Woman Ordered Medicine by Mail, Got a Box of Human Fingers Instead
A woman in Hopkinsville, Kentucky, was waiting for a shipment of medicine and medical supplies. When it finally arrived, she ripped the box open and found that it was filled with human arms and fingers instead. That’s one hell of a mix-up.
Christian County Coroner Scott Daniel confirmed the incident, saying the box was originally meant for “surgical training.” Somewhere between an airline, a freight company, and a courier, the package was misrouted, turning a routine delivery into what could easily be interpreted as a threat from the mob.
Daniel personally showed up at the woman’s home to collect the remains and stored them in the morgue until the courier retrieved them the next morning. The woman, after an understandably sleepless night, eventually received her correct shipment of medical supplies.
No one has ever sent me a box of fingers; I am so jealous. Will I ever get my box of fingers? Always a bridesmaid, I guess.
I’ve decided to finally give in and embrace literary femgooners. My first book:
Back-40 Body Farm
A young woman laid off from of job of sending emails no one reads finds employment and love at a rural body farm where she jacks-off skeletons to collect their bone-semen.
Comps: Morning Glory Milking Farm, Dune, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
I’ve mocked up a cover. I will have to use a pseudonym, of course.
The question remains: will that box be full of “fingers” that are bigger than a baby’s arm?
“It’s like a baby’s arm with an apple in its fist.”
I thought that was a canine thing
I haven’t heard “babies arm holding an apple” in over 30 years.
I regularly use that line spud.
I’m pretty out of date though.
“Back 40” is a euphemism for anal, right?
Sacrum frottage is all the rage.
I had always heard it as, “Playing the back nine…”, but I guess it could be the back 40 if you’re a little stretched out.
You want a box of fingers? I can get you a box of fingers.
Butterfingers or Lady fingers?
Look, with a box of fingers, you don’t ask questions, got it?
So which is it?
“ Authorities said they’re not sure what the body parts were intended for”
“Christian County Coroner Scott Daniel confirmed the incident, saying the box was originally meant for “surgical training.”
Journalisming is hard.
If you’re a Kentucky Colonel does that make you “Sir Jacksalot”?
No, that’s British. He would the the Honorable Colonel Jacksalot.
I thought in British that would be ‘Wanksalot’. ‘Jacksalot’ is American.
Good point
As a Kentucky Colonel myself I can confirm this.
Baculum is your vocabulary word of the day (thanks SF!). You earn fifty quatloos if you horn it into a conversation today.
I knew that raccoons had one because the moonshiners use it on the outflow of their stills.
I knew that raccoons had one because I just re-read William Gibson’s Count Zero…
Apparently raccoon bacula were popular watch-chain ornaments among Victorian-era rakes as it gave them an excuse to explain to young ladies what it was and where it came from.
Raccoon bacula sounds like some odd furry Dracula.
“You’re gonna suck what?”
I did like Scott Baculum in Quantum Leap.
Oosik bastard!
I Learned that about 25 uears ago when my dad tossed me one and asked
Me if I knew what it was.
It was a badger one. Poor fellow had broken it and it had set crooked. I can’t imagine what that felt like.
This would haunt me to my marrow.
The urge to actually write this book is a physical ache.
Please do. And post it on Amazon.
It certainly would be humerus.
Tibia sure.
I’m sure that it would make us all ilium.
I think he might be just ribbing us.
If you write it they will
cum/s> come.Man I apparently edged that tag. Never finished.
Why are all these bones polished to a mirror finish?
“ Authorities said they’re not sure what the body parts were intended for”
Soup, most likely.
touching, grabbing and holding things mostly, although they also sometimes pick noses and masturbate.
Comps: Morning Glory Milking Farm, Dune, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
?!?!?
I’m guessing it means “comparables” as in comparable works. Realtors generally “pull three comps” (comparable houses) when advising clients on setting asking prices or making offers.
Nerd bait deployed, hunt successful.
For she is the Tugoff Bonerhack!
Comps is how books are sold now to publishers. You give (typically) three books your book is like or influenced by.
This is downward spiral: You give comps, then your book is used for comps, then those books are used for comps…
So everything converges to a beige slop.
Poor Mikie Sherril. She’s not even the first female governor of her state.
But she’s the first Democrat female, so that makes it historic.
Which means the other women are gender traitors and so therefore aren’t women and so therefore Mikkie Sherill is the first woman governor of NJ.
QED.
Whitman may as well have been a Democrat.
She like all right thinkers is a Never Trumper.
Does Whitman still have an R by her name? If so, gender traitor, not a real woman.
Whitman was only a sampler of what could happen under with a woman governor.
