Milked on the ICE Farm: A Forbidden Romance

by | Jan 14, 2026 | Sugarverse | 156 comments

“Pig!” she spat, and spat in his face. As Sophia snarled at him, saliva dripping from her chin, she noticed his beautiful angry eyes. “Free Palestine!” she screamed reflexively. Then she winced because that was a deprecated slogan.

The officer brought up his pepper spray, and a light spritz hit her eyes. She cried then, orange tears of release and chemical irritation, and felt her vaginal mucosa moisten and moisten. Moist.

“Free Mumia!” she said, grabbing at his uniform as an excuse to fondle his biceps. They were bigger than her last limp lover’s waist. She gasped, and coughed as she inhaled pepper spray. “Do you like Indian food?!?” she screamed, her purple hair quivering.

“She’s not interested!” her protest partner Llith said, moving in-between the two of them. Lilith was very large and wielded they’s sheer mass like a weapon in the pull and push and push of the frontline of the interdiction action. The ICE agent stumbled a bit as the blob hit him with them’s vast bulk.

“Ma’am!” the officer screamed over the din, “You need to step back!”

“He called you ‘ma’am,’ he’s handsome and polite!” Sophia yelled. She faked a swoon, hoping the agent would catch her, carrying her away. Maybe he had a cabin. She could wear dresses and learn to bake. A whole tradwife life bloomed in her imagination.

“Ukraine?” Sophia yelled, hoping he believed in something, anything.

“Ma’am, you are not getting into this facility,” he said.

She reached out and pulled down his gaiter. He was gorgeous, she saw. Those brown eyes, the blue-black curls of his hair peaking from under his helmet.

“You’re Latinx!” she gasped. Mesmerized, she barely noticed the pepperball that nailed Lilith in them’s septum ring. “I love tacos! Let’s go for tacos!”

She had a violent orgasm as he raised his baton. But he looked at her, really looked at her, and got out his zip-cuffs instead, and turned her around roughly.

“DADDY!” she gushed, and fell backwards into his arms. “TIGHTER!” she said as the cuffs ratcheted round her wrists.

About The Author

SugarFree

SugarFree

Your Resident Narcissistic Misogynist Rape-Culture Apologist

156 Comments

  1. The Late P Brooks

    Maybe he had a cabin. She could wear dresses and learn to bake.

    *fans self*

  2. Not Adahn

    she barely noticed the pepperball that nailed Lillith in them’s septum ring.

    🙂

  3. kinnath

    Well.

    That wasn’t as bad as I feared after reading the Header on the main page.

    • The Other Kevin

      I too braced myself after reading the title. But the most disturbing parts might be yet to come.

      • juris imprudent

        It is the innocuous titles that deceive you most about the content.

      • Threedoor

        I hope so TOK

  4. The Late P Brooks

    If that’s not misogynist rape-culture apologism I don’t know what is.

    • Tonio

      Winner, winner, chicken dinner.

  5. Tonio

    The mouth that bites the hand that feeds it,
    Often licks the boot that kicks it.

  6. R.J.

    This must be happening a hundred times a day right now.

  7. Not Adahn

    Yanno, between SF, Mojeax , and Tonio, the site might be able to fund itself through porn sales.

    • Not Adahn

      I can donate pics of my feet to the cause.

    • Tonio

      Thanks for the shout-out.

    • Mojeaux

      Hey. I don’t write PORN. I write scenes of intimacy with various levels of explicitness between people who love each other very much.

      Also, only 5% of my first book has those scenes.

      • Ted S.

        Suuuuuuuuure you don’t write porn. :-p

        It’s one of those irregular verbs: My work is tasteful erotica; yours is porn; those people over there are just smut peddlers.

      • Mojeaux

        My work was never even considered erotica, per genre guidelines, and it SURE as hell isn’t now. Explicity inflation.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      That’s our sister site, OnlyGlibs.

      • Threedoor

        Go on.

  8. Ted S.

    She reached out and pulled down his gator.

    Technically it’s a caiman.

