forget Christie.
You want a book recommendation – I’ll give you two – “In Memory Yet Green” and “In Joy Still Felt”.
I believe you said you read “Cat’s Cradle” and didn’t care for it. I strongly recommend Slaughterhouse 5 and am kinda surprised ya haven’t read it. (Not surprised that you don’t read things or what you choose to read, but that ‘Cradle’ was your first. To be fair, when grading himself against himself, those two are the only A+s he gives himself.
I love his AP style, where things are clearly laid out.. but then the last sentence, still in style, is beautifully mind-blowing. I *really* enjoyed his memoir.
Did you read those books and enjoy them? I suspect not.
I can’t see you reading the autobiography of an author whose books you dislike.
this clip seems to fit:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqU8EQ6G1i0
Then you are both wrong and too wedded to your conclusions to accept information contra to it.
Have a nice evening.
I asked for the last novel you enjoyed, and you give me 2 autobiographies by the same guy (an author you dislike).
Am I really the one being obtuse here?
I intentionally declined to tell you. I’ve decided to let you remain misguided.
Fiction I like to read are part of the private persona that I keep offline.
Then you are both wrong and too wedded to your conclusions to accept information contra to it.
It took you this long to figure that out about Derpy?
@Ted – I tend to be an optimist.
I will be honest, Evan, Slaughterhouse 5 was one of the worst book I have read. Now, that is me, and my taste is my own. Indeed, lots of people love that book, but I thought it was a cop out. Don’t like Catch-22 for the same reasons.
I don’t mind if people don’t like anything, really, perhaps other than oxygen. (Depends.) But even if one doesn’t like the aliens, time travel, and yep, all that and more in Slaughterhouse, but getting to his stories about the firebombing and what he witnessed when he was a POW there is worth the read, IMO.
The sci-fi aspects may be odd, but I gather that is partly as a coping method to write about the horrible shit he experienced, while keeping sane when rethinking about said shit over and over. Adds some mental distance.
@ZWAK
I had to read them both in school and chose never to read them again. No impression on me whatsoever.
I suspect they’re hippie bait – the teachers were all hippies and hippie-adjacent in the 70s and 80s.
You’ve just reminded by of Johnathan Livingston Seagull.
*thousand yard stare*
An eternity in a two hour class period. How did they make such a short book so long?
Tying into last thread: “In 1986, Winslow presented the Best Sound Effects Editing Oscar to Charles L. Campbell and Robert Rutledge for their work on Back to the Future.”
*taps nose* Think about it.
Speaking of Harry Harrison, his books about The Stainless Steel Rat are a good, humorous read. Definitely aimed at the younger reader, but still.
Can. Not. Imagine them being made into a movie for the modern audience.
I’ve read two of the stainless steel rat books. One where he shot his own foot off, and one with filthy space commies. Or some simulacrum of filthy space commies. I just know their supposed economic system was nonsensical and unsustainable. I think the two were directly adjacent chronologically as they’d stitched a giant chicken foot to him by the start of the second due to the shortage of spare parts which had led to the decision in the first.
I do not remember much of anything else from the books.
I was thinking the other day that it’s rare for people to watch movies that were made more than 10 years before they were born. That creates a kind of collective amnesia that allows for remakes and reboots.
It’s interesting to read plot summaries of movies made before 1920 and see how various ideas get recycled.
There are only 7 basic plots and 36 dramatic situations.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Thirty-Six_Dramatic_Situations
As somebody that takes lots of trains – that aren’t the panacea that many politicians here think.
At least 21 killed, dozens injured as 2 trains derail in southern Spain
I can’t recall if anybody posted this story earlier in the week.