Did you know she was a pilot?
lulz
Maybe they were tired of her complaining so they gave her the fingers.
lol actual quote from Kwame last night –
Get out while you can.
For every one of us that sees that as a red flag, there is someone else who says “Hell yeah!”
Sweet drunken Enkidu…just spool up the re-education camps already…
I saw a concussion specialist today, which was interesting. Two hours of testing and what felt like a college class. The guy knows his stuff. Bottom line, I am not yet ok, and now I’m going to therapy for the dizziness. Follow up appointment is in 2 weeks.
Meanwhile my coach bought flights for our upcoming Dec. 3 tournament, and he got me a ticket but he can put it on hold if I can’t make it. I have a good coach.
Best wishes.
+1
+another
Best wishes, Kevin. That is not pleasant.
You are in my thoughts, Kevin.
Thanks everyone. I do feel like I’ve been improving, but they gave me a computer test and wow, I could tell there was something way off with my concentration and memory. So not quite there.
Thinkie blob no like bouncing around bone dome, is ouchy
I am glad you are seeing a speciallist, TOK. Good luck with everything.
I hope it turns out that the skeletons belong to people who inexplicably ejaculate all over the DMV workers in the afterlife. Then you can tie in Beetlejuice too.
Question for you hunting glibs – .357 lever action – good or bad for whitetails?
Before that, verify your state / the state you want to hunt in allows straight-wall cartridges for deer hunting. Yes. That is a thing.
… 😣
You can get lever action in a 30-30, I think which will meet all state regs. Or the Buckhammer.
I know, I love .357 too. But it isn’t kosher everywhere.
Thankfully, I haven’t bought anything yet.
You can get lever action in 5.56 NATO/.223, .308 Winchester, .30-30, and many other cartridges.
https://www.henryusa.com/style/rifles/
I started with the .357 because I’m looking at a revolver and figured it’d be nice to have the same ammo for both.
I took a deer with a .41 Rem Mag pistol. One shot and he was DOA. A .357 will do the trick, as others have said, if it’s legal. I sort of wanted one once, had a Smith .357 at the time for a companion.
That is a fine thought. Henry has a very attractive 357 revolver to go with the rifle now.
Ah. Rifle/Pistol combo in the same caliber.
44 Mag is the only way to go. Easily take whitetail deer. With hard bullets it is even suitable for bear.
If it is too much recoil in the pistol snag yourself some 44 specials.
I lost a .44 Rem (Smith) in a boating accident recently. I hadn’t shot it much. The rubber grips bite, the good news is my hearing is so bad it doesn’t affect that too much.
You need a .44 magnum. Most powerful handgun in the world. Blow your head clean off.
Spud, I actually do have a .45 Winc Mag Thompson Contender. It’s 1 bigger than a .44 Rem Mag and 1 more powerful
I fired a .454 Casull once…once.
But can o get a 30-30 chambered relvolver?
Sure.
https://www.sportsmans.com/shooting-gear-gun-supplies/handguns/magnum-research-bfr-revolver-30-30-winchester-10in-stainless-steel-revolver-6-rounds/p/1790143
Gotta be a wristbreaker though.
Depends on the wrist.
I’d give it a shot.
For little east-coast ones, probably fine. Your local hunting regs may vary.
I hunt whitetails with a cheap 11″ 300 Blackout upper on one of my AR lowers, because it’s cheap, VA-legal, and I can screw a silencer on it and not fuck up my hearing any more than it already is…
How close are you? In NY, fine. Out west, no bueno.
If you are using factory ammo 357 is a bit weak. In a lever, which is widely available, 30-30 is one of the best all around cartridges there is.
BTW – if you want a lever action plinker in 38 cal. make sure the gun specifies 38 and 357. If it doesnt that means it wont feed the 38’s properly.
30-30 in a Marlin 336, can’t beat it. I’ve given 2- 94s and a 336 away. Grand daughter shot her first moose with the 336 that I had given her.
I know Suthen is a 94 fan though.
Oh, and I used to have a Marlin 1894 in .357. Great little gun, but never shot outside the range, and it isn’t really a range gun, so I moved it along.
To honor the day (Remember, remember the 5th of November):
PREMIUM Homemade Black Powder… in a Semi Auto!? – Gridlessness
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-fjBQFATPk
go ahead click it. you are already on a list somewhere.
Unpopular Opinion II: *Everyone* should break at least one bone; the ability to understand both pain and recovery depends on it.
Haven’t broken a bone? You fundamentally lack experience necessary to differentiate gradients of pain, and your opinion on it lacks merit.
I am not worse off for having a sturdy skeleton.