  9. DEG

    “She’s not interested!” her protest partner Llith said

    She did the meme!

    And the misspelling I read as Lolth.

  10. The Late P Brooks

    Axially, it’s a “gaiter”.

    Or possibly not.

    • SugarFree

      Dammit, you’re right.

      • R.J.

        I’ve been using the Glibs Seppuku knife as a poop knife in the employee restroom. Do I need to go get it?

      • Not Adahn

        It was gaiter, but considering how fast language mutates these days…

      • Mojeaux

        Gaiters are also kinda like spats, only more serviceable, not decorative, and cover the trouser legs as well as the shoes.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Urban Dictionary — Gayter: 1. A person who dislikes gays. 2. A gay hater. 3. A hater who is gay. 4. A gay waiter. 5. A gay alligator. 6. A man or woman who is obviously gay but doesnt know it until later..(gay-later)…usually after marrying and having children.

        Now we could add an especially flamboyant neck and head covering?

      • EvilSheldon

        When I was down in Ecuador, all the small boat pilots wore gaiters to keep the sun off, except they called them ‘buffs’. I picked one up myself – they’re a useful piece of gear.

      • Threedoor

        I wear one when welding.
        600 amp sunburns are no fun.

      • Dr Mossy Lawn

        My Mother has a fox stole.. I think it was her mother’s which would put it into the 40’s. Still in good shape. Loaned out to those that want to make a statement.

  11. The Other Kevin

    That Amanda Marcotte article from the last thread was the perfect lead-in. I would pay good money to watch her read this.

    • rhywun

      I missed that. Holy crap… what do these people think they need saving from? What is the threat? Fewer Somali food trucks? Less rape?

      • The Other Kevin

        With Trump winning, a significant portion of the population convinced themselves that the country is full of white supremacist Nazi’s, or we’re so stupid we don’t realize we are supporting white supremacist Nazi’s. It was either that, or admit their entire “side” is based on lies and bullshit, which was never going to happen.

        They literally think they are fighting the next Hitler.

      • PutridMeat

        They literally think they are fighting the next Hitler.

        And maybe they are. I won’t lay claim to knowing what the future holds when it comes to figuring out what those who deign to rule will do if they see political benefit to it.

        That said, I’ve seen no obvious signs the OMB is Hitler. Fascist-lite, sure. But criticism along those lines coming from the people who have been advocating for hard-fascism/democratic socialism – well forgive me for telling you to fuck right off.

        I was somewhat disappointed at the tameness of the prose in the face of the title. I unzipped for nothing.

      • Bobarian LMD

        I really miss the days of BushPigHitler.

        That was some old-timey fascism.

      • juris imprudent

        Fascist-lite, sure.

        Yeah, which isn’t exactly unique to OMB. He’s just the crass version of Mr. I-have-a-pen-and-a-phone.

      • Fourscore

        Each protester needs to sponsor a live in illegal, preferably a Somali. Financially support that new arrival until that person is financially independent.

        And don’t depend on my tax dollars. Until that time protesting is not allowed. No skin in the game, no protesting allowed.

    • Rat on a train

      It has been awhile since I had fish tacos.

      • juris imprudent

        One thing I really miss about California.

      • rhywun

        I’m OK with fish but I don’t like it enough to waste quality taco ingredients on it.

      • Threedoor

        Crappie make pretty good fish tacos.

      • Fourscore

        So, crappie tacos?

  12. Aloysious

    …vaginal mucosa moisten and moisten. Moist.

    That is by far the most unsexiest line that I have read today. I think the porn industry just contracted.

      • Ted S.

        No socks: she was wearing Birkenstocks.

      • Aloysious

        The curls of her unshorn leg hair flattened as they grew heavy with dew, her mind fogging as she pictured zhim as a concupiscent Minotaur…

        I can’t do romance like Mo.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        Teds would be the first German to NOT wear socks with sandles.

      • Ted S.

        I don’t wear sandals.

      • Furthest Blue pistoffnick (370HSSV)

        concupiscent filled with sexual desire; lustful.