What if you broke it at 19, thought it was just a bad sprain, and only learned it was broken at 45 when an x-ray tech asked you about why you had let it heal twisted? My right ulnar styloid process sticks up about a half of an inch above where it is supposed to be. Yes, boys and girls a broken bone will heal if left to its own devices, but it may not heal right!
My feet are like that. Looks like a half-assembled jigsaw puzzle.
It seldom bothers me, but when I was in better shape and spent long periods of time on a rowing machine, my right hand and forearm would get numb along the outer edge, back to the elbow because the angle and support on that wrist are screwed up from it.
And how’d you break the feet?
Ditto my left clavicle. And probably the no. 1 rib on that side too.
Broke my feet a couple times. Most recent I slipped on a wet driveway gawking at a Dodge Viper. Fell backwards onto my own foot.
Army hospital laughs at Jarflax.
Only broken bone (never actually confirmed, since why go to the doctor for it?) was my left pinkie. I originally thought it was just jammed, but I couldn’t move it, and when I looked down at it, I got to see one of the joints at a 90 degree angle to the other. Only finger joint that I can no longer curve back.
I went almost forty years without breaking any bones. Apparently I broke an arm when I was like five, when my grandmother threw me down the stairs*, but I have no memory of it.
Then last year I broke my little toe, but that just barely counts.
* – she didn’t actually throw me down the stairs. This is what passes for black humor in my family. Grandma wasn’t a nice person, but she wasn’t physically abusive. And her house did have a very steep and poorly lit staircase.
Bones, like rules, are there to be broken.
I’ve never broken my own bones, but I broke my ex-wife’s pinky toe dancing and I broke our Liberian foreign exchange student’s ankle in a high school gym class basketball game.
But pain? I have plenty of experience with that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ThDwS79HPhs
Life Is Pain.
I’m on my second one of these.
Let me count…
L arm 2X about 3 years apart- climbing and falling off things when I was young
R hand hitting a guy
Nose 3X (2X for me)
Right ankle falling off something
Tailbone falling down stairs
Kneecap hairline fracture getting hit with a water ski
“Falling off something”. Is that a euphemism for the large ladies you like?
Oh and 3 ribs that were initially diagnosed as bruised. But a few years later when I was having a CT the doc said “I see you have some recent fractures on those ribs…”
They’re cushion.
Cause Bumbles bounce.
I’ve had a few orthopedic surgeries, does that count?
“*Everyone* should break at least one bone;”
Just don’t practice with the pelvis. Ask me how I know…
Doin’ the Time Warp too many times?
Just got news this morning that my fake ankle is fucked.
Looks like a bone graft in. The future. I bet it fails and I lose the foot.
So much for being employed.
Not good news, 3Door. Sorry to hear that.
I’m hoping it can be put off till the end of July. It’s my slow time and I should have 8-9 weeks to try the bone graft.
Otherwise and also I need to find another guy to train. Takes about six months to train. It’s a bitch find anyone willing to work weekends and holidays that has a CDL and is t a loser.
Geez, dude. Fingers crossed.
Thanks spud. Hopefully the referral to Spokane is relatively quick and provides more information as to how to proceed.
Clearly you have never given birth, you piker. Go home to mommy.
My mom broke my collar bone doing that to me.
So mean.
Tough love should start early.
@Mo: Wasn’t referring to non-broken bones. A broken bone is *SUDDEN* injury, not a process, though the recovery is. I also highly doubt giving birth trumps snapping a femur. (‘Only’ cracked the other one.)
Fundamental point (and difference) is the learning curve involved. You have six weeks to heal a bone. The snap, learn to adapt to new movement, learning (and failing by trusting too much) to move proper again, to back to normal. That *process* is the crucial point, here.
OTOH: ~95% of the time, ya delivery a healthy baby after labor, an immediate reward and surge of all the happy positive bonding chems and a new human project of your own making!. As opposed to falling down and cracking a tailbone (or whatever) and you have six nasty weeks for the pain to remind you of how fucking stupid you were for about a half-second and ya just put up with the pain, constantly reminding you of it.
Labor and a broken bone are certainly in the same ballpark, but they ain’t at all playin’ the same sport.
I broke my nose when I was a kid. We were playing tag and I ran into a post of some sort that should have been removed from the playground but hadn’t been. My nose is off-center to this day.
Let’s see: Broken radius (HS football), broken ribs a couple of times (martial arts), broken hand (martial arts), broken foot (playing with dog in the back yard).
Professor William M. Bass established the Forensic Anthropology Center in 1987. Beginning with a modest spot of land for the Anthropology Research Facility, also known as the Body Farm, the Forensic Anthropology Center has grown into a leading institution for forensic anthropology research and training. Our resources and facilities include the Anthropology Research Facility (commonly known as the Body Farm), a dynamic body donation program, the UTK Donated Skeletal Collection, Professional Training Courses and the William M. Bass Forensic Anthropology Building. These resources are available to students, researchers, and law enforcement agencies.