        I leant a new word today! Thanks Aloysious.

    • Tonio

      But that is part of the genius that is SugarFree — taking something which should be erotic and turning it all horrible. Like a ruined orgasm.

      • Threedoor

        Just how do you ruin an orgasm?

      • SugarFree

        I often feel like you are the only one that truly understands me.

      • Nephilium

        Threedoor:

        You could search for it.

        [DO NOT SEARCH FOR IT]

      • Ted S.

        Threedoor:

        The technical term is “penile fracture”.

      • Mojeaux

        @SugarFree

        I often feel like you are the only one that truly understands me.

        Hey. *I* am the one who caught Jill Biden serving arsenic donuts to albino kids in the attic.

      • SugarFree

        True, my dear, you did. The rest sicken me to have missed it.

  13. PieInTheSky

    was this inspired by that bug girl tweet?

    • SugarFree

      Yes. And a bunch of other memes going around.

  14. Translucent Chum

    This reminds me of the scene in PCU when the feminists find out that if they’re nice then guys still do things for them.

    • EvilSheldon

      God damn, that movie was ahead of it’s time…

    • Nephilium

      PCU, which is not available for streaming anywhere for some reason.

    • Threedoor

      What movie is this?

      • Threedoor

        Literally PUC

        I’m slow.

      • EvilSheldon

        I was about to say, you’re not familiar with Jon Favreau’s greatest role?

  15. Aloysious

    …she barely noticed the pepperball that nailed Lilith in them’s septum ring.

    Now that right there is funny.

    Also, I really hate septum rings. Especially if both nostrils are pierced.

    • Mojeaux

      So, XX got one of those septum rings. We hated it but we didn’t say anything. Like, you know that looks like you have a booger hanging out of your nose, right?

      Then she got a boyfriend. *poof* went the septum ring.

      • Aloysious

        I get young adults experimenting. I’m glad she chose wisely.

        I do wonder how much of that thing is the result of spending too much time on social media.

      • rhywun

        I am close friends with a married couple (well, the husband – she’s a bitch) where they both have one.

        Nipple rings and too many tatts too.

      • Mojeaux

        I’m just saying that the disappearance of her septum ring looks suspiciously like her boyfriend said, “Pssst… No.”

      • SugarFree

        Beware the silver booger
        There is nothing there but woe

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Do these people never sneeze?

  16. Aloysious

    She had a violent orgasm as he raised his baton.

    That’s, like, a euphemism crossed with symbology or something.

    DADDY!” she gushed, and fell backwards into his arms.

    Ah, romance. Love is in the air.

  17. Rat on a train

    Do it!

    Germany is planning to set up a joint Nato operation in the Arctic in an effort to dissuade Donald Trump from annexing Greenland.

    The “Arctic Sentry” mission to monitor threats in the region could be modelled on Nato’s “Baltic Sentry” operation, which started last year to counter hostile activity and protect infrastructure in the Baltic Sea, sources told Bloomberg.

    • Bobarian LMD

      A NATO operation without US funding?

      If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to here it, does it make a sound?

      • Bobarian LMD

        Or hear it.

  18. Aloysious

    When I read the title of this post, I thought naughty Minotaurs were going to be involved. I clicked with no little trepidation.

  19. rhywun

    lol There is a “Free Mumia” graffito on the side of a building around me that I noticed before I even moved here a couple years ago, asking myself “what the hell am I getting myself into”.

    It’s probably been sitting there for decades and it never occurred to the owner to clean his walls.

    • Rat on a train

      If it is like the walls I’ve seen near Washington cleaning the canvas just gives newer artists an opportunity.

      • SarumanTheWoefullyIgnorant

        Repetition tires out the graffiti artists. We had a local bridge where every time someone marked it the neighbor would immediately whitewash it. It stopped being marked after a few times.

      • rhywun

        Here, it’s just as likely that the owner supports the opinion.

    • creech

      Paint a swastika or the n word on it and someone will paint it over real quick for free.