NOTE: We do not provide tours of the Body Farm.
https://fac.utk.edu/
This is what drones are for.
No doctor verified broken bones. However I was stumbling around in the dark one night and kicked a table leg with my little toe. I did not go see a doc but given the amount of pain and unusual color it took on I’m certain it was broke.
I wore a cast on my foot for a few weeks, unusual circumstances, I could do an article on that…
The only cool tho g I got from Hop-town KY was the Amish buggy sign next to the Cat West.
The statute of limitations has long since past.
https://ibb.co/qSR9KLd
Damn, dude. Sorry to hear about your foot. May the graft do its job well.
I’ve been swapping out fluorescents with LEDs lately. I’ve done about 10 fixtures. It’s tough for a geezer, trying to work overhead off a ladder. Seems the steps are too low or too high. Leaning back is not my strong suit anymore. I installed the fixtures over 30 years ago but for some odd reason thought that LEDs would be better.
At least no vibrating or humming and the lights come on instantly.
I’ve started doing the same. They work better in the cold too.
I’ve got the cold thing (lights don’t work in the winter) in the garages but the lights are fairly high (for me), like 9-10 feet. I may have to hire someone to do those
I have almost two pallets of incandescents still.
I lose about four of five 40 wt bulbs a year. Same for the floods.
I switched over as I needed to replace bulbs. Much improvement.
I do t like the light quality of LEDs.
Another advantage is that my electrical panel is completely full. But, all the breakers for lights are now providing for LEDs, not incandescent or Halogen.
LED specific breakers?
LEDs don’t pull as much as the others, so the even though the panel is full, the overall load is less as a result.
Not that lights pull that much amperage.
So this happened at the Chipotle XY was supposed to open before they screwed him over.
No one was hurt in the commission of this schadenfreude.
Maybe they turned around because of an urgent need to go to the bathroom?
I don’t know. I may have an industrial Aztec eating a burrito in my dining room, but *I* have never eaten Chipotle food.
Mom: What do they serve there?
Me: Cilantro.
Mom: Never mind.
Maybe that’s why different feet work different pedals. Sounds like a case of mixed up feet.
Hopefully no one was hurt and no glass in the food.
Were you or your son the driver?
Neither.
For the confused, “Back-40” is a rancher/farmer generalized term for the land they own behind the house, the idea is that it is 40 acres.
Like the North 40, I’ve sold a couple smaller pieces off, now it’s the North 24.
North 40 is what I call my forehead.
North 40 is a great store.
Im surprised to think it required explanation
You’d be surprised. I used “bull in a China shop” with one of our Gen Z employees. “I have no idea what that means.”
You can’t be niggardly with explanations to Gen Z.
Fair to middlin’ I ‘spose
Kids today, anyway. My 30 year old grand daughters laugh and have to ask me to explain.
OTOH I have no idea about anything techie but at least I passed my driver’s test 70 years ago in a straight stick.
One of the 20somethings at work didn’t know what “Rome wasn’t built in a day” meant although I suspect she might just be stupid.
You know what’s even better? Using GenZ slang when talking to them. It give me everlasting delight to tell the young Padawan living upstairs that he has no drip, which means he has no rizz. It even makes the gf cringe and tell me to stop.
It’s cringe. Stop.
Confuse ’em with jive.
https://preview.redd.it/cab-calloways-hepster-dictionary-1939-v0-jr41twx6i21b1.png?auto=webp&s=ae824ed076c954342730f35577f00a7276aeea76
Baffle ’em with jive.
https://preview.redd.it/cab-calloways-hepster-dictionary-1939-v0-jr41twx6i21b1.png?auto=webp&s=ae824ed076c954342730f35577f00a7276aeea76
Today, XY texted me:
Tangentially: I’m on a rampage about enshittification. The last two days, I’ve been dealing with three different tech companies over their services (that I pay for) for disparate problems, and one with more than two problems, and NONE of my issues got resolved because the service doesn’t work as advertised and they don’t give a shit. Hours and HOURS spent on this bullshit.
Me going all Karen: I pay for this and I want it to work as advertised!
Them: It doesn’t. So solly. GFY.
So I’ve been going back to paper and pen. I have notes fucking everywhere for everything, and my filing cabinet is getting used again.
One of the 20somethings at work didn’t know what “Rome wasn’t built in a day” meant although I suspect she might just be stupid.
No wonder. It’s burned. Rome wasn’t BURNED in a day.