    • Sean

      The comments are on point.

      • Threedoor

        Sadly I can’t see them.

      • Sean

        Yes, put those big strong hands on me harder you dirty hot fascist!

        “Harder daddy”

        Becky was confused. She felt her reality shattering as the handcuffs clicked shut. This was her moment to shine online, to show her subs that her righteous war on ICE was invincible. Wait — the fascist on her left arm is HOT. Did he just wink…?

  20. PutridMeat

    Reads title – Oh dear god no. Girds loins and tries to prepare to read this. Maybe I should just go back to work…

  21. PieInTheSky

    Ok I do not really want to make light of the dead minnesota woman, but I heard her refereed to as George Foid on the internet and it cracked me up.

    • db

      I give up. I’m gonna need this explained to me

      • EvilSheldon

        Same. The only FOID I know of is the Illinois Firearm Owners Identification Card…

      • DEG

        The usual suspects were trying to give her the George Floyd treatment. Use “Foid” instead of “Floyd”, and viola.

      • db

        The Foid is the part I don’t get

      • EvilSheldon

        For anyone else who didn’t know – ‘Foid’ is short for ‘femoid’, a term coined by the incel community for a brainless or culturally programmed woman that won’t have sex with them.

      • kinnath

        I didn’t know that.

        Of course, I don’t hang out with incels.

    • Fourscore

      Misspelled froid but in any case, she sure is now.

    • Threedoor

      I wish they would do that at Walmart.

    • Rat on a train

      The chase adds to the experience.

      • rhywun

        OMG I didn’t stay for that. Hilarious.

      • EvilSheldon

        That might be another example of ‘pretending to not understand the problem.’

  22. The Late P Brooks

    They literally think they are fighting the next Hitler.

    Right. If that posturing dipshit at the Ford plant had been “escorted” away by the Secret Service, never to be seen again, they might have a case.

  23. EvilSheldon

    This is nothing short of a masterpiece, SF. Please, please, get it up onto the larger social media sphere. It deserves far wider distribution than we can give it.

  24. juris imprudent

    In the ded-thred, sloopy wondered what I would do if invited to a gun fight. I’d do what real western gunslingers did – sneak up on ’em and shoot in the back.

    Never mind that he posed that in response to my point that politics may not be beanbag but it ain’t civil war either. And civil war is what you end up with when the institutions have lost their function (as happens when they keep being abused by whoever is in power).

    • EvilSheldon

      Myself, I would just politely decline the invitation. You can’t lose a gunfight that you don’t attend.

    • EvilSheldon

      More relevant to the point – Progressives frequently drive Subarus. Does this mean that you wouldn’t ever drive a Subaru?

      Using the same methods that Progs do, because those methods are effective, is not emulating them.

    • Drake

      They lose their function when the rules are no longer followed or enforced. That’s when the Romans started stabbing each other and the Spanish started shooting each other.

      • juris imprudent

        Problem with the Roman example is they were ALWAYS turning their swords on one another when they weren’t out conquering new territory. The only peace in Rome was bought by getting the violence out on the periphery.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    The Detroit Free Press is paywalled.

  26. The Late P Brooks

    Instead, Ford guy gets a feature interview at WaPo. Idi Amin would have killed him and eaten him.

  27. Threedoor

    As much as I miss Warty Hugeman and the Girl with the Swastika Eyes.

    I NEED more of this in my life.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    Assault on democracy

    The Department of Homeland Security detained a New York City Council employee during an immigration appointment on Monday, leading to outrage from Mayor Zohran Mamdani.

    DHS says the migrant, 53-year-old Rafael Andres Rubio Bohorquez, overstayed on a 2017 tourist visa. They also say he was arrested in an assault case. Mamdani and other city leaders demanded the man’s release on Monday.

    “I am outraged to hear a New York City Council employee was detained in Nassau County by federal immigration officials at a routine immigration appointment,” Mamdani wrote in a statement on X. “This is an assault on our democracy, on our city, and our values. I am calling for his immediate release and will continue to monitor the situation.”

    Routine status review?

    “Your papers are not in order. Come this way.”

    • kinnath

      We needed to get visas when we travelled to Moscow on business.

      I was showing it to someone and they commented “so this is what gets you into Russia”. I said no, “this is what gets me out of Russia”.

      • rhywun

        Nice.

        Same when I visited China. I had to wait two weeks for some functionary to approve my application. The thought of overstaying it with no consequences ever entered my mind, and there is no way in hell the locals would have rallied to my cause if I tried to pull that.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        The border guards barely even looked at my paperwork leaving Russia. Having an American passport has its advantages, especially back in the 90s. On the other hand, they nearly arrested my wife and stole her money even though she was from a country that didn’t require a Russian visa.

    • The Other Kevin

      They’re trying to make him into the Communist Hero we never wanted.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    New York Attorney General Letitia James threw her weight behind calls for the employee’s release later Monday.

    “We will not stand for attacks on our city, its public servants, and its residents,” she wrote on X.

    Bureaucratic immunity, it’s right there in the Constitution.

    • The Other Kevin

      Nobody on the other side is above the law.

    • Ted S.

      Just checked my phone (Verizon) and I’ve got service.

    • SarumanTheWoefullyIgnorant

      I had no service at all yester evening and last night. Just came back on a few minutes ago. Which is why I’m able to comment now.

      • Sensei

        Handle checks out!

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      My phone works, but my power was out for the last two hours thanks to California’s third world grid.

  30. The Late P Brooks

    Blind even handed justice

    w York Attorney General Letitia James’ office said on Tuesday it reached a settlement, opens new tab with Betar US that would wind down the far-right Zionist group’s New York operations after an investigation found the group intimidated pro-Palestinian activists.

    ——-

    After investigating Betar, the New York attorney general’s office found the group “repeatedly targeted individuals based on religion and national origin,” it said in a statement. Betar has been labeled an extremist group by the Anti-Defamation League, a Jewish advocacy organization.
    “The settlement requires Betar to immediately cease instigating or encouraging violence against individuals, threatening protesters, and harassing individuals exercising their civil rights, and subjects the organization to a suspended $50,000 penalty that will be enforced if Betar violates the agreement,” James’ office said.

    Antifa does not exist, or she’d put the clamps on them, too.

    It’s assholes, all the way down.

    • rhywun

      lol Some of them are out there literally calling for genocide but they’re the good guys.

      Gotta love this state.

    • kinnath

      New York and California are lost.

      That means the union is lost.

      I really fear the world my grandkids are going to suffer through.

    • EvilSheldon

      So you’re saying…that the Boomers were smarter than we are?

      I hate to say it, but you’re probably right.

      • kinnath

        takes a bow

    • Nephilium

      I’ve started shifting more into the Roth plan as from what I understand, I can pull out the principal with no penalty before the 59.5 age limit.

      • R.J.

        Yes. I forget what I have but I can start pulling out cash any day now, as I am over 59.5.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      Where do I sign up?

      • R.J.

        Jeez yeah. “I have needs!”

      • EvilSheldon

        No kidding! I was just thinking about all the rare whiskys I could buy with a $15k/year booze budget!

    • Dr Mossy Lawn

      So, pre-gaming… hey boys, lets get down to the clinic to start the morning… then we can really get our drink on.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        The Clinic would be a good name for a bar.

    • EvilSheldon

      And the dimwits working for this program are collecting between $110k and $225k/year in salaries.

      Remind me again why I got out of bed this morning?

    • EvilSheldon

      And $112k for ‘IT services’.

      I am 100% positive that’s grift money going to someone’s brother or cousin. I consult for a bunch of different non-profits around the size of this one, and not single one has ever generated 100k+ billing in a single year. Not by a long shot.

      • R.J.

        Then you aren’t billing right! Get that grift calculator out and suck that free money teat!

        Now where is that stupid non-profit phone number? I need my free Whistlepig! I have needs!

  31. R.J.

    This is the longest afternoon I have experienced in years.